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Far Jokes

120 far jokes and hilarious far puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about far that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Far Short Jokes

Short far jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The far humour may include short jokes also.

  1. Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.
  2. My wife beamed at me with pride and said, Wow! I never thought our son would go that far! I said, This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter.
  3. My son asked me, Dad, can we watch spider Man—Far from Home tonight? I said, Why? It is the same movie if you watch it nearby.
  4. Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot... The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
  5. Whenever I see a female bus driver, I'm reminded of how far we have come as a society... Then I wait for the next bus
  6. Give a man an egg and he'll eat for a day Breed a man that can lay an egg and suddenly you're taking science too far.
  7. What happens when you take a joke too far? The 45th President of the United States of America.
  8. Saw "IT" last night Far less "computer networking" and so much more "murderous clowning" than anticipated
  9. I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for So far no one has given me a straight answer.
  10. A gorgeous woman waved to me at the beach yesterday. But there was no way I was swimming out that far, to talk to her.

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Far One Liners

Which far one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with far? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. I stand behind Alec Baldwin It's far safer than standing in front of him.
  2. I signed up for a gym membership this year. So far I've managed to lose £200.
  3. The price of oil has dropped so far that... Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen.
  4. Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far-out.
  5. I'm very pleased with my new fridge magnet. So far I've got twelve fridges.
  6. Why couldn't the life guard save the drowning hippie? He was too far out, man.
  7. Why do you never see a flock of seagulls in the middle east? Because Iran's so far away
  8. I asked everyone what LGBTQ+ means So far I haven't had a straight answer
  9. I signed up for my companies 401K... But I don't think I can run that far.
  10. I told my girlfriend she has eyes like stars... Very dim and far apart.
  11. What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building? So far, so good.
  12. Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy from drowning? Because he was too far out, man.
  13. The iPhone 6S+ has been doing really well so far... It seems to be a huge 6S
  14. Why couldn't they save the shipwrecked hippies? They were too far out, man.
  15. How far can you run into the woods? Half way - after that, you're running out

Far Side Jokes

Here is a list of funny far side jokes and even better far side puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My dog brought me a ball from the other side of the world! Far-fetched, I know.
  • I love sunny side up eggs. But no matter how far in advance I plan to make one... ...I always wind up scrambling at the last minute.
  • Why did Gary Larson cross the road? ... to get to the far side.
  • If I steal jokes from The Far Side... ...Do you think the will charge me with Larsony?
  • Why did the left cross the road? Because they found their side to be too far right.
  • How I feel every time I visit the dentist Gosh, I love far side.
  • My friend told me to try out a g**..., since you can pretend it's a woman on the other side I've s**... 5 d**... so far and I still have no idea how this is supposed to work

Far Cry Jokes

Here is a list of funny far cry jokes and even better far cry puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Caught my Vegan roommate... Caught my Vegan roommate crying today while chopping onions. These people are taking it too far now!
  • My dad keeps quoting Far Cry 5. "The father is coming" he says... Well i wish he would, I've been on my knees for 20 minutes now.
  • I heard that milk helps babies grow but I don't think it's true I've lured three cartons over mine and all it's done so far is cry

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about far can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of far puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Far Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about far you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make far prank.

If Queen Elizabeth accidentally farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.

Noble gases should have no reaction.

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

They said i couldn't be good at poetry because i'm dyslexic.

But so far I've made 3 j**... and a vase and they are lovely.

How come nobody at the kings table laughed when he f**...?

Because noble gases don't cause reactions.

My 7 yr old just made this one up: What do you say when a dinosaur farts?

That was a blast from the past!

An elderly couple is in church. The wife says to the husband, "I've let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?"

The husband says, "Change the battery in your hearing aid."

A girl promises to teach her boyfriend what 69ing is.

He lies down on the floor and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts. Embarrassed she stands up and apologises. She squats down for another go but farts again, she gets up and apologises again.
Before she can have a third go, her boyfriend gets up and goes to walk out saying yeah this isn't really for me, I'm not having 67 more of those in my face

A farmer goes to the market to sell his horse for $2000, and a man buys it from him.

The farmer says he'll deliver it to to man in 1 week's time, but halfway through the week the horse dies.
The farmer offers to refund the man's money, but the man chooses to buy it anyway.
The next week the farmer sees and asks the man what he did with the dead horse.
The man says 'Oh I held a lucky draw, $50 for a chance to win a horse. 100 people entered, and I collected $5000.
The farmer, shocked, asks 'But wasn't anyone upset with the horse?' The man replies
'Oh yes, only the winner, but I refunded him his $50.'

I just f**... on my wallet

Now I have Gas Money!
*Told to me by my 9 year old daughter, who thought it's hilarious! (I agree lol)

Just got a job as senior director at Old MacDonald's Farm...

I'm the CIEIO

Elderly couple in church. Wife turns to husband and says "I've just done a silent f**..., what should I do?"

Husband says "put new batteries in your hearing aid."

A very religious man went on a safari

When he was there, he found a huge lion. The man didn't have a gun and there was no way he could outrun the lion. So, he did the only thing he could do. He got on his knees and prayed "Dear God, I was always a good Christian. Will you perform a miracle and give this lion some christian feelings".
That moment, the clouds parted and a beam of light came from above and touched the lion's heart. The lion raised his paws to the heavens and loudly prayed "Thank you Lord for this meal I'm about to receive."
PS: it was a beam of light.
PPS: 12 700 upvotes and 17 awards. Thank you so much. I haven't been this happy since Xmas.

I'm sick and tired of this "everybody wins" mentality kids have these days.

Seriously, they never exercise, lie in bed 12 hours a day, and sit down far more often than they stand up. And they still get atrophy.

Old McDonald had to hire a manager for the farm. The manager asked, "What's my title?"

McDonald said, "You're the C I E I O."

I was told, I would never be good at poetry, since I'm dyslexic…

But so far I've made 3 j**... and a vase… and they look very nice, if you ask me.

Pull

A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.
"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.
"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.
Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

My uncle was taking our picture at a dairy farm in Wisconsin when he was crushed by a giant wheel of cheese.

We tried to warn him.

A cop stopped a guy for speeding...

He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," he replied.
He said, "There is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."

A farmer has 3 daughters, each has a date lined up for the night.

The farmer waits on the front porch for the dates to arrive, shotgun on hand.
The first date shows up and says "Hello sir, I'm Eddy, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna go get some spaghetti, is she ready?". The farmer nods, and Eddy and Betty go on their way.
The next date shows up and says "Hi there, I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're gonna see the show, is she good to go?". Again the farmer nods and Joe and Flo go on their way.
A while later the last date shows up and says "Sup man, I'm Chuck"
And the farmer shoots him.

I was told I'll never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic.

But so far I've made 3 j**... and a vase and they are lovely.

"Silent farts that don't stink..."

An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up.
"Doctor, I have constant gas, but the farts are always silent and they don't stink!"
The doctor prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way.
Two weeks later she returns for a follow-up.
"Doctor, I still have constant silent farts, but now they stink!"
Doctor replies, "Alright, so we have cleared out those sinuses, now for your hearing..."

A dying grandma tells her grandchild....

A dying grandma tells her grandchild, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash." The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, "Oh grandma, you are SO generous! I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?" With her last breath, Grandma whispered, "Facebook..."

Dad Jokes are like farms

The cornier the better

James Bond always holds his farts while in bed

Otherwise he would blow his cover.


(Look I'm not funny this was my first and only attempt so sorry X\_X)

If Snapchat has taught me anything ....

.... it's that a lot of today's teens look better as farm animals.

My wife doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have s**.... This is all I'm spending for her Christmas present.

So far she's getting a McChicken.

My teacher told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic.

But so far I've made three j**... and a vase and they're lovely.

So my mom is getting her foot cut off today.. (really)

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot.
I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Farts are like children

I'm proud of mine but disgusted by yours

Frank farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out.

He goes and sits outside the class and can't stop laughing. The principle walks by and sees him. He asks, Frank, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?"
I f**... in class and the teacher threw me out. The principle asks him again, Well then, why are you laughing?
Because those idiots are sitting in the class smelling my f**... while I'm outside in the fresh air."

An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Ethiopian all sit in the hospital lobby as their wives are giving birth.

After a while the doctor comes out, invites them into the nursery where 3 babies lie in cribs and says: "Congratulation! You all just became fathers! But there is one problem. Due to a nurse's error the babies got mixed up and we don't really know which one who's."
The Englishman suddenly grabs the darkest baby and sprints towards the door.
The doctor shouts: "Sir! What are you doing!!!?"
The Englishman as he's getting farther: "I'm not raising no b**... Frenchman!"

Told an inmate to have a safe drive home.

I'm a corrections officer, getting ready to head out at shift change:
Inmate: "drive home safe"
Me: "yeah you too..."
Me: (thinking "oops, ouch")
Coworker: "Muahahaha"
Inmate: (hops into his imaginary car and shuffles to his cell making f**... engine noises, screeches the brakes, steps out of his car and into his cell. Pokes his head out) "Made it home safe dad"
Me and my coworker burst out laughing

"I love my job!" said the farmer

"All you do is boss me around all day!" said one of his sheep.
"What did you say?" said the farmer.
"You herd me."

This farmer was telling me about how brilliant his sheepdog was at maths,

"Watch this," he said. "Shep, what's seven plus two, "
And the dog barked ten times.
"OK, Shep, what's fifteen plus four. "
And the dog barked twenty times.
"He's very good, " I replied, but he's a little over. "
"Yeah, " answered the farmer, "old habits die hard, he's just rounding them up. "

An elderly couple are at the cinema...

About halfway through the film, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent f**...; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'You should put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

Why couldn't the chemist laugh at the queens f**...?

Because noble gases are nonreactive.

If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height?

From my head, tomatoes.
Hope no one has heard this before, thought of it while driving.

What is born skinless, flies wingless and sings until it dies?

A f**....
*dedicated to my dear departed Grandfather who told me this joke almost 40 years ago when I was a kid.*

A physicist, engineer, and mathematician are asked by a local farmer to build the smallest fence they possibly can to hold in all of his sheep.

The physicist builds a big fence and slowly reduces the size until he can't reduce the fence any longer.
The engineer measures each sheep, stacks them in a specific way, and then builds a fence around them.
The mathematician builds a small fence around himself, then defines himself to be outside the fence.

A Vietnamese farmer was working in the rice p**... field when he sees his son running to him

'Father, father look' , the kid points to a newspaper and says excitedly ' The Americans have gone to the moon '.
The farmer drops his plough and asks excitedly ;
'All of them'
'No just 3', replies the kid
'Damn it'
The father shakes his head in disappointment and goes back to the field.

A cop stopped a guy for speeding…

Cop said: Do you know how fast you were going?
The guy replied: I was trying to keep up with traffic
The cop said: But there is no traffic
And the guy answered: That's how far behind I am

A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer "How long will it take me to get to the next town?"

The farmer didn't answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again. After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out "About 20 minutes.
Thank you. But why didn't you tell me that when I asked you?"
Didn't know how fast you could walk".

When my grandpa died he f**... and we thought he was still alive...

...turns out, he just let one R.I.P.

A farmer had three daughters...

and each was going on a date one Friday night.
The first daughters date showed up "Hi I'm Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?"
Betty left with Freddy.
The second daughters date showed up "Hey I'm Joe here to pick up Flo to go to the show, is she ready to go?"
Flo left with Joe.
The third daughters date showed up "Hello I'm Chuck-"
The farmer shot chuck.

Condoms

1272AD - Arab Muslims invent the first condoms using the lower intestine of goats.
1856AD - English farmers improve on the idea by first removing the intestine from the goat.

Oh No! Not ELON!

Man is driving along the freeway when he is stopped by a huge traffic jam.
After sitting there for quite a long time, he sees another man walking from car-to-car.
The second man finally gets up to his car. He rolls down the window....
"Hey man, what's going on up ahead?"
"It's awful! Terrorists have stopped Elon Musk's limo! They are saying if they don't get $10 million dollars, they are going to burn him alive! So, I'm out here collecting donations."
"That's terrible! How much have you collected so far?"
"Ten gallons. But everyone else is still siphoning...."

Kids are like farts...

I hate everyone elses but for some weird reason I like my own.

An Elderly Couple

An elderly couple Pauline & Frank were recently attending a church service at their retirement village.
About halfway through the service, Pauline took a pen and paper out of her purse, and wrote a note and handed it to Frank.
The note said:" I just let out a silent f**..., what do you think I should do?"
Frank scribbled back: "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

The best in town!

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best s**... in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!" Again, the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally, the guy interrupts. "Go home, dad, you're drunk.

What do you call a h**...'s f**...?

A prosti-toot.

Today it became clear to me that the letters 'T' and 'G' are far too close together on the keyboard.

This is why I'll never be ending an email with 'Regards' ever again.

Where do duck farts come from?

Their buttquacks.

What do you call someone who helps you learn to f**...?

A Tooter (my 9yo daughter made it up)

Archeologists say that in very rare cases, you can experience a mummy f**... in their crypt.

If you get the chance to experience this phenomena, you can call that toot uncommon.

I had a tough conversation with my parents

Dad: knock knock
Me: who's there?
Dad: water
Me: water who?
Dad: water you even doing with your life? I ask you this in the form of a joke because it seems this best relates to the course of your life thus far.

A Collie was talking about how hard he works on the farm where he lives.

A nearby sheep piped up 'YOU don't work hard, all you do is boss US around.' 'WHAT DID YOU SAY' shouted the collie. 'You herd me' the sheep replied

When the king farted, why did nobody laugh?

Because noble gases don't cause reactions.

I'll never forget my Granddad's last words before he kicked the bucket.

'How far do you reckon I can kick this bucket?'

What does the US military and a f**... have in common?

Air Force

A guy goes with his girlfriend to stay at her parents' house for the holidays

The couple live in the city and the parents live on a farm. The boyfriend is unused to the quiet country life and after a couple of days he's pretty bored. His girlfriend's father comes in and says Hey young fella if you're looking for something to do, why not take the dogs out for a bit of hunting? There's a shotgun behind the laundry door. Guy comes back a couple of hours later, the father says How was it?
That was amazing! Have you got any more dogs?

Children are like farts.

You're proud of your own, but other people's are kinda g**....

What did one Egyptian say to the other when they f**... at the same time?

Looks like we've got a Tutankhamen.

Found this one in my 2014 meme stash

A police officer pulled over a car on a deserted highway and told the driver, "Congratulations! You're the first person here today who was wearing a seat belt and now you're entitled to a prize of 1000$. What are you gonna do with your money?"
"Well", replied the man, "I think I'm gonna get a driver's license."
"Oh, Ignore him.", his wife said, "He always speaks nonsense when he's drunk."
"I KNEW IT!", his father bellowed from the backseat, "I KNEW WE WON'T GET FAR IN A STOLEN CAR."
Then came the voice from the trunk, "Are we over the border yet?"

My sister is taking part in a social experiment. She has to wear a Boris is doing his best t-shirt for 2 weeks and see how people react. So far she's been spit on, punched and had a bottle thrown at her!

I'm curious to see what happens when she goes outside.

Do you know why women f**... after they pee?

They can't shake it so they need to blow dry.

So far we have four inches of snow on the ground.

Or as my husband would say...seven inches.

"I own a small allotment...", So far I'm the only person I've heard laugh at this joke.

I own a small allotment. Every night someone throws soil in on top of in. I've absolutely no idea why.
The plot thickens.

Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?

He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these far jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.