Fast Food Jokes
135 fast food jokes and hilarious fast food puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fast food that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Fast Food Short Jokes
Short fast food jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fast food humour may include short breakfast food jokes also.
- Apparently there's a beef shortage on the rise. Good news is fast food restaurants shouldn't be affected.
- Why don't Americans eat snails? Because they like fast-food.
(This one actually came from my dad if that gets extra points.) - Everytime I eat fast food I can talk to dead people... Maybe I should quit ordering the medium fries.
- Every time I go through a fast food window They hand me my food and say sorry about the weight. I know I could lose a few pounds but this is just rude.
- Due to the recent relaxation of laws in Saudi Arabia, a new chain of fast food restaurants are opening up which are run solely by women.
It's called Burka King. - i got a wrong fast food order delivered today with NOTHING in it i wanted mcdonalds but got jack in the box
- If Bill Gates eats American food and Ghandi eats Indian food, what food does Usain Bolt eat? fast food
- I started a new diet this week. I now abstain from eating any food while I put my mittens on in the winter. I call it inter-mitten fasting.
- Have you heard the movie that they're making about fast food? It's getting filmed in Greece.
- If you're interviewing for a fast food job and they ask about your short and long term goals Short term : I want to work at McDonalds
Long term : I don't want to work at McDonalds
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Fast Food One Liners
Which fast food one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fast food? I can suggest the ones about junk food and fast car.
- Why do French people eat snails? Because they don't like fast food.
- What is Unidan's favorite fast food joint? Five Guys.
- Which fast food produces the most radiation? >!Fission chips. !<
- Why do we not eat sloths in the US? Because it's not a fast food
- What did soviet Russians call an 8-hour bread line? Fast food
- What does a cheetah call Usain Bolt? Fast food
- It's quite appropriate that fast food cashiers... often open with "sorry for the weight".
- What does a shark call a jet-skier? Fast food. (I'm so sorry)
- What's the only Papally-approved fast food chain in the US? Popeyes
- What kind of food do zombies hate? Fast food
- Do you only eat Mcdonalds during Ramadan? -No why?
Because its fast food. - Why did the cannibal go to the marathon? He wanted some fast food
- They say fast food is bad for you... so I ate a sloth.
- What was The Mountain's favorite fast food restaurant? Popeyes
- Some people eat snails... they must not like fast food.
Fast Food Restaurants Jokes
Here is a list of funny fast food restaurants jokes and even better fast food restaurants puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm planning to open a Norwegian/Middle Eastern fast-food restaurant. It's called The Valhallah Snakbar.
- Obesity is a problem and needs to be dealt with immediately But remember, 50% off fast food restaurants for the month of August. Help the economy
- What's a white supremacist's favourite fast food restaurant? KKKFC
- Asian stereotype joke An Asian man walks up to a fast food restaurant for takeout.
He says "Flied lice please."
He leaves but comes back a minute later
"This is fried rice, I ordered flied lice." - What's a chemist's favorite fast food restaurant? K(elvin) F(ahrenheit) C(elsius)!
- What's the name of the Indian fast food restaurant? Curry in a hurry.
- Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?
He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny. - What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?
Burgers and flies. - What fast food restaurants do they have in Africa? Subabweys
- A flat one What do snowmen order at fast-food restaurants?
An iceberg-er and french freezed potatoes
Fast Food Restaurant Jokes
Here is a list of funny fast food restaurant jokes and even better fast food restaurant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Fast food restaurants need a third window Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.
- What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant? Long John silvers
- "How do fast food restaurants make so much money?" "They flip burgers for profit!"
Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!
Fast Food Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny fast food day jokes and even better fast food day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Happy Mother's Day! Yes, it's today. How fast can you glue macaroni into a bracelet?
- When is the best time to eat fast food? *Fri*day!
Great Fast Food Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about fast food you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad food jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fast food pranks.
Q: What's a race car's favorite thing to eat for lunch?
A: Fast food!
Q: Why did was the Mexican fast food vendor arrested?
A: He was planning a tacover.
We have so many nationalities.
It's gotten to the point now that you can go into any fast food place, and you can find out what kind of neighborhood you're in just by the ethnic group that works there.
It's like, if Chinese people work there, you're in a Chinese neighborhood; if black people work there, you're in a black neighborhood; if white people work there, then you're in Utah.
How do you make a rabbit fast?
Don't feed it.
My family always celebrates Thanksgiving with a fast. The faster we eat, the more food we get.
Fast Food
What do you call a food that is fast?
Fast Food.
What do you call a Faster food?
Pasta.
What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food.
How do you make a horse fast?
You take away his food.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A couple pirate jokes
(Couple good misdirection jokes)
You: What's a pirates favorite military branch?
Friend:ARRRMY
You: No yee d**..., it's the coast guard.
You:What's a pirates favorite letter?
Friend:ARRRR
You: Aye, you think it be arr but it's the SEA! (C)
You:What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant?
Friend:ARRRBYS
You: No. It's Long John Silver's.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Which fast food joint is a euphemism for female m**...?
Jack in the box. (Jackin the box)
Two vampire bats are hanging from the ceiling of their cave...
... and one of them says he's hungry, so he flies off to find some food. Within a minute, he's back, blood all round his mouth, looking like he's had a really good meal.
The other bat is amazed, and says, "Where did you find so much blood so fast?"
So the first bat says, "Come with me, I'll show you." And he leads his friend to the mouth of the cave.
"See that big rock there?" He asks.
The other bat nods.
"I didn't."
What does a neckbeard call a woman he meets at a fast food joint?
McLady.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What disease do donkey's get from eating too much fast food?
Aspergers..
A nutritionist is giving a speech at a conference on eating healthy
Red meat is terrible for your metabolism, soda rips apart your gastric wall. Fast food is almost all fat and sugar but there's one food that is the worst of all. Almost all of us eat it sooner or later and the negative effects can last for years after a single consumption. Does anyone know what this is?
After a moment of silence an elderly specialist sitting in one of the front rows gets up and says "wedding cake"
I Hate My Life
I hate my life. I'm 22 and work at a fast food restaurant where my coworker hates me with a burning passion.
I'm extremely underpaid and if I ask for a raise my boss will kill me. I hate my town and the people in it. But I can't leave because I don't have a license.
And do you want to hear the worst part?
I live in a pineapple under the sea.
Old couple goes to a fast food restorant.
They order one burger and fries, sit down and divide the burger and fries. A man from table next to them sees that and asks politely: "If you want, I can buy some extra food for you." "No thanks, we are a old couple, we share everything." Time goes by and the man is eating, but the woman is not. From the table next to them, the man asks again:"I really have no problem buying you food." Man replies:"Dodnt worry about it, she will eat! We share everything" But the stranger is not happy with that and asks the woman:"Why are you not eating?" Woman looks at him and says:"I am waiting for the teeth."
Mahatma Ghandi never wore shoes...
Gandhi never wore shoes, and so his feet were always covered in loads of callouses and blisters. And because he never ate food, he was always very frail. Furthermore his fasting caused him to have horrible breath. So...
I guess you could say he was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
My girlfriend is a lot like fast food
I only come inside about once a year
A woman cries to her husband "honey, the fridge isn't running"
Husband replies "Good. I'm not in the mood for fast food"
Two guys got lost in the Egyptian desert
Both christians, one named John and the other named Thomas. They were starving and about to collapse when they spotted a Mosque, They rushed there for help. The Imam came out and asked for their names, John came up with 'Abdullah' in a panic and Thomas just said his name. The Imam hastily told the patrons to give Thomas food and water. While John had to wait and finish his fast.
I don't know what made me feel more fat
That my fast food weighed so much in my passenger seat that my car told be to put a seat belt on it or that I was so concerned with its safety that I actually did.
What's the difference between a fast food job and what Minnie Mouse got on her wedding night?
One is Mickey D's, the other is Mickey's D.
What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints?
You want flies with that?
how much is a life-time supply of fast food?
Not much.
As a Jew, am I allowed to eat McDonalds today?
Yes, I know it's Yom Kippur. But McDonalds is fast food.
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself.
Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to lose weight while still eating fast food?
Buy food from England, you tend to lose a few pounds.
Two friends are visiting Wales
Two friends are visiting Wales when they come to the town of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. They are arguing about how to pronounce it, so they decide to go to the fast food restaurant that they are near, and ask the cashier to pronounce the town name.
They ask the cashier "Where am I? Pronounce it slowly for us please."
The cashier replies, "Buurrrrr-guuuurrrrr kiiiiing"
Old McDonald had a farm....
He then had a million dollar idea, hence the fast food joint.
Why did the burger run?
Because it's fast food...
I've never understood why there's Burger King but no Borscht Czar
After all, people who eat fast food are in a hurry... they're always Russian around everywhere.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Even if h**... had only run a fast food chain, it would have turned out terribly...
I mean, who wants to order the "Arbeit Macht Fries"?
What do you call a skinny fast food worker?
A new hire
Why does animal hate fast food?
Because It keeps running away from them
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why doesn't McDonald's sell snails, Home Depot sell software, or Comcast sell s**...?
McDonald's is a fast food restaurant.
Home Depot sells hardware.
Comcast doesn't charge extra to screw you.
What is a lesbian cannibals favorite fast food joint?
Chick Fillet
What's the most metal fast food joint?
Dimmu Burgir King
Where does a pirate love to eat fast food?
ARRRRBys
(I work at arbys and every single time I say it customers ALWAYS laugh C: )
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why wouldn't the p**... eat at the fast food restaurant?
He preferred his meals h**...-made.
Why did the characters from Fifty Shades of Grey get into a fight about fast food?
They couldn't agree where to go. Christian wanted Domino's, but Ana insisted on Subway!
What's the most aggressive fast food business right now?
its nacho business
The ancient Romans would be saddened to know how many of their advances we'd forgotten. Aquaducts, fast food, underfloor heating...
But hey, it's all water over the bridge.
What do you call an American's God-given right to fast food?
Manifest Density
What do runners eat before a race?
Fast food.
What do Cannibals call Usain Bolt
Fast food
What do you call a cow traveling down the highway...
Fast food
I saw a burger running in the street today.
It's fast food.
A dung beetle goes for fast food...
Orders a Number 2
Whats the only thing a muslim can eat while fasting
Fast food
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A long-neck giraffe is eating with a rabbit in the forest
... and then the giraffe brags, "Bet you are really envious of my long neck. When I'm eating, delicious food usually lingers in my t**... and oh my, the taste, the scent, that feels really good!"
The rabbit swallows a mouthful real fast and then asks,
"Have you ever puked?"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Thank you Lord"
Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the o**... starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, "Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord." He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it saying a prayer: "Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive."
Which fast food joint would you like to see in space?
Personally, I'd love to see Five Guys on Uranus
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
First rule of Fast Food management:
Always put the employee with the worst accent on the drive-through.
Why wasn't Taco Bell featured at the White House's fast food feast?
Because Trump would have expected them to pay for the whole meal.
Historians now think that Gandhi wasn't starving himself in protest
Although he did not eat for long periods of time, which may look like fasting, It it now hypothesized that he was just trying African food.
Why do Cannibals go to Germany when they want same fast food?
Because its full of Frankfurters and Hamburgers
Worst name for a discount fast food chain?
Taco Liquidators.
Where do fast food places get those square fish for the filet-o-fish sandwiches?
From the asquarium.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Chinese woman goes to a local fast food restaurant.
The cashier: What can I get you ma'am?
The woman orders.
The cashier then jumps over the counter and begins groping and attempting to kiss the woman in public,
The woman freaks out and pushed him away screaming Why you do dis??
The cashier says: You said you wanted dirty s**...?!
The woman: I say I wanna number 36!
What do frogs order at a fast food chain?
French flies
Mcribbit
Chicken leg
Why is it impossible to hastily commute whilst abstaining from ingesting food or beverage and surrounded by foes?
Because you cannot fast travel when enemies are nearby
Why did the cannibal not eat Usain Bolt?
They're cutting back on fast food.
When a cannibal has fast food he gets...
A Samburger and French guys
Where do picklocks get their fast food?
At Burgler King.
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food
I have a weakness for casual fast food....
That's why I keep a condiment in my wallet.
