JokoJokes

Falling Jokes

154 falling jokes and hilarious falling puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about falling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make someone laugh with these hilarious falling jokes! From jokes about falling off ladders to cracking puns about falling in love, these jokes prove that falling faster than a Boeing can still be funny. Whether you're declining from a tree or falling down the stairs, get ready to hit the pavement with some of the funniest falling jokes around!

Funniest Falling Short Jokes

Short falling jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The falling humour may include short fallen jokes also.

  1. If a tree falls..... A tree falls in the forest but doesn't make a sound.
    Hunter in camouflage gear: "WHAT THE HECK???!"
    Tree: "I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!"
  2. Trumpty Dumpty Trumpty Dumpty promised a wall
    Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall
    All the golf courses and all the white men
    Couldn't Make America Great Again
  3. Step by step guide on how to fall down stairs Step 1:
    Step 2:
    Step 4:
    Step 7:
    Step 12:
    Step 18:
    Step 25:
    Hospital
  4. What's green, fuzzy, has four legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.
  5. How to find out if you're old or not: Fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young. If they panic, you're old.
  6. Today I saw a poor, old woman trip and fall. At least, I assume she was poor. She only had $4.75 in her purse.
  7. I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice.. At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
  8. Why girls don't have willys Little brother came into the kitchen and declared "mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow"
  9. How to fall down the stairs Step 1.
    Step 2.
    Step 3.
    Step 6.
    Step 11.
    Step 16.
    Floor.
  10. TIL why scuba divers fall backwards into the water Because if they fall forward, they would land in the boat.

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Falling One Liners

Which falling one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with falling? I can suggest the ones about dropping and slipping.

  1. Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well!
  2. How to Fall Down the Stairs Step 1
    Step 2
    Step 5
    Step 9
    Step 12
    Floor
  3. What's green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table
  4. Why did the blind woman fall down the well? Because she couldn't see that well.
  5. Instructions how to fall down stairs: Step 1
    Step 2
    Step 4
    Step 14
  6. Why did the hipster fall into the lake? He went ice skating before it was cool.
  7. A goat, a drum, and a rattlesnake fall down a cliff... ba dum tss
  8. How to fall down stairs * Step 1
    * Step 2
    * Step 4
    * Step 15
  9. My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall But it was his dumb asphalt
  10. I just got my prostate examined. That's the last time I fall asleep on the train.
  11. A Sheep, a Drum, and a Snake fall off a cliff Baa-Dumm-Tsss
  12. I saw a sign that said "Falling rocks" I tried. It doesn't.
  13. What's big and white and will kill you if it falls out a tree? A freezer.
  14. Why don't black people go on cruises? They aren't falling for that one again.
  15. How to fall down stairs Step 1
    Step 6
    Step 8, 9, 11, 12

Falling Down Jokes

Here is a list of funny falling down jokes and even better falling down puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Where did sally go when the bomb went off? - everywhere.
    Why did sally fall off the swing?
    She had no arms..
    Knock knock..
    Whose there?
    -not sally.
  • Why do 50% of married men not fall asleep after sex? Because they still need to drive home
  • The thing I love most about this fall weather is the UGG boots and yoga pants.. ... Though, they do make me look a bit gay.
  • My wife said we needed to childproof our upright piano, so it wouldn't fall over on our toddler... ... I said that was a good idea, because I wouldn't want a flat minor.
  • An emo and an apple fall out of a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, the emo is stopped by the rope.
  • How do you survive a fall without a parachute? Just like any other season
  • Why did the polynomial tree fall over? It didn't have any real roots
  • I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.
  • Two blondes fall down a well One says to the other ones, "isn't it dark down here" she replies, I don't know I can't see
  • The thing I learned from Beauty and the Beast: Any girl can fall in love with you given you lock her in the basement long enough.

Falling For You Jokes

Here is a list of funny falling for you jokes and even better falling for you puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I was originally ok with my wife getting a white noise machine in our bedroom turns out falling asleep to country music is harder than I thought
  • What is big green and fuzzy and kills you when it falls out of a tree? A pool table
  • Why don't Africans go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again.
  • Maybe if I fall in love with my anxiety it'll leave me too.
  • The one thing that all women find attractive ...a man who doesn't fall for clickbait
  • What's the difference between IKEA and Theresa May? A cabinet designed by IKEA doesn't fall apart so easily.
  • Scientists have discovered why flamingos stand on one leg Because if they lifted the other one as well, they'd fall.
  • Where do animals go when their tails fall off? Retail store. I know I'm lame.
  • I saw a poor old lady fall on the ice today Atleast I think she was poor. She only had $.75 in her wallet.
  • What do you call a snobbish criminal falling down the stairs? A condescending con descending.
Falling joke, What do you call a snobbish criminal falling down the stairs?

Falling Asleep Jokes

Here is a list of funny falling asleep jokes and even better falling asleep puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer? Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.
  • There's an actual medical term for when your foot falls asleep. It's called 'coma toes'
  • Many people can't fall asleep due to some obsessive thoughts. Been thinking about this all night.
  • CNN says that Trumpists have been falling asleep at Trump rallies lately Trump says it's all just fake snooze.

    Credit where credit is due I stole this from YouTube comments.
  • Girl are you a dishwasher? Because I would like to fill you with my dirty load in the evening, turn you on, and fall asleep before you finish
  • Did you hear the one about rim jobs? It's very tongue in cheek.
    -came up with this while trying to fall asleep. Pretty sure it's OC
  • How do you know you're falling asleep and not just dying peacefuly? You don't.
  • I was fired after falling asleep on personal documents. Apparently you can't lie on your resume.
  • What do you call a male cow that keeps falling asleep? A bulldozer.
    I just made this up. I apologize for my self and my entire ancestory that led to this.
  • I realized that whacking off helps me fall asleep much faster This whole time the cure for insomnia was within my grasp

Falling Tree Jokes

Here is a list of funny falling tree jokes and even better falling tree puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
  • Why did Isaac Newton's son know so much about gravity? The apple didn't fall far from the tree.
  • A tree falls on a woman. Does it make a sound? Idk. The better question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?
  • Two nuts were hanging out in a tree. One slipped and started to fall. The other one said Don't worry man, I'm a cashew
  • Friends are like trees They fall down when you hit them with an axe
  • How do you make leaves fall off of trees? You don't - they do it autumn-atically
  • What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
  • If a tree falls in the woods, and there are no English majors around to hear it... does is lay on the ground, or lie?
  • An emo and a leaf were sitting at the top of a tree... they both fall off at the same time? Which one hits the ground first?
    The leaf.
    The emo got caught by the rope.
  • If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it... a chihuahua 500 miles away will bark at it.

Falling Faster Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny falling faster than jokes and even better falling faster than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo? The leaf, the rope stops the emo.
  • Which falls faster, a ball of wool or a ball of steel? Neymar
  • [Slightly Offensive] A Jew and a black guy jump out of building, which hits the ground first? The Jew, cuz pennies fall faster than basketballs.
  • A Jew and a Black fall out of a building... The black hits the ground first because chains fall faster than ash
  • What's the only thing in the world that falls apart faster than Ikea furniture ? Sweden's defence against England
  • List of things falling faster than Joe Hart The British Pound
  • Russian economy is doing so poorly the ruble is falling faster than your mom's p**....
Falling joke, Russian economy is doing so poorly

Uplifting Falling Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about falling you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean failing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make falling pranks.

A little lizard

A little lizard is walking through the jungle one day and spots a koala bear up in a tree.
"Hey, what are you doing?" asks the little lizard. Koala bear replies, "I'm getting high, come up and join me."
So the little lizard climbs the tree and shares a joint with the koala bear. Pretty soon the little lizard gets thirsty, he spots the river and says he's going to go get a drink. So the little lizard climbs down the tree, walks over to the river and as he is drinking he ends up falling in. An alligator saw this and rushes over to help the little lizard out of the water.
"What the heck are you doing?" asks the alligator.
"Well, I was getting high with the koala bear in the tree and then I got thirsty and then...."
"Whoa, wait a minute. You were getting high with a koala bear? I've got to see this." Says the alligator as he goes walking off into the jungle.
The alligator spots the koala bear in the tree and shouts up "Hey, what are you doing up there?"
The koala bear looks down and says "Shiiiiiiiiiiit, Dude, how much water did you drink?"

A weather report for you

I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

Peeing in the Flowers...

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer."
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'Why not make the best of it?'"
So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes!'"
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Not everybody pays."

Jenga Towers

At Highschool we have a test every week and my teacher lets the person with the highest score bring in their favourite board game. For years, my favourite game has been Jenga, the falling towers game.
So on friday the 8th in the first week of September I finally get the highest score and the teacher tells me I can bring in a board game on monday.
mfw I walk into class on 9/11 with Jenga and I'm a muslim...

What is cowhide mostly used for?

Keeping cows from falling apart.

So last night I fell off my balcony...

Instead of falling and getting really badly hurt, I kinda just floated down to the ground... landing without a scratch.
The news spread fast and everyone was wondering how that happened. I was later asked to explain the whole event, but I couldn't. I guess I just didn't get the whole gravity of the situation.

Not so funny short joke

What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor? 1st floor : Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat

What's the difference between water falling from the sky and hamburgers falling from the sky?

One of them is a meatier shower.

I tried to be a tap dancer

but I kept falling in the sink!
(thank you, british uncle ken for that dry humor)

Northeast Weather

I just got off the phone with my friend in Boston. He said that since early this morning, the snow has been nearly waist high and still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just staring. He said, if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

What's white, cold, falling in winter and ending with "bass" ?

The snow, d**....

A skydiver jumps out of a plane...

He is flying through the air and is having a lot of fun.
Then he pulls the chord ... but nothing happens! The parachute wont open!
panicing he pulls the safety chord ... nothing happens again!
He is falling ever so fast, when suddenly a guy comes flying up from beneath him!
The skydiver yells "hey! Do you repair parachutes!?"
The guy yells back! "Nope, gas ovens..."
(english is not my first language, excuse my spelling please)

Instructions for falling down stairs...

Step 1
Step 2
Step 4

Step 8

A racist joke (be warned and don't take offense)

Why is it that you never see a black person on a cruise?
They're not falling for that one again..

A falling battery killed a man today.

It was charged with m**....

The school year is like a burrito...

After 3 quarters you're full but you have to keep going even though it's all falling apart.

Asked my black friend if he wanted to go on a cruise..

I just asked my black friend if he wanted to go on a cruise this summer. He said his ancestors made that same mistake and he's not falling for it.

The school year is like a burrito.

Once you're halfway through you want to give up because everything's just falling apart.

Why do you need to carry radioactive materials in sealed, lead containers?

To stop it from falling out.

My wife and I decided to see a therapist because our marriage was falling apart.

Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem?
Wife: I can't take it anymore. I can't live with him making Star Wars puns all the time.
Me: Divorce is strong with this one.

Instructions for falling down the stairs:

Step 1, step 6, step 7, step 8, step 12.

What's the difference between someone falling from 21st floor and 1st floor?

21st floor person goes: AHHHHHHHHHH *thump*
1st floor goes: *thump* AHHHHHHHHHH

The best part about owning a pet.

You can blame your dog for f**...,
you can blame your cat for things falling over at night, and you can blame your goldfish for the screaming in the basement.

What's the difference between falling 2 ft and 200 ft?

200 ft: Aaaaaaaaa, bump
2 ft: Bump, aaaaaaaaa
(Yes, it's an old, really old joke. Surprisingly haven't seen it here, yet.)

I regret falling in love with my British girlfriend.

You give your heart to her and she Brexit into a million parts.

If you show me a piano falling down a mine shaft...

I'll show you Aflat minor.

There's a giant hole in town and everybody is falling in it and going to the hospital

The mayor holds a meeting and asks everyone to propose a solution.
Someone stand up and says: "We should put a cop next to the hole and whenever someone falls he'll call an ambulance."
Another person offers to put an ambulance next to the hole.
Someone else offers to build a hospital next to the hole.
At this point everybody starts arguing so the mayor shuts everybody up and says: "You are all s**.... We should close up the hole and dig another one next to the hospital."

Today I woke up to a b**.....

..never falling asleep with my mouth open again.

What did the tree say to the lumberjack?

I'm falling for you

Books keep falling on my head....

I've only got myshelf to blame

What's the difference between a guy falling from the 20th or the 1st floor of a building?

20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!*
1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*

I keep falling off my bike.

It's a vicious cycle.

Two men are climbing a mountain. One of them slips and falls.

"Oh my god are you alive?!? Can you hear me?!?"
-- "Yes, I'm alive."
"Did you break your legs?"
-- "No, my legs are fine."
"Did you break your arms?
-- "No, they're OK."
"Well, thank goodness, climb back up!"
-- "I can't."
"Why not?"
-- "I'm still falling."

Why did the chemist's pants keep falling down?

He had no *acetol*.

when i die I want it to be from being hit by a falling piano

That way my life ends on a dramatic note.

What's the difference between a man falling from a 40 story building and a 4 story building?

One goes: Ahhhhhhhhh.... Splat
And the other goes: Splat....Ahhhhhhhhh

A man was doing some DIY work on his gas stove

When it all of a sudden blew up and sent him flying through his roof and up into the sky.
On his way up he passed a man falling down from the sky and asked him: Hey, you know anything about gas stoves?
The guy falling responded, Nope, you know anything about parachutes?

A woman texted me with the message, "Your adorable."

I texted back, "No. YOU'RE adorable."
Now she's falling for me. I was only correcting her grammar.

This morning I entered a store...

I noticed the clerk had a missing hand and a watch on it, that kept falling.
\-Why don't you wear it on the other hand?
\-And how am I supposed to put it on, smartass?

I've decided to mind my own business from now on.

Dying by falling from stairs is just like regular death

But with extra steps

The highway sign said, Watch for falling rocks.

And I thought, OK fine, but I only have 10 minutes.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Seven's been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.

A cowboy sees a bunch of American Indians on the horizon and thinks: ''I'm f**......'', but a voice in the back of his head says: ''Not so fast! Kill the chief!!!''

''What?! Why?'' - thinks the cowboy.
''Just kill the chief!'' - says the voice.
The cowboy hesitated a bit more and than drew his gun and shot the chief.
As the chief was falling from his horse the voice in the cowboy's head said: ''*Now* you're f**......''

This sub is seriously falling apart

I knew I should've gone to Subway

What's the difference between a person falling off 10th floor and 1st floor of a building?

The person falling of the 10th floor would sound like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" *THUD*
The person falling of the 1st floor would sound like *THUD* "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Why won't black people board cruise ships?

We're not falling for that b**... again.

Local man killed by falling piano

It will be a low key f**....

A man was in a bathroom getting ready to take a shower, and his wife heard a loud noise from outside.

A man was in a bathroom getting ready to take a shower, and his wife heard a loud noise from outside. Concerned something had happened she asked, "What was that noise?"
The man replied, " It was just my underwear falling".
Unsure the wife asked again, "That noise was a bit loud for it to be just an underwear falling to the ground.
The man replied, " Yeah, because I was still in it"

What does Tarzan falling to his death have in common with Millenials?

I miss Vine.

What's the difference between falling in the 10th and 1st floor of a building?

In the 10th floor you go:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH \*thud\*
In the 1st floor you go:
\*thud\* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

What's the difference between 100,000 political jokes and a kid falling off a bike.

I still laugh every time I see a kid fall off a bike....
(For real this s**... just ain't funny anymore fellas.)

What's the difference between a jumper and a sweater?

A sweater doesn't go splat after falling 40 stories...

What do you call vehicles falling from the sky?

Van Halen

A woman and her husband were arguing over the current precipitation...

The woman insisted it was drizzling outside while her husband said that really, it was just misting.
They decided that the argument would be settled by asking their elderly former soviet neighbor Rudolf.
Rudolf grimaced at the sky for a moment and held up a hand to catch some of the falling moisture. "It is drizzle," he declared.
The husband, a little put out by losing the argument, complained. "And why are we accepting our neighbors judgement?"
"Because," the wife replied, "Rudolf the red knows rain, dear."

Doctor tells a man that he will die by the next morning

The man goes home and tells his wife about this and asks her to stay awake the whole night so they can talk about all the good memories they share.
The wife starts to fall asleep after some time. The man asks "Why are you falling asleep?"
The wife replies "You don't have to wake up tomorrow morning, but I do!"

Covid restrictions...

I'm down with social distancing, but I think my local grocery store has gone too far.
They've put a big X on the floor to show where to stand in line at the register.
I've seen enough Roadrunner cartoons, I'm not falling for that.

What is the name of the captain of a boat made of cork?

Bob.
Sorry, this came to me as I was falling asleep.

Step by step guide to falling down the stairs:

Step 1:
Step 4:
Step 8:
Step 11:
Step 17:
Hospital

I just got back from the f**... of my 82 year old neighbour who died after falling off his roof when fixing his TV antenna.

The f**... was sad, but the reception was excellent.

What advice did Obi-Wan give Luke when Luke's marriage was falling apart?

Use divorce, Luke

What do you call a pig that's falling down a hill?

A sausage roll.

Two Parachutists

Two parachutists jumped out of a plane, they had headsets on so they could talk to each other on the way down.
One man's parachute opened, the other one's didn't.
The guy with the defective c**... was falling fast but appeared to be slowly and very calmly trying to figure out the issue. Appeared to be in no rush.
The other guy with the good c**... said Hey, you look so calm and collected. Why are you taking your time? Why aren't you panicking?
The guy with the unopened c**... said Hey, why should I rush? I've got the rest of my life to figure it out .

Difference between falling from 1st and 10th floor

1st floor : Thud.....Silence......Shriek
10th floor : Shriek......Thud...Silence

Ok Mods I want to know why my post was removed.

It's annoying because my fence keeps falling down.

In the Netherlands, beef sales are falling so, in order to improve the quality of meat as well as sales, the cows bred for meat are being given cannabis plants to eat instead of grass.

It's safe to say that the steaks have never been higher

I think snow is still in love with me

It keeps falling for me every winter

I had to quit tap dancing.

I kept falling in the sink.

What did the bald man say to his hair?

I don't know, but they had a real falling out

Bus

A woman got a problem with her closet door - it was falling every time a bus passed by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out every time a bus passes by.
"OK, I am gonna see what is going on, just close the door behind me" and he steps into the closet to wait for a bus to pass.
At that time the husband comes from work, opens the closet and finds the repairman.
Husband: "What the h**... are you doing here!"
Repairman:"Well, you are not going to believe it, but I am waiting for a bus!"

An old man is put into a nursing home by his daughter...

He sits in the common lounge room and leans to the left.
A nurse aide runs over and stops him from falling from his chair and straitens him up.
A few minutes later He starts leaning to the right - but again a nurse aide runs over and straitens him up.
Later, his daughter calls in to see how he is settling.
I quite like this place he says but they don't let you f**......

a joke that i saw in a youtube video a few years back

Two markets were flying in the the sky, when suddenly Market 1 stops and says "Wait a minute, markets don't fly", to which Market 2 responds "Oh, right" before falling down to the ground. Upon landing Market 2 looks up and sees Market 1 still up above, so he shouts "Why are you still flying? Markets don't fly!", so Market 1 shouts back to Market 2 "Ah, you see my friend, i am a Supermarket!"

a guide to falling down the stairs

Step 1
Step 3
Step 6
Step 10
Step 15
Step 21
Step 25
Floor

a joke translated from turkish

Once upon a time there was a pit in a village, people used to wound themselves from falling into the pit. 3 elders of the village unite to a find a solution to this pit.
First one says that we should place an ambulance next to the pit, that way people will get to the hospital faster
Second one says that we should build a hospital next to the pit that way it will be even faster
Before the third one could talk Chad jumps in and says "y'all are idiots why don't we fill this pit up and dig one up next to the hospital.

Parachute lessons

So, I'm on a flying plane, taking my parachute jumping lessons. One of the guys told me: "Wait here, stay close to the door, the instructor will strap himself to you and you'll jump together. Don't do anything without your instructor, he has the parachute, he knows everything and he will guide you on your first jump!"
I waited a few more minutes, then somebody approached me q**..., strapped himself to me and jumped right off. A few seconds into falling, the guy screams in my ear:
"So how long you've been an instructor?"

Falling joke, Parachute lessons

jokes about falling