fall Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious fall stories

What are the best fall puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Fall? Well here is a complete list of the top fall jokes:

My life completely changed after I learned Morse Code

Last night, for example, I couldn't fall asleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

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One soldier

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

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The thing I love most about this fall weather is the UGG boots and yoga pants..

... Though, they do make me look a bit gay.

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What do men do after orgasm?

1% Do it again
1% Go Smoking
1% Fall Asleep
97% Clear History

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why do scuba divers go in the water backwards?

because if they go forward they would fall inside the boat.

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What's the difference between light and hard?

You can fall asleep with a light on.

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Why don't black people go on cruises?

They're not going to fall for that one again.

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Why do scuba-divers go in backwards?

Because if they went forward they'd fall in the boat.

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One soldier.

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out." As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, Drill sergeant?"

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So my girlfriend is getting a bit older and her teeth are starting to fall out.

It's okay, though. They'll grow back.

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Why did Isaac Newton's son know so much about gravity?

The apple didn't fall far from the tree.

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I went skydiving today.

The guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane, and as we began to fall he yelled in my ear "So how long you been an instructor?

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I came up with a clever strategy to get my girlfriend to like my wordplay-loving family....

....but she didn't fall for my punning clan.

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Me to Doctor: I've hurt my penis in a surfing accident. Doctor: Did you fall off your board?

Me:

No I slammed my laptop shut when the Wife walked in.

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Friends are like trees...

They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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I woke up to a blow job this morning...

That's the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.    

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Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of boats?

If they fell forwards they would still be in the boat.

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Don't forget capital letters...

In the world of high-tech gadgetry, more and more people who send text messages and emails have forgotten the art of capital letters.
For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:

"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

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Dreams.

3 guys are camping, and after a night of drinks & laughs around the fire, they climb into their tent and fall asleep side by side.

The next morning, the guy on the left wakes up smiling. "I had a dream I was getting jerked off all night by a supermodel!"

The guy on the right chimes in. "Me too, but it was my hot neighbour!"

The guy in the middle looks a bit dejected. "Lucky bastards. I just dreamed I was skiing."

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A Rooster sees a cat fall in a puddle

The rooster falls into a fit of laughter, and can barely catch his breathe. The cat climbs out of the puddle and scolds the rooster saying "that was not funny at all." The rooster composes himself and says "Sorry, but do you know what a wet pussy does to a cock?"

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If the letters fall off your company's logo...

...maybe it's a bad sign.

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At this time of the year....

....there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep.




And that's why I'm no longer a fireman...

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Baby camel asks his mother...

-mum,why do we have a hump?

-because,son,we need it to store water.

Baby camel thinks about it for 5 minutes and then says:

-mum,why are our eyelashes so long?

-because,son, they protect us from sand.

Baby again thinks for 5 minutes before it says:

-mum,why are our hoofs so big?

-because,son, our legs wouldn't fall into the sand.

After thinking for another 5 minutes,the baby camel says:

-Mum,what the fuck are we doing in a zoo then?!

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Two Snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff

buh dum tss

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Humpty Dumpty had a good Summer...

But he had a *great* Fall!

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What is your favorite dumb joke?

Mine would have to be

Why did sally fall out of the tree?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not sally.

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Why do Scuba divers fall backwards off the boat, and into the water?

Because if they fell forward, they'd fall into the boat.

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What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.



Too soon?

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

Badum tsss.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

Ba-dum psshh!

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The memo

An older man hires a guy every fall and his only job is to use my leaf blower and get the leaves out my yard.

He only pays in checks though. Just so he may write "thanks for the blow" on the memo line.

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A joke for fall.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

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Why don't black people go on cruises?

They won't fall for that trick twice!

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A joke about babies and cocaine

What's the difference between a baby and a big bag of cocaine?


Eric Clapton would NEVER let a big bag of cocaine fall out a window!

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My brother was worried last night that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep because he had a headache.

I told him to make a stiff nightcap and drop a couple of pills in it. You know, just take Aleve of Absinthe.

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If all men fall asleep immediately after sex...

Then what's so hard about catching rapists?!

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Why did the blind man fall in the well?

Because He couldn't see that well.

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Fill in the blank: Friends are like_____

mine is "Friends are like trees, if you hit them with an axe they fall over."

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'What Will Communism Be Like?'- A Russian Joke

One day, as a young man, Ivan asked a member of the Party, "What will it be like once we have built communism?". The Party man replied, "The shops will be full of goods, and we will have no money". Four decades passed, and the Soviet Union fell. After the fall of the USSR, Ivan found himself walking the streets of Moscow. He looked at the shops, and he felt in his pockets, and smiled. "Comrades", he said, "We have built communism at last!"

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Why did the bicycle fall over??

Because it was two tired...

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I was down by the Niagara River...

and I saw a Muslim extremist fall in!

He immediately started to sink.

Being a responsible Canadian, I contacted the provincial police and the RCMP right away! They didn't respond in time, and the Muslim man inevitably drowned...

I'm starting to think that I wasted two stamps.

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51 Danes and 50 Norwegians were on a plane...

With no floor, and the passengers were hanging on a strap attached to the roof. The captain yelled: "The plane is too heavy! One of you have to fall to your death!" A Dane raised his hand and said: "I'll do it". Then all the Norwegians clapped their hands.

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Double Joke

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

----------------------------------

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Not Sally!"

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What's the difference between a bag of coke and a baby?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out the window.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms.




Knock knock

Who's there?

Obviously not Sally

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Poor Sally (2 parter)

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms...

**quickly followed by**

Knock Knock

*Who's there?*

Not Sally.

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I saw an entire display of beer fall over onto a small child
at the grocery store today.

Luckily the kid was okay. It was Bud Light.

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if men fall asleep directly after sex . . .

why is it so hard to catch a rapist?

-Jimmy Carr

p.s. never high five a rabbi

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Two economists fall into a hole

they realize they are trapped, and so they come up with a plan. The first step in their plan is... assume a ladder.

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The tomato family was walking down the street....

...when daddy tomato and mommy tomato noticed that baby tomato had started to fall behind so daddy tomato went back to the baby and stomped on him and said "Ketchup!"

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CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best fall jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about fall. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty fall gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these fall jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

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