Farmer And Politician Jokes
14 farmer and politician jokes and hilarious farmer and politician puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about farmer and politician that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Farmer And Politician Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good farmer and politician joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A bus filled with politicians is speeding down a country road when it swerves into a field and hits a tree.
The farmer who owns the field and tree comes out to investigate. Then he digs a hole and buries the politicians. A few days later the sheriff drives by and sees the bus. He goes and gets the farmer and asks him where the politicians are. He says he buried them. The sheriff asks if they were all dead. The farmer says, "Some of them were but some of them were trying to tell me they weren't. But you know how politicians lie!"
Politicians go on a vacation
Politicians go on a vacation by bus.
The bus driver gets distracted by the beautiful scenery and drives off a cliff next to a farm.
The following day the police question the farmer:
\- Did you not find any victims?
\- Actually, I did.
\- And where are they?
\- Well, I buried them.
\- Every politician died?!
\- Some of them said they didn't, but I don't believe a word of what they say anymore...
PS: English is my second language so apologies for mistakes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A farmer saw a plane full of politicians c**... near his farm.
When the police arrived, they asked the farmer what happened.
Farmer: They crashed near my farm and I buried all of them.
One of the police men asked with shock; "are you sure they were all dead"?
Farmer: Some of them were screaming, "we are still alive".
But I couldn't believe them.
You know, these politicians. They can lie.
A bus carrying 53 politicians rolls off a cliff....
A farmer sees what happened and buries all the politicians.
Two hours later there are 100 reporters at the farmhouse to interview the poor fellow. One reporter asked him - did you make sure they were all dead before burying them?
The farmer replied - the truth is, some of them said they were still alive, but I know never to trust a politician!
An airplane carrying politicians crashed in a farmers field...
When the police showed up they asked the farmer of there were any survivors
He said " I buried all of them, a cpuple said we're still alive, but them politicians like to lie."
A plane with famous and influential politicians onboard crashes into a field.
When the authorities arrive they find no survivors or dead bodies on the spot. It soon turns out that a local farmer buried them a bit further away.
The investigators ask him if he is sure there were no survivors, but he confirms that he buried each of them with his two hands.
The doctors ask him wether he could be sure everyone was dead by the time he had arrived at the scene, to which he responds:
"Well, some of them were moving and they claimed to be alive, but honestly I can't believe a single word of theirs."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A bus filled with politicians was driving on ....
.... The country road on campaign trail. Suddenly on a turn the bus veered off and hit a tree with great force. A farmer nearby rushed in, and seeing the scattered bodies proceeded to bury them with dignity.
Police arrived in few hours and proceeded to question the farmer.
Police: "Good deed you did there. So all of them died huh?"
Farmer: " You know how these politicians are. Some of them kept lying that they were alive but I'll be d**... if I believed them again"
Country Politics
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer''s barn.
The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The old farmer told him he had buried them.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them crooked politicians lie."
John dies and he meets Saint Peter.
Saint Peter: "You were indeed a good man. Come, I will walk you to Heaven."
They started walking through a long hall. On the walls, there were lots and lots of watches. Curious, the man asks:
John: "What's the deal with all these watches?"
Saint Peter: "You see, these are called lying watches. Everytime someone says a lie, the arms move. Look at this one for example. It belonged to Mother Teresa. Its arms never moved, not even once. We also have lying watches for every profession of mankind. Here are the lawyers', engineers', farmers'..."
John: "What about this empty spot?"
Saint Peter: "Oh, here it used to be the politicians' watch."
John: "What happened to it?"
Saint Peter: "Jesus uses it as a fan in his office."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Post tortoise
While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.
Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their role as our leaders.
The old farmer said, "Well, as I see it, most politicians are 'Post Tortoises'.''
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post tortoise' was.
The old farmer said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a tortoise balanced on top, that's a post tortoise."
The old farmer saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain.
"You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of s**... a**... put him up there to begin with."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Politicians
A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible c**... and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians he buries them. The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians? " asked the police officer. "Were they all dead? " The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie. "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road...
...when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's field.
The old farmer heard the tragic c**... so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians.
A few hours later, the local sheriff was driving past the farmer's field and noticed the bus wreck. He approached the old farmer and asked where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer explained that he'd gone ahead and buried all of them. "Were they ALL dead?" asked the puzzled sheriff. "Well, some of them said they weren't," said the old farmer, "but you know how them politicians lie."
Oldie but a goodie
An old farmer was busy plowing his field when he heard a terrible noise and looked up. A busload of politicians was careening wildly down the road, then spun out of control, flipped several times, and crashed into tree.
The old farmer hurried to the site of the accident. Seeing the wreckage and carnage, he sadly went about digging a large hole to bury the dead.
A few hours later, the sheriff came by, searching for the missing politicians. When he saw the crashed bus, he stopped and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The old farmer gravely shook his head and said he had buried them.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer replied grimly, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A farmer was working in his field...
when a carload of politicians rounded the corner at high speed, lost control, and flipped into a ditch.
A few hours later, a state trooper pulled up and asked, "Excuse me sir, but did you happen to see a car full of politicians come through here?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I did, officer. They crashed over there," replied the farmer, gesturing towards a fresh mound of dirt.
"You BURIED them?" asked the officer in shock. "Were they dead?"
The farmer scratched his head. "Well, officer, they SAID they weren't, but... well, you know how those politicians lie"
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