The Best 34 Fatal Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Fatal jokes. There are some fatal worthy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these fatal injuries puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Fatal Jokes and Puns

A young couple dies on their way to their wedding....

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in Heaven.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer.... for a couple of months.
While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all?
What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?'
Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled.
Yes,' he informed the couple, 'You can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple. 'But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.
'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!!!' St. Peter shouted. 'It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?

As she lay there in screaming agony...

As she lay there in screaming agony, her body covered in fatal burns, Superman knew this was the first and last time he would try to undress a woman with his eyes.

BREAKING NEWS: Bruce Willis had a fatal heart attack while he was having sex...

He is said to have died hard

Fatal joke, BREAKING NEWS: Bruce Willis had a fatal heart attack while he was having sex...

Which villain did Batman face when he suffered a fatal masturbation accident?

Deathstroke.

Did you hear about the cabriolet driver who caused a fatal accident?

He was driving roof-less.


Did you hear about the guy who ate so many creole sausages that he had a fatal heart attack?

They were his andouille-ing.

[I'll see myself out...]

FAA study of black boxes found in domestic US, fatal, small airplane crashes shows 98% say "may day"

remaining 2% are pilots from Tennessee who say, "hey good buddy, hold my beer and watch this"

Fatal joke, FAA study of black boxes found in domestic US, fatal, small airplane crashes shows 98% say "may day"

My mother's star sign was cancer. Ironic how she died, really.

She died due to fatal injuries from a giant crab attack.

Slightly over half of marriages end in divorce...

... the rest are fatal.

Singer Adele was rushed to the hospital after a fatal car accident

Paramedics said they found her rolling in the jeep.

What was the ancient punishment for smoking fatal levels of weed?

You would be stoned to death.

You can explore fatal lethal reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean fatal died dad jokes. There are also fatal puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's Fat Albert's super villain alias?

Fatal Bert.

A Polish man read...

That 90% of fatal auto accidents happen within 10 miles of home. As the father of two teenage drivers, he picked up and moved the family 25 miles away to be extra safe.

3 Brazilian

A blonde was listening to the radio when suddenly she heard "3 Brazilian men died in a fatal car accident." The woman then asked, "How much is a Brazilian?"

Dark humor is like a child with a fatal disease

It never gets old

I slept through a burglary once and it was a fatal mistake.

Next thing I knew I was being thrown in a police van.

Fatal joke, I slept through a burglary once and it was a fatal mistake.

Changing a "C" to a "G" can have fatal consequences...

because some Clockwork suddenly turns into a drive-by shooting.

Did you guys hear about Mickey Mouse's fatal flaw with his helicopter design?

Disneyland

We lost a brave soldier today, died from a fatal wound to the aorta...

But he did not die in vein.


Did you hear about Stephen Hawking?

His computer suffered a fatal error.

A newlywed couple got into a fatal car crash.

At least they smashed in the end.

My friends and I have a lot of fun riding jet skis That time we had a fatal crash on the coast was especially hilarious.

We littorally died.

After a fatal river rise, what did the commander beaver say to all the other beavers?

Dam it.

David Carradine , An American actor and martial Artist died due fatal autoerotic asphyxiation accident .

I guess you can say that ,

*Puts on Sunglasses*

He Died Hard!

Gary Numan's tour bus was involved in a fatal accident.

I would have expected him to have an accident in Cars.

A fatalistic, Newton determinalist, and Calvinist walk into a bar

As was expected.

My doctor told me I'm a hypochondriac

I think it's fatal

You know you are worthless when even death rejects you

People who survive fatal accidents are rejected even by the University of Death which has the highest acceptance rate of all Universities.

A lady goes to the doctor...

The doctor uses a stethoscope to measure the heartbeat of the lady and immediately discovered something strange.

Doctor: I'm sorry to say this but it's fatal and you do not have long to live

Lady: How long?

Doctor: Ten

Lady: Ten? Ten what?!

Doctor: Nine...

As she lay there in screaming agony...

her body covered in fatal burns, Superman knew this was the first and last time he would try to undress a woman with his eyes.

The Floor is Lava would have been a great game

But it has a fatal floor.

My father died of a fatal heart attack at a massage parlor last night

I'm told he came and went at the same time

A man working on an imaginary high voltage transformer was found dead in his home.

He had apparently received a fatal shock from the fictitious device.

Investigators who later examined it concluded that this was because it was not grounded in reality.

According to statistics, 80% of all fatal plane crashes happen in the first 3 or last 8 minutes of the flight.

But according to even more precise statistics, 100% of all fatal plane crashes happen within the last 0.1 seconds of the fight.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the fatal deathly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working fatal mortal piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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