False Alarm Jokes
8 false alarm jokes and hilarious false alarm puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about false alarm that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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False Alarm Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good false alarm joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Breaking News: Coup Underway - Trump takes control of senate and declares martial law!
Oh wait... That was Palpatine.
False alarm.
Rumour...
I heard a rumour that a man in town is selling a fake bedside-clock.
It's a false alarm.
I woke up this morning and thought I had tunnel vision.
Luckily it was a false alarm, the wife just fancied a 69.
"HEY, is that a rare T-Rex fossil leg?
"Nope, fossil arm"
Pronounced false alarm. Nobody got it last time and I think it's good.
There's an old Yugoslav Joke mocking police corruption
where a policeman returns home unexpectedly and finds his wife n**... in their marital bed, obviously hot and excited. Suspecting that he surprised her with a lover, he starts to look around the room for a hidden man. The wife goes pale when he leans down to look under the bed; but after some brief whispering, the husband rises with a satisfied, smug smile and says Sorry my love, false alarm. There is no one under the bed!, while his hand tightly clutches several high denomination banknotes.
I knew it was a false alarm the whole time...
Since when has The Weeknd held a consent in Hawaii?
Now that our children are getting a little bit older, my wife and I decided we needed to use secret "code words" to indicate when we want to have s**..., so our kids will have no idea what we're talking about...
...so, we decided on the words relating to "typewriter."
This morning, I said to my wife that I wanted to, "type a letter" after breakfast.
My wife responded, "You can't type a letter right now, because there's a red ribbon in the typewriter."
I gave up, went in to the bedroom to use the computer and after about 2 minutes, my wife slunk in and purred, "False alarm, you can type that letter now."
I blushed and sputtered, "I already wrote the letter by hand."
Exam By Chance
A young student reported for a final examination that consisted of only true/false questions.
The student took a seat in the hall, stared at the test for five minutes, removed a coin from his pocket and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet. Heads meant true, tails meant false.
The young student finished the exam in 30 minutes, while the rest of the class was sweating it out.
Suddenly, during the last few minutes, the young student began desperately throwing the coin and sweating profusely.
The moderator, alarmed, approached the student and asked what was going on.
"Well, I finished the exam in half an hour," said the student, "but I thought I ought to recheck my answers."
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