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Fat Kid Jokes

61 fat kid jokes and hilarious fat kid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fat kid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Fat Kid Short Jokes

Short fat kid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fat kid humour may include short fat guy jokes also.

  1. My mom just posted in our family group: "It's our fat ones birthday today!" She is referring to our cat.
    10 minutes later, I get a message from my dad: "Happy birthday kid."
  2. Everybody made fun of how I lost a race to the fat kid in school. If only my wheelchair was faster.
  3. A kid gets slapped by his neighbor, and the mother is angry and goes to find out why Why did you hit my kid?
    He called me fat!


    So you think you will get slimmer if you hit him?
  4. What did the Physics professor say to the fat kid in school? "You've got a lot of potential!"
  5. My wife gave birth 4 times and still fits in her prom dress from high school.
    I gave birth 0 times and I don't fit in my pants from March.
  6. Did you hear about the fat kid who got mad when his heelys broke? Apparently a lot was riding on them..
  7. What did the Math Teacher say to the fat kid who could not get in his seat? Squeeze yourself in with the Squeeze Theorem.
  8. Doctor: "Well, it looks like you're pregnant."
    Woman: "Oh my God, I'm pregnant?!"
    Doctor: "No, it just looks like you are."
  9. Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
  10. When I was young, I used to eat a lot because my parents told me that fat kids are harder to kidnap.

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Fat Kid One Liners

Which fat kid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fat kid? I can suggest the ones about fat boy and fat friend.

  1. What did the fat kid get for his Birthday? Bullied
  2. What's a fat kids favourite instrument? The dinner bell
  3. Three kids walk into a Pole He was very fat.
  4. A butcher married a baker and had a kid who grew up to be what? Fat.
  5. Played rounders with a guy that abused fat kids. He was a big hitter.
  6. A fat kid had his lvl 100 gaming account raided and deleted. It was quite un-4chan-ate.
  7. What do you call 10 fat kids walking down a road? Skittles.
  8. I'm not saying I've got a fat kid. But she only blows raspberries if it comes with cream.
  9. Why didn't the fat kid get along with other kids? Because he didn't fit in
  10. What did the cake say to the fat kid I am nutritious
  11. What do you call a fat kid with 3 teeth and a lazy eye? Names.
  12. What is it? What's black and blue and doesn't like s**...?
    The fat kid in my trunk.
  13. A dad puts his kids down for bedtime He says, "You're fat and s**...!"
  14. I used to rip it out of the fat kids. Then I lost my job in liposuction.
  15. What did the kid say to the fat atheist bully ?

Unearthly Funniest Fat Kid Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about fat kid you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fat husband jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fat kid pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.

A traveling salesman rings this doorbell.


10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar.
The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"

Two starving cannibals, a father and son, were out trying to get something to eat.


They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.
Before long, along came a little old man.
The son said, "Oh Dad, there’s one."
"No," said the father. "There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait."
A little while later, along came a really fat man.
The son said, "Hey dad, he’s big enough."
"No," the father said. "We’d all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We’ll just wait."
About an hour later, there came this absolutely gorgeous woman.
The son said, "Now there’s nothing wrong with that one Dad, let’s eat her."
"No," said the father. "Were not going to eat her either."
"Why not?" asked the son.
"Because, we’re going to take her back alive, and eat your mother."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.


She is now known as Britney Spears.

If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds.


There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A man is diagnosed with a terminal illness...

He goes to his friend who is also a doctor for a second opinion.
Doctor says, "I've reviewed the test results- You've only got about 6 months left to live." The man says, "Doc give it to me strait is there anything I can do?!" Doc says, "As a your doctor or as your friend?" - "as a friend, doc."
This is what the doctor told him...
"If I was you, I'd move to North Dakota- Marry a fat German woman with a pig farm and 7 kids."
...
"What will that do, Doc? Will that cure me?"
He says, "No, but it will be the longest 6 months of your life."

A short collection of jokes....

Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon!
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Kid: homework!!!
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
Why is there no mexican olympics? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder..
Q: Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
A: Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off.
Boy:say me
Girl:me
Boy: you forgot the d
Girl: there's no d in me
Boy: not yet there isnt :)
One day while in a bank, an old lady asked if i could help her check her balance... so i pushed her over
Failed my biology test today:
They asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"
Apparently "black people" wasnt the correct answer
Enjoy and post some funny ones i can havea laugh at...

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I feel bad for Kim-Jong Un

It's hard being the fat kid in high school, so it must be really difficult being the only fat kid in the country.

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Pregnant Woman

There was this little kid who had a bad habit of s**... his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop s**... his thumb, he'd get fat.
Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Which kid?

Wife: Honey, i think you don't love our kids equally. It seems you have one that gets less love from you.
Husband: Really? Which kid do you mean? Karl, Tina or the fat one

A man was walking in a park..

when suddenly he noticed his watch wasn't on his wrist. While looking for it, he saw a man stepping on what seemed to be his watch, while simultaneously making fun of a fat kid. So he punched the man square in the face. "No one makes fun of fat kids" he said, "not on my watch".

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

"honey don't you think you're treating one of our kids unfairly?"

"who? Tim, Felix or the fat one?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why did the fat kid buy his black friend some shorts?

Because that boy sure loves brown knees

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Kids have the lowest standards

Everything is about b**... their friends moms even though their mamas are so fat that when she skips a meal, the stock market crashes

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Got myself one of those anti-bullying wristbands today

Nicked it off a fat ginger kid with glasses on

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Wife: "Honey, I think you're a little to harsh to one of our kids."

Husband: "Who do you mean? John, Michael or the fat one?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

"Bevky I feel like you're treating one of your kids worse than the others"

"What ? Which one do you mean ? Tommy, Lisa or the fat one ?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

*WATCH OUT EVERYONE SAVAGE MEN ON THE STREETS!*

Old single fat man.
He wears red, he watches kids sleeping gives them toys and has a list of every kid!
Please parents watch out!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Your momma's so fat....

She saw a yellow bus full of white kids and screamed "FOLLOW THAT t**...!!!"
god i miss middle school

Three boys are bragging about their dads

The first kid says: "My father is a cop. When people talk to him, they have to call him 'officer'."
The second kid: "I can do better. My father is a judge, and when people see him, they have to say 'Your honour'."
The third kid: "That's nothing! My father is immensely fat, and when people see him, they say 'Oh my God...'"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My wife said that I always treat my kid unfairly.

I don't even know which one she means, Tommy, Tina or the fat ugly one.

jokes about fat kid