Fancy Jokes
129 fancy jokes and hilarious fancy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fancy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Fancy Short Jokes
Short fancy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fancy humour may include short flashy jokes also.
- In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point." We didn't have those fancy hazmat suit you all wear today
- "Hurt me!" she cried, jumping onto the bed and stripping her clothes off seductively... "Alright," I said. "You're a terrible cook and I fancy your sister."
- My parents decided the key to a successful marriage is going out to a fancy restaurant twice a week. My dad goes out Mondays and my mom goes out Fridays.
- What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bisexual hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek? A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie and tie dye watching sci-fi on wifi.
Credits: my bud - If mcdonalds sold fancy steaks they'd call them Filet Mc'gnons ...also it's my 5 year cake day so shower me in internet points or however this works I dunno. Thanks!
- A black man walks into the doctors with a fancy parrot in his shoulder The doctor says "what a magnificent creature, where did you get that?"
The parrot replies "Africa there's millions of them" - What did the regular hotel room say to the fancy hotel room Oh suite!
This was made up by my 11 year old son, I thought it was fist bump worthy. - What do you call a dinner at a fancy restaurant with your 3 year old? Whine & dine
I'll see myself out - I've really got into dating black chicks recently. Not because they take my fancy but I'm really bad at meeting the dad.
- I bumped into my old English teacher that I fancied. "What's new?" she asked.
I said, "An adjective."
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Fancy One Liners
Which fancy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fancy? I can suggest the ones about luxurious and sophisticated.
- How do you properly greet a very fancy duck as you walk by? M'lard
- What do you call a lion with a fancy hat? A dandy lion.
- I ordered giant duck at a fancy restaurant the other day The bill was huge!
- I went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a screwdriver. Turned a few heads.
- What do you all a fancy sea creature? Sofishticated.
- Why do arts graduates like fancy restaurants? Bigger tips.
- I'm going to start selling fancy toilet spray I'll call it Chanel No. 2
- What did the drunk say to the mirror? Fancy meeting me here!
- My friend made some broth from fancy sandals yesterday. It was a Birkenstock
- We didn't have fancy Survivor Bias when I was a kid... and I turned out just fine.
- Kim Jong-un's doctors... Probably fancy a Korea change
- What do you call fancy mayo that falls off the table? Rollie pullie aioli
- What do you call a shish-kebab at a fancy restaurant? A Shish-ke-Robert
- I will stay in this fancy leather for one hour. I prefer you in leather, anyway.
- I decided not to let C into my fancy club. It lacks class.
Fancy Dress Jokes
Here is a list of funny fancy dress jokes and even better fancy dress puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The wife and I went to a bank robber-themed fancy dress party last night. Well I did. She stayed in the car, keeping the engine running.
- Me and the wife went to an 80's themed fancy dress party last week. She didn't want me to go as a pop star... ...but i was adamant
- I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a Pirate, the host said where are your buccaneers? I replied. Under my buckinghat.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger was going to a fancy dress party dressed as Tchaikovsky However, when he found out that someone was already dressed as Tchaikovsky, he said "i'll be Bach".
- i went to a fancy dress party dressed as a globe and didnt speak to anyone all night. I was in a world of my own
- I walked into a fancy dress shop and said to the woman, "I'm going to a party tonight, and I want to go as an A4 piece of paper." She gave me a blank look.
- Everyone loves my "moderately large business agreement" costume at this fancy dress party. I'm kind of a big deal.
- I often go to fancy dress parties dressed as a shark.... Quite honestly, the novelty is wearing a little fin
- Yesterday I encountered a woman with a very extravagant dress, flawless skin, and a really fancy purse. I avoided her since I thought she would judge me by my appearance.
- I went to the fancy dress shop the other day but they couldn't help me complete my wizard costume You just can't get the staff.
Howlingly Hilarious Fancy Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about fancy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fashionable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fancy pranks.
My friend had this really fancy business meeting...
He had this special outfit prepared, but he needed it to be properly fitted, to look nice. I offered to do it but he said he could do it himself
"Fine," I said...
"Suit yourself"
I'll never forget the day I met my wife.
We were at a fancy dress party. She was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate. They'd gone together, dressed as the number ten.
I knew there and then, she was the one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Black Joke
Why do black people have nice clothes, expensive jewelry, and drive fancy cars with rims but live in c**... houses/apartments?
-They haven't figured out how to steal houses yet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do nuns wear fancy l**...?
Sheer habit.
Needed directions in Hollywood last weekend
So last weekend in Hollywood i managed to get lost so i approached a fancy looking black couple and asked for directions . . .
They gave me their baby.
As I went to reach for the largest cucumber....
As I went to reach for the largest cucumber in the supermarket a woman also went to grab it.
"Oh yeah, I bet I know why you want the biggest one," I winked.
"You've got me," she giggled, "do you fancy coming back to mine and watching?"
"No thanks," I replied, "I've got better things to do with my time than stand watching a woman make sandwiches."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mr T and I were thinking about scaling a glass wall.
We were looking at the standard equipment and the fancy equipment too. I selected the most basic suction device for my ascent, and suggested Mr T do likewise.
He looked at me and said, "I ain't using no plain s**...!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Joke from orange is the new black
So a penguin and a farmer walk into a bar. The penguin starts eating the tiny fancy drink umbrellas. The Bartender says to the Farmer, "Hey, your eggplant's gotta pay for those." And so the Penguin says "Dude, he's not an eggplant, he's r**...."
Miley Gets Classy
One day, Miley Cyrus had a business suit on and was carrying a briefcase.
When she walked outside, a man noticed what she was wearing.
"Wow, you're looking fancy. Where are you even going?" the man asked.
She responded "Twerk."
A Texan went to an ivy league party on the East coast...
...and there's this group of fancy ladies standing around.
"Howdy," he said. "Which school did y'all go to?"
"Oh... Yale," one of them replied daintily.
'WHICH SCHOOL DID Y'ALL GO TO?!"
So, I ran into my old Geography Teacher the other day...
and he invited me to his birthday party.
"It's a Geography themed fancy dress party." he said with a grin.
"How's that going to work?" I asked.
"Well, for instance, I'm going as a large Island off the coast of Italy."
"Don't be sicily" I replied...
I went to a fancy restaurant last night and a man was complaining about his escargot.
The waiter just shrugged it off. "I'm sorry sir," the waiter told him. "All snails are final."
I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me...
I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me.
"Fancy buying me a drink?" She said,
"Sure," I replied. "If you let me choose."
"Okay," she grinned. "But how will you know what I want?"
"Well, it's kind of a talent," I smiled. "All I do is look a girl up and down and I know exactly what drink suits her best."
"Okay," she giggled. "You can choose for me."
So I turned to the barman and said, "Diet coke, mate."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was having lunch with Boris, the Estonian IT guy....
He was telling me about the crazy night he had before moving to the US. He said
"I drank so much I go home with two Soviet prostitutes who live together with their fancy grey cat."
"Russian blue?"
"No but Ukrainian gave h**...!"
My wife said to me she wanted to go somewhere fancy....
"somewhere where they serve from the left!" she demanded, so I took her through the drive-thu.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"You fancy my best friend, don't you?" asked my wife.
"If given the choice..." I replied, "I'd rather have s**... with you then her."
"You mean 'than'."
"No."
English and Art teacher talk...
English and Art teacher talk.
English teacher: "What do you teach?"
Art teacher:"Advanced Art."
English teacher:"Hence fancy scarf."
Art teacher:"Yes, what do you teach."
English teacher:"Advanced English"
Art teacher:"Hence hence?"
I once met Bruce Willis
I once met Bruce Willis at a fancy dress party. He was wearing a really shabby looking nun outfit. I was told that he'd worn the same costume to every fancy dress party he'd attended for years. I suppose old habits die hard.
Patrick's School
Mother: "How was school today Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was great mom! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Wow, they do really fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
A jewish couple where walking the streets of Rome on vacation.
They walk past a fancy restaurant and the wife says " mmm that place smells amazing!". The Husband replies " You're right it does smell really good. If you want on the way back to the hotel we can walk by this same place again"
I really just don't like any of these fancy and stinky cheeses.
Maybe I'm just uncultured.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Fancy Dress Party tonight. Going as a m**... guy with Leprosy
Hope I can pull it off.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Honey," said a husband, "I Invited a friend home for dinner."
"What? Are you crazy?" The wife replied.
"The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal."
" I know all that," he said.
"Then why did you invite a friend for dinner?" she asked.
he replied, "because the poor fools thinking about getting married."
What's the difference between obsequious behaviour towards someone important in order to gain advantage and John Wayne Gacy wearing a top hat and monocle?
One is sycophancy and the other is a fancy sicko.
(As far as I'm aware this is an original joke that I created and am quite pleased with)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told the girl I fancy next door I helped kill a man
I was told women love accessories.
A Filipino, a Korean, a Laotian, a Chinese, a Japanese and a Vietnamese go to a fancy restaurant. "Sorry" says the Maitre d' ...
"You can't be seated without a Thai."
Why couldn't the old bike stay upright?
It was *two-tired.*
An oldy, but a goody, I hope you can *handle* it.
Changing *gears*, I *spoke* at a fancy unicycle conference and you know what's different there? *Attire.*
I'm just *pedaling* for upvotes.
So, there was this rich dude...
One day, as he is driving his fancy car down the road, he is singing to himself I love my BMW, I love BMW. He was so wrapped up in his song he missed a turn and hit a tree. Surprisingly he survived, but instead of calling for help he was crying out my BMW, oh my BMW. Just then a good Samaritan drove by and cried out, "Sir, sir, you're bleeding! And my god, your left arm is gone!" The rich dude, horrified, screamed "My Rolex! My Rolex!"
Private investigator
(At a fancy diner with wife and her friend)
Wife's friend: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a private investigator
Wife: Kieth, you're allowed to say gynecologist
Me: People are eating, Linda!
The husband and the wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant
A few minutes later, the dinner was served.
Husband: The food looks great. Let's eat.
Wife: But honey, you always say a prayer before eating at home.
Husband: That's at home, sweetie. I'm sure the chef here knows how to cook.
I fancy having a bit of Rabbit for my dinner tonight.
Could anyone tell me if it's cheaper from a Butchers or a pet shop.?
I was staying at a fancy hotel....
...and it said in the Guest Services, "Dial *75 for Turn-Down Service". So, I dialed *75.
A woman answered the phone saying, "I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on earth!"
It's nice that while I'm traveling, I can still get some things that remind me of home.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man can only have so much s**....
A man can only have so much s**....
Do you know how to tell when he's nearing his limit?
He says "I do" and puts a ring on the finger of a woman in a fancy white dress.
As a Englishman, I feel shame for my countries lack of a unique dish
I mean, look at Italy with their pasta and pizza. Portugal has Peri-Peri sauce, the French have omlettes and fancy bread. And I think we all know how the good the Germans are with ovens.
Would you sleep with me for ten million dollars?
At a fancy dinner party, a man turns to a woman and suddenly says:
- Would you sleep with me for ten million dollars?
The woman giggles.
- Of course I would!
- How about doing it for fifteen dollars?
The woman looks disgusted.
- Why, what kind of woman do you think I am?
- That's already been established. Now we're just haggling about the price.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was disappointed that my friend chose to bring hot dogs to my fancy p**...-luck dinner party.
But, I suppose he could have bratwurst.
Vincent Van Gogh is having a pint…
His mate Gauguin walks in to the bar and says,
Hi Vinny, fancy a beer?
Vincent says,
No thanks , I've got one 'ere… .
I wanted to order food from a fancy restaurant
I didn't want to leave the house, though, so I had them bring the food to me.
I ordered a medium rare steak and foie gras, but when the food arrived my foie gras was missing!
Furious, I drove over to the restaurant and demanded they give me my full order. They did, and before I left I asked them why they did not provide me what I asked for.
The chef said, "Well sir, you said you wanted your meal de-livered."
A man and a woman are on their fourth date at a fancy restaurant.
Things are getting pretty serious.
They look at each other and the man says: "I'm not sure how to say this."
She responds excitedly: "Just say it! Just say it!"
Him: "I don't know if I can."
Her: "Just say it!"
Him: "Wor-chester-shire sauce."
A jewish father was on his death bed with his family around him...
He whispered
"son, come close"
And his son leaned forward so he's inches away from his father. The father grabs a watch from his night stand, a very fancy one, and whispers
"son, this watch has been worn by multiple generations, your great grandfather, your grandfather, and me."
The son with tears on his face says
"Yes father, what about it"
And his father, with his last breaths says:
"We'll, son... Wanna buy it?"
First Date
A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster, champagne...the works. Finally he asked her, "Does your Mother feed you like this at home?" "No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get laid, either."
Took my wife Mary out to a fancy restaurant last night. I had the filet mignon...
Mary had a little lamb.
A man walks into a 5-star restaurant...
A man walks into a fancy 5-star restaurant.
The host says to him: " Good evening sir. Do you have a reservation?"
The man replies : "Yes, actually."
The host asks: "Name?"
And the man replies: " Nah, the name is ok. It's just the atmosphere."
I bumped into an old school friend the other day.
He seemed to be doing very well for himself, fancy clothes, new car. You could tell he was now very successful and wealthy.
I asked him how he had been doing and he said great, I've got loads of money, fancy cars and a big house.
I asked him how he came to be so rich and he replied I've been using animal carcasses and boiling them down to a concentrate and selling that for a profit. I've made a killing on the stocks market.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Empty Glass
The barman says to p**..., Your glass is empty, fancy another one?
Looking puzzled, p**... says, Why would I be needing two empty feckin' glasses?
If you want to learn how to draw superheroes start with Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy
He's just a fancy stick figure
A wife wants a fancy Porsche for her fiftieth birthday
She drops hints to her husband:
"You know we've had a really good year, heck, good decade, fiscally. For my birthday, I'm really hoping for something sleek, maybe baby blue. Something you can really step on and it'll go from 0 to 200 in like .2 seconds..."
The husband nods knowingly. So for her birthday, he buys her a scale.
And that's when the fight started...
Guy goes to a fancy dress party in a green jumpsuit carry a woman by piggy back.....
Doorman: You can't come in mate, you're not in fancy dress
Guy: Yes I am, I'm a tortoise
Doorman: well I can see you're wearing green, but what's with the woman on your back?
Guy: That's Michelle....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As the first fleet rounded the headlands and sailed into botany bay the local Aborigines could see several men looking towards them through big fancy telescopes. One of the Aborigines comments "s**... white man,
can't even play the didgeridoo".
I went to a fancy Italian restaurant but stormed out when I found bugs in my food.
Turned out it was the anty pasto.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man with a wooden eye watches people at the dance...
After always being the b**... of jokes or bullying, he was scared to ask any girl to dance with him. He always had a fancy for Betsy, who was born with a hairlip. He always figured since they shared a similar fate, she might sympathize with him. He finally mustered up enough courage and asked Betsy, "Would you dance with me?" She sprang up excited and said "Would I? Would I?!". The man angrily says, "Well, hairlip! Hairlip!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Squirtle
A man arrives at a fancy dress with a n**... g**... his back.
"I'm a turtle" he says.
Oh.. Who's on your back?
"That's Michelle" he replies.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Got rejected by long term girlfriend,after I took her to dinner at a fancy restaurant,mustered up the courage,got down on my knee and finally proposed
A t**... with my wife.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got one of those fancy b**... sprayers for my toilet, but it never works at night...
I guess I can only use it bidet.
Canadian #1: What can I get for ya there bud?
Canadian #2: Oh I'd like this fancy car please.
Canadian #1: Well how about that, would you like the stock model or can I interest you in some upgrades?
Canadian #2: I'd like all the bells & whistles and upgrades ya got please.
Canadian#1: Well you must be quite wealthy then because that's gonna you an arm & a leg
Canadian #2: Can I pay in two knees?
The wife & I were staying at a fancy high rise hotel when the argument started.
Things didnt get any better as the night went on. She started to threaten that she would jump out the window. In a panic I called the front desk. They asked how could they help? I said you better send body up here right away, the window wont open.
3 farmers.
3 farmers were sitting at the local cafe drinking coffee. The subject of the lottery and what they would do if they won came up.
"I think I would take some time off and go on a cruise. I've always wanted to go on a cruise." Said the first farmer.
"First thing I would do is buy a fancy sports car. I've always wanted a fast car." said the second farmer.
The third farmer was sitting quietly, fidgeting a little. "Come on, what would you do with your millions?" Asked the other two farmers.
Reluctantly the third farmer answered "I reckon I would just go on farming like I have been until the money runs out"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A rich man brings a p**... to a fancy party
The two enter the ballroom with arms in grasp.
The man, with a new suit, clean shave, and an outrageously expensive watch, was clearly dressed to the nines.
The p**..., barely covered and well worked, had been payed handsomely for her time.
The two approach the bar and both order a whiskey, neat; the prim proper elderly waitress responds with a putrid gasp,
I'm sorry, I cannot serve you, as this is the punch line.
