Farm Boy Jokes
27 farm boy jokes and hilarious farm boy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about farm boy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Farm Boy Short Jokes
Short farm boy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The farm boy humour may include short farming kid jokes also.
- At a pig farm a father and son come across two pigs mating. The boy asks what they are doing. To which the father replies "giving him a piggy back ride"
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Farm Boy One Liners
Which farm boy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with farm boy? I can suggest the ones about country boy and farmer.
- How does a Valley farm boy celebrate the beginning of March? He comes in, like, a lamb.
Comical & Quirky Farm Boy Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about farm boy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean farmer cow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make farm boy pranks.
Three boys are hanging around a farm trying to get a glimpse of the farmer's daughter showering.
The farmer notices them and he grabs his shotgun. They run and hide in the barn, each in one sack. The farmer arrives at the barn, and notices the 3 sacks.
He kicks one. From the sack, a sound comes out: Meow!
"Must be a cat." He moves on.
Kicks the second sack: Woof! Woof!!
"Must be a dog." He moves on.
He kicks the third sack: The sack says: "Potatoes!"
There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast.
On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says " You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"
A caring son
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.
The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!! " the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up. "
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to. "
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it. "
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset. "
"Don't be foolish! " the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he? "
"Under the wagon. "
Who Hasn't Read The Grapes of Wrath?
Farm boy John takes the cow to the neighboring farm which has a bull to have her inseminated. The neighboring farm also has neighbor farmer's daughter Sally. John and Sally put the bull and the cow in the same pasture and sit on the back porch and watch as nature takes its course. This gives John ideas so he turns to Sally and says, "I sure wish I was doing that". And Sally says, "Why don't you, John? It's your cow".
The Easter massacre
After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later the rooster walked in saw all the colored eggs, then stormed outside and killed the peacock
A Farm Boy gets bullied for having a big head...
The son says, "Mom, all the kids at school say I have a big head. Its really upsetting."
The mother says, "Don't worry honey, your head isn't big at all. Now, go gather some potatoes."
"Mom, I don't have a bag for potatoes."
"Its okay son, just use your hat."
I don't want to go to school
"Dad, I don't want to go to school
today." said the boy.
"Why not, son?"
\-"Well, one of the chickens on the
school farm died last week and we had
chicken soup for lunch the next day.
Then three days ago one of the pigs
died and we had roast pork the
next day"
"But why don't you want
to go today"
"Because our English
teacher died yesterday!"
A boy was standing in his father's wheat farm for several hours.....
His father finally asked him "son, why are you wasting your time standing out here?"
Son replied "father, I am not wasting my time, I am trying to win a nobel prize!"
The father thought he was studying the environment and was impressed, still he asked "how do you plan on doing that?"
Son replied "I have heard that people who won Nobel prizes were outstanding in various fields. So I am doing the same."
A city boy visits his friend in the country.
The country boy takes his friend out on his farm and says "I'm going to show you what we do for fun around here." So he takes one of his goats, sticks its head in the fence and starts having his way with it. After he finishes he says to the city boy "Your turn." So the city boy walks over to the goat and sticks his head into the fence next to it.
My grandpa told me this one today
There was a boy who lived on a farm. He decided that he wanted to pull an Easter prank. So the next morning he went into the hen house and swapped out all the eggs for colorful Easter eggs. When the rooster came in he took one look at the eggs and then immediate ran and killed the peacock.
Not the best joke but it made me chuckle
A Belgian farmer is working on his farm
He's busy sprinkling blue powder all over the place. As he is doing so, a young boy walks past the farm and sees the farmer.
He asks the farmer: "Farmer, why do you sprinkle this blue powder all over your farm?"
The farmer answers: "This powder is elephant repellant!"
The boy replies: "But there aren't any elephants over here!"
The farmer answers: "Strong powder, right?"
Ps. This is my dad's favourite joke
Cold water
A city boy was spending the summer with his grandfather on a farm.
The first night, the food was good but the plate looks a bit dirty.
The boy asks his grandfather about it and he says "That's as clean as cold water can get them."
The next night, the plates are even more g**... but all the grandfather will say is "That's as clean as cold water will get em"
The following day, the boy see's a dog l**... dirty plates. The grandfather said "I see you met our dog, Cold Water"
"Dad, I don't want to go to school today." said the boy.
"Why not, son?"
"Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day."
"But why don't you want to go today?"
"Because our English teacher died yesterday!"
A boy on a farm goes to the kitchen one morning.
His mother refuses to serve breakfast until after he's done his chores. So he tends to the cow, and then kicks the cow. He tends to the chicken, and kicks the chicken. He tends to the pig, and kicks the pig.
When he goes back to the kitchen, he's handed a bowl of dry cereal and a small plate of toast. "Where's the milk? Where's the eggs? Where's the bacon?"
His mother responds, "I saw you kick the cow. No milk for a week. You kicked the chicken. No eggs for a week. You also kicked the pig. No bacon for a week."
The boy's father comes into the kitchen and then kicks the cat.
The boy looks to the mother and asks, "Should you tell him, or should I?"
Man and wife visit the super bull farm.
They are shown round the prize bulls. The manager shows them a great strapping beast.. this one is our gold medal bull he mates without fail every three days. The wife is impressed and nudges hubby.. nodding approvingly.
They move on and next the manager shows them the double gold medal bull. He is a beast! This one, the manager explains proudly can do the business every other day without fail.
Wow.. Says the wife, with sideways look at her husband .. I'm very impressed.
Then the manager shows them Rocky, the triple gold medal bull. Rocky here, he says patting the muscular r**... of a steaming hot stomping beast, is a every single day boy.. 365 copulations a year.
The wife looks at her sulking husband. Now that's what I call a super stud!
Yes.. he says, scratching his chin,
but I bet Rocky here doesn't have to sleep with the same old cow every night.
Babies
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in the distant rural regions of Ireland with no running water, no electricity, none of the creature comforts. One night, Mikes' wife goes into labor. The local doctor is there in attendance.
"What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?"
"Hold the lantern, Mikey. Here it comes!" The doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see. "Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy."
"Saints be praised, I..."
Before Mike can finish the doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mikey." Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You've a full set now, Mikey. A beautiful baby daughter."
"Thanks be to..."
Again the doctor cuts in. "Hold the lantern, Mikey! Hold the lantern!" Soon the doctor delivers a third child. The doctor holds up the third baby for Mike's inspection.
"Doctor," asks Mike, "do you think it's the light that's attracting 'em?"
A farm boy comes down to eat some breakfast
On the table, is bacon, eggs and a huge glass of milk. However, before the boy could have anything, his mom demanded that he take out the garbage.
Angry at the world, the boy goes outside to take the garbage. On his way back inside, he stops at the pig pen, and kicks a pig in anger. He stops at the chicken coup and kicks a chicken in anger. He then stops at the cow barn and kicks a cow in anger.
Back inside, the boy feeling better, sits down. Only to find a bowl of dry cereal. He exclaims, "What's this?!"
The mom replies, "Well, because you kicked the pig, you get no bacon. Because you kicked the chicken, you get no eggs. And because you kicked the cow you get no milk."
Suddenly, an angry voice comes from the other room. Tripping, the dad kicks the cat in anger.
The boy responds, "Wanna tell him or should I?"
A young boy was obsessed with tractors..
He got a toy tractor and tractor pyjamas for his birthday, and he loved them with all his heart. 2 years later he got his first mini tractor, and rode it everyday until it became too small. Skip forward again, it was his 16th birthday, and his dad bought him his first real tractor. He takes it out to work around his dad's farm, which is what he always wanted to do. After a month he suddenly decided that farming wasn't for him and he was no longer interested in tractors. Skip ahead another 5 years, and the man is walking home from his office job when he spots a house burning down. He walks over to the house and positions himself in front of it. He suddenly takes a huge breath and s**... in all the smoke, the fire goes out, and the people are saved. A bystander asks him "How on earth did you do that?!" The man replied calmly, "Easy, I'm an ex-tractor fan"
A boy that lives on a farm is awakened by his mother early in the morning on the weekend.
She tells him he won't get breakfast until he does his chores. One of his chores involves feeding all the animals.
While he was feeding the animals he takes out his aggression on some of them.
He kicks a chicken, flogs a cow, and a pinches a pig.
When he finished his chores his mother just gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
When he asks why, his mother tells him that he didn't get any milk because he flogged the cow.
He didn't get any eggs because he kicked the chicken and he didn't get bacon because he harassed the pig.
Right then his father comes in trips over the cat and gives it an unmerciful kick up the hole out the door.
The boy looks at his mother and says, "Would you like to tell him or should I?"
Have you done your chores yet?
A young farm boy comes down to breakfast one morning. His mother asks, "Have you done your chores yet?" "No," replies the boy, "but could I have breakfast first?"
"You know the rules, go outside and clean the chicken coop, milk the cow and feed the pigs."
The boy goes down to the chicken coop and lazily cleans it. When he is finished, he kicks a chicken. Next, we walks to the barn and milks the cow. When he's done, he kicks her too. Then the boy gets the feed and slops the pigs. And again, when he's done, he kicks a pig.
Finally, the boy runs back to his house, very hungry. His mother gives him a plate with nothing on it but an apple. Disappointed, the boy says, "Where's my eggs, my milk and my sausage?"
"Well," says his mother, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get eggs. I saw you kick the cow, so you don't get milk. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any sausage."
Just then, the boy's father walks in and kicks the cat. The boy says to his mother, "Should I tell him now, or do you want to?"
Bubba n' Buford II
One day Bubba n' Buford were drivin' down the Farm to Market road in their pickup drinkin' Lone Star longnecks n' chillin' out to Bob Wills "San Antonio Rose" n' low n' behold, they come over a hilltop and there's a DPS roadblock a stoppin' folks. Thinkin' quick, Bubba pulls over to the side a the road n' Buford says "What we gonna do, you get another DUI n' they gonna throw away the key n' I'm still on probation for that thing with the duck at the theater!" Suddenly Bubba gets a big smile n' says, "Here I got a idy...". Meanwhile the DPS knows these two good 'ol boys and watches carefully as they pull back onto the road n' ease up to the roadblock. As he looks in the drivers window there's Bubba n' Buford smilin' ear to ear with beer labels stuck to thier foreheads. With a serious look on his face he asks the obvious question, "You boys been drinkin'?" With a big innocent smile on his face Bubba says, "No sir. We're on the patch!"
The homeless man and the farmer.
A homeless man is traveling from town to town and sees a farm, he finds the farmer and asks if he can work for some money. The farmer being a nice and charitable man agrees. He says, "clean out the horse stables, feed the pigs, and collect the eggs from the hen coop, and I'll give you 50$ when you're done." The homeless man agrees, and gets to work. He cleans out the horse stables no problem, feeds the pigs in record time, and collects all the eggs without breaking a single one. As he's walking back to tell the farmer he had finished, he sees a cow tied to a tree. He decides to milk the cow to show how grateful he is to the farmer. The man has some trouble milking the cow, as he had never been on a farm or milked a cow before, but he finally succeeds and gets a bucket's worth. The man decides to try the milk, straight from the t**.... he takes a drink, thinks it has a funky taste, but insists that's how it must taste straight from the source. So eggs and bucket in hand, the homeless man finds the farmer and says "I cleaned out the stables, fed the pigs, and collected all the eggs, and boy do you have a stubborn cow!" The farmer gives him a funny look and says "we don't have a cow... We have a *bull*..."
My friend told me this joke
It seems a young farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in and eat dinner with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon back up." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Nonsense, come on!" the farmer insisted. "Well, okay," the boy finally agreed, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is your Pa?"
"Under the wagon."
A young woman's car broke down in the deep South.
She realized that there was no way to get back to the city that night, so she walked over to the nearest farm house and asked the man there if she could stay over for the night.
The farmer scratched his head and said, "Well, I sure don't see no problem with this, just don't bother my two sons Joe Bob and Billy."
The woman assured him that she wouldn't, but that night she snuck into the boys' shared room and said, "Hey boys, want to have some fun?" They, being teenage boys, readily agreed.
The girl first held up two condoms and said, "Now boys, before we get started, you both gotta put on a rubber. I don't want to be getting pregnant, now!" They both complied and the t**... had s**... all night long. The woman left the next day, and they never saw each other again.
Twenty years later, Joe Bob and Billy sat on their rocking chairs on the porch. Joe Bob turned to Billy.
"Billy?"
"Yeah Joe Bob?"
"Remember that fine lady that visited us that one time?"
"Sure do."
"Do you care if she gets pregnant?"
"Sure don't."
"Me either. Let's take these danged things off."