Fate Jokes

Is it possible to turn jokes of Fate into reality? This article explores and examines the ideas raised by Fate Stay Night and the concept of repentance and rescue. It looks at whether it is possible to achieve an eternal state of joy and peace with the help of Fate.

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Short Fate Jokes
Fate One Liners
More Fate Jokes

Best Short Fate Jokes

These are our top fate puns. Have fun with a good fate joke in English with simple fate humour.

TIL if Steve Irwin had worn sunscreen that fateful day, he would have survived. Apparently it protects against harmful rays.
After the title "The Fate of the Furious", I just need next 2 movies to be titled Fast *nein* : The Fast and the *Furher*ious
Fast10 : your seatbelt
What is the difference between an economic recession and a broken down escalator? One is a terrible state of affairs the other is a terrible fate of a stairs.
Watching a cooking show when "We believe this was the last dish they served on the Titanic on that fateful day" I bet that went down well.
An Oracle Once Told me.. That it was fate that I had banged my leg into a table at school.
I guess it was my.. Desk to knee.
I'm afraid my marriage is going to suffer the same fate that half of all marriages have already suffered. Continued marriage.
When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
A buddy of mine believes in fate... When he fell down he slowly got back up and said "well, I'm glad that's over with"
If your father is poor, it's your fate. But if your father-in-law is poor, it's your stupidity.
I went to a fortune teller and she told me I was destined to eat all I could in a short period of time... It was my buf-fate.

Fate joke, I went to a fortune teller and she told me I was destined to eat all I could in a short period of ti

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these fate jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of fate puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Fate One Liners

Which fate dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fate?

Why did the phosphorus atom go to the fortune teller? To find out his phos-fate!
I hate having tinitus. It's a fate worse than deaf.
Make like an ill-fated skydiver... And bounce
I still can't believe how the pastry chef died... It's hard to imagine a cruller fate.
what ultimately decides your fate while you are driving? Your Carma
Do you think fate brought us together? Girl - Nah,I think it's was just bad luck
It's fate that Bungee releases the sequel to their sci-fi shooter MMO. It's Destiny, 2.
So an orca's prey tried to escape But his fate was sealed
Fate can be a cruel lady. I guess that's why it's called **mis**fortune.

Comical Fate Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about fate to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make fate prank.

so 3 men and 1 woman stranded on an island...

with no hopes of getting away they try to make the best out of their fate and decide to have s**.... the woman refuses, because she doesn't want to take all 3 men at once. so they have an agreement, saying that each man is allowed to have s**... with the woman for one week until they hand her to the next men. this 'circle of s**...' works pretty well and everyone is happy, until the woman gets ill and dies. the first month was okay for the 3 men. month 2 was getting pretty tough but they kept going. month 5 was very very hard for all of them, but they still stayed hard. finally in month 6 they decided to bury the woman...

A brunette and a blonde are stranded on an island.

Suddenly, a magical genie appears to them. He says, "You girls have stumbled upon an unfortunate fate. Therefore, I will grant you each one wish."
The brunette says, "I wish I were home with my family!"
"So it is done," the genie says, and the girl is poofed home.
The blonde looks over to where her friend had just been standing and says, "Aw man, I wish she hadn't left me here."

This is a message for His Holiness the Dalai Lama: "Please decide my fate in future existences based on my past life behavior."

It's a ***karma***\-seeking post.

b... b...

Two adventurers were captured by a tribe in the jungle.
The chief asked the first one: "Decide your fate: Death or b**... b**..."
He answered: "I choose b**... b**..." and was r**... by the whole tribe.
So the chief asked the second adventurer: "Death or b**... b**...".
He answered: "I choose death"
The chief: "Well, so it shall be. Death by b**... b**...!"

Oedipus wants to learn of his fate.

He travels to Thebes to consult the blind prophet Tiresias and asks him, "What does my future hold?"
Tiresias thinks quietly for a time and answers, "First you'll m**... your father."
Oedipus is shocked to hear that he'll become a killer, but there must be more to his fate.
He asks, "What happens next?"
"Then you'll take his throne."
Oedipus is pleased to hear that he'll become king, but there must be more to his fate.
"And what happens next?"
"Then you'll sleep with Joe."
Oedipus is confused.
"Who's Joe?"

A man with a wooden eye watches people at the dance...

After always being the b**... of jokes or bullying, he was scared to ask any girl to dance with him. He always had a fancy for Betsy, who was born with a hairlip. He always figured since they shared a similar fate, she might sympathize with him. He finally mustered up enough courage and asked Betsy, "Would you dance with me?" She sprang up excited and said "Would I? Would I?!". The man angrily says, "Well, hairlip! Hairlip!"

Who was the fatest knight at the round table?

Sir Cumference

A lion, a tiger, a cheetah and a mouse fell in a hole

after trying to get away for hours, they gave up and accepted their fate
soon enough everybody got hungry.
The tiger proposed that they start by eating the weakest animal, the cheetah agreed, but the mouse stood up and said : "if you touch the lion I'll kick you in the nuts"

Three guys get trapped in an elevator overnight.

They accept their fate and decide to sleep facing up. When they wake up, the guy on the left says "I had an awesome dream I got a h**...."
The guy on the right says "I had the same dream."
The guy in the middle says "I had a dream I went skiing."

A priest, a drunkard, and an engineer are taken to the guillotine...

On a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the midst of the French Revolution the revolting citizens led a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. They ask the priest if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest says he would like to face up so he will be looking towards heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.
The drunkard comes to the guillotine next. He also decides to die face up, hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. Again, the authorities take this as a sign of divine intervention, and they release the drunkard as well.
Next is the engineer. He, too, decides to die facing up. As they slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, the engineer suddenly says, "Hey, I see what your problem is ..."

A guy goes to a fortune teller...

The fortune teller looks at him and says, "Tonight you will have great s**..., but it will impregnate your partner."
The guy, not ready to be a father, says, "Is there any way to undo this fate?"
The fortune teller replies, "You can't un-fortune-nut-lay."

High school math teachers true-love story....

After being separated for years by cruel fate, the two star-crossed lovers raced towards each other like two freight trains... one leaving Cleveland at 6:30pm and traveling south at 55mph and the other having left Topeka at 4:15pm heading east at 35mph...

What's the difference between a near death experience and a b**...?

One is ducking fate and the other is a...

A cop pulled a car over, with a driver that matched a description of a thief. Turns out the guy was not too smart.

The cop had a basic description of the thief, but seeing the matching tattoo, would seal this guys fate. The tattoo would be located on the guys forearm.
The cop says, "show me your forearms"
The driver looks confused
The cop gets louder, "show me your forearms!!"
The driver looks confused, and says, "I only have two"

A kid tells his mom about a video game

The kid says to his mom about a game, and he's on the final level, level 6**....
The mom gets angry and says Isn't that the devil's number? Quit the game now!
So the son says I guess it was *FATE* that brought us to this point

The leaders of the Big Three after the conference in Yalta

After WW2 in 1945 the leaders of the Big Three(USA, UK and the Soviet Union) respectively Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin met in Yalta for a conference to decide the fate of the world.
After the conference they wanted to have some fun. They decided to try and make the Persian cat in the residence to eat mustard.
Churchill started first. He took a silver spoon with some mustard and tried his best to feed the cat but failed.
-You british people don't understand, it should be done with democracy - said Roosevelt.
He took some chicken and put some mustard on it. The cat sniffed for a moment but walked away with no interest in the food he offered.
Without any hesitation Stalin took the cat and started to spread mustard on the fluffy tail. The cat started meowing loudly and lickеd the tail to wash out the mustard. Meowed and licked, meowed and licked... Then Stalin said wisely:
-That's how we do everything in our country, voluntarily and with a song.

Playing with fate

In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. Will I die? she asks.
God says, No. You have 30 more years to live.
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. Since she's in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she's discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. You said I had 30 more years to live, she complains.
That's true, says God.
So what happened? she asks.
God shrugs. I didn't recognize you.

What does a carrot say when it gets picked?

Nothing.
It can only silently scream into the abyss.
It has no mouth, yet it surely must have screamed when it was ripped from its comfortable life to face the cold, uncaring winds of its fate. It was a sheep to the s**....
And aren't we?
As a species, we have no other goal than continuation: eat, drink, sleep, reproduce, die. We are destined to die and to feel the unfeeling embrace of the void, and we have no escape.
Like the lamb, or the carrot, we are destined for the void.

Maria finally met her fate.

Maria, got married and had 15 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children. A few weeks back her second husband died, Maria also passed away yesterday.
Today, I was at Maria's f**...... The priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together."
Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?"
The priest replied, "No dear, I mean her legs.

Fate joke, So an orca's prey tried to escape

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these fate jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.