fall Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious fall puns

My life completely changed after I learned Morse Code

Last night, for example, I couldn't fall asleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

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i went to the liquor store on my bike.

i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle vodka and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. so i drank it all right there and its a good thing i did cause i fell 7 times on the way home

apparently this was posted before...i had no idea. a friend sent me a voice recording of someone telling it and i posted it ..sorry

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I woke up to a blowjob this morning.

That's the last time I fall asleep on the subway with my mouth open

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I rode to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle...

I bought a bottle of Rum and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave I thought for a moment. If I fall off the bicycle, the bottle might break.

To avoid that, I drank all of the rum before I left the store.

It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off the bike seven times on my way home

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How to Fall Down the Stairs

Step 1

Step 2

Step 5

Step 9

Step 12

Floor

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I went to the liquor store on my bicycle and bought a bottle vodka, put it in the basket on the front and then it occurred to me that if I fall or something happens, the bottle might break, so I drank it all right there and it's a good thing I did...

...'cause I fell 7 times on the way home...

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Why did the blind woman fall down the well?

Because she couldn't see that well.

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Instructions how to fall down stairs:

Step 1

Step 2

Step 4

Step 14

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Why did the hipster fall into the lake?

He went ice skating before it was cool.

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How to find out if you're old or not:

Fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young. If they panic, you're old.

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A goat, a drum, and a rattlesnake fall down a cliff...

ba dum tss

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A cop just stopped me for jaywalking and then tasered me after exchanging a few words...

Police: Turn around.

Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round...

Police: TURN AROUND!!

Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ev--AHHHHHH!

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Today I saw a poor, old woman trip and fall.

At least, I assume she was poor. She only had $4.75 in her purse.

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I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice..

At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

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My wife wasn't happy.

True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"

My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"

I replied, "my life."

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Today i was woken up with a blowjob..

i will never fall asleep with my mouth open anymore.

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Why girls don't have willys

Little brother came into the kitchen and declared "mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow"

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Why did the blind lady fall into the well?

Because... she couldn't see that well.

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TIL why scuba divers fall backwards into the water

Because if they fall forward, they would land in the boat.

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How to fall down stairs

* Step 1
* Step 2
* Step 4
* Step 15

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My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall

But it was his dumb asphalt

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Woke up to a blow job earlier.

That's the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open..

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I just got my prostate examined.

That's the last time I fall asleep on the train.

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One soldier

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

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The thing I love most about this fall weather is the UGG boots and yoga pants..

... Though, they do make me look a bit gay.

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A Sheep, a Drum, and a Snake fall off a cliff

Baa-Dumm-Tsss

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Why did the blind man fall in the well?

Because he couldn't see that well.

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My wife said we needed to childproof our upright piano, so it wouldn't fall over on our toddler...

... I said that was a good idea, because I wouldn't want a flat minor.

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An emo and an apple fall out of a tree. Which one hits the ground first?

The apple, the emo is stopped by the rope.

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I went to the liquor store on my bike...

... and bought a bottle of vodka, put it in the basket on the front. It then occurred to me that if I fall or something happens, the bottle might break, so I drank it right then and there, it's a good thing I did because I fell 6 times on the way home.

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Gender Equality

Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent from CNN noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front.

The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality.

"No", the man replied. "Land-mines."

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How to fall down stairs

Step 1

Step 6

Step 8, 9, 11, 12

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You know that tingly sensation you get when you fall in love with somebody?

That's common sense leaving your body.

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A falling battery killed a man today.

It was charged with murder.

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Why did the polynomial tree fall over?

It didn't have any real roots

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What are the most funny Fall jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Fall? Well, here are the best Fall dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Fall pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes