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Faster Than Jokes

158 faster than jokes and hilarious faster than puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about faster than that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is about how to write jokes that are funny and fast.

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Popular Faster Than Short Jokes

Short faster than jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The faster than humour may include short quicker than jokes also.

  1. When you live alone, the only thing that wakes you up faster than a cold toilet seat Is a warm toilet seat
  2. Did you hear that the US bobsled team put Donald Trump's picture on the front of the sled? Apparently nobody else can make America go downhill faster.
  3. If light travels faster than the speed of sound... how come I can hear the guy in the bmw behind me honk before the light turns green?
  4. I painted my computer black so it would run faster. Now it doesn't work.
    Then I painted my computer white so it would work.
    Now the whole system is corrupt.
  5. I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell... It only made it more sluggish.
  6. Tuna must age about five times faster than humans. This is supported by the fact that tuna half-hours are equal to 150 minutes.
  7. I entered a my pet snail into a race and removed its shell thinking it would make it faster... Unfortunately, it only made it more sluggish.
  8. I removed the shell from my racing snail. I thought it would make it faster, but if anything it's more sluggish.
  9. ...and the bartender said: we don't serve hypothetical faster-than-light particles here! A tachyon walks into a bar...
  10. A shark can swim faster than a human, but a human can run faster than a shark… ..So in a triathlon it comes down to who's the better cyclist

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Faster Than One Liners

Which faster than one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with faster than? I can suggest the ones about slower than and faster.

  1. Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother… Sudden Lee
  2. Painted my computer black hoping it would run faster... Now it just doesn't work.
  3. What is faster than a calculator? A Calcu-now.
  4. Light travels faster than sound! That's why some people appear bright until they talk.
  5. Which runs faster, hot or cold? Hot, Everyone can catch a cold.
  6. I painted my computer black last night Now it runs much faster
  7. What works faster than a calculator? A calcunow
  8. I painted my PC black to make it run faster Now it doesn't work
  9. Bruce Lee was fast But his brother, Sudden, was faster.
  10. Why are cars faster than motorcycles? Because motorcycles are two tired.
  11. I'm scared of 5G It will only allow idiots to spread their conspiracy theories faster.
  12. So I painted my laptop black. I thought it would run faster. But now, it doesn't work.
  13. What Makes ISIS Spread Faster Than The Internet? An Airstrike.
  14. Heat or cold Which one travels faster, heat or cold?
    Heat, because you can catch a cold.
  15. What is faster, hot or cold? Hot, you can catch a cold.

Coming Faster Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny coming faster than jokes and even better coming faster than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • yes, sharks can outswim you. but you can outrun sharks. so far in a triathlon you're square. all comes down to who's the faster cyclist.
  • A shark can swim faster than I can... But I can definitely run faster than a shark.
    So really, in a triathlon, it would come down to who is the better cyclist.
  • A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is a better cyclist!
  • If the speed of light is much faster than the speed of sound Then how come I hear the horn way before the light turns green?
  • After 100 year, Tolkien's Beren and Luthien is coming out. Still faster than George RR Martin.
  • Success is something that always comes faster to the man your wife almost married.
  • A wife is like a boomerang – the harder you throw the faster she comes back.

Falling Faster Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny falling faster than jokes and even better falling faster than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I realized that whacking off helps me fall asleep much faster This whole time the cure for insomnia was within my grasp
  • What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo? The leaf, the rope stops the emo.
  • Which falls faster, a ball of wool or a ball of steel? Neymar
  • [Slightly Offensive] A Jew and a black guy jump out of building, which hits the ground first? The Jew, cuz pennies fall faster than basketballs.
  • A Jew and a Black fall out of a building... The black hits the ground first because chains fall faster than ash
  • What's the only thing in the world that falls apart faster than Ikea furniture ? Sweden's defence against England
  • List of things falling faster than Joe Hart The British Pound
  • Russian economy is doing so poorly the ruble is falling faster than your mom's p**....

Change Faster Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny change faster than jokes and even better change faster than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • According to physics, light travels faster sound... ... If that's really the case though, why can I hear the car behind me honk before I see the traffic lights change?
  • I changed my car horn to gunshots People get out of the way much faster now
  • What changes faster than technology? Taylor Swifts boyfriend

Dropping Faster Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny dropping faster than jokes and even better dropping faster than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What gets dropped faster than an unruly passenger? $900 million in market shares.
  • What animal is faster than a cheetah? A cow dropped out of a helicopter.
  • The British are dropping pounds faster than a Biggest Loser contestant sorry plz kill me

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about faster than can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of faster than puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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What funny jokes about faster than you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean coming faster than jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make faster than prank.

Hippos can swim and run faster than humans. What does this mean?

The bycicle is the only way to beat then in a triathlon.

Did you know that light travels faster than sound?

That's why some people look bright until they start talking.

did you know light travels faster than sound?

That's why people look bright until they talk

The waiter says: Sorry, we don't serve particles faster than light.

A superluminal particle walks into a bar.

What do you call an Alabama girl who can run faster than her brothers?

A v**....

What do you call a r**... v**...?

A 13 year old girl who runs faster than her older brothers.

With Net Neutrality gone I'm finally ready to start my new business- Carrier Pigeons

You may laugh now, but you won't be when my pigeon deliver n**... faster than your service provider

If 9/11 had happened in July...

7/11's brand name would have crumbled faster than the Twin Towers.

TIL, Hippos can run faster than humans on land and swimmer faster in water

But still you can defeat them in a triathlon as they don't know how to ride a bicycle

If light travels faster than sound.

Then why do I always hear a honk before the light turn green?

Politics is like driving

No matter which lane you're in, anyone moving faster than you is a maniac and anyone going slower is a m**....

"We don't allow faster than light neutrinos here" said the bartender.

A neutrino walked into a bar.

You can tell the speed of light is much faster than the speed of sound.

Some people appear bright until you hear them talk.

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water.

Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.

Two nuns sare coming back from the market late at night

- "Sister Andrea, it's already dark and we are still quite fare from the covent"
- "Yes Sister Dulce and did you notice that a man is following us??"
- "Yes! and what do you think he wants ?"
- "logical, rapes us... what should we do??"
- "logical: we split way, you on the left me on the right"
The man starts following Sister Dulce. Sister Andrea arrives to the Covent, and is worried because Sister Dulce is not arrived yet. After 1 hour here she comes.
- "What happened??"
- "Well I started running and obviously as did the man"
- "and??"
- "Logical: he reached me.."
- "Oh dear god! And what did you do??"
- "Logical: I lifted my dress up"
- "And what did he do??"
- "Logical: He dropped his pants"
- "god.... and??"
- "Logical no? A nun with her dressed up runs faster than a man with his pants down"
ps: Sorry my english is not my first language :)

light travels faster than sound

thats why some people appear bright til you hear them speak.

Why does light travel faster than sound?

Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

How do you know if a r**... girl is a v**...?

If she can run faster than her brothers.

what do you call a Kentucky farm girl who can run faster than her dad?

A v**...

I'm so out of shape

Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me

What is a r**... v**...?

A 7-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!

A new Zealand joke

Why do New Zealand race horses run faster than other race horses?
They saw what happened to the sheep

What runs faster than a burglar with a TV?

His cousin with the DVD

My momma said "Life is like a box of condoms..."

Runs out faster than you expect, and your mistakes will outlive you.

What's faster than a black guy running with a stolen T.V.?

His brother with the DVR

Life is like a box of chocolates

Fat people go through it faster than skinny ones

Einstein says that anything with mass can't go faster than the speed of light, but...

What if you aren't Christian?

A snail decides he wants to be a racer...

So he employs a pit crew, a coach, and a designer. The designer paints a big 'S' on the side of his vehicle which the snail highly approves of.
He tries out at a local track, and starts overtaking all the other amateurs much faster than anyone else.
The coach stares and says 'Look at that S-Car-Go!"

I almost took part in a g**... with some friends

Good thing I'm faster than them

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

If it is true that light travels faster than sound

Then why do we always first hear the BMW driver behind us honk before seeing the light turn green?

A woman calls customer service..

"Hi, I bought a maternity dress through your site and I want to cancel the order." she says.
The service rep says, "Sure, I can do that for you.. but I'd also like to get your feedback; may I ask why?"
"Yeah," says the customer. "My delivery was faster than yours was."

Ginny and Georgia sexist joke

What do you care? You go through men faster than Taylor Swift!

There's a new way to measure time faster than the speed of light

It's the time from a red stop light turns green and the BMW behind you honks his horn.

Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.

Light is faster than sound

That explain why some people seems bright until the talk

Since light supposedly travels faster than the speed of sound.....

Why can I hear the BMW driver behind me honk before the light turns green?

Degree

I was waiting for a green light when I saw an elderly woman walking with a small child.
The excited young girl was walking slightly faster than the old lady, so the woman yelled, Degree! Wait for me!
Intrigued by such a unique name, I got out of the car and asked why she called the girl Degree.
She said, Well, I sent her mother to college to get an education, and she came home with this instead.
Credit to u/Princess_Kookie

I lost all my money betting on horse races.

Turns out they can run WAY faster than I can.

How do you know if hot is faster than cold?

Because you can catch a cold.

Why do computer scientists make such lousy lovers?

'Cause they always want to do the job faster than before. And when they do, they say the performance has improved.

Whats faster than a speeding bullet?

A Jew with a coupon

It is a known fact that light travels faster than sound.

That's why everyone seems bright until they speak.

A rookie carpenter is on his first day of a new job...

The foreman greets him at the job site and tells him his first task will be to nail some sheathing on a roof. The rookie grabs a hammer and nails and gets to work.
The foreman watches the rookie work for a while, and when he's finished he calls him over. The foreman says, "I think your nickname in this jobsite will be 'lightning'." The rookies face lit up, and he asked, "Why's that? Am I faster than everybody else?"
The foreman shakes his head and says, "No, it's because you never strike twice in the same place ."

What's the difference between an idiot and a m**...?

An idiot is someone who drives faster than you... a m**... is someone who drives slower.

Light travels faster than sound.

That's why some people apper bright until you hear them speak.

Google just called, they want to put a camera on your mom...

... they heard she makes it around the block faster than their street view cars.

Three kids are talking at school...

The first one says: "my dad is a formula one driver; he is super fast!" The second one answers: "Really? My dad is a pilot, and with his jet he is even faster than your dad!" They both turn to the last kid. He puts down his cookie, and tells the others: "My dad is so fast, his timetable says he finishes work at 6, but he's always home by 5". The two other kids are amazed, and they ask where his dad works. "He's a state employee".

What do you call a female Lannister that runs faster than her brothers

A v**...

A doctor was visiting a patient

She asked him 'doctor am I going to die?'
Out of pity the doctor told her the truth, 'we are all dying slowly, some just faster than others.'
The patient said, 'how fast am I dying.'
The doctor leaned over and said 'you are the usain bolt of dying.'

The only thing that travels faster than light is...

....
...
..
.
Your weekend.

If light travels faster than the speed of sound…

Why do I hear the car behind me honking before the light turns green?

What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky that can run faster than all 6 of her brothers?

A v**....

You know how light travels faster than sound?

Thats why some people seem bright until they speak.

Why is a pregnant horse faster than a non-pregnant horse?

Because it has 2 horsepower.

What's faster than the speed of light?

The speed of *how fast my wife jumps to conclusions*

What do you call women who are faster than me?

Virgins.
Sorry if it's a repost, I'm fairly new here.

BLACK SUPERMAN

I hope they cast a black Superman. It would nice for a brother to finally be faster than a speeding bullet.

Credits:Someones Tweet

So a man one day gains the ability to make a car made of coins.

It's acceleration was a quarter faster than a dragster, the frame costed mere pennies, and the interior was full nickel, but people didn't think it made cents.
A news reporter rushes to the man in awe, asking, but does it even have brakes? The man simply looked back and said "Of course. It stops on a dime."

While wandering through the woods....

I came upon a rabbit who said he could jump over the moon. So I shot him. Then I happened upon a deer who said he was faster than the speed of light. So I shot him. Then a bear appeared and said he was in the Russian space program. So I shot him.
Remember, only you can prevent forest liars.

How to best a hippo

A Hippopotamus can outrun you on land, and swim faster than you in the water - so the bicycle is your only chance to beat him in a triathlon.

Do you know how you can tell that women mature faster than men?

Men don't grow b**... until they turn 40.
(Credit goes to the old guy who made me chuckle today at work)

You know what they are saying about 2020

It went viral a lot faster than people thought it would.

Light doesn't travel faster than sound.

The guy in the BMW behind me always honks before the light turns green.

Nothing ruins s**... with a monkey faster than...

Remembering you work in an AIDS research lab.

Ireland takes the Lead

Did you know the population of Ireland is growing faster than any other country in the world?
The capital's been Dublin for decades.

If nothing is faster than the speed of light

Why did I see that Asian lady turn before I saw her blinker

Blowing up a Balloon.

My niece had a p**... baby that spent 2 weeks on a ventilator because her lungs were not fully developed yet. She continued to have breathing problems as a toddler and needed to you inhalers to get enough oxygen.
On her 3rd birthday, she insisted on helping her mom decorate for her party. And despite her chronic breathing issues, that little girl was able to blow up a balloon faster than the entire United States Air Force.

Oldie but goodie

Girl says to her mother I read better than half the other girls in my class Momma is it because I'm blonde ? Yes honey it's because you're blonde . I can run faster than most of the other girls too momma, is it because I'm blonde ? Yes honey it's because you're blonde . I have big boobies too momma, and none of the other girls have anything, is that because I'm blonde too momma ? No sweetie that's because you're 24

jokes about faster than

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these faster than jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.