The Best 80 Fall Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Fall jokes. There are some fall pavement jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these fall crumble puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Fall Jokes and Puns

The thing I love most about this fall weather is the UGG boots and yoga pants..

... Though, they do make me look a bit gay.

So my girlfriend is getting a bit older and her teeth are starting to fall out.

It's okay, though. They'll grow back.

One soldier

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

Fall joke, One soldier

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice..

At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

So, Jesus and Satan are sitting on a park bench one day

...just chilling, and Satan asks, "Hey JC, what's it called when little chunks of ice fall from the sky? It's not like I get to see it very often."

Jesus says, "Hail, Satan."

And Satan's all like, "YEEEEEAH, BOI!"

And Jesus is all like, "Oh, you."


My wife wasn't happy.

True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"

My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"

I replied, "my life."

Where did sally go when the bomb went off?

- everywhere.

Why did sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms..

Knock knock..
Whose there?
-not sally.

Fall joke, Where did sally go when the bomb went off?

I saw a poor old lady fall on the ice today

Atleast I think she was poor. She only had $.75 in her wallet.

After a disappointing summer,

Humpty Dumpty ended up having a great fall.

A falling battery killed a man today.

It was charged with murder.

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?

Because if they fell forward they'd still be on the boat. :D

You can explore fall descend reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean fall plummet dad jokes. There are also fall puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I know a guy who survived an 8000-foot fall out of a plane.

Until he hit the ground.

Today I saw a poor, old woman trip and fall.

At least, I assume she was poor. She only had $4.75 in her purse.

A Sheep, a Drum, and a Snake fall off a cliff

Baa-Dumm-Tsss

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.

My girlfriend told me I look "uncool" with a bike helmet on...

Well you know I'd rather look uncool than fall and split my head open during sex.

Fall joke, My girlfriend told me I look "uncool" with a bike helmet on...

A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Who hits the ground first?

The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

How to Fall Down the Stairs

Step 1

Step 2

Step 5

Step 9

Step 12

Floor

I spent a year writing a romance novel where two blood cells meet and fall in love. It never got published.

It was all in vein.


Why did the blind woman fall down the well?

Because she couldn't see that well.

Why did the old lady fall into the well?

She didn't see that well

What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer?

Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.

How to fall down stairs

Step 1

Step 6

Step 8, 9, 11, 12

The one thing that all women find attractive

...a man who doesn't fall for clickbait

A sheep,a pot and a snake walk together then fall of a cliff...

*Baah Dum Tssssss*

I just got my prostate examined.

That's the last time I fall asleep on the train.

Why did the old lady fall in the well?

Because she couldn't see that well

Why girls don't have willys

Little brother came into the kitchen and declared "mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow"

Why did the polynomial tree fall over?

It didn't have any real roots

How to fall down stairs

* Step 1
* Step 2
* Step 4
* Step 15

A father was sitting at the table with his two daughters

Petal and Fridge.

Petal said, "Dad, why is my name Petal?"

Her dad answered, "Because a flower petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born."

Then Fridge said, "HUURRGRRUWAHGUWAAAAAH!"

Two women named Rachel meet and fall in love.

They decide to get married and go to the baker's to pick out a wedding cake. The baker inquires about their story and appalled, refuses to bake them a wedding cake. They are very upset and accuse the baker of narrow-mindedness and bigotry. "Oh, no, no, no," the baker responds, "I don't have a problem with gay marriage, I just can't support an inter-Rachel marriage!"

Happy Valentine's, everyone!

Woke up to a blow job earlier.

That's the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open..

I keep falling off my bike.

It's a vicious cycle.

I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.

An emo and an apple fall out of a tree. Which one hits the ground first?

The apple, the emo is stopped by the rope.

A goat, a drum, and a rattlesnake fall down a cliff...

ba dum tss

Humpty Dumpty always had a terrible summer.

At least he had a great fall.

My wife said we needed to childproof our upright piano, so it wouldn't fall over on our toddler...

... I said that was a good idea, because I wouldn't want a flat minor.

Why did the hipster fall into the lake?

He went ice skating before it was cool.

Two blondes fall down a well

One says to the other ones, "isn't it dark down here" she replies, I don't know I can't see

I went to the liquor store on my bike the other day to get some vodka

But I was afraid that I would fall of my bike on my way home and break the bottle, so I drank the entire bottle before I went home. Which ended up being a good thing since I fell of my bike 7 times on my way home

Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

Retail store. I know I'm lame.

Maybe if I fall in love with my anxiety

it'll leave me too.

My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall

But it was his dumb asphalt

I rode to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle...

I bought a bottle of Rum and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave I thought for a moment. If I fall off the bicycle, the bottle might break.

To avoid that, I drank all of the rum before I left the store.

It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off the bike seven times on my way home

Instructions how to fall down stairs:

Step 1

Step 2

Step 4

Step 14

i went to the liquor store on my bike.

i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle vodka and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. so i drank it all right there and its a good thing i did cause i fell 7 times on the way home

apparently this was posted before...i had no idea. a friend sent me a voice recording of someone telling it and i posted it ..sorry

Communism's fall shouldn't have come as a surprise

There were many red flags

TIL why scuba divers fall backwards into the water

Because if they fall forward, they would land in the boat.

A father has two sons named Joe and Mikey and the live on the third floor of their apartment.

One day the father goes to store, but leaves the key to his car in the apartment. He see's Joe in the window and shouts to him, "throw my key out the window!"

Sadly, Mikey didn't survive the fall

How to find out if you're old or not:

Fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young. If they panic, you're old.

Gender Equality

Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent from CNN noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front.

The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality.

"No", the man replied. "Land-mines."

Church is like sex

I fall asleep right after I come

A cop just stopped me for jaywalking and then tasered me after exchanging a few words...

Police: Turn around.

Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round...

Police: TURN AROUND!!

Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ev--AHHHHHH!

I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious today.

Well, I'm assuming she was poor because she had only a dollar in her purse.

I went to the liquor store on my bicycle and bought a bottle vodka, put it in the basket on the front and then it occurred to me that if I fall or something happens, the bottle might break, so I drank it all right there and it's a good thing I did...

...'cause I fell 7 times on the way home...

What's the difference between IKEA and Theresa May?

A cabinet designed by IKEA doesn't fall apart so easily.

Scientists have discovered why flamingos stand on one leg

Because if they lifted the other one as well, they'd fall.

Me: It's not how many times you fall, it's how many times you get back up.

Cop: That's not how sobriety tests work.

Me: "It's not about how many times you fall. What matters is how many times you get back up."

Officer: "That isn't how field sobriety tests work."

Last night I rode my bike to the liquor store

... and bought a bottle of whisky. I put the bottle in the bike basket but before riding back I thought: what if I fall down for some reason? The bottle will break! So I drank the whole bottle of whisky before riding home.

And thank God I did, because I must have fallen down about a dozen times before I got home.

I once went to the liquor store at the corner riding my bike

I meant to buy a bottle of whisky

On my way back home I felt like I could fall off my bike and end up breaking the bottle of whisky

So I decided to drink it all at once right there

It was the best decision of my life because on my way back home I fell off my bike like 8 times.

Step by step guide on how to fall down stairs

Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 4:

Step 7:

Step 12:

Step 18:

Step 25:

Hospital

How do you survive a fall without a parachute?

Just like any other season

Why did the blind man fall into the well?

Because he could not see that well.

A couple of tourists are taking a tour of Moscow.

As they are walking, the husband feels a drop of water fall on his face. He turns to his wife and says I think it's raining. No, it is definitely snowing. Replies his wife. They started to argue, and the husband says let's not bicker, let's ask our tour guide Rudolph whether it is officially snowing or raining. They walked up to their tour guide, and ask Comrade Rudolph, would you kindly tell us if it is snowing or raining? It is raining of course! He replies. The husband turns to the wife and says See? Rudolph the red knows rain, dear!

Trumpty Dumpty

Trumpty Dumpty promised a wall

Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall

All the golf courses and all the white men

Couldn't Make America Great Again

I just don't get how the german people could fall for Hitler and the Nazis

There were an awful lot of red flags.

Hey girl, did you fall from heaven?

because you look like Satan himself

Why do gay people have parades in June?

Because Pride comes before the fall!

How to fall down the stairs

Step 1.

Step 2.

Step 3.

Step 6.

Step 11.

Step 16.

Floor.

I was talking to a lovely young lady and things seemed to be going really well.

Then she said "There's something I want to get out of the way right now," and she reached up and took a wig off her head, and it turned out she was as bald as a new-laid egg.

"Alopecia," she said. "It's a condition that causes hair to fall out."

"Oh," I said. "...Just on your head, or from anywhere else as well?"

"Well," she dimpled, "there's only one way to find out."

"Of course!" I said, and took out my phone. "Hey, Google..."

I got a world map for my wall, I'm going to put pins in all the places I've traveled to ...

... but first, I have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.

(credit to Mitch Hedberg, about 2003)

Do you know why flamingos stand on one leg?

Because if they raise the other leg too, they fall

Two caterpillars are escaping a spider...

They climb up a small branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped.

"Hold on tight!" says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and steers the branch through the air with grace and finesse.

"That's amazing!" says the second caterpillar. "How are you doing that?!"

The first caterpillar scoffs. "Am I the *only one* in the whole damn forest who knows how to drive a stick?"

The American and the Russian

Originally told by U.S. President Reagan in one of his speeches:

>An American and a Russian(before the fall of the Soviet Union) were bragging to one another.
>
>
>American: We have a lot of freedom of speech. We can just go to the White House, barge in the President's office and say: "Mr President, I don't like the way you are running this country!"
>
>
>Russian: That's nothing - we can also go to the Kremlin, barge in Gorbachev's office and say: "Mr General Secretary, I don't like the way President Reagan is running his country!"

If you fall in a pile of french bread, will you die?

No, but you will be in a lot of "pain"

It's hard to tell jokes about lepers

They always seem to fall apart at the end.

When a leaf and an emo fall from a tree witch one hits the ground first

The leaf hits the ground first, emo just keeps hanging up there

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the fall tandem jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working fall downfall piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes