Fatherly Math Jokes
23 fatherly math jokes and hilarious fatherly math puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fatherly math that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Fatherly Math Short Jokes
Short fatherly math jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fatherly math humour may include short fatherly 50 jokes also.
- father in law just made an accidental calculus joke By the time I got to calculus in math, I realized I had reached my limit.
- When I was younger my father was a math professor... One day I asked him what the average professor was like. He replied, "there is no average professors, but I know a lot of mean ones!"
- Two fathers chat outside school in the morning;
"Bill, have you solved your son’s math problems?"
"Yes, man, I did. Why?"
"Can you quickly give them to me, so I can copy them...?" - Teacher: "Answer this math problem: if your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. What will he have?"
Student: "A heart attack." - Teacher: "Answer this math problem: if your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. What will he have?"
Student: "A heart attack." - Teacher: "Answer this math problem: if your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. What will he have?"
Student: "A heart attack."
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Fatherly Math Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about fatherly math you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean smart math jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fatherly math pranks.
A teacher was giving a math lesson...
...and she asked one of her students, "If you had two dollars, and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?"
The student replied, "Two dollars."
"Not quite," the teach responded. "Sounds like you don't know your addition.
"No," the student said, "you just don't know my father."
Johnny Joke
Tell me, Johnny said his teacher, if your father borrowed $100 and promises to pay $10 a week, how much will he owe in 7 weeks?
One hundred dollars, said Johnny.
I'm afraid you don't know your math very well, said the teacher.
I may not know my math, said Johnny, but I know my father.
A father meets his son's teacher.
« Sir, I'm afraid your son is a cheater », says the teacher.
« What? No ! What makes you say that? » responds the father
« Well, in the last math test, he had the same answers as his neighbour. »
« Yeah, that's a math test, duh. There's only one good answer, right? »
« Indeed, but in one of the questions, your son's neighbour answered "I don't know" .»
« So what ? »
« Well, your d**... son wrote "yeah, me neither". »
A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math.
A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He's getting "A"s in math. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?" "You know", the son explains, "when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!
A bad math joke I came up with
A little boy sees something way up in the sky and runs to his mom to ask her what it is. She points the boy to his father and tells him to ask him so the boy runs over to his father and asks what is in the sky. The father can't answer either but points the boy to his uncle saying he should be able to help. The boy runs over to his uncle but his uncle doesn't have an answer either and just points the boy back to his mother, the boy then knows what is in the sky.
[Because it takes 3 points to define a plane](/spoiler)
"If you had a dollar," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another dollar, how much money would you have?"
"One dollar." answered little Johnny.
"You don't know your basic math." said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed.
Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my father"
Math joke
M>have you heard the story of the three eggs and one was good ?
H> not yet
M> two bad...
H> go back to bed ya sh*t head
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* P.S. the first joke my father taught me, R.I.P. *
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The son of a godfather comes back home at the end of school year with his report.
The report states:
History A
Math A+
Science A+
Literature A
Geography B+
The father grabs a gun and shot him in the head.
The mother shocked and in tears asks: "why did you shoot him?!"
And the Boss: "he knew too much"
A guy arrives home early...
Father: you're home early...
Son: *sigh* yeah, I got kicked out.
Father: What?! Why?!
Son: the prettiest girl in my math class offered to give me a h**... and I just couldn't say no
Father: I don't think they're going to let you teach there anymore
An 8 year old boy was horrendous at math.
His parents were worried about his math skills and decided to enroll him in a Catholic school. After the boy's first report card came out, he had straight A's in his math class. His father asked the boy, "How did the Catholic school make you better at math?" The boy responded with, "I never took math seriously but when walked in to my new school and saw the man nailed to the plus sign, I knew this place meant business!"
When I was a young boy, I was bad at Maths
I was so bad that I was expelled from my school for failing that subject so often. Because of this, my father sent me to Catholic school and after going for a year, my grades improved. The reason being, the second I walked through that door and saw the guy nailed to the fricking plus sign, I knew this school meant business.
A father is concerned with his son's bad grades in math
so he decides to enroll him in a Catholic school. After the first marking period, the son has an A in math.
The father is pleased, but he asks his son, "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?"
The son replies, "I knew they meant business when I saw the guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign!"
Johnny, if you had 5$ and you asked your father for 3$ more, how many dollars would you have?
I would have five dollars...
You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny...
You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch...
One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home.
He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?"
His father replied, "Figure it out."
Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?"
The teacher said: "Figure it out."
Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
Son comes home after school
As he walked into the living room, his half-drunk father greets him:
"Hey son, how was school?"
The son replies:
"Alright I guess, the math teacher gave us homework and I'm not sure I know how to do it."
"Here, let your old man help ya. How does it go?" - says dad
Son opens his textbook and starts reading the assignment:
"Charles has 14 apples, he gives 2 to his mom and 4 to his dad. How many apples does he have left?"
The dad leans back in his chair to think. For a few minutes he stares into the air doing calculations in his head. Another 5 minutes pass, and he looks at his son and says:
"What did ya say his name was again?"
A h**... is the First in his Family to Attend Ninth Grade...
Jethro is the first in a long line of h**... and bumpkins to attend schooling beyond the eighth grade. After his first day of high school, the whole family is bursting with pride to see him swaggering up the driveway.
His father says, "Jethro, come tell us about that fancy high school! What'd you learn up there today?"
Jethro says, "Pa, they taught me some al-gee-bra."
His father is dumbstruck. "What is al-gee-bra, boy?"
Jethro says, "I ain't too sure. I think it's a math language."
His father says, "Well, speak some of that fancy al-gee-bra for us!"
Jethro says, "Pi R Squared."
Everyone in the family stops smiling. Jethro's father shakes his head. "No, boy. Pie are round. Cornbread are squared."
The Jewish Kid at the Catholic School
A Jewish family just moved into a new town because of the fathers work and are looking for a good school for their son to attend. Since the public schools are notoriously terrible, they look to the private schools. After asking around, they learn that St. John's Academy is by far their best option. The boy is a great student and does well in every subject. Except math. Year after year he fails math. His parents are confused because he is such an excellent student in all other subjects. They even get him a tutor, but he continues to fail.
A few years later, they move again. Another new school. But this time it is a public school. He passes math the first semester with an A. His parents ask him why math had been so hard for him at St. John's.
He replied "Well in the classroom they had a picture of a guy nailed to a plus sign and I couldn't focus because I thought I was next!"