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False Jokes

135 false jokes and hilarious false puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about false that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article examines the phenomenon of false jokes and their implications. It looks into the various meanings behind false claims, from falsehoods in advertising and false alarms to false teeth and false eyelashes. It also considers the implications of false positives, pseudo claims, and unfounded or fraudulent assertions. Find out more about false jokes and their implications in this article.

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Funniest False Short Jokes

Short false jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The false humour may include short true jokes also.

  1. A guy walked into a prosthetic limbs store. He picked up a false shoulder, arm and wrist.
    The store attendant asked "Would you like a hand with that?"
  2. Asiana Airlines will be filing a lawsuit against KTVU for its inappropriate and racist names that were falsely broadcasted mid day Friday 7/12... ....said Asiana's attorney Wi Su Yu
  3. After 8 years Americans prove the rumor to be false. They went black and now they are going back.
  4. My new toothpaste is false advertising It said, "Guaranteed whiteness in 14 days."
    Well, it's been 15 days and I'm still Asian.
  5. Be true to your teeth Or they will be false to you!
    (My dentist laid this zinger on me during my 6mo check up today)
  6. What do you say to a painting that has been falsely accused of being a fake? You've been framed.
  7. Breaking News: Coup Underway - Trump takes control of senate and declares martial law! Oh wait... That was Palpatine.
    False alarm.
  8. Bit of a dad joke - trains in jail Q. Why are trains always being falsely imprisoned?
    A. Because of their loco motives
  9. I saw where they pulled all the Steve Irwin sunscreen off the market for false advertising. It didn't protect against harmful rays.
  10. Three "facts" school taught me that turned out to be false 1. pluto is a planet
    2. You won't always have a calculator in your pocket
    3. Girls don't like having their hair pulled

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False One Liners

Which false one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with false? I can suggest the ones about truth and fake.

  1. Thought I heard someone say Hello in Arabic But it was a false Salaam
  2. !false It's funny because it's true.
  3. How Long is a battleship. True or false? False. How Long is a man from China.
  4. What is False Information spelled backwards? False Information
  5. I was falsely accused of throwing batteries at people All charges were dropped
  6. Did you hear the joke about the false piece of cloth? It was fabricated.
  7. What did true say to false? Stop boolean me
  8. What do you call a butler with false teeth? An indentured servant.
  9. I don't meant to brag, but I'm the world champion in false modesty.
  10. If Whole Foods sells sliced apples, Is it false advertising?
  11. I got a guy who makes false teeth for me. He's an indentured servant.
  12. What do stars and false teeth have in common? They both come out at night.
  13. How does a woman with breast implants sing? With a false set-o
  14. Why shouldn't you trust fake owls? Because they tell you false-hoots
  15. I have good false memory I can misspell every single word in the dictionary.

True Or False Jokes

Here is a list of funny true or false jokes and even better true or false puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • True false tests Why did the school principal forbid the use of true/false tests? It was part of the school's anti Boolean campaign.
  • I didn't really want to take my friend's true or false test But he wouldn't take no for an answer
  • Eurt ton spelled backwards is false No, I was joking, it's not true
  • Is it true there is a sub for everything? False.
    Haven't seen a sub for deez nuts
  • How do you tell if water is true or false? Bring it to a bool.
  • True or false? Kerry Katona actually owns a cat.
  • I never understood the statement: "This statement is false." It's not true.
  • True or False A german u-boat was sunk because of a malfunctioning toilet.
  • It's true that the following punchline is the best It's false that the previous setup is the worst
  • How do programmers become immortal With one fundamental change
    mortality = true;
    mortality = false;

True False Jokes

Here is a list of funny true false jokes and even better true false puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Every word of this joke is true True true true true true true true false
    I'm also a liar
  • What is true and false at the same time? This
  • How long is a battleship. True or false? Wong! How long is a China man.
  • The statement below is true... The statement above is false.
  • true or false, kanye west f**... during the recording of his latest single? False, but he did have a lil' pump.
False joke, true or false, kanye west f**... during the recording of his latest single?

False Teeth Jokes

Here is a list of funny false teeth jokes and even better false teeth puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Dirty Pig Customer is disgusted when she sees a baker crimping a pie with his false teeth.
    Have you now got a tool for that job, you filthy pig
    Yes, I use that for the doughnuts!!
  • How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night!
  • I am a waiter in need of false teeth. Do I need to look for a new job? I don't think indentured servants are legal any more.
  • I got a set of false teeth put in but couldn't pay for them, so now I have to help out at the dentist's office I guess that makes me an indentured servant
  • I couldn't afford a set of false teeth, but I found a guy who would make me a set in exchange for me doing some work around his house. I guess you could say it was indentured servitude.
  • Did you hear about the crocodile with false teeth? The birds refused to clean them because it was in-denture servitude.
  • Everything that comes out of this o**...'s mouth is a lie. Even his teeth are false.

False Advertising Jokes

Here is a list of funny false advertising jokes and even better false advertising puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If olive oil is made from olives and coconut oil is made from coconut what is baby oil made from? Mineral oil, Aloe Vera Extract, vitamin E, Fragrance and false advertising.
  • Diaper companies should be sued for false advertising. Not once have they held the 22-37 pounds they promised.
  • Life cereal uses false advertising... I poured it on my grandma and she still didn't wake up.
  • The Investigation into Elon Musk's False Advertising Scandal Enters the Fifth Week. Elongate is really drawn out.
  • What do you do if you have an ugly kid with a hot partner? Sue for false advertising
  • Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
    Chuck Norris had two 8-b**... of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.

False Leg Jokes

Here is a list of funny false leg jokes and even better false leg puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • "HEY, is that a rare T-Rex fossil leg? "Nope, fossil arm"
    Pronounced false alarm. Nobody got it last time and I think it's good.
False joke, "HEY, is that a rare T-Rex fossil leg?

Amusing & Witty False Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about false you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean incorrect jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make false pranks.

A New Study Conducted on Asians (A joke I came up with,but still not sure if a repost)

A new study conducted on Asians shows that the long held to be true stereotype is partially false. In fact, only 50% of Asians have small p**....
The other 50% are women.

Did you hear about the guy who was caught hiding i**... immigrants in Prague?

He got prison for caching false Czechs.

There was a dwarf fortune-teller who was wanted by the police...

It appears he was guilty of fraud and scammed people out of thousands of dollars with false predictions. When the police put out the 'wanted' posters for him they just read as follows:
Small medium at large.

How many MRAs does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't see what that has to do with false r**... accusations.

According to studies...

They say 99% of statistics are false

Sodium lost its electron...

... and its loving best friend, Chlorine, who had sneakily stolen its electron, asked Sodium if it was sure it had lost its electron. Sodium responded, "I'm positive it was stolen." Chlorine retorted with false disbelief, "You salty cation."

I made a false deity out of bubble wrap today

I call Him Pop Idol

That's it, I'm done dating comedians...

I don't want to get lol'd into a false sense of security again.

Three ladies.

Three ladies went out to the flee market. A blonde, a redhead and a brunette. They found a magic mirror that told them this "each of you has to say something about herself, if it's true I'll grant you a wish but if it's false I'll kill you ". The ladies agreed, and the redhead said "i have the cutest boyfriend" and the mirror killed her. The brunette said "i have the prettiest car " and the mirror killed her. And the blonde said "wait I'm thinking " and the mirror killed her.
Fin.

Rumour...

I heard a rumour that a man in town is selling a fake bedside-clock.
It's a false alarm.

A robber burst into a bank brandishing a gun and yelled at the teller.

"Give me the money! One false move and you're geography!"
The teller said "Don't you mean history?"
The robber screamed "Don't change the subject!"

So the 2017 World Chess Championships are being held in Iran. There's going to be some rule changes:

Queens won't be able to move without the king's permission, and bishops will face summary execution for spreading the word of the false prophet

There are two types of people

Those who use false dichotomies, and those who don't.

As a Christian I can't Believe there are Billy Idol Cover Bands

The Bible is very clear that we should not have False Idols

Two chemists walk into a bar

The bartender asks "What shall I get you two tonight"
The first chemist says "I'll take it easy tonight, just give me H2O"
The second chemist says "I'll have some H2O as well"
The first chemist is then filled with anger as the joke he heard gave him false hope in his assassination attempt

You know what they say about blanket statements?

They're all false.

PSA: All generalizations are false

Don't use them.

They say people who play Tetris are more organised

But it's false, they can't be organised.They're too busy playing Tetris.

I woke up this morning and thought I had tunnel vision.

Luckily it was a false alarm, the wife just fancied a 69.

Joel Osteen may not be the best preacher...

but he is certainly not a false profit

What do you call a fake field that sings alone?

False meadow.

The worst thing in the English language is the inconsistency, worst in French is false cognates...

...and wurst in German is sausage.

Two programmers are talking about life...

Programmer 1: Does my life have meaning?
Programmer 2: False
Programmer 1: Stop Boolean me

A guy walked up to me at school

And picked me up. He yelled "TRUE" in my ear and walked away. Then in the middle of the hall he kept shouting to me "FALSE". Finally he walked up to me when I was with my crush and said "true true true true false false". That's when I snapped.
"Stop boolean me!!"

What do you call it when a cow gives a false media report?

Fake moos.

Two friends were climbing a mountain

When suddenly one of them took a false step and fell from the top, disappearing from the other's sight.
As they were equipped with radio equipment, the other tried to contact him immediately with his, "Well, well, are you okay?"
"I'm fine!"
The friend sighed in relief, and kept asking, "Do you have a fracture?"
"No, none!"
"Then go back up and I'll wait for you here."
"Sure, as soon as I get to the bottooooooom!"

Kendrick Lamar's been dropping a lot of false modesty since his grammy win...

you could call it a Humble brag.

Dwayne Johnson was once called out for claiming false Irish heritage.

It was a sham rock.

Some people like to categorize others as either "dog people" or "cat people" ...

...but I consider this a false dog-cat-omy.

Who said fat people don't like exercising?

That is totally false because fat people love walking to the buffet table.

I tried to convinthe thomeone today was the 9th

but they thaw through my false pretenthes.

In the news recently: men with funny haircuts fight to rule the world, throwing false accusations, their supporters being all fanatic about it all.

Come on guys, it's only The World Cup.

Don't Do That In Public

A boy and his mother stood looking at a dentist's showcase. "If I had to have false teeth, I'd take that pair," said the small boy, pointing.
"Hush, w**...," interposed the mother quickly, shaking his arm. "Haven't I told you it's bad manners to pick your teeth in public?"

Two amoebae are floating along in a prehistoric ocean.

Amoeba 1: Weird...I think I just took in a breath of air.
Amoeba 2: Nah. You're probably imagining things.
Amoeba 1: Yeah. False aspirations, I guess.

This is not a joke,ignore the next statement

This is a joke ,the first statement is false

His testimony was like a 0 on a core i9....

It was fast...but every bit was false.

Reporter 1: The cult members seem totally brainwashed, and still place their blind faith in a false savior offering hollow promises of salvation!

Reporter 2: And that concludes our report from the White House.

I've been diagnosed with paranoia today.

If you ask me, this is only supposed to give me a false sense of security.

There are 13 types of people in the world.

1. Those that understand false dichotomy jokes.

I needed new false walls for my new house.

Unfortunately Walmart did not live up to its name.

My friend told me a statistic today, however I found it was false

Did you know 80% of statistics are false?

"There are a lot of false quotes on the internet."

-Abraham Lincoln

My government is spreading obviously false covid-19 info about x-mas parties

Here in Sweden the government lies and says that we can have Christmas gatherings of up to 8 people without any problems. Such obvious bull! Who knows 8 people without any problems?

Michael takes an exam

Michael is taking an exam at his school. All questions are True or False questions. He hasn't studied so he decides to answer all his questions by flipping a coin.

Once the time is up, The teacher collects everyones exams but notices that Michael is still working. The teacher asks why he's still flipping the coin. Michael replies by saying I was just checking my answers.

Its really hard to take women with false eyelashes seriously.

It's like watching 2 tarantulas scream for attention.

My 6 year old daughter just said to me..

"Dad, don't you find it inherently dishonest when people fabricate a false narrative using children to make the underlying message more humorous?"
I dunno what she talking about. Kids, eh?

There are two types of people in the world…

People who think there are two types of people in the world
And people who understand false dichotomies.

A magician performs magic tricks on the Titanic before it sinks.

In the crowd there is a parrot that somehow always knows whats going on.
He pulls a string of hankerchiefs out of his sleeve: "AWCK, he pulls it from his inner pocket!"
He pulls a rabbit out of a hat: "AWCK, A false bottom!"
He saws a girl in half: "AWCK, there are two girls!"
Then disaster strikes, and the ship goes down and only the magician and the parrot are left on a makeshift raft. "AWCK! okay, I give up, how did you make the ship disappear?!"

An intern recently started working for an IT programming firm.

Everyday he went into work he was always harassed by his peers, they kept saying he was never being true always being false.
#
So I had to step in, I couldn't let them
keep Boolean him.

What do Kim Kardashian and drug smugglers have in common?

False bottoms

Canada has no president

False or Trudeau

False joke, Canada has no president

jokes about false