Farmer Harvest Jokes
18 farmer harvest jokes and hilarious farmer harvest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about farmer harvest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Farmer Harvest Short Jokes
Short farmer harvest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The farmer harvest humour may include short harvest jokes also.
- "I have a migraine." -- Italian farmer after the harvest
(blame @pauleggleston from Twitter) - What did the corn farmer say after he had a particularly good harvest? There's polenta more where that came from!!
- A farmer is harvesting his lettuce field and suddenly drops to the ground His wife runs over and screams; I think he's having a Caesar!
- Farmer jokes A farmer sweats his blood and tears to harvest his crops for every year.He does not see everyone in the village for his own hard working.
- Why did the farmer fail to bring in the whole harvest before winter frost? He got lost in the maize.
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Farmer Harvest One Liners
Which farmer harvest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with farmer harvest? I can suggest the ones about farmer planting and farmer.
- Did you hear about the farmer that was arrested in Portland? He was Oregon Harvesting
- Optimus Prime has had a s**... change and is now a Combine Harvester He's a Trans-Farmer
Farmer Harvest Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about farmer harvest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean farmers feed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make farmer harvest pranks.
In the divorce court today
In the divorce court today an 85-year old farmer divorced his 17-year old wife, claiming he could not keep his hands off her.
He has since fired all of his hands and bought a combine harvester.
Potatoes For Everyone!
A party official asks a farmer how things are going, and the farmer replies that the harvest is so bountiful that the potatoes would reach the ''foot of God'' if piled on top of one another.
''But this is the Soviet Union,'' says the commissar, ''there is no God here.'' The farmer replies, ''That's all right, there are no potatoes, either.''
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Farming advice
A farmer notices that her neighbor produces a lot of big tomatoes every year, so she asks him what his secret was. He says that he walks n**... every morning as the sun raises. The next harvest he checks up on his neighbor, and asked if she had good tomatoes this year. She says, I walked around the garden n**... every morning as you said but not that many tomatoes, but the cucumbers surely got big this year.
A Communist Party Bureaucrat drives down to a collective farm to register a potato harvest
"Comrade farmer, how has the harvest been this year?" the official asks.
"Oh, by the grace of God we have had mountains of potatoes", answers the farmer.
"But there is no God" counters the official.
"Huh", says the farmer, "And there are no mountains of potatoes either"
A produce farmer walks into a bar carrying a box of some of his freshly harvested vegetables and orders a beer.
"Keep an eye on that farmer," the bartender tells a waitress. "You won't want to miss it when he starts dancing. He's incredible." "How will I know when he's going to dance?" the waitress asks, watching the farmer just sitting on the bar stool, nursing his beer. "Just keep an eye on him," the bartender advises. "You'll know it's coming when he stands up and drops a beet."
(From my grandfather)A man from the city goes to work on a farm
He helps the farmer with the harvesting and is riding the tractor around the big field while the farmer is working at one place. Everytime the man passes the farmer he greets him with a simple ''Hey''. This goes on for a little while, until the end of the day.
The farmer walks up to the man and says; ''You're fired. You talk way too much''
Why did the Pakistani cross the road? Because the American government was subsidizing the construction of mango harvesting and preservation infrastructure in the region on the other side, allowing farmers with the necessary means to develop strong ties to American markets and earn significant profits.
The Watermelon Farmer
A watermelon farmer had a thief that would steal a few of his watermelons each year. Year after year it was the same thing, during harvest season a few of his watermelons would constantly be stolen. No matter what he tried to do, he was not able to catch the thief. So one year he finally got tired of it and tried something new, so he put a sign up in his pasture, "One of these watermelons are poisoned." Thinking he finally deterred the thief, he went to bed.
The next morning when he woke up to harvest, there was a new sign under his that read, "Now two of these watermelon are poisoned".
hardworking robots.
a farmer purchased some shiny new robots to cut his harvest. one day a man from the highway department came by and told him the glare from his robots was blinding drivers on the interstate and that if the problem continues he would have to get rid of them. the man went to the store and bought some paint to remove the glare. two weeks later the man from the highway department came back by to ask him how his robots were doing. the farmer said "not so good. they were working great and then I painted them black and they wont show up for work now!"