fat Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious fat puns

Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she won't think twice...

Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Your mom is so fat

Your mom is so fat that, a group of people started believing that your mom is actually flat.

[EDIT] OMG, thanks for the Platinum

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"...

O B C D...

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Wife: Does this dress make me look fat? Me: You promise not to get mad no matter what i say? Wife: Yes

Me: I fucked your sister

πŸ‘πŸΌ

"I love you lots snuggles" said my girlfriend

"And I love you tons" I replied.
"Wow fine, you don't have a nickname for me?" She said angrily.
Sometimes I swear the fat cunt's going deaf.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I've had enough of Christmas. All year long I work my fingers to the bone to buy all the presents that my kids ask for and what happens Christmas morning? That fat fucker with the beard gets all the credit for it!

Still I suppose it was my fault for marrying her.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Why is Japan the healthiest country in the world?

Because last time they had a fat man 80,000 people died

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Yo mama's so fat

she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Yo mama so fat. . .

I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Women's ass size study

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses and the results were pretty interesting.

30% of women think their ass is too fat,
10% of women think their ass is too skinny,
The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he is a good man, and wouldn't trade him for the world

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I wish I could see what it was like to be fat for just one day.

I'm tired of being fat every day.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

How can you tell if your girlfriend is getting too fat?

If she fits in your wife's clothes.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Yo mama so fat

Thanos had to snap twice.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

On a flight back from Russia, a flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the captain immediately…

Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty and quiet female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat, sweaty, old slob who looks like a sexual deviant!

The captain responds, You must be new here. This is Air Force One.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A man and his wife were getting dressed for a big event. After putting on her dress, she asked her husband, "does this dress make my ass look fat?"

The husband sighed, and asked his wife, "Honey, do you promise me you won't get mad, no matter how I answer?"

His wife said, "I promise, I'll never bring it up again."

The husband looked her over and said, "I fucked your sister."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Amy Schumer gets mad when people describe her as fat, slutty, and disgusting..

because she doesn't like when people steal her material.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Two fat ladies walk into a bar

They order drinks, in a thick accent.

"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.

Offended, one of them replies "Wales!"

"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Women say their number one fear of online dating is the guy will be a serial killer. Men say their number one fear is the woman will be fat.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Stop bullying fat people, it isn't funny

They have enough on their plate anyway.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp, she's probably thick and tired of it.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Don't make fun of fat people with lisps...

They're thick and tired of it

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Why is Japan afraid of Kim Jong-un?

because they remember what the last fat man did to them

πŸ‘πŸΌ

How to be insulting

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.

He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"

She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"

The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Finally my winter fat is gone

Now I have spring rolls

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I went to the doctors with hearing problems...

He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"
So I replied "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Swear you won't get mad

* Her: Do these pants make me look fat?
* Him: Do you swear you won't get mad if I tell you the truth?
* Her: I won't get mad, honey. You can tell me.
* Him: I'm fucking your sister.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Yo momma is so fat ...

She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you.

Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I bought a pug for my wife.

Despite the bulging eyes, wrinkles and layers of fat, the pug seemed to like her.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four chin teller.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

My wife is so fat that when she booked a flight they made her have 2 seats.

She was pissed off until I mentioned that she would get 2 meals

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she'll never notice. Call a girl fat once and she'll never forget it.

Because elephants never forget.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

My 7 Year Old Cousin just told me this

yo mamas so fat when she fell down no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up

πŸ‘πŸΌ

If you call a girl pretty, she'll forget after a day.

If you call a girl fat, she'll never forget it, because elephants never forget.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A man walks into a bar and notices two fat women.

They had obviously been drinking a lot, and were speaking loudly with heavy accents. After an hour he becomes annoyed with the noise, walks over to them and asks, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but are you two ladies from Scotland?"

"Wales, you idiot!", shouts the fattest one.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Are you two whales from Scotland?"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What are the most funny Fat jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Fat? Well, here are the best Fat dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Fat pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes