Family Bible Jokes
8 family bible jokes and hilarious family bible puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about family bible that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Quirky and Hilarious Family Bible Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What is a good family bible joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
The thief that stole my diary and my Bible died today.
My thoughts and prayers are with his family.
A poorly translated Dutch joke: A family called "Vermeer" has a construction supply shop
Next to the front door they have a cross with Jesus hanging on it with the text "for two thousand years, Jesus has hanged here with nails of Vermeer."
Their shop was in The Veluwe, i.e. the Dutch Bible belt, so the local municipality got upset and told the family to change it.
So the family removed the cross and changed the text to "here jesus fell off the wall, with the nails of Vermeer this wouldn't have happened at all."
Bible lesson
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between pages.
"Momma, look what I found." the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered.
"It's Adam's suit!"
Did you guys know that handicapped people were mentioned in the beginning of the bible?
Cain's family was dis-Abel'd.
A little boy opened the big, old family Bible
with fascination and looked at the old pages as he turned them.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in his voice, the young boy answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"
The blob.
A child in class, when asked to draw a picture of the Holy Family, produced a picture in which Mary and the baby sat on a recognisably donkeyish steed, led by Joseph. on the ground nearby lay a black blob.
"What is that?" asked the teacher. "The flea," answered the artist.
"What flea, dear?" asked the puzzled teacher.
"The one the Angel told Joseph to take."
Eventually, puzzled but not liking to challenge an imaginative child, the teacher checked out her Bible. And there it was : Matthew 2:13 "......the angel of the Lord saying, Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and flee into Egypt..........."
A family decides to invite their priest over for dinner...
They have a great dinner talking about religion and how it helps with their daily lives. After dinner when the priest leaves, the wife comes back to the table to find out that one of their silver spoons is missing. The wife asks her husband if it might be the priest but the husband says that it cant be as he is a righteous man. The wife decides to let it go.
The following year they decide to invite the priest for dinner again. This time as the priest sits down at the table, the wife cannot help herself but ask if the priest had taken their spoon last year. The priest looks at her and says, I left it between the pages of your bible.
Last Words
There was a man in the hospital who was very old and most likely not making it out so his family went to the church to get the pastor to say goodbye and the hospital, so the next day the pastor visits the man in the hospital, but the man suddenly is gasping for air and can't breath so he grabs a pen and paper to write his last words he hands it to the pastor and died. The pastor takes the note and folds it into his pocket and ran to get the nurse. A week later at the mans f**... the pastors is reading from the Bible and remembers the not in his pocket so he opens it up and reads it to the congregation, it read: "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"
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