Fart Smell Jokes

An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator.
Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to f**....
Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy.
Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell.
A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face.
"Holy cow! What's that smell?"
"I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?"
"Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."

Father-in-law's f**...

A man was sitting next to his wife at her father's f**... when someone sitting next to him let loose a "silent-but-*deadly*" f**... during the eulogy. Without thinking, the main blurted out, "Jesus, it smells like something died in here"

Your voice reminds me of a f**....

It smells and nobody likes it.

A young korean couple are lying in bed...

When the guy starts f**... nonstop.
The girl, unable to take the smell, says, "Stop, that's disgusting!"
"Don't blame me", the guy says. "It's the dog."
"Oh, don't blame him", she says. "He was cooked perfectly."

Why do farts smell?

... For the benefit of the deaf!

If a clown farts...

... does it smell funny?

Why do Farts Smell so Bad?

So the deaf can enjoy them too.

2 Egyptians noticed their farts smelled the same.

They had a Tutankhamen.

What is green and smells?

Hulk's f**...

A man goes to his doctor about his terrible farts

"Doctor, I have terrible gas. I keep making these weird farts: they are constant and really loud but they don't smell."
So the doctor says: "Alright, take these pills and come back and see me in a week."
A week later the man comes back.
"Doctor, these pills have just made the farts worse! Now they are the foulest things I've ever smelt in my life!"
"Great, now that we've fixed your sense of smell, we can start to work on stopping your farts."
-----
This was my grandpa's favourite joke. He was a big fan of f**... humour.

I f**... in bed and said to my wife, "it smells like pho"

To which she replied, "pho-king diarrhea"

What does a sailor in the navy farts smell like?

s**....

An old woman goes to the doctor..

She complains that "I've been f**... all the time. It doesn't smell and no one can hear it... but I just want to get the problem fixed."
The doctor writes her a prescription and tells her to come back in two weeks after taking her medication.
She comes back after two weeks and says "Doctor, I'm still f**... all the time and no one can hear it - but it's starting to smell really badly"
The doctor: "Great - now that we fixed your smelling problem, let's fix your hearing one."

I once f**... in the woods

Then i saw a grizzly walking with his paw in front of his nose.
I think He couldn't bear the smell

My farts smells like teen spirit.

t**....

I f**... on my mother-in-law and everyone around us could smell it but her.

That's one upside of being in a coffin.

Schrodinger's f**...

Apparently Schrodinger had a lousy sense of smell.
Only way he could tell if the f**... smelled bad, was if he did it into a box with a cat.

How would you describe the smell of a horse's f**...?

Hayness.

Why did the apple Tech get fired?

He f**... and then to get rid of the smell he tried opening windows..

A Guy Proposing To His GF...

She interrupted him and said: but I have one flaw you should be aware of: I f**... alot! Like a lot!
He giggled and said it's alright I have a problem with my nose too, I can't smell that well.
After three days of them living together ,
The guy is opening the windows of the apartment,
And the wife is crying and shouting YOU LIED TO ME, YOU CAN SMELL!,
The guy responded: no I didn't but it is getting hard to walk around here! my eyes are burning!

What's invisible and smells like dirt?

An Ethiopian's f**....

What do you call it when you smell your own f**...?

A smellfie.

Someone f**... at my Grandmother's Wake

Smelled like somebody died in there.

When I eat a bunch of a foreign food

my gas smells different, it's like f**... in another language

What is the biggest hardfistedness?

When you f**... under your blanket and don't let others to smell your f**....

I've been drinking to kill something inside me.

Apparently I succeeded, because my girlfriend tells me it smells like something died every time I f**....

I was waiting in line at the cheese counter at the local grocery store today when I had to f**....

After ripping a silent one the guy in front of me asks the lady behind the counter which cheese smells such aromatically.

Witches don't f**...

They cast smells

A guy in a train lets a loud f**...

He puts his two hands together, crossing his fingers and claps the palm of his hands to imitate the sound of a f**....
Another passenger asks: "How do you do the smell?"

Silent and not smelly..

Saw another joke here which reminded me of this one so posting...
A man goes to see a doctor and says, doc I f**... a lot, like constantly, but they are silent and not smelly. In fact, I have f**... at least a dozen times here already but you wouldn't have even noticed . The doctor gives him meds and tells him to follow up in week's time. Next week the man comes back pretty upset and complains, what did you do!!! While my farts are still silent, they sure as h**... smell freakishly disgusting . The doctor calmly replies, Okay, so now that we have cleared your sinuses, lets work on your hearing .

Frank farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out.

He goes and sits outside the class and can't stop laughing. The principle walks by and sees him. He asks, Frank, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?"
I f**... in class and the teacher threw me out. The principle asks him again, Well then, why are you laughing?
Because those idiots are sitting in the class smelling my f**... while I'm outside in the fresh air."

With losing your sense of smell from COVID-19 being a symptom, I no longer call it f**... in a crowded elevator.

I call it a free COVID-19 test

A 90 year old man goes to the doctor

An 90 year old man is at the doctor and says, "I f**... a lot but fortunately, the farts are silent and don't smell. I have f**... 10 times while talking to you and you didn't notice!"
The doctor replies, "Take these pills and come back next week."
The next week the man returns. "Doctor," he says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like h**...."
The doctor says, "Excellent! Now that we've fixed your sense of smell, let's work on your hearing."

A man sees his doctor for his f**... problems.

I've been f**... a lot lately, doc, says the man. I've actually f**... ten times since I've been in here. But they don't make any noise and they don't smell. Can you help me?
The doctor says, I think I see the problem. I'm going to prescribe you some medicine that should help you. Take it and then come back and see me next week.
One week later, the man returns to the doctor's office. What did that medicine do to me, doc?! My farts smell horrible now!
The doctor says, Well, it looks like that medicine cleaned up your sinuses. Now let's get you a hearing aid.

I was queuing to go into the supermarket when the man in front of me f**....

Before I could say anything, he said, "If you heard anything it means you're not following social distancing. But if you can smell it, luckily for you it means that you're covid negative!"

This joke about Covid circulating around Chinese web boards...

If someone walking ahead of you farts and you can can hear it, that means you're not practicing correct social distancing.
If you can smell it, that means you're not wearing your mask properly.
If you are wearing your mask properly and can still smell it, then congratulations, you don't have covid-19.

Sharp Retort

A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the old woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 dollars an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both of the women in the eyes, farts, and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!"

A woman goes to the doctor because she suspects she might have covid

She enters the office and while she was in the middle of explaining her symptoms the doctor with a blushed face calls his assistant and asks for a room to admit the woman into the hospital.
The woman surprised says "Are you sure I have covid? It's just a mild cough and I haven't been even tested yet!
To which the doctor replies "Lady I just had finished my lunch and released a huge f**... a second before you came in, if you couldn't smell that I'm not wasting a test"

f**... under the covers is no longer called a Dutch oven...

It's a free Covid test. If you can still smell or taste it, you're negative.

An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas.

Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've f**... at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!" The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week." The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the h**... you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."