Family Group Jokes
18 family group jokes and hilarious family group puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about family group that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Family Group Short Jokes
Short family group jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The family group humour may include short therapy group jokes also.
- Want to follow social distancing guidelines but still meet with your friends and family? Just gather in groups of three, as there will be 6 feet between all of you :)
- There are two kinds of people: those who know the meaning of the word 'inflammable', and I would like to offer my condolences to the grieving families of the second group.
- My mom just posted in our family group: "It's our fat ones birthday today!" She is referring to our cat.
10 minutes later, I get a message from my dad: "Happy birthday kid." - Growing up was hard for me because my family was constantly moving. We were all in a dance group together.
- Worst dad jokes are emoticons Had a group message with family and my sister wanted to go get coffee. So my dad sent this
*$ Enjoy - What do a group of necrophiliacs tell their families they're doing when they're going to hang out. "I'm off to crack open a cold one with the boys."
I mean...not technically lying is it? - Did you here about the support group for dads who make dumb jokes around their families? Yeah, it's "fo' pas".
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Family Group One Liners
Which family group one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with family group? I can suggest the ones about family business and family matters.
- What do you call a group of people who smoke together? A joint family
Family Group Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about family group you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean family reunion jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make family group pranks.
Three vampires are sitting on the graveyard wall.
Three vampires are sitting on the graveyard wall.
The first says that he is really hungry and flys into the night. After half an hour he returns and his mouth is full of blood. The other two ask him: "where did you get that?" He answers: "Do you see that little light across the hill? It was a little family at a camping trip. Delicious!"
The second vampire starts in the air and returns 15minutes later, the whole face covered with blood. The others ask jealousy: "Where have you been?" Smiling he answers: "You guys see that group of lights down there? It was a wedding with over 20guests. I don't have to eat for a week!"
Finally the third vampire starts into the dark sky, and returns about five minutes later. His whole body, top to bottom is covered in blood.
Exited the other two ask:"Man where did you go?!"
"Do you see that tree right there?"
"Yes"
"Well, I didn't"
Santa and his wife had a messy divorce after they both got colostomies.
After encouragement from friends and family, they both joined the support group for people with colostomies ironically named The Semicolon. Due to the help and support they got, they ended up remarrying.
Two independent Clauses were able to be joined as a result of The Semicolon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Positivity
Was discussing the power of positivity with family members. Told them I could turn any situation into a positive one.
About a month later one of our cousins passed. He was a very heavy drinker & s**.... At the f**... another cousin came up to a group of us talking & said let's see you turn THIS into a positive. I thought for a minute…and realized our cousin was being cremated. That's when it hit me. I told the group, the good news is he quit drinking, and a few days from now when the flames die down, he'll have quit smoking too.
Here are some few movie jokes:
The Shining: A family's first Airbnb experience goes very wrong.
• The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry.
• Titanic: Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge.
• Beauty and the Beast: Stockholm syndrome works.
• The Chronicles of Narnia: Kid comes out of the closet.
Three old friends met at a bar, and one asked the group, When we die, what do we want to be the final words of our loved ones when they look over our casket?
I want them to say that I was a loving and loyal husband and father who always put his family first , the first friend said.
Well, said the second friend, I want them to say that I was a man who never gave up on my dreams and lived a very fulfilling life.
As for me , said the third friend, I want them to say, 'Hey look! He's still moving!'
Golf jokes today is it? Here's mine
A three-man group, a doctor, a priest, and an engineer are playing a golf course on a beautiful summer day. After a few holes they realize the group ahead of them is progressing incredibly slowly; the doctor flags down the groundskeeper and asks "What's taking them so long? I've got patients to see this afternoon!"
The grounds keeper explains, "Well, we had a fire in the clubhouse a few years back. A group of firefighters was able to save it, but they lost their sight in the blaze. Since then, we allow them to play for free whenever they like."
The doctor responds, "That's terrible! I'll speak with the ophthalmologists I know, perhaps one of them can help these poor men."
The priest nods before adding, "I'll keep these men in my prayers and see about getting donations from my congregation for the families"
The engineer looks at the doctor, priest, and groundskeeper and asks, "Why can't they just play at night?"
Bad News
In the Hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
I'm afraid I am the bearer of bad news, he said as he surveyed the worried faces, The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a length of time, someone asked, Well, how much does a brain cost? The Doctor quickly responded, $5000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain.
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, Why is the male brain so much more?
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and then to the entire group said, It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've been used.
A Bible group study leader says to his group, “What would you do if you knew you only had four weeks left before the great Judgment Day?” A gentleman says, ”I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives.” “Very good!” says the group leader. One lady speaks up and says enthusiastically, “I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction.” “That's wonderful!” the group leader comments. One gentleman in the back finally speaks up loudly and says, “I would go to my mother-in-laws house for the four weeks.” The group leader asks, “Why your mother-in-law’s home?” “Because that will make it the longest four weeks of my life!”
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In South Los Angeles, a fourplex was destroyed by fire.
A Nigerian family of six con artists lived on the first floor, and all six died in the fire. A black Islamic group of seven welfare cheaters, all illegally in the country from Kenya, lived on the second floor, and they, too, all perished in the fire. Six Los Angeles g**... ex-cons lived on the third floor and they died as well.
One white couple lived on the top floor. The couple survived the fire.
Jesse Jackson, John Burris, and Al Sharpton were furious. They flew to Los Angeles and met with the fire chief on television. They loudly demanded to know why the Nigerians, Muslims, and gangbangers all died in the fire, and only the white couple survived.
The fire chief said, "Please don't get upset. The reason those fellow citizens survived was because they were at work."