Fall Jokes

Following is our collection of descend humor and pavement one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Fall puns for adults, dirty plummet jokes or clean crumble gags for kids.

There is an abundance of tandem jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 74 funniest jokes on fall. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any downfall witze you can hear about fall.

The Best jokes about Fall

i went to the liquor store on my bike.

i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle vodka and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. so i drank it all right there and its a good thing i did cause i fell 7 times on the way home

apparently this was posted before...i had no idea. a friend sent me a voice recording of someone telling it and i posted it ..sorry

Step by step guide on how to fall down stairs

Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 4:

Step 7:

Step 12:

Step 18:

Step 25:

Hospital

I rode to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle...

I bought a bottle of Rum and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave I thought for a moment. If I fall off the bicycle, the bottle might break.

To avoid that, I drank all of the rum before I left the store.

It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off the bike seven times on my way home

Fall joke, I rode to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle...

How to Fall Down the Stairs

Step 1

Step 2

Step 5

Step 9

Step 12

Floor

I went to the liquor store on my bicycle and bought a bottle vodka, put it in the basket on the front and then it occurred to me that if I fall or something happens, the bottle might break, so I drank it all right there and it's a good thing I did...

...'cause I fell 7 times on the way home...


Why did the blind woman fall down the well?

Because she couldn't see that well.

Instructions how to fall down stairs:

Step 1

Step 2

Step 4

Step 14

Fall joke, Instructions how to fall down stairs:

Why did the hipster fall into the lake?

He went ice skating before it was cool.

How to find out if you're old or not:

Fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young. If they panic, you're old.

A goat, a drum, and a rattlesnake fall down a cliff...

ba dum tss

A cop just stopped me for jaywalking and then tasered me after exchanging a few words...

Police: Turn around.

Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round...

Police: TURN AROUND!!

Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ev--AHHHHHH!


Today I saw a poor, old woman trip and fall.

At least, I assume she was poor. She only had $4.75 in her purse.

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice..

At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My wife wasn't happy.

True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"

My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"

I replied, "my life."

Why girls don't have willys

Little brother came into the kitchen and declared "mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow"

TIL why scuba divers fall backwards into the water

Because if they fall forward, they would land in the boat.

Fall joke, TIL why scuba divers fall backwards into the water

How to fall down stairs

* Step 1
* Step 2
* Step 4
* Step 15

My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall

But it was his dumb asphalt

Woke up to a blow job earlier.

That's the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open..


I just got my prostate examined.

That's the last time I fall asleep on the train.

One soldier

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

The thing I love most about this fall weather is the UGG boots and yoga pants..

... Though, they do make me look a bit gay.

A Sheep, a Drum, and a Snake fall off a cliff

Baa-Dumm-Tsss

My wife said we needed to childproof our upright piano, so it wouldn't fall over on our toddler...

... I said that was a good idea, because I wouldn't want a flat minor.

An emo and an apple fall out of a tree. Which one hits the ground first?

The apple, the emo is stopped by the rope.ο»Ώ

Gender Equality

Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent from CNN noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front.

The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality.

"No", the man replied. "Land-mines."

How to fall down stairs

Step 1

Step 6

Step 8, 9, 11, 12

How do you survive a fall without a parachute?

Just like any other season

A falling battery killed a man today.

It was charged with murder.

Why did the polynomial tree fall over?

It didn't have any real roots

I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.

Two blondes fall down a well

One says to the other ones, "isn't it dark down here" she replies, I don't know I can't see

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.

A father has two sons named Joe and Mikey and the live on the third floor of their apartment.

One day the father goes to store, but leaves the key to his car in the apartment. He see's Joe in the window and shouts to him, "throw my key out the window!"

Sadly, Mikey didn't survive the fall

So, Jesus and Satan are sitting on a park bench one day

...just chilling, and Satan asks, "Hey JC, what's it called when little chunks of ice fall from the sky? It's not like I get to see it very often."

Jesus says, "Hail, Satan."

And Satan's all like, "YEEEEEAH, BOI!"

And Jesus is all like, "Oh, you."

My girlfriend told me I look "uncool" with a bike helmet on...

Well you know I'd rather look uncool than fall and split my head open during sex.

Maybe if I fall in love with my anxiety

it'll leave me too.

Last night I rode my bike to the liquor store

... and bought a bottle of whisky. I put the bottle in the bike basket but before riding back I thought: what if I fall down for some reason? The bottle will break! So I drank the whole bottle of whisky before riding home.

And thank God I did, because I must have fallen down about a dozen times before I got home.

The one thing that all women find attractive

...a man who doesn't fall for clickbait

I once went to the liquor store at the corner riding my bike

I meant to buy a bottle of whisky

On my way back home I felt like I could fall off my bike and end up breaking the bottle of whisky

So I decided to drink it all at once right there

It was the best decision of my life because on my way back home I fell off my bike like 8 times.

A father was sitting at the table with his two daughters

Petal and Fridge.

Petal said, "Dad, why is my name Petal?"

Her dad answered, "Because a flower petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born."

Then Fridge said, "HUURRGRRUWAHGUWAAAAAH!"

What's the difference between IKEA and Theresa May?

A cabinet designed by IKEA doesn't fall apart so easily.

Scientists have discovered why flamingos stand on one leg

Because if they lifted the other one as well, they'd fall.

Two women named Rachel meet and fall in love.

They decide to get married and go to the baker's to pick out a wedding cake. The baker inquires about their story and appalled, refuses to bake them a wedding cake. They are very upset and accuse the baker of narrow-mindedness and bigotry. "Oh, no, no, no," the baker responds, "I don't have a problem with gay marriage, I just can't support an inter-Rachel marriage!"

Happy Valentine's, everyone!

Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

Retail store. I know I'm lame.

I saw a poor old lady fall on the ice today

Atleast I think she was poor. She only had $.75 in her wallet.

I went to the liquor store on my bike the other day to get some vodka

But I was afraid that I would fall of my bike on my way home and break the bottle, so I drank the entire bottle before I went home. Which ended up being a good thing since I fell of my bike 7 times on my way home

Why did the old lady fall in the well?

Because she couldn't see that well

Humpty Dumpty always had a terrible summer.

At least he had a great fall.

Why did the old lady fall into the well?

She didn't see that well

A sheep,a pot and a snake walk together then fall of a cliff...

*Baah Dum Tssssss*

Communism's fall shouldn't have come as a surprise

There were many red flags

I keep falling off my bike.

It's a vicious cycle.

I spent a year writing a romance novel where two blood cells meet and fall in love. It never got published.

It was all in vein.

What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer?

Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.

I know a guy who survived an 8000-foot fall out of a plane.

Until he hit the ground.

Me: "It's not about how many times you fall. What matters is how many times you get back up."

Officer: "That isn't how field sobriety tests work."

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?

Because if they fell forward they'd still be on the boat. :D

A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Who hits the ground first?

The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious today.

Well, I'm assuming she was poor because she had only a dollar in her purse.

After a disappointing summer,

Humpty Dumpty ended up having a great fall.

So my girlfriend is getting a bit older and her teeth are starting to fall out.

It's okay, though. They'll grow back.

Why did the blind man fall into the well?

Because he could not see that well.

Me: It's not how many times you fall, it's how many times you get back up.

Cop: That's not how sobriety tests work.

Church is like sex

I fall asleep right after I come

Why did Isaac Newton's son know so much about gravity?

The apple didn't fall far from the tree.

A patient with insomnia goes to a doctor

A patient with insomnia goes to a doctor. (Russian Joke)

P: "Doc, I just can't fall asleep. Thousands of thoughts enter my mind and I stay awake through the night."
Doc: "here take (MiraLax - or alternative strong laxative) and it should help you"
P:" will this help me fall asleep?
Doc: "No, but you will only have one thing on your mind"

Sorry, translated this from Russian, may not be as funny in English

I went skydiving today.

The guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane, and as we began to fall he yelled in my ear "So how long you been an instructor?

I've just fallen through the roof of a French bakery...

Now I'm in a world of pain.

A married couple is getting ready to go out for the evening. The husband is in the shower and the wife is just getting out of the bathtub when the doorbell rings.

The wife hurriedly wraps herself in a towel and answers the door. It's their neighbor, Bob. Bob looks at the wife, who is quite beautiful, and says, I'll give you $800 to let that towel drop. The wife thinks about if for a bit, then lets the towel fall. Bob gives her a thorough visual inspection, then reaches into his wallet and hands her $800. She goes back inside. Who was at the door, honey? asks the husband. Oh, it was our neighbor Bob, she says. Great, says the husband. Did he happen to mention the $800 he owes me?

The Trump administration is like the International Space Station

They're in constant free fall, and they needed Russia's help to get there

Two nuts were hanging out in a tree. One slipped and started to fall.

The other one said Don't worry man, I'm a cashew

Many people can't fall asleep due to some obsessive thoughts.

Been thinking about this all night.

Why did the nearsighted woman fall into a well?

Because she couldn't see that well.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes