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Family Law Jokes

29 family law jokes and hilarious family law puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about family law that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Family Law Short Jokes

Short family law jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The family law humour may include short family matters jokes also.

  1. My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives... I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
  2. My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives... I️ said, No, in fact, I️ like your mother in law a lot better than I️ like mine
  3. My Wife just accused me of hating her side of the family and relatives. I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
  4. A married couple were fighting... ...when they drove past a farm full of pigs. The husband then asked his wife, "Family of yours?" The wife looked at the pigs, then replied, "Yea, in-laws."
  5. My dream is to marry into a family of lawyers, Open a law firm with my husbands mom, and call it Mother and daughter in law
  6. I don't think I'll be able to get my Mom what she really wants on Mother's Day – a doctor for a son-in-law.
  7. When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, "Marc, with a C."
    Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
  8. My mother in law has a massive case of diarrhea. She won't find out until she gets home and unpacks her luggage...
  9. Cannibal #1: "I can't stand my mother-in-law."
    Cannibal #2: "Why don't you just eat the vegetables?"
  10. Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."

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Family Law One Liners

Which family law one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with family law? I can suggest the ones about family business and divorce lawyer.

  1. I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

Humorous Family Law Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about family law you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean divorce jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make family law pranks.

Horror at the zoo

A man is at the zoo with his family. Suddenly a flustered employee comes up and says
*Sir, sir! There's been a terrible accident!*
The man responds, *What happened?*
*Your mother-in-law fell into the alligator pool!*
The man, supremely calm, says to the worker, *Not my problem! You try to save those alligators.*

A man and his wife were driving down a country road...

A man and his wife were driving down a country road.
They had previously been fighting with each other so they weren't talking at all.
They continued driving until they passed a field full of cows when the wife said, "Family of yours?"
"Yes" replied the husband, "In-laws."

Me and my wife were having an argument about which family we will spend Christmas Day with...

I'm sure many couples can relate. I want to spend it with mine and she obviously wants to spend it with hers. It led to a big argument where she yelled, You like your family way more, you hate my relatives
I replied, That's not true, I like your mother in law way more than mine

Family Matters

A husband and wife are on a long car trip and get into a big argument that eventually ends in an angry silence.
Some time later they pass a pig farm. The husband looks at the pigs and says, "Family of yours?"
The wife replies, "Yup, in-laws."

"John, bad news. Your mother-in-law died."

John is told that his mother-in-law has died. He removes the cross with Jesus from the wall and begins to take Jesus off the cross with a screwdriver. Family asks him: "What the h**... are you doing?" John say: "Jesus set me free, and I'll set him free!"

Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris' Last Will and Testament.

Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris' Last Will and Testament.
"To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and 1 million dollars.
To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the new Jaguar.
To my daughter Shirley, I leave my yacht and $250,000.
And to my brother-in-law Aaron, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill."

A man and his wife just had an argument, and are very angry with each other.

The man is driving his wife to a family gathering when they suddenly see a herd of pigs crossing the road in front of them. Seizing the chance, the husband cheerily asks:
- "Hey, look! Are they some relatives of yours?
And his wife quickly replies,
- "Yeah, my parents-in-law!"

Fred and Susan were having their usual loud...

...and endless argument about family reunions.
At last, Fred relented. "I'm so sorry, Sweetheart. I didn't mean all those hateful things I said about your family. As a matter of fact, I like your mother-in-law a whole lot better than I do mine."

My Family was mourning the recent loss of my Brother in Law

"I can't believe he's gone" my Wife said
"Me Neither, and to think i just ran into him the other day". i said
"Oh Dear, I cant believe he's just gone all of the sudden, he was always such a stubborn person"
"Yeah i know, He didn't move an inch when i ran into him at the crosswalk".

A guy once dated a very nice girl, and had a fair relationship with her family.

One night after she proposed to me, her sister came up and said: "I know you liked my sister all the way, but if you'd like one wild time before the wedding, come up to my room.
He immediately headed to the front door, and was met by his father-in-law with tears: "I always knew you were the right choice for our daughter, Wellcome to the family!"
Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in your car

Divorce Joke my Family Law Professor Told

Elderly couple, 102 and 98 years old respectively. And they are getting a divorce. Judge asks them why they are getting one now...
"we were waiting for the kids to die"

My wife and I are planning our 21st wedding anniversary celebration.

Here lies the problem: she wants to go to Outback Steakhouse, I want s**..., and my mother-in-law thinks we should renew our vows at church. Well, I'm all for compromise, so we should have s**... outback of the church.

Joke told by my pastor

There was a couple riding in a car together, arguing. Neither wanted to concede the argument, so they didn't stop. Eventually, they both got tired out, and settled into an angry silence.
A few miles down the road, they passed a barn full of the most disgusting pigs and cows imaginable. The angry wife sniped at her husband, "Are those part of your family?"
The husband responded, "Yes, they're my in-laws."

Q: What is a difference between "

accident " and "tragedy"?
A: Suppose you with the family are beside a pool. You suddenly push your mother in law into the pool - so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets out, in that case, it's a tragedy!

Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family.


"I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one.
"That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"

While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him.
Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"
"What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly.
Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"

A police officer pulls over a car

A police officer follows a car for many miles, and surprisingly for him, the driving is just perfect. The driver obeys all traffic signs, blinks when necessary, does not speed. The police officer is surprised and pulls over the car. In the car there is a family - a guy driving, his wife in the passenger seat and his mother-in-law sleeping in the back seat.
The guy rolls down the window "Is there a problem officer?"
"Hello, Sir. I see that your driving is perfect and pulled you over to thank you. May I inform you that you won this months $ 5000 safest driver award. Here is the check. What do you want to do with this money?"
The guy: "Wow thanks man, I am going to buy me a driving license"
Guys wife: "Don't listen to him officer, he always acts s**... when he's drunk and s**..."
The mother-in-law wakes up and sees the police officer "Jack, I told you we wouldn't get far in a stolen car"
Suddenly, the trunk pops and the father-in-law appears "Are we over the border yet?"