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Fastest Jokes

116 fastest jokes and hilarious fastest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fastest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Fastest Short Jokes

Short fastest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fastest humour may include short quickest jokes also.

  1. What is the fastest way to become sober? Touching your pockets and not feeling your phone.
  2. Why does Ireland have the fastest growing economy in the world? Because its capital is Dublin all the time!
  3. Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in the universe? Before you see it, it's already pasteurized
  4. What country's Capital has the fastest growing population in the world? Ireland. Everyday it's Dublin.
  5. Who were the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. Went through 87 stories in 10 seconds flat.
  6. Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims because they went through 104 stories in just a few seconds
  7. What is the fastest way to become a millionaire? Step 1: become a billionaire.
    Step 2: buy an EA game.
  8. Who are the fastest readers ? 9/11 victims, they went through 64 stories in just 8 seconds
  9. Which type of people are the world's fastest readers [DARK HUMOUR] 9/11 victims. They went through more than 50 stories in 10 seconds.
  10. What is the fastest thing in the world? Milk.
    Because it's pasteurised before you see it.

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Fastest One Liners

Which fastest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fastest? I can suggest the ones about slowest and faster.

  1. What's the fastest liquid on Earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.
  2. Which country has the fastest growing capitol? Ireland. It's Dublin every year.
  3. What's the fastest way to earn money as a photographer? By selling your camera.
  4. Fastest Bolt at the Olympics? Was it Usain Bolt or Ryan Lochte's ride to the airport?
  5. What's the name of the fastest Chinese online game player? Lo Ping
  6. What is the fastest way to get a small fortune? Start with a large one
  7. What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds? Exit the european Union.
  8. Milk is the fastest liquid It's pasteurized before you've even seen it
  9. What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist? By selling your guitar.
  10. Ireland is the fastest growing country Their population is Dublin every day.
  11. The fastest way to quit being vegan is... Cold turkey
  12. Why is milk the fastest liquid? Because its pasteurised before you see it
  13. The capital of Ireland is the world's fastest growing city.. It's Dublin every year.
  14. What's the fastest thing in Africa? Ethiopian with a dinner ticket.
  15. 9/11 victims are the fastest readers. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds!

World Fastest Jokes

Here is a list of funny world fastest jokes and even better world fastest puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Who are the world's fastest readers? The 911 victims. They went through 50 stories in a minute.
    I'm so sorry
  • Who are the worlds fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They blew through 87 stories in 10 seconds
  • usain bolt usain bolt, the fastest man in the world, can run almost 30mph. that means if were to run in a neighborhood, he could get pulled over by the cops...for being black.
  • Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims, they went through 89 stories in mere seconds
  • Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9-11 Victims because they went through 81 stories in 10 seconds
  • I realized why Scandanavians are the fastest runners in the world... ...all their races start near the Finnish line.
  • What's the fastest growing city in the world? The capital of Ireland. It keeps Dublin and Dublin and Dublin.
  • What is the fastest animal in the world? A chicken in a Somalian village
  • Did you guys hear that Ireland has the fastest growing economy in the world? Yeah, their capital is always Dublin
  • Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.
Fastest joke, Who are the fastest readers in the world?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about fastest can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of fastest puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Amusing & Witty Fastest Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about fastest you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean shortest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make fastest prank.

What is the fastest way to get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an alterboy...

Mr Snail was always being teased by the insects

for being so slow. Eventually, he just couldn't take it anymore and went to the nearest car dealership.
"I want the fastest sports car you have," he told the salesman, "and make sure to paint a huge 'S' on it, so everyone will know its Mr Snail's car!"
So now, every time Mr Snail drives past the insects, speeding like a maniac, all the insects look and say: "Wow, look at that 'S' car go!"

Three boys are bragging about whose dad is the fastest runner...

The first says "My dad is a hunter. He can shoot an arrow, run to where it's gonna land and catch it!"
"That's nothing!" says the second boy "My dad's a police officer. He can shoot a bullet and be at the target before the bullet hits!"
"My dad can run the fastest!" says the third boy. "He's a civil servant. He works till 4 and is always home by 3:30!"

What is the fastest speed a woman can go ?

68, because when she turns 69 she blows a rod.

The sons of Superman, Flash and John are chatting...

Superman's sons says, "my dad travels the fastest, he doesnt care about traffic and returns home from work in a matter of minutes."
Flash's son says, "Nah, dude, my dad travels at the speed of light, the moment he finishes work, he's home."
John's sons says, "Please, my dad's shift ends at 5, he's home watching TV at 4:30 already"

What's the fastest car on earth?

A rental car.

Why does mexico never win the Olympics?

because all the fastest runners, jumpers, and swimmers make it to the US.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

New Yorkers,some of them go through 110 stories in 10 seconds.

Who's the fastest runner in the chinese olympic team?

Mr. Do Ping

Two Police officers.

Two police officers c**... their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says:
Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site.

Who are the fastest readers?

9/11 victims. They got through over 40 stories in seconds.

What are the three fastest forms of communication?

Telephone, telegraph, tell a woman.

What type of bakery has the fastest service?

A Russian bakery.

Whats the fastest animal on Earth?

Am Ethiopian chicken

What's the fastest animal in the world?

The Spanish government worker. The job ends at 3 and he's home by 2.

There was a race to see what company's​ planes flew fastest

United Airlines beat everyone...

Which country's capital has the fastest population growth?

Ireland, because it's always Dublin.

They say the fastest disappearing thing in the universe is the speed of light

Still 2nd place to my dad

9/11 victims are the fastest readers

They went through 90 stories in 10 seconds.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife................

If the second's hand is the fastest hand on a clock...

...why isn't it first?

Researchers rolled an assortment of vegetables down a hill to see which would travel fastest

Stephen Hawking won by a landslide

Trump, Obama, Clinton, and Bush decided to have a sprinting race

Trump, Obama, Clinton, and Bush decided to have a sprinting race to see who's the fastest
Trump went first and he ran from the start to the finish line in 23:34 minutes
Clinton went second and got 15:28 minutes
Obama went after and did 10 minutes, thinking he may have won, Obama is fairly optimistic
Until Bush did 9:11

A guy runs into the bar and says, "Quick, pour me 5 shots of your most expensive Scotch."

The bartender pours them and the man drinks them as fast as he can.
"Wow that's the fastest I've seen anyone drink," says the bartender.
"Well you'd drink that fast if you had what I had," the man says.
"Oh my gosh," the bartender says, "What do you have?"
The man replies "50 cents."

What's the fastest way to double your money?

Fold it in half
^^....I'll ^^see ^^myself ^^out

Fastest thing in the universe

Two men are arguing over what is the fastest thing in the universe.
One man says, Of course it has to be the speed of light!
The other says, Nonsense, it's human thought!
A third man interrupts, You're both wrong, its diarrhea.
Visibly confused, the two men are quick to asking Why??
The third man easily explains, Because you won't be able to think about it or turn on the light when it hits you.

What is the fastest way to make a friend?

Tell a girl that you love her.

Why couldn't the press take pictures of the fastest superhero?

No Flash photography.

Two German soccer players go to a s**... bank..

The nurse there tells them that she can only take samples from one of them. Since they are both very strong men, she comes to a conclusion and tells them "I'll take a sample from the fastest runner"
This is alarming to the two German's, both of them being completely exhausted from the previous days game. After discussing it for a while, they decide to inform the nurse
"I don't think we're ready to compete for the cup...

Trump marched into the white house

When trump became president obama was waiting for him at the white house.
Trump! You have to run around the entire white house while I time you, we have a little leaderboard said obama
Ok, im fast, the fastest. When i run you cant even see me trust me! Replied trump, incidentally what are the other presidents times?
Obama looked at his notebook, well I took 8:23
, clinton took 8:40, nixon took 10:10 and bush did 9:11.

Did you hear about the country with the fastest growing capital?

It's Ireland - every day it's Dublin.

A cop, a firefighter, and a bureaucrat are at a elementary school career day...

The cop brags, I'm the fastest one out of the three. I can respond to a threat in one minute
The firefighter says, That's nothing, I can run into a burning building and rescue someone in 30 seconds
The bureaucrat responds, pfff, I can work 9-5 and be home by 2

What is the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?

Turn off the lights.

My grandmother always use to say the fastest way to a man's heart is through the stomach

She was a terrible surgeon.

Who were the fastest runners ever?

Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.

The big race

It was the day of the big race. Usain Bolt was going to run against a cheetah, the world's fastest animal, capable of reaching speeds of up to 70 mph!
People knew Usain didn't stand a chance, but watched anyway. At last, they were off, and in a matter of seconds the race was over - amazingly, Usain Bolt came out victorious!!!
Because...cheetah's never win.

What is the fastest way to lose about 135lbs?

Divorce her

Fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?

Just switch off the light!

Which country has the fastest growing population?

Ireland
It's Dublin everyday.

What is the fastest growing country by population?

Ireland. it's Dublin every year.

Three men are discussing what they think is the fastest thing in the world

The first man says The fastest thing in the world is a thought... I think something and pops into my head
The second man says The fastest thing in the world is light... I turn on the light switch and the room lights up instantly
The third man thinks for a second and says you are both wrong... it's actually Diarrhoea
Confused, The two friends as him how could diarrhoea be the fastest thing in the world?
The third man replies well, the other day when I woke up, before I could even think or turn on the light, it was already too late!

Donald Trump and Michael Pence are having a race from the roof of a very tall building. They both decide to jump down, as it's the fastest way down. Who wins?

Society

A man asked what was the fastest way to the next town.

Are you going by car or are you going to walk? he said. I'm going by car he replied. That would be the fastest way then

[Prop comedy] When you're at a formal event,

roll up both ends of your tie and ask, "Which end do you think's gonna unfurl the fastest?"
After they make their guess (or sarcastic remark)--pause for effect--create the atmosphere-- and let them drop!
They'll look at the tie first, then slowly pan up to your goofy grin..
and that's when you raise your arms and exclaim, "It's a ***TIE***!!"

What kind of horse is the fastest?

>! A pregnant one, because it has 2 horsepower !<

Who are the fastest readers?

9/11 victims, they went through more than 50 stories in less than 10 seconds!

What's the fastest fluid?

Milk. It's pasteurised before you see it!

I entered a competition to see whose muscles could whither away the fastest.

The winner got atrophy.

What's the fastest natural disaster?

A Hurry-cane
Credit to my nine year old.

What's the fastest way to become a Millionaire?

Be a Billionaire and invade Ukraine.

>NK Lukoil PAO
>
>6.96 USD
>
>\-84.96 (-92.43%)past month

Fastest joke, What's the fastest way to become a Millionaire?

jokes about fastest

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these fastest jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.