Hilarious Farther Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
Two sperms swimming
Two sperms swimming through a girls body. After a while one s**... looks at the other and says"we've been swimming forever! How much farther until we hit the ovaries?" The other s**... starts laughing and replies " ovaries?! We're not even halfway down the esophagus yet!"
Grammar tip
Farther = physical distance
Further = metaphorical distance
Father = emotional distance
You know, i never really thought our daughter would go farther than our son.
Yeah, turns out trebuchets are superior to catapults after all.
Two blondes in Las Vegas were sitting on a bench talking at night ... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Hellooooooo, can you see Florida?"
A father and his son are walking deeper and deeper into the woods...
... they get farther and farther and eventually the boy looks up at his father and says, Dad, I'm getting scared it's really dark. The father laughs and looks at his son and says, Your scared? I gotta walk back alone.
A tour guide is showing people around Washington, DC, when they reach the Potomac River.
"On this spot, right here," says the guide, "Abraham Lincoln threw a ten-dollar bill all the way across the river in 1863."
"That's impossible," says a tourist. "No one could throw a piece of paper that far."
"Well," says the guide, "it must be understood that money went a lot farther in those days."
What's the scandal when Tesla promises their cars can travel farther than they really can?
Elongate
Florida and the Moon
Two Blondes living in New York are stargazing.
One looks to the other and asks "Which do you think is farther, Florida or the Moon?"
Her friend responds "You can't see Florida from here, duh."
First job
A teenager walks proudly home one afternoon to tell his farther dime good news.
Teen: Hey dad, guys what, today i got my first job!
Father: Congratulations son, I'm very proud of you. How much does it pay?
Teen: (confused) well, so far I'm out 20 bucks. But if she starts paying me, I may have found a career!
After asking my girlfriend to marry me I spoke to her farther and told him I stupidly forgot to ask for his permission beforehand.
He replied Hi s**... lee, welcome to the family
You can explore farther sexier reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean farther whiff dad jokes. There are also farther puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I have a friend that is much taller than me
Because of the height difference between us he can see farther than me in a crowd.
He has heightened vision
I will never forget the last words my farther said before he kicked the bucket...
"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
A football coach addresses his team amidst rumors of his racism...
and says:
"I know people have been saying things, but those rumors couldn't be farther from the truth. The truth is, I don't care what color any of you are. I don't care if you're black. I don't care if you're white. It simply doesn't matter. So, I'll tell you what. From now on, you're all green.
"Now, everybody get on the bus. Light green in front, dark green in back."
I recently lost 30 pounds and I finally lost my dickeydoo
You know, when your belly sticks out farther than your dickeydoo?
My grand farther died in a concentration camp.
Yeah he fell off the watch tower.
The Bacon tree
p**... and Patrick have been lost in the desert after the war for a week with no food or water when they spot a tree in the distance ,p**... says to Patrick look its a bacon tree we can get a bacon sandwich its full of sides of bacon, Patrick says to p**... you go on and get me one as I can't go any farther, so p**... goes on after a few minuets p**... comes running back and shouts to Patrick quick run its not a bacon tree
it's a ham bush
How can fat women do running jumps farther than skinny people?
Because cows are aerodynamic.
An astronomers wife asks what she can do to make herself look younger
He tells her the farther away you are the younger you look
Did you hear about the girl who got adopted by midgets while she traveled across the country?
She got a little farther
Just found out that I have a 'dinkie doo'...
It's when your belly sticks out farther than your dinkie doo.
Get farther away from the screen dude
It's an IQ test the closer you get, the betyer yu edd up typin b you got ofd im tha distan
