Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.
Because elephants never forget
O B C D...
"And I love you tons" I replied.
"Wow fine, you don't have a nickname for me?" She said angrily.
Sometimes I swear the fat cunt's going deaf.
Because last time they had a fat man 80,000 people died
she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops
I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas.
I'm tired of being fat every day.
If she fits in your wife's clothes.
Thanos had to snap twice.
Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty and quiet female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat, sweaty, old slob who looks like a sexual deviant!
The captain responds, You must be new here. This is Air Force One.
because she doesn't like when people steal her material.
They order drinks, in a thick accent.
"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.
Offended, one of them replies "Wales!"
"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"
They have enough on their plate anyway.
They're thick and tired of it
because they remember what the last fat man did to them
A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Now I have spring rolls
He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"
So I replied "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair"
She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars.
Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
Despite the bulging eyes, wrinkles and layers of fat, the pug seemed to like her.
A four chin teller.
yo mamas so fat when she fell down no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up
..that she ate a meal and got arrested for deforestation.
If you call a girl fat, she'll never forget it, because elephants never forget.
They had obviously been drinking a lot, and were speaking loudly with heavy accents. After an hour he becomes annoyed with the noise, walks over to them and asks, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but are you two ladies from Scotland?"
"Wales, you idiot!", shouts the fattest one.
"I'm sorry," he says. "Are you two whales from Scotland?"
because they measure their wealth in pounds
A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!".
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?".
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now!".
She starts to fit into your wife's clothes.
I pictured her in my head and broke my neck.
I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,
"For extra body and volume."
No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads
"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."
Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.
no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
They don't like Fat Man and Little Boy
in front of a mirror and she wasn't happy with what she saw.
She said, "I'm fat and I am ugly I really need a compliment right now."
To which I replied, "Well your eyesight is near perfect..."
They have enough on their plate already.
Her favorite jewellery is the food chain
there's people on the internet who believe she's flat, not round.
when she sat on a memory foam it forgot
I pity the stool!
Because marches would definitely solve the problem.
and I saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
I said "Wow, great legs."
She giggled and said "Really?"
I said "Yea, most tables would've collapsed by now."
FAT and 16.
A woman looks into the mirror and says to her husband: "I feel fat, old and ugly, give me a compliment". The man replies: "Your eyes are still working great".
you know, like has she become all fat and bloated, or has she become disgustingly skinny; or maybe someone has already found the body.
A woman threatens her boyfriend :
"If you won't stop telling me that I'm fat, I'm going to leave you !"
- "Don't do this darling ! Think about our child !" says the boyfriend, trying to convince her to stay.
- "But we **don't** have any child !" eructs the woman.
- "Wait, what ? You're not 8 months pregnant ?"
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
I said to a fat girl today,
"You're a big girl!"
She replied, "Tell me something I don't know."
I said, "Salad tastes nice"
I swerved to miss her and ran out of gas
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
They just want to get into your pantries.
Heavy infantry
'All I see is a fat, ugly woman, can you say something nice about me to make me feel better'
'Of course' I replied 'Your eyesight is perfect'
It's really great how they notice my effort.
Because she's thick and tired of it.
Piece of cake!
I told him "It'll be okay, just keep your chins up".
Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, the dog really seems to like her.
Husband: "Who do you mean? John, Michael or the fat one?"
You are bigger than that.
Husband: "Right"
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