Fat Cow Jokes
55 fat cow jokes and hilarious fat cow puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fat cow that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Fat Cow Short Jokes
Short fat cow jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fat cow humour may include short fat pig jokes also.
- My daughter came home from school yesterday and told us this joke: What do you get from a fat cow? Homework.
- A teacher asks her student Teacher: What does a Bee gives us?
Student: Honey
Teacher: What does a cow gives us?
Student: Milk
Teacher: What does a fat pig gives us?
Student: Homework - A teacher asked her students. "What does the little chicken give you?"
The students replied, "Eggs"
"What does the round pig give you?"
"Bacon"
"What does the fat cow give you?"
"Homework" - At School: What Does It Give You? Kids, what does the chicken give you?
Meat!
Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Bacon!
Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Homework! - You are what you eat... What you thought I'm a cannibal?
No, I'm just explaining why your mom is a fat cow! - What's the difference between a fat cow and your mother? People will actually eat the cow.
- "Honey, wouldn't you like to go back to the 60s?" "Of course not! I like today's technology too much."
"But honey I'm talking about kilos you fat cow" - My wife and visiting mother-in-law got mad at me when my son looked at the turkey and said.... "Dad. Where's the fat cow you said we would be serving for dinner?".
- Yo momma so fat... That I would compare her to a cow but my religon prohibits me from comparing a horrid beast to such a sacred animal.
- How can fat women do running jumps farther than skinny people? Because cows are aerodynamic.
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Fat Cow One Liners
Which fat cow one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fat cow? I can suggest the ones about fat chick and fat cat.
- What is the medical term for a fat cow? Morbidly o-beef
- My wife likes to tell me she is worshipped in india... She's a fat cow.
- I bet you are a Taurus... because you are a fat cow.
- Why are cows lazy and fat? Because they don't like to mooooooooooooove.
- Where do you find 100 fat cows? At bingo
- Yo mama so fat that I would insult her, but cows are sacred where I come from.
- Why did the cow dump her fat boyfriend? She didn't like his mooooobs
- What do you call a fat cow..? Your mum
- I don't buy fat-free milk because I don't want to contribute to cows having body issues.
- Your momma so fat You a bull
And she a cow - Teacher: "what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
- Your momma's so fat That when she goes to church people say: Holy Cow!
- What do you get when you breed a d**... and a fat cow? Your mother-in-law
Witty Fat Cow Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about fat cow you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fat dog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fat cow pranks.
A man and a woman go out to dinner...
This is during the time the Mad Cow disease ravished Britain. A man and a woman are sitting at a table when the waiter approaches them, asking "what would you like for dinner?"
The man replies, I'll have a fat juicy steak, medium rare with all the trimmings. Gravy and roast potatoes please. The waiter asks "what about the mad cow?"
To which the man replies
"Nahh she'll just have fish"
Man goes to a petrol station.
It's night time and one of those serving hatches. Talks to the girl. Can I have a can of coke and a Kit kat Chunky?
Off the girl goes to get his stuff. "There you go," she says, "One can of coke and a KitKat Chunky."
"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal Kitkat, you fat cow."
Supposedly this joke was rated the funniest joke in a survey of British people...
Patient: Doctor, last night, I made Freudian slip. I was sitting at the dinner table next to my mother-in-law. I turned to her and I meant to say,"Please pass the salt", but instead I said "You fat cow, you've ruined my life".
A teacher is teaching.
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
(sorry for the TERRIBLE title)
The fat cow
Teacher: Okay children, what does the chicken give you?
Children: "EGGS!!!!"
Teacher: Very good. What about the pig? What does the pig give you?
Children: "BACONS!!!!!"
Teacher: Oh wow, im impressed. What about the fat cow? What does the fat cow give you?
Children: "HOMEWORKS!!!!!"
Fat cow
Teacher is teaching kids
Teacher: what does the chicken give you?
Student: meat!
Teacher: what does the pig give you?
Student: bacon!
Teacher: what does the fat cow give you?
Student: HOMEWORK!!
What does the fat cow give you?
Teacher: "Kids,what does the little chicken give you?"
Student: "Eggs!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the squealy pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
A fat r**... went to a doctor to check on his heart condition.
The doctor advised him to stop eating meat with high fat contents, while low fat meat are still OK to eat. The r**... was confused which are which, so the doctor gave simple explanation; "You may only eat animal which swims in the water, like fishes for example."
A week later, the doctor went to the r**... house to check on him. The doctor found him around a pool in the back of his trailer. The doctor asked "What are you doing here?". r**... answered "Oh hi mister doctor, I'm just teachin ma cow to swim."
Doctor, I messed up.
A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?' But instead I said: 'You fat cow, you have completely ruined my life!"
A first grade teacher was trying to teach her students about animals
She said "What does the fat Cow give us?"
Her students shouted out "Milk!" Unanimously.
She then said "Well done! Now, what does the fluffy chicken give us?"
Her students responded with "Eggs!"
She then said "Good work! Now for the last question. What does the big pig give us?"
Her students paused for a moment and they all shouted "Homework!"
Teacher: "What can you get from a chicken?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
A teacher was quizzing Johnny on farm animals
Teacher: "Johnny, what does the chicken give you?"
Johnny: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Johnny: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Johnny: "Homework!"
School
What does the chicken give us?
*Eggs*
What does the pig give us?
*Bacon*
What does the fat cow give us?
*Homework*
Teacher: Kids, what do you get from the chicken?
Kids: Eggs!
Teacher: Very good! Now what do you get from the fat pig?
Kids: Bacon!
Teacher: Great! And what do you get from the fat cow?
Little Johnny: Homework!
The boy was upset when he came home from school...
Mom I was sent home from school.
Why is that? ask the concerned mom.
First the teacher asked what you get from sheep. I said wool. Then she asked what you get from a pig. I said bacon. Then she asked what you get from a fat cow. I said homework.
The girlfriend announced...
"I love you lots, snuggles."
"And I love you tons." I replied.
"Oh, I see." She said, in a huff. "You've got no nickname for me, then?"
Sometimes I swear the fat cow's going deaf.
Teacher
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now, what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Two guys chatting at the bar....
One says, "I committed an embarrassing faux pas this morning. Went to the travel agency to buy some plane tickets. The young girl had the most spectacular b**... and I accidentally asked for two plane-t**..." His mate replies, "Oh yes. I did the exact same thing this morning. Went to ask my wife to pass the corn-flakes and accidentally said, "You fat cow, you've totally ruined my life"'
Teacher asks..
Teacher: what does the bee gives you?
Students: honeybee
Teacher: what does the tree gives you?
Students: shadow and fruits
Teacher: what does the fat cow gives you?
Students: homework
An Englishman, a Welshman, and an Irishman take their wives to breakfast
Tea is served
Trying to be cute the English man says to his wife
Would you like some sugar, sugar?
The Welshman trying to follow suit says to his wife
Would you like some honey, honey?
The Irishman refusing to be outdone says to his wife:
Would you like some milk, you fat fecking cow?
A big fat Texan goes to a ranch to pick out some cattle.
The owner lines them up and the buyer walks down the line until he sees one he likes.
He pulls out two pieces of bread and stuffs them in the cow's ears.
"Hey! .. What are you doing?" asks the owner. "Stop that!"
The Texan replies, "I can make my sandwich any d**... way I want!"
