Falling Tree Jokes
134 falling tree jokes and hilarious falling tree puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about falling tree that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Falling Tree Short Jokes
Short falling tree jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The falling tree humour may include short fallen tree jokes also.
- If a tree falls..... A tree falls in the forest but doesn't make a sound.
Hunter in camouflage gear: "WHAT THE HECK???!"
Tree: "I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!" - What's green, fuzzy, has four legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.
- An emo and an apple fall out of a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, the emo is stopped by the rope.
- A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
- Why did Isaac Newton's son know so much about gravity? The apple didn't fall far from the tree.
- A tree falls on a woman. Does it make a sound? Idk. The better question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?
- Two nuts were hanging out in a tree. One slipped and started to fall. The other one said Don't worry man, I'm a cashew
- What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
- If a tree falls in the woods, and there are no English majors around to hear it... does is lay on the ground, or lie?
- I heard the Toronto Maple Leafs now have the milk board as their sponsor. Now they only have to put in 2% of the effort.
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Falling Tree One Liners
Which falling tree one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with falling tree? I can suggest the ones about climbing tree and falling.
- What's green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table
- What's big and white and will kill you if it falls out a tree? A freezer.
- Why did the polynomial tree fall over? It didn't have any real roots
- What is big green and fuzzy and kills you when it falls out of a tree? A pool table
- Friends are like trees They fall down when you hit them with an axe
- How do you make leaves fall off of trees? You don't - they do it autumn-atically
- What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo? The leaf, the rope stops the emo.
- What did the tree say to the lumberjack? I'm falling for you
- What's yellow and you will die if it falls on you from a tree? A tractor.
- Why did the tree fall on the computer? It wanted to log in.
- How do you make a guy with one arm fall out of a tree? Wave
- What's green got 6 legs and if it falls out of a tree it'll kill you ? A pool table
- Good friends are like trees They both fall if you hit them hard enough with an axe.
- Why do trees drop their leaves in the fall? It's autumn-atic.
- Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.
Falling Tree Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about falling tree you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tree falls jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make falling tree pranks.
An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first?
The apple because the rope catches the black person.
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.
If money really did grow on trees, what would be everyone's favorite season? Fall.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it...
...then my i**... logging business is a success.
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when
a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey Hey! what are you doing? The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so s**... that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the s**... lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says Hey, MONKEY! The Monkey looks down and says FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?
Why did the squirrel fall dead from the tree?
Because it's No Nut November.
A little lizard
A little lizard is walking through the jungle one day and spots a koala bear up in a tree.
"Hey, what are you doing?" asks the little lizard. Koala bear replies, "I'm getting high, come up and join me."
So the little lizard climbs the tree and shares a joint with the koala bear. Pretty soon the little lizard gets thirsty, he spots the river and says he's going to go get a drink. So the little lizard climbs down the tree, walks over to the river and as he is drinking he ends up falling in. An alligator saw this and rushes over to help the little lizard out of the water.
"What the heck are you doing?" asks the alligator.
"Well, I was getting high with the koala bear in the tree and then I got thirsty and then...."
"Whoa, wait a minute. You were getting high with a koala bear? I've got to see this." Says the alligator as he goes walking off into the jungle.
The alligator spots the koala bear in the tree and shouts up "Hey, what are you doing up there?"
The koala bear looks down and says "Shiiiiiiiiiiit, Dude, how much water did you drink?"
What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest?
Timbuuuuuurrrrrrrrton~!
Three part joke
Why did the kid fall out of the tree?
I shot him
Why did the second kid fall out?
I stapled them together
Why did the third kid fall out?
Peer pressure
It's black, and when it falls out of a tree your piano breaks.
Your piano.
Fill in the blank: Friends are like_____
mine is "Friends are like trees, if you hit them with an axe they fall over."
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint...
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey Hey! what are you doing? The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so s**... that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the s**... lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says Hey, MONKEY! The Monkey looks down and says FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?
Two Mexicans were walking through the desert...
After days without food or water, one of them spot a tree on the horizon.
"Look ese" one of them says. "Is a bacon tree!"
The other Mexican becomes excited, and starts running towards the tree. When he is only a few yards away, a hail of bullets hit him, and he falls to the ground. With his last breath he shouts to his friend.
"Run ese, is no bacon tree. Is a ham-bush"
So an Israeli and an Iranian are sitting under a tree...
A caterpillar falls on the Israeli, who looks at it in disgust and flicks it onto the Iranian. The Iranian pops it into his mouth and eats it without a second glance.
A few minutes later, another caterpillar lands on the Israeli. The Israeli turns to the Iranian and says, "Would you like to buy a caterpillar?"
Monkeys falling out of trees
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.
A man out of work...
...sees an opening at the zoo. The head zookeeper says to him "Our ape just died and it's too expensive to replace him. Can you dress up in an ape suit and run around the ape pen? The man, desperate for a job, agrees. The next day, he does his thing as the ape, but while hopping from tree to tree, falls in the lion pen. The lion chases him around for a while, to thunderous applause from the crowd. The lion finally tackles the man and says "Do you want to get us both fired?"
For all of those Philosophy Majors out there
Philosophy Joke:
If an argument concludes a tree fall without human interaction in a forest for a stump to be made, and there are no lumberjack's in the forest to hear it, does it make it sound?
So Jesus, Moses and an old man go golfing
The first to play is Jesus. After his swing, the ball land in the lake. He runs towards it, walks on the water and grabs the ball. Then it's Moses' turn. Bad luck, the same thing happens to him. He walks to the lake, spreads the water into two parts and grabs the ball on the dry ground. Finally, it's time for the old man to play. His ball lands on the top of a tree. Instead of getting the ball, he just waits. After a few minutes, a squirrel hiding in the tree takes the ball and goes down. Then a wolf attacks the squirrel, kills it and eats it. He goes further and ends up vomitting the ball, which is then taken by an eagle. The eagle goes even further, but a hunter shoots it down. The ball falls down and lands exactly in the golf hole. It's hole-in-one and the old man wins. Moses looks at Jesus and says: "I hate playing with your dad."
Sorry if it's a bit long, but I really like that one. Also sorry for my writing, I'm not a native English speaker.
Three starving guys are wandering in a desert...
They come across a tree, but instead of leaves, it has strips of bacon. They happily climb the tree and start eating the bacon, until they hear a gunshot and one of the guys falls over, dead.
It wasn't a bacon tree.
It was a ham-bush.
(Not sure if this has been posted before, hope you enjoy.)
If A Tree Falls Down In The Woods...
But no one is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
It was dead.
Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
It was stapled to the first koala.
Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
I didn't want it to get lonely so I shot it.
If a tree falls in the forest & nobody hears it...
Does a hipster buy its album?
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree
Because it was dead
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was stapled to the first
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see monkey do
Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree?
Because it had no arms
Why did Sally fall off her bike?
Because she was hit with 3 monkeys and a refrigerator
A guy walks in to his backyard and sees a gorilla in his tree
He gets online and finds a man who specializes in gorilla removal. When he arrives at the house he has a stick, a set of handcuffs, a chihuahua, and a shotgun.
He tells the homeowner "I'm going to climb up in the tree and use the stick to hit the gorilla until he falls out of the tree. Upon landing, the trained chihuahua will viciously lunge for the gorillas g**... and when he attempts to protect himself we will slap on the handcuffs."
The homeowner, a little bewildered, says "that's crazy enough it just might work, but what is the shotgun for?"
"If I fall out of the tree first....shoot the chihuahua."
If a tree falls in the woods....
.....and no one is around to hear it.
Will a hipster buy the soundtrack?
If a tree falls in the woods..
..and nobody is around to hear it, then I've found the perfect place for Justin Beiber
If a tree falls in the forest...
...and Linkin Park was playing a concert adjacent to that tree, in the end, does it even matter?
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, do feminists still blame men for it?
Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?
It died.
If a tree falls in the forest......
If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
What is green, fuzzy and very deadly if it falls on you out of a tree?
A pool table.
If a tree falls in the woods
It won't make a sound because it has been copyright claimed by Warner Music Group.
If a tree falls down in the woods..
If a tree falls down in the woods and nobody's around to react to it, do the Fine Bro's still submit a copyright claim?
A tree falls in the forest and kills a baby, whos fault is it?
The lumberjack
A Black Man and a White Man fall out of a tree... Who hits the ground first?
The White Man, of course...
Because the Black man was stopped by the rope.
p.s. Mods, please remove if inappropriate or whatever.
If a tree falls on a woman, does she make a sound?
The real question you have to ask yourself, is what was that tree we doing in the kitchen.
Why shouldn't you have a conversation under a tree in the fall?
There may be leavesdropping
Anti jokes
What smells like blue paint?
Red paint
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We're both lawyers
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead
Feel free to share some anti jokes in the comments i'd love to hear some more
A Leaf and an Emo Person Both Fall From a Tree.
What lands first?
The leaf, a rope stopped the emo.
Friends are like trees...
Few swings with an axe and they fall down.
So if Lucy died 3.2 million years ago after falling from a tree...
...does that qualify her for a Darwin award?
A drum set falls out of a tree.
Ba-dum-tis
If a tree falls down in the middle of the forest....
And i scream something in the top of my lungs, and no woman can hear me,
Am I still wrong?
What did the 2 earwigs say to each other while falling out of a tree?
earwig-o earwig-o earwig-o
The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree
Son: "Dad where did I come from?"
Dad: "One day your mother and I were walking through an apple orchard..."
Son *rolls eyes*: "And you grabbed an apple not far from a tr..."
Dad: "I slipped in cider."
No Reason, No One and Crazy
3 boys are climbing in a tree.
They are called: No Reason, No One amd Crazy.
Then No One falls out of a tree.
No Reason screams to Crazy: "Call an ambulance!"
And Crazy calls: "Hello, I am crazy. I call for no reason, because no one fell out of a tree"
Why did the first monkey...
Fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.
A joke told by my dad many a time.
A tree with anxiety.
A tree had been filled with anxiety and decides to see a psychologist.
"I just don't know what to do," the tree said. "Every year I feel very anxious during fall and winter."
"Hmm, interesting," the psychologist said, "And how do you feel when spring comes?"
The tree smiles, "Releaved!""
Did you know that when leaves fall off of trees in the Autumn, it's because of nostalgia?
They're trying to get back to their roots.
What do you call a duck that falls out of a palm tree?
A quackanut
If a tree falls and only a woman hears it....
whats a tree doing in the kitchen?
What's white and breaks when your refrigerator falls out of a tree?
Your refrigerator.
Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?
It was dead.
If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it...
Do the other trees Pine?
Paper
What do trees write on in the fall? Loose Leaf Paper.
If a tree falls in the forest
And the wife doesnt hear it
Is it still the husbands fault?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?
Yes, and one of excellent timbre
I heard it's so cold in Florida that frozen Iguanas are falling from trees.
I'll make sure to bring a coat next time Iguana visit Florida.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it,
A hipster already has it on Vinyl.
Why did the tree fall in the forest?
Because it had too much root beer.
My brother when he was 5 told me the following joke: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Now, he said the following with a pretty serious and sad look on his face: Because he was dead.
If a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it,
my i**... logging business is running smoothly
Humans and trees are actually quite similar
They both fall if you hit them with an axe.
If a tree falls in the woods and nobody's around to hear it
Does it still let everyone know it updated its privacy policy?