False Teeth Jokes
22 false teeth jokes and hilarious false teeth puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about false teeth that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest False Teeth Short Jokes
Short false teeth jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The false teeth humour may include short missing teeth jokes also.
- Be true to your teeth Or they will be false to you!
(My dentist laid this zinger on me during my 6mo check up today) - Dirty Pig Customer is disgusted when she sees a baker crimping a pie with his false teeth.
Have you now got a tool for that job, you filthy pig
Yes, I use that for the doughnuts!! - I am a waiter in need of false teeth. Do I need to look for a new job? I don't think indentured servants are legal any more.
- I couldn't afford a set of false teeth, but I found a guy who would make me a set in exchange for me doing some work around his house. I guess you could say it was indentured servitude.
- Did you hear about the crocodile with false teeth? The birds refused to clean them because it was in-denture servitude.
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False Teeth One Liners
Which false teeth one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with false teeth? I can suggest the ones about straight teeth and teeth.
- What do you call a butler with false teeth? An indentured servant.
- I got a guy who makes false teeth for me. He's an indentured servant.
- What do stars and false teeth have in common? They both come out at night.
- Everything that comes out of this o**...'s mouth is a lie. Even his teeth are false.
Cheeky False Teeth Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about false teeth you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad teeth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make false teeth pranks.
Old Man Jack married an old maid
Life had been hard on old Ethel. But they were truly in love, and their families agreed it was best for them to live out their final days in joy.
On their wedding night, Jack lay on the bed and watched his new bride undress.
She took out her glass eye and placed it in a velvet case.
Next, she removed her false teeth and put them in a glass of water.
Taking off her wig, she placed it on a small bust on the dresser.
She removed her prosthetic leg, and stood it beside the chair.
Jack finally spoke: "When you get to the part I'm waiting for, just toss it over."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't Do That In Public
A boy and his mother stood looking at a dentist's showcase. "If I had to have false teeth, I'd take that pair," said the small boy, pointing.
"Hush, w**...," interposed the mother quickly, shaking his arm. "Haven't I told you it's bad manners to pick your teeth in public?"
Eyes and Teeth
Two men are drinking in a bar. One turns to the other and says, I bet you $100 that I can bite my eye.
The second fellow thinks to himself, I guess he's had about enough, so he replies, OK, show me.
The first man takes out his glass eye and bites it. So the second man has to pay. A while later the first man says, I bet you $100 I can bite my other eye.
The second man thinks, well, he can't have two glass eyes. He obviously can see. So he says, All right, show me.
The first man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Islamic t**... blows himself up and ascends to paradise.
When he gets there he's greeted by Allah and an elderly lady who immediately wraps her frail arms round the t**..., removes her false teeth and gives him a huge sloppy kiss.
Confused, the t**... says, "Allah, I'm sorry to question your benevolence, but I thought there would be 72 virgins awaiting my arrival?"
Allah replies, "This is widely misconcepted my child. You've done us proud, now enjoy the rest of eternity with this 72 year old v**..."
False teeth.
A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.
The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.
The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's' teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up.
President's Day jokes
Q. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?
A. Because he couldn't lie.
Q. What do you call George Washington's false teeth?
A. Presidentures!
Q. What would George Washington be if he were alive today?
A. Really, really, really old!
Abraham Lincoln made many humorous quotes and jokes in his lifetime:
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.
No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
Two elderly men are out fishing on a lake.
They are having a great time together until the oldest of the two sneezes and spits his false teeth into the water. He quickly tried to reach for them but it was too late, they are gone. They continue fishing hoping that they might get lucky and get the teeth back. Suddenly the youngest thinks of a joke. He takes out his own teeth and puts them on the hook of his fishing rod. "Well, look what I just got here": he said and he gave the teeth to his older friend. Happy with his luck the man puts his teeth back in. "What are the odds. These aren't my teeth." he says and he throws them back into the water.
A man walks into a bar and exclaims...
"I bet anyone here five dollars that I can bite my own eye!"
The man receives a multitude of five dollar bills but to the annoyance of the givers of the five dollar bills, the man grins and pulls out his glass eye. After biting the eye, the man buys a drink and exclaims for a second time...
"I bet anyone in here ten dollars I can bite my other eye!"
Again, the man receives a multitude of bills, now ten dollar bills from people we don't believe the man could possibly have two glass eyes, but to the annoyance of the givers of the ten dollar bills, the man grins and pulls out his false teeth.
An elderly couple go to a restaurant
One day, an elderly couple walk into a restaurant.
They sit down and order one meal.
When the waiter serves the meal, the woman splits everything in half and shares it with her husband. The meal, the salad, and the drink.
Intrigued by this strange behavior, the guy sitting next to them asks the couple if he can buy them an extra meal.
The woman tells him that there is no need for that. She explains to him that she and her husband took an oath to share everything they have and split things in half whenever they can.
"Fine" says the man. "But why are you not eating your food? Why are you watching your husband eat instead?".
The woman answers him: As I said, we share everything. We only have one Denture.
^^Denture: ^^Set ^^of ^^false ^^teeth.