Father Of Bride Jokes

A young bride and groom to be

A young bride and groom to be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me" she asked the rather elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater three times a day.

A son asked his mother, "Why are wedding dresses white?"

She replied, "It shows your friends and relatives that the bride is pure."
Then the son went and asked the same question to his father.
"All household appliances come in white," said his father.

A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring.

As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned.
"Tell me," she asked the elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?"
With a fatherly smile, the salesman said,
"One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to dip it in dishwater three times a day."

At a wedding in Glasgow I whispered to a guy next to me

"Isn't the bride a right ugly dog"
"Do you mind. That's my daughter you're talking about"
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were her father''...
"I'm not . . . I'm her mother."

The r**... Honeymoon

A guy r**... and a girl r**... just got married. It's the night of the honeymoon and the guy's parents come home to find their son sitting there on the couch.
"Son, what are you doing here? Tonight's your honeymoon, you should be with your bride."
The son looks up forlornly, with tears in his eyes. "Well dad, I found out she's a v**...!"
The father shrugs and says "so?"
"C'mon dad, if she ain't good enough for her own family, she d**... sure ain't good enough for ours!"

On the night of their honeymoon, a newlywed couple has an unfortunate accident, resulting in the amputation of the groom's left foot. Unable to control her grief, the bride calls her mother from the hospital. "Mother," she sobs, "my husband has only one foot." The mother, trying to console her daughter, says, "That's alright dear, your father has only six inches."

A h**... couple get married...

and spend the honeymoon night at her folks' cabin. The next morning, the boys' father walks outside and the boy is back home sitting on his folks' porch. The father asks, "Where's your bride, boy?" The kid says, "Ah done left her, Pa." The old man says, "Now why did you go and do that for?" The kid replies, "Ah found out she's a v**...." The pa thinks a minute and says, "Well, you done right, son. If she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for arn' neither."

The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, and bright as a new penny.

When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help.
One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.
"Now do you understand?" he asked.
"I think so," she said.
"That was when mommy came to work for us?"

A feller from Arkansas went to Tennessee.

While he was there he met a girl and they fell in love. Eventually they got married and went on their honeymoon. They are about to do the deed when she tells him she is a v**..., that she has saved herself for him. He gets flustered and doesn't know what to do, so he gets up and goes back home to ask his parents what to do. After explaining about his new bride being a v**..., his father says, "You done right. If she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for you!"