Fall Jokes

172 fall jokes and hilarious fall puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fall that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

As we collectively marvel at changing leaves and relish the warmth of spiced lattes, why not add some mirth to the melange with an array of fall jokes? Perfect for warming up your family gatherings, firing up classroom discussions, or simply peppering your social media captions with some seasonal wit, these fall-themed jokes capture the essence of the season in a light-hearted manner.

With references to iconic autumn elements like pumpkins, falling leaves, and chilly weather, these jokes playfully link nature's annual spectacle to our human capacity for laughter. So, let’s usher in the season of cozy sweaters, festive gatherings, and crackling fires with a dose of humor that’s as refreshing as the crisp fall breeze itself. After all, laughter is a perennial season, and it's in full bloom here!

Funniest Fall Short Jokes

Short fall jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fall humour may include short fell jokes also.

  1. If a tree falls..... A tree falls in the forest but doesn't make a sound.
    Hunter in camouflage gear: "WHAT THE HECK???!"
    Tree: "I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!"
  2. Trumpty Dumpty Trumpty Dumpty promised a wall
    Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall
    All the golf courses and all the white men
    Couldn't Make America Great Again
  3. Step by step guide on how to fall down stairs Step 1:
    Step 2:
    Step 4:
    Step 7:
    Step 12:
    Step 18:
    Step 25:
  4. What's green, fuzzy, has four legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.
  5. How to find out if you're old or not: Fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young. If they panic, you're old.
  6. Today I saw a poor, old woman trip and fall. At least, I assume she was poor. She only had $4.75 in her purse.
  7. I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice.. At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
  8. Why girls don't have willys Little brother came into the kitchen and declared "mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow"
  9. How to fall down the stairs Step 1.
    Step 2.
    Step 3.
    Step 6.
    Step 11.
    Step 16.
  10. TIL why scuba divers fall backwards into the water Because if they fall forward, they would land in the boat.

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Fall One Liners

Which fall one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fall? I can suggest the ones about drop and winter.

  1. Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well!
  2. How to Fall Down the Stairs Step 1
    Step 2
    Step 5
    Step 9
    Step 12
  3. What's green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table
  4. Why did the blind woman fall down the well? Because she couldn't see that well.
  5. Instructions how to fall down stairs: Step 1
    Step 2
    Step 4
    Step 14
  6. Why did the hipster fall into the lake? He went ice skating before it was cool.
  7. A goat, a drum, and a rattlesnake fall down a cliff... ba dum tss
  8. How to fall down stairs * Step 1
    * Step 2
    * Step 4
    * Step 15
  9. My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall But it was his dumb asphalt
  10. I just got my prostate examined. That's the last time I fall asleep on the train.
  11. A Sheep, a Drum, and a Snake fall off a cliff Baa-Dumm-Tsss
  12. I saw a sign that said "Falling rocks" I tried. It doesn't.
  13. What's big and white and will kill you if it falls out a tree? A freezer.
  14. Why don't black people go on cruises? They aren't falling for that one again.
  15. How to fall down stairs Step 1
    Step 6
    Step 8, 9, 11, 12

Fall Asleep Jokes

Here is a list of funny fall asleep jokes and even better fall asleep puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do 50% of married men not fall asleep after sex? Because they still need to drive home
  • I was originally ok with my wife getting a white noise machine in our bedroom turns out falling asleep to country music is harder than I thought
  • What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer? Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.
  • There's an actual medical term for when your foot falls asleep. It's called 'coma toes'
  • Many people can't fall asleep due to some obsessive thoughts. Been thinking about this all night.
  • CNN says that Trumpists have been falling asleep at Trump rallies lately Trump says it's all just fake snooze.

    Credit where credit is due I stole this from YouTube comments.
  • Girl are you a dishwasher? Because I would like to fill you with my dirty load in the evening, turn you on, and fall asleep before you finish
  • Did you hear the one about rim jobs? It's very tongue in cheek.
    -came up with this while trying to fall asleep. Pretty sure it's OC
  • How do you know you're falling asleep and not just dying peacefuly? You don't.
  • I was fired after falling asleep on personal documents. Apparently you can't lie on your resume.

Fall Back Jokes

Here is a list of funny fall back jokes and even better fall back puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Me: "It's not about how many times you fall. What matters is how many times you get back up." Officer: "That isn't how field sobriety tests work."
  • So my girlfriend is getting a bit older and her teeth are starting to fall out. It's okay, though. They'll grow back.
  • Me: It's not how many times you fall, it's how many times you get back up. Cop: That's not how sobriety tests work.
  • Raising my fist to the sky, I roared, "It's not how many times you fall down, it's how many times you get back up!" "Sir, that's not how field sobriety tests work." the cop replied.
  • What does an Eskimo do if his house falls down? Igloos it back together.
  • A woman texted me with the message, "Your adorable." I texted back, "No. YOU'RE adorable."
    Now she's falling for me. I was only correcting her grammar.
  • Easter this year is April Fools Day Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.
  • Two atoms are walking back home together... One of the atom stumbles and falls
    Atom: ouch, I think I just lost an electron.
    Atom 2: are you sure?
    Atom: I'm positive.
  • So I said, "It's not about how many times you fall down. It's about how many times you get back up." And the cop said, "Sir, now I'm going to ask you to take a breathalyzer test."
  • There is an old Scottish proverb that says.... If you're smart enough to fall asleep in a field of cows, you're guaranteed to get a pat on the back.
Fall joke, There is an old Scottish proverb that says....

Fall Guys Jokes

Here is a list of funny fall guys jokes and even better fall guys puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I was at the airport when I saw a guy fall unconscious on the baggage carousel. He came around slowly.
  • I know a guy who survived an 8000-foot fall out of a plane. Until he hit the ground.
  • I went skydiving today. The guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane, and as we began to fall he yelled in my ear "So how long you been an instructor?
  • What's the difference between 'Light' and 'Hard'? Guys can fall asleep with a light on....
  • What's the difference between a guy falling from the 20th or the 1st floor of a building? 20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!*
    1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*
  • I'm in a gaming clan and our favorite season is Autumn We're the Fall Guys
  • How do you make a guy with one arm fall out of a tree? Wave
  • What do you call a guy who falls into a Yellowstone hot spring? Stew.
  • Two Melons Fall In Love The guy says, I love you so much, my sweet little honey dew. I don't want to wait. Let's run away to Vegas together.
    The girl replies, No, baby. I cantaloupe.
  • I was walking along and I saw a guy fall into a nest of mosquitoes... was malarious!

Fall Leaves Jokes

Here is a list of funny fall leaves jokes and even better fall leaves puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Maybe if I fall in love with my anxiety it'll leave me too.
  • A man and a Giraffe walk into a bar. The Giraffe gets drunk and falls on the floor unconscious.
    The bartender says "you can't leave that lyin' there."
    The man says "its not a Lion, its a Giraffe"
  • How do you make leaves fall off of trees? You don't - they do it autumn-atically
  • UK: We call it "Autumn", from the French word "Automne", and later, from the Latin "autumnus". USA: WE CALL IT FALL BECAUSE LEAVES FALL DOWN
  • A joke for fall. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
  • Tingly feeling You know that nice tingly feeling you get when you're falling for someone?
    That's common sense leaving your body.
  • Did you know that when leaves fall off of trees in the Autumn, it's because of nostalgia? They're trying to get back to their roots.
  • Why do trees drop their leaves in the fall? It's autumn-atic.
  • Whats the best thing about dating Nicki Minaj? She won't fall in the toilet if you leave the seat up.
  • Ah Toronto, the only city where the leaves fall in autumn... ...and the Leafs fall in the spring
Fall joke, Ah Toronto, the only city where the leaves fall in autumn...

Witty Fall Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about fall you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean collapsed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fall pranks.

The thing I love most about this fall weather is the UGG boots and yoga pants..

... Though, they do make me look a bit gay.

One soldier

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

Why did Isaac Newton's son know so much about gravity?

The apple didn't fall far from the tree.

I came up with a clever strategy to get my girlfriend to like my wordplay-loving family....

....but she didn't fall for my punning clan.

So, Jesus and Satan are sitting on a park bench one day

...just chilling, and Satan asks, "Hey JC, what's it called when little chunks of ice fall from the sky? It's not like I get to see it very often."
Jesus says, "Hail, Satan."
And Satan's all like, "YEEEEEAH, BOI!"
And Jesus is all like, "Oh, you."

My wife wasn't happy.

True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"
My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"
I replied, "my life."

Where did sally go when the bomb went off?

- everywhere.
Why did sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms..
Knock knock..
Whose there?
-not sally.

I saw a poor old lady fall on the ice today

Atleast I think she was poor. She only had $.75 in her wallet.

After a disappointing summer,

Humpty Dumpty ended up having a great fall.

A falling battery killed a man today.

It was charged with m**....

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?

Because if they fell forward they'd still be on the boat. :D

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.

My girlfriend told me I look "uncool" with a bike helmet on...

Well you know I'd rather look uncool than fall and split my head open during s**....

A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Who hits the ground first?

The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

I spent a year writing a romance novel where two blood cells meet and fall in love. It never got published.

It was all in vein.

I know a hypnotist who could control the whole audience.

He'd enter the room, say 'sleep' and everyone would fall asleep.
He'd say ''laugh'', the audience would burst out laughing.
One day, he entered the room where he would make his show as usual, but tripped in the stairs; and yelled '**...''!
The room took three hours to clean.

Why did the black boy fall off his bike?

He didn't. He fell off your bike.

Why did the old lady fall into the well?

She didn't see that well

The one thing that all women find attractive

...a man who doesn't fall for clickbait

A sheep,a p**... and a snake walk together then fall of a cliff...

*Baah Dum Tssssss*

Friends are like trees

They fall down when you hit them with an axe

Why did the old lady fall in the well?

Because she couldn't see that well

Why did the polynomial tree fall over?

It didn't have any real roots

I dont know why its called kidnapping,

Ive never got one of those little b**... to fall asleep

A father was sitting at the table with his two daughters

Petal and Fridge.
Petal said, "Dad, why is my name Petal?"
Her dad answered, "Because a flower petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born."

Two women named Rachel meet and fall in love.

They decide to get married and go to the baker's to pick out a wedding cake. The baker inquires about their story and appalled, refuses to bake them a wedding cake. They are very upset and accuse the baker of narrow-mindedness and bigotry. "Oh, no, no, no," the baker responds, "I don't have a problem with gay marriage, I just can't support an inter-Rachel marriage!"
Happy Valentine's, everyone!

Woke up to a b**... earlier.

That's the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open..

I keep falling off my bike.

It's a vicious cycle.

I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.

An emo and an apple fall out of a tree. Which one hits the ground first?

The apple, the emo is stopped by the rope.

Humpty Dumpty always had a terrible summer.

At least he had a great fall.

My wife said we needed to childproof our upright piano, so it wouldn't fall over on our toddler...

... I said that was a good idea, because I wouldn't want a flat minor.

Two blondes fall down a well

One says to the other ones, "isn't it dark down here" she replies, I don't know I can't see

I went to the liquor store on my bike the other day to get some v**...

But I was afraid that I would fall of my bike on my way home and break the bottle, so I drank the entire bottle before I went home. Which ended up being a good thing since I fell of my bike 7 times on my way home

Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

Retail store. I know I'm lame.

I've just fallen through the roof of a French bakery...

Now I'm in a world of pain.

A patient with insomnia goes to a doctor

A patient with insomnia goes to a doctor. (Russian Joke)
P: "Doc, I just can't fall asleep. Thousands of thoughts enter my mind and I stay awake through the night."
Doc: "here take (MiraLax - or alternative strong laxative) and it should help you"
P:" will this help me fall asleep?
Doc: "No, but you will only have one thing on your mind"
Sorry, translated this from Russian, may not be as funny in English

I rode to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle...

I bought a bottle of r**... and put it in the bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave I thought for a moment. If I fall off the bicycle, the bottle might break.
To avoid that, I drank all of the r**... before I left the store.
It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off the bike seven times on my way home

i went to the liquor store on my bike.

i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle v**... and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. so i drank it all right there and its a good thing i did cause i fell 7 times on the way home
apparently this was posted before...i had no idea. a friend sent me a voice recording of someone telling it and i posted it ..sorry

What do you drive in the fall?

An Autumn-mobile.
I came up with this when I was six :)

Communism's fall shouldn't have come as a surprise

There were many red flags

A friend once asked me how to get a fat girl to fall in love with me.

I replied, "piece of cake."

A father has two sons named Joe and Mikey and the live on the third floor of their apartment.

One day the father goes to store, but leaves the key to his car in the apartment. He see's Joe in the window and shouts to him, "throw my key out the window!"
Sadly, Mikey didn't survive the fall

Gender Equality

Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent from CNN noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front.
The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality.
"No", the man replied. "Land-mines."

The Trump administration is like the International Space Station

They're in constant free fall, and they needed Russia's help to get there

My wife tells me I look uncool wearing a bike helmet

But I'd rather look uncool than fall and split my head open during s**....

Why do lions only mate in the summer?

Because the pride cometh before the fall

Church is like s**...

I fall asleep right after I come

Two nuts were hanging out in a tree. One slipped and started to fall.

The other one said Don't worry man, I'm a cashew

A cop just stopped me for jaywalking and then tasered me after exchanging a few words...

Police: Turn around.
Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round...
Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ev--AHHHHHH!

I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious today.

Well, I'm assuming she was poor because she had only a dollar in her purse.

I went to the liquor store on my bicycle and bought a bottle v**..., put it in the basket on the front and then it occurred to me that if I fall or something happens, the bottle might break, so I drank it all right there and it's a good thing I did...

...'cause I fell 7 times on the way home...

What's the difference between IKEA and Theresa May?

A cabinet designed by IKEA doesn't fall apart so easily.

Scientists have discovered why flamingos stand on one leg

Because if they lifted the other one as well, they'd fall.

Pride is like the summer...

It comes before the fall.

A married couple is getting ready to go out for the evening. The husband is in the shower and the wife is just getting out of the bathtub when the doorbell rings.

The wife hurriedly wraps herself in a towel and answers the door. It's their neighbor, Bob. Bob looks at the wife, who is quite beautiful, and says, I'll give you $800 to let that towel drop. The wife thinks about if for a bit, then lets the towel fall. Bob gives her a thorough visual inspection, then reaches into his wallet and hands her $800. She goes back inside. Who was at the door, honey? asks the husband. Oh, it was our neighbor Bob, she says. Great, says the husband. Did he happen to mention the $800 he owes me?

Last night I rode my bike to the liquor store

... and bought a bottle of whisky. I put the bottle in the bike basket but before riding back I thought: what if I fall down for some reason? The bottle will break! So I drank the whole bottle of whisky before riding home.
And thank God I did, because I must have fallen down about a dozen times before I got home.

A blonde was touring a farm...

...and asked the farmer, "Why doesn't that cow over there have horns?"
"There are many reasons why a cow doesn't have horns," began the farmer. "Some cows are bred to be hornless. On some cows, the horns come in later. Sometimes, the horns are removed. And on some cows, the horns fall off. That particular cow doesn't have horns because it's a horse."

Why did the nearsighted woman fall into a well?

Because she couldn't see that well.

Fall joke, Why did the nearsighted woman fall into a well?

jokes about fall