Fasting Jokes
42 fasting jokes and hilarious fasting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fasting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out this lighthearted collection of fasting jokes from different faiths and cultures around the world. Learn about the various types of fasting - from Christian, Ramadan, Yom Kippur, to even dietary fasting - and have a laugh as you explore the lighter side of dietary haram and burkas.
Quick Jump To
- Short Fasting Jokes
- Fasting One Liners
- Ramadan Fasting Jokes
- Christian Fasting Jokes
- Intermittent Fasting Jokes
- More Fasting Jokes
Funniest Fasting Short Jokes
Short fasting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fasting humour may include short man fasted jokes also.
- Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math" Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"
Interviewer: "Whats 14x27"
Me: "49"
Interviewer: "that's not even close"
me: "yeah, but it was fast" - My husband said our infant son could microwave... And then shook his arm really fast.
(True story, please groan with me.) - Everyone told me smoking kills, I had no idea how fast. My dad went to get his first pack of cigarettes ever and I never saw him again.
- In a safety meeting at work they asked me what steps I'd take in a fire Apparently "Really big and fast ones" was the wrong answer.
- Everyone knows about Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.. But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer.
He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high..he just couldn't stop as fast. - Interviewer: What's your biggest strength? Me: I'm a fast learner.
Interviewer: What's 11 * 11?
Me: 65.
Interviewer: Not even close. It's 121.
Me: It's 121. - I went to a restaurant. It was full; no place to sit...
I took out my mobile,
Placed it to my ear and said loudly- "Bro come fast, she's here with someone else...
Six couples ran away - What's the difference between COVID-19 and your mom? COVID-19 doesn't spread *nearly* as fast.
- It's amazing how removing letters from something changes things so fast For instance, if you remove enough letters from 'mailbox' you get 'felony'
- So they just announced the title to the tenth fast and furious movie.. Fast10: Your Seatbelts.
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Fasting One Liners
Which fasting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fasting? I can suggest the ones about dieting and starvation.
- What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.
- The 10th Fast and Furious film should be called.... Fast 10 Your Seat Belt.
- Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother… Sudden Lee
- I've calculated the name for the next Fast & Furious movie... Fast 10: Your Seatbelts
- Him: "I drive like lightning" Her: "So you drive fast?" Him: "No, I hit trees."
- Why do French people eat snails? Because they don't like fast food.
- During Ramadan, Sonic the hedgehog is a Muslim Because he's gotta go fast.
- What's fast and the furious 10 going to be called? Fast 10: your seatbelts
- When is the best time for Muslims to run a race? Ramadan. They fast during Ramadan.
- What's blue and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A really fast apple.
- Why do they eat snail in France? Because they don't have fast food.
- If slow old men use walking sticks, what do fast old men use ? Hurry canes.
- What does Muslim sonic say when ramadan begins. Gotta go fast!
- They recently announced the title for Fast and furious 10 Fast 10:your seatbelts
- Why do the French like to eat snails so much? They can't stand fast food
Ramadan Fasting Jokes
Here is a list of funny ramadan fasting jokes and even better ramadan fasting puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the Muslim run over the pedestrians during Ramadan? He couldn't brake fast
- I'm done with Ramadan! Other muslims are still fasting, but I was faster.
Eid Mubarak! - What does sonic say during Ramadan? Gotta go fast
- Do you only eat Mcdonalds during Ramadan? -No why?
Because its fast food. - What did Sonic the Hedgehog say during Ramadan? Got to go fast!
- Muslim countries would do so well if the Olympic were during ramadan. Because they really fast
- Why couldn't the police catch Muslims during Ramadan? They were going to fast.
- I asked a man in a turban why he wasn't fasting He told me you don't have to fast for Ramadan if you are Sikh.
- Two individuals decide to spend Ramadan together... They were fast friends!
- How did Ramadan go? It went by pretty FAST!
Christian Fasting Jokes
Here is a list of funny christian fasting jokes and even better christian fasting puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the characters from Fifty Shades of Grey get into a fight about fast food? They couldn't agree where to go. Christian wanted Domino's, but Ana insisted on Subway!
Intermittent Fasting Jokes
Here is a list of funny intermittent fasting jokes and even better intermittent fasting puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Ever heard of the latest intermittent fasting fad trending around the world? Ramadan
Hilarious Fasting Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about fasting you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean starving jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fasting pranks.
Fasting isn't expected of Muslims until they reach puberty. This means that absolutely all Muslim children...
...grow up to fast
Two atheists were lost in a desert.
Two atheists were lost in a desert. They had run out of supplies and were wandering aimlessly.
One morning, they encountered a Muslim. The Muslim asked, "What are your names?"
The first, figuring the Muslim would be more likely to help a fellow Muslim, lied and said, "My name is Mohammed."
The second stayed honest and said, "My name is Dave."
The Muslim gave Dave a hearty breakfast. He turned to "Mohammed" and said, "Fasting is so hard, isn't it?"
Mahatma Ghandi never wore shoes...
Gandhi never wore shoes, and so his feet were always covered in loads of callouses and blisters. And because he never ate food, he was always very frail. Furthermore his fasting caused him to have horrible breath. So...
I guess you could say he was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
Ghandi spent a lot of time fasting in his life, which made him thin and frail. He chose not to wear shoes often, so when he walked, he toughened up his feet. Rarely did he brush his teeth.
That makes him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
So Gandhi wandered the desert barefoot and had hard, worn feet...
He was very thin from fasting often, his followers considered him prophetic, and because of his fasting and strange diet had chronic bad breath.
In short, you could say he was a
Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
The benefits of F***ing
1.F***ing once a week is good for your health, but it's harmful if done every day.
2. F***ing relaxes your mind and body.
3. F***ing refreshes you.
4. After F***ing, don't eat too much; go for more liquids.
5. Try F***ing in bed 'cause it can save you valuable energy.
6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol levels.
SO, REMEMBER ..
Fasting is good for your health
I started a new diet this week. I now abstain from eating any food while I put my mittens on in the winter.
I call it inter-mitten fasting.
While climbing barefoot up mountains to meditate, Ghandi would squeeze garlic into his mouth to deal with hunger pains from fasting
super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis
How does Bernie Sanders stay so slim?
Inter-mitten fasting.
Two monks werewere discussing humility.
"I have been praying and fasting, meditating and studying religion for 20 years. I have finally reached the level of humility. I am truly a nothing." said one monk.
The other monk nodded gravely. "I too have spent my life devoted to serving God. I am also a nothing."
At that moment a janitor passed, holding his mop. Overhearing the conversation, and feeling quite spiritual, he interrupted. "You know what, i am also a nothing."
The monks looked away in disgust. "Who the h**... does he think he is to be a nothing???"
My friend was cranky from fasting all day for Yom Kippur yesterday.
I'm sure it will Passover.
F***ING !
1) F***ing once a week is good for your health, but it is harmful if done everyday
2) F***ing relaxes your mind & body
3) F***ing refreshes you
4) After F***ing don't eat too much go for more liquids
5)Try F***ing in bed cause it can save your valuable energy
6) F***ing can reduce your cholesterol level
So remember FASTING is good for your health.
GOD BLESS YOUR DIRTY MIND :
Fasting.
What a Jamaican calls Sonic the Hedgehog
