Fat And Bald Jokes

14 fat and bald jokes and hilarious fat and bald puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fat and bald that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Fat And Bald Short Jokes

Short fat and bald jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fat and bald humour may include short bald jokes also.

  1. Doctor, my hearing is getting worse... - Can you explain the symtoms?
    - Well, Homer is fat, bald and ugly; Bart is...
  2. Prayers before going on a blind date Woman : oh god, I just hope he is not a serial killer,psychopath,needy, incel, stalker, poor,balding, ...
    Man : god , don't let her be fat..
  3. Most successful personal ad in the UK ever Old, fat, bald, poor man seeks woman. HAVE AIR CON
    Turns out there are hundreds of woman in my area who want to meet me right now!
  4. I went into a mirror shop. I said, "I wanna buy a mirror, you fat, bald, ugly man!" He said, "I'm over here, sir!"

Share These Fat And Bald Jokes With Friends

Fat And Bald One Liners

Which fat and bald one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fat and bald? I can suggest the ones about bald headed and bald head.

  1. A fat friend said baldness runs in his family I replied with nothing runs in your family
  2. What do you get when you cross Louis Vuitton with Calvin Klein? A bald fat ginger.

Heartwarming Fat And Bald Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about fat and bald you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean balding hair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fat and bald pranks.

Will You Still Love Me???

Ah, marriage. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years: Will you still love me when I'm old, fat, and balding?
She answered, I do.

Photo Album

A young boy was looking through
the family album and asked his
mother, "Is this you on the beach?
Mother says "Yes, it is"
Son asks "Who's this guy with you with all the
muscles and curly hair?"
"That's your father."
"Then who's that old bald-headed
fat man who lives with us now?"

Ever since my daughter was born people have said, "She looks just like you!"

I'm not sure how to take that. I think -- maybe -- they're trying to be nice? But they've literally just said, "Hey, your little girl looks just like a fat, balding middle aged man."

The job interviewer asked me, what my weakness is.

So I told him that I am brutally honest.
He acted surprised and said he sees this as a strenght, not as a weakness.
But after that I was thrown out of the building only because I replied that I am not interested in the opinion of an incapable fat bald man.

I told this girl that people often tell me I could be Arnold Schwarzenegger's twin.

"I don't think so," she laughed, "You're fat, bald, don't work out, and are much too short!"
"I know.... Danny DeVito."

The old dentist

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which showed his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could this be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.
"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang," he beamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1959. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald wrinkled, fat, gray, decrepit son-of-a-gun asked, "What did you teach?"