Farmers Market Jokes

10 farmers market jokes and hilarious farmers market puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about farmers market that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Farmers Market Jokes

What is a good farmers market joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A farmer goes to the market to sell his horse for $2000, and a man buys it from him.

The farmer says he'll deliver it to to man in 1 week's time, but halfway through the week the horse dies.
The farmer offers to refund the man's money, but the man chooses to buy it anyway.
The next week the farmer sees and asks the man what he did with the dead horse.
The man says 'Oh I held a lucky draw, $50 for a chance to win a horse. 100 people entered, and I collected $5000.
The farmer, shocked, asks 'But wasn't anyone upset with the horse?' The man replies
'Oh yes, only the winner, but I refunded him his $50.'

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A farmer goes to the market to buy a rooster

He sees one he likes, so he asks the seller:"Is he any good for mating?"
"Oh, no problem there, he s**... every single chicken I had. He even tries to screw ducks, turkeys, even pigs!"
"Then why" asks the puzzled farmer "are you even selling him?"
"You see" answers the seller "lately he's been looking at me kinda funny."

Why was Dr. Dre kicked out of the farmer's market?

He kept dropping the beets.

Potatoes from Chernobyl

An old woman is shouting at a Ukrainian farmers' market: "Potatoes from Chernobyl! Potatoes from Chernobyl!" A passer-by asks her, "Why are you telling everybody that your potatoes are from Chernobyl? No one will buy them from you." "They do, my dear, they do. For mothers-in-law, for neighbors..."

On the farm market

Customer: Is that cabbage genetially modified?
Farmer: Why are you asking?
Cabbage: Yeah, why are you asking?

The closest I have come to being a professional comedian.

At the farmers market they told me ears of corn were a dozen for $10 or a dollar each. I said "ooh so you've got pirate corn?!?!". And he gave me a quizzical look... I said "It's a buccaneer!" And he groaned and gave me a free ear of corn.
I got paid for my comedy, that means I'm a professional right??

Why was the man arrested at the farmers' market?

He was caught taking a leek.

Down at the farmers market and a man dress as a pirate was selling corn for 1$

It was a buccaneer

A farmer is caught in a huge storm

He starts praying and swears to god that if he gets out alive,he will sell his only horse and give all of the money to his local church.
Miraculously, he survives, and the next day, he goes to the market to sell his horse. A client then shows up and asks :
-how much for that horse ?
-oh it's very cheap, only 3$. But I'm selling it with that turkey, and the turkey's 6000$!