Farms Jokes

36 farms jokes and hilarious farms puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about farms that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Farms Short Jokes

Short farms jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The farms humour may include short farming jokes also.

  1. Old McDonald had to hire a manager for the farm. The manager asked, "What's my title?" mcdonald said, "You're the C I E I O."
  2. My uncle was taking our picture at a dairy farm in Wisconsin when he was crushed by a giant wheel of cheese. We tried to warn him.
  3. If Snapchat has taught me anything .... .... it's that a lot of today's teens look better as farm animals.
  4. After years of poor yields, Old McDonald will have to sell his farm... ... to cover what he e-i-e-i owes.
  5. Do you remember when people didn't have to make pop culture references to make a joke? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
  6. Saw a sign at a farm that said, "duck, eggs." I was contemplating the use of the comma when it hit me.
  7. Latvian man goes to buy iPhone.. Premise ridiculous! iPhone cannot be use to farm potato.
    Also, salesman die of malnourish.
  8. What do a farm and hospital have in common? Too many vegetables for one person to take care of.
  9. What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock? barn and no-bulls.
    (This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.)
  10. Punctuation Matters! I was walking past a farm and a sign said:
    "Duck, Eggs"
    I thought: That's an unnecessary comma - and then it hit me."

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Farms One Liners

Which farms one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with farms? I can suggest the ones about farmer and farm equipment.

  1. Just got a job as senior director at Old MacDonald's Farm... I'm the CIEIO
  2. What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA? Banned from of Seaworld
  3. Dad Jokes are like farms The cornier the better
  4. What do you call the boss at Old McDonald's Farm ? The CIEIO
  5. Old McDonald had a farm... 2.71828 √(-1) 2.71828 √(-1) (5-5)
  6. Due to rising costs, Old McDonald had to sell his farm. E-I-E-I-Owes a lot of money.
  7. I'm starting a job as a director.. .. of old McDonald's farm, I'm the CIEIO.
  8. Why did the tractor sell medicines? Because it was a farm assist!
    ... I'm sorry...
  9. I just accepted a senior management position on the old MacDonald farm I'm the CIEIO
  10. How do you get a farm girl to marry you? First, a tractor.
  11. How do you know if someone is just farming for karma? They only post on their cake day
  12. I got a promotion at the farm I'm the new CIEIO
  13. I got really hungry when we visited the Alpaca Farm, next time alpaca lunch.
  14. Just got a promotion on the farm I'm the new C.I.E.I.O
  15. Where do all the orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms

Farms joke, Where do all the <a href="/orphan-jokes.html" title="Orphan jokes">orphan</a> chickens end up?

Share Hilarious Farms Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about farms you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean crops jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make farms pranks.

Mad cow disease

Two cows were talking over the fence bordering their farms.
The first cow said "Have you heard about this mad cow disease, it's spreading really fast."
The second cow responded "What do I care? I'm a helicopter."

One of my favorite Reagan jokes:

A Soviet Diplomat goes to one of the farms in Russia, and approaches the farmer.
How are the carrots doing? Said the Diplomat.
Oh, the carrots are as big and orange as ever! Replies the farmer.
I see, and how are the beets?
Oh, sir, if Gorbachev saw these beets, he would cry with joy!
And what about the potatoes?
Sir, if we stacked the potatoes, they would be high enough to reach God!
The diplomat stares for a minute. But comrade, we don't believe in god.
Oh, good. Says the farmer. Because there are no potatoes.

A commissar goes to a collective farm...

... And hails a farmer to ask about how his village's farms are doing.
The farmer says "Oh Comrade Commissar, if we stacked all the potatoes in a pile, it would reach the foot of God!"
The commissar raises an eyebrow and says "Comrade farmer, we live in the USSR. There is no god."
The farmer replied: "That's okay, there are no potatoes either."

My brother and I own adjacent farms

The other day he rode over to complain that I was growing m**... on his side of the fence.
I told him to get off his high horse.

Why can't you improve the efficiency of wind farms by playing country music around them?

Because they're really just big heavy metal fans.

Why do cow farms stink?

They're full of dairy airs.

Food inspection

A food inspection officer went to 3 chicken farms
Farm 1
Inspector: What do you feed the chickens ?
Farmer 1: I feed them vegetables.
Inspector: WRONG! closed down this farm immediately
Farm 2
Inspector: What do you feed the chickens ?
Farmer 2: a little scared said i feed them fruits
Inspector: WRONG! closed down this farm immediately
Farm 3
Inspector: What do you feed the chickens ?
Farmer 3: terrified that his farm will be closed as well said
"i just give all the chickens a dollar and tell them you can eat whatever you want"

Two Parents Get Arrested

A couple is arrested after they get caught burning their son's name on farms. Picture a big bonfire, but it spells their son's name.
It's a tense ride into the station. The parents are obviously nervous, so the officer makes some small talk.
After a while, though, the curiosity gets the best of him so he asks them why.
Cop: Of all things to spell out, why your son's name?
Dad: We figured it was the best way to show how much we love arson.

What do pig farms and Harry Potter have in common?


Soviets are vegans

They have no animal farms.

I was driving passed some farms and I swear I saw a pig smoking a Doobie.... I think...

Therefore.... High ham?

Wind Farms.....

I'm a big fan!

What do Batman films and religious farms have in common?

They may have a Christian Bale in them.

My Grandfathers joke is so appropriate today. "Do you know where they send all the baby chickens that are orphans and have nowhere else to go?"

Well of course they send them to Foster Farms!

Do you remember who makes goldfish?

Pepperidge farms remembers


Patient: I get migraines from heavy snow.
Doctor: Strange! Most people get their grains from large farms.

Old MacDonald has became the owner of a bunch of new farms......

He has now became the CEIEIO

Why don't cows simply run away from their farms?

Because they don't have enough sta**moo**na

Do wind power farms smell bad?

After all, those windmill blades are breaking wind.

Farms joke, Do wind power farms smell bad?