Fall Dad Jokes
33 fall dad jokes and hilarious fall dad puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fall dad that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
It was autumn and the leaves were falling, so one person decided to read some fall dad jokes. They found them online and laughed out loud at each one. They thought they were so funny that they decided to share them with their friends. They sent the jokes to their group chat and everyone had a good laugh.
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Funniest Fall Dad Short Jokes
Short fall dad jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fall dad humour may include short dead dad jokes also.
- -Dad, did you ever fall in love with a teacher? -Yes son, the kindergarden teacher
-And what happened?
-Your mother was not amused, we had to take you to another school. - My dad while watching Olympics figure skating: "Ya know what they call that move when they fall?" "...a triple klutz"
- Pork Chop Most people are confused when I tell them that me and my dad had a falling out over him cutting up my little Pork Chop.
I guess that they don't understand the bond between man and dog. - Dad jokes win Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?
Because if they didn't the would fall into the boat - A tomato dad, mother, and son are walking in a street. The tomato son falls behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on him, and yells, "Ketchup!"
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Fall Dad One Liners
Which fall dad one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fall dad? I can suggest the ones about christmas dad and bad dad.
- "Dad, what made you fall ill in Hawaii?" "Poi, son."
Fall Dad Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about fall dad you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fat dad jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fall dad pranks.
Jesus, Moses, and an old man go golfing.
The first one to tee off is Moses. He smashes the ball and it is heading right for the water hazard before the green. Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball makes it to the green. Jesus gets up to swing, cranks it out, and it is headed for the water hazard. Jesus closes his eyes and prays. The ball skips across the water and lands on the green two feet from the hole. The old man's turn comes and he drives the ball. The ball looks like it is going to drop directly into the water. A fish jumps from the water hazard swallowing the ball, as an eagle drops from the sky, grabbing the fish. As the eagle flies over the green, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, making it drop the fish. As the fish hits the green, it spits out the ball and the ball falls into the hole, making a hole in one. Jesus looks at Moses and says, "I really think I'm leaving Dad at home next time!"
A rancher and his family have a milk cow...
A rancher and his family have a milk cow, and not much else to their name. The milk is the sweetest, toppest grade dairy around.
One day, the rancher wakes up and finds his milk cow dead. Unable to face life with his sole source of income gone, he sets up a noose in the barn and takes his life.
The rancher's wife wakes up that same day, and goes to find her husband. When she sees the cow dead, and her husband hanging beside it, she goes to the nearby river and drowns herself.
The rancher's eldest son wakes up, finds the cow, his dad, and his mother all dead. He is approached by a beautiful woman who says that if he can make love to her 10 times in a row, that she will revive his parents and the cow. If he failed, she would kill him.
The eldest son, of course eager, immediately agrees. He doesn't make it, and she kills him on the spot.
The second eldest son wakes up, finds his family dead along with the cow, and is approached by this same mysterious beautiful woman, who proposes the same arrangement. This son, also eager, quickly jumps at the opportunity.
Again, the son falls short and is killed.
The third and youngest son wakes up and finds his family and cow dead, and is approached by the woman.
"Rough day, huh?" She said, offering him the same deal as her brothers.
"So I make love to you 10 times without stopping... and you bring everyone back... What if I make love to you 15 times?"
"Well... I'll bring everyone back, even the cow, and put a mansion where your little ranch is."
"Ok... well what if I make love to you 20 times without stopping?"
Laughing, the mysterious woman says, "Well, I'll give you a great big bag of gold, jewels, and money. So much that you and your family will be set for life."
"Fine, fine... but last question. If I make love to you 20 times without stopping, what's to stop you from dying from it? The milk cow did."
So Jesus, Moses and an old man go golfing
The first to play is Jesus. After his swing, the ball land in the lake. He runs towards it, walks on the water and grabs the ball. Then it's Moses' turn. Bad luck, the same thing happens to him. He walks to the lake, spreads the water into two parts and grabs the ball on the dry ground. Finally, it's time for the old man to play. His ball lands on the top of a tree. Instead of getting the ball, he just waits. After a few minutes, a squirrel hiding in the tree takes the ball and goes down. Then a wolf attacks the squirrel, kills it and eats it. He goes further and ends up vomitting the ball, which is then taken by an eagle. The eagle goes even further, but a hunter shoots it down. The ball falls down and lands exactly in the golf hole. It's hole-in-one and the old man wins. Moses looks at Jesus and says: "I hate playing with your dad."
Sorry if it's a bit long, but I really like that one. Also sorry for my writing, I'm not a native English speaker.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Man has to put his father in a nursing home...
And so a week later, the man goes to visit his father.
The man is walking down the hall, and he sees his father sitting at the end of the hall between two orderlies.
As he walks closer, his father falls over on his left side, and the orderly on that side props him back up.
The man continues walking, and sees his father tip over to the right side, and the orderly on that side props him back upright.
As he is a few steps away, he sees his father start leaning forward, and both orderlies lock arms with his father, and pull him back upright into a sitting position.
The man arrives at his father, and says "Wow, Dad, it looks like they are taking very good care of you." and his father replies "Sure they are, but they won't let me f**...!"
Two of my favorite jokes by my favorite comedian
"Me and girlfriend..... we're not together anymore. She's got a new boyfriend now. They just moved in together. Actually, I've heard rumors that he's abusive, which kinda makes me want to go over there with a baseball bat...... and then blame it on her boyfriend."
"My girlfriend has the greatest story as to why she isn't religious anymore.
When she was a kid, like 12 years old, her parents nailed a 25 pound crucifix to the wall right above her bed. About two weeks later, in the middle of the night, the crucifix falls off the wall and leaves a two inch gash in the back of her dad's head." - Anthony Jeselnik
A man phones home from his business trip...
His 9yo son answers and says hey.
"Hey buddy, it's dad! Wheres youre mom?"
"I will check", replies the son as he walks to his parents' bedroom and sees his mom in bed with uncle Jim. "She is playing in bed with uncle Jim"
"What?! Uncle Jim?! Tell them I will be right over!" the man fumes.
"Mom, dad says he'll be right over", says the kid. His mom starts panicking and shouting, uncle Jim jumps quickly from the window and falls in the empty pool and cracks his head. The mom rolls in sheets, exits the room and falls down the stairs and cracks her head.
The kid looks around and starts crying.
"What happened son?"
"Mom fell down the stairs abd uncle Jim jumped into the empty pool and died" he squeals.
"The pool?" Asks the man. "Is this the Goldberg house??"
A man with three daughters.
So, there was a man with three daughters.
One morning, his eldest daughter asks, "Dad, why is my name Rose?"
The man replies, "Sweetheart, that's easy. The first thing to fall and grace your head was a rose, so we named you Rose."
Rose says, "Okay that makes sense," and she leaves.
The next morning, his second daughter asks, "Why is my name Daisy?"
The man replies, "Sweety, that's easy. The first thing to fall and grace your head was a daisy, so we named you Daisy."
Daisy says, "Alright that makes sense," and leaves.
The next morning, his third daughter yells, "UGHH NAA UHHHHH!"
"SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!" says the man.
Best results if you actually yell, make a face and throw hands everywhere.
My wife wasn't happy.
True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"
My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"
I replied, "my life."
Jesus, Moses, and this guy are out golfing...
and the hole is a notorious Par 3 with a huge lake before the green. Moses takes a shot and hits it right into the lake. With his second shot he parts the lake, knocks it on the green, and right after he putts it in for par.
Jesus goes next and he too can't clear the water hazard and the ball just sticks on the surface without sinking. He walked right across the surface of the water where he chipped it in for a birdie.
The two looked back at the man awaiting his shot with smug faces. He hits the ball and like the others it falls right into the lake. Jesus and Moses snicker a little bit before a fish swims to the surface with the ball in it's mouth as an eagle swoops down from the clouds and grabs the fish. As it flies away the ball falls out of the fishes mouth landing on the green where a squirrel runs across and pushes it into the cup for a hole in one.
Moses throws down his club and looks and Jesus and says "Man I HATE playing golf with your Dad!"
Difference between a tragedy and a disaster
A boy asks his dad the difference between tragedy and a disaster. The father answers "a tragedy is if we were on a boat and your mother falls off the boat into the water". "So what's a disaster" asks the boy, "if your mother knows how to swim" says the father.
Sorry for my poor English, this joke is translated
A father was sitting at the table with his two daughters
Petal and Fridge.
Petal said, "Dad, why is my name Petal?"
Her dad answered, "Because a flower petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born."
Then Fridge said, "HUURRGRRUWAHGUWAAAAAH!"
The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree
Son: "Dad where did I come from?"
Dad: "One day your mother and I were walking through an apple orchard..."
Son *rolls eyes*: "And you grabbed an apple not far from a tr..."
Dad: "I slipped in cider."
Jesus, Moses and an Old man are playing golf.
Moses is up first, and after whacking the ball, it falls into a lake. He parts the waters, hits the ball again onto the green.
Then, Jesus has his go, the ball soars at the same lake but this time it floats, so he walks across the water and hits the ball onto the green.
Then the old man steps up. He hits towards the lake but before it hits the water, a trout jumps up and grabs the ball. Before it drops back to the lake an eagle swoops down and catches the trout. - flying over the green and squeezing the trout, making it drop the ball into the hole.
At this point Jesus turns around and says: "Dad, stop messing around we're trying to play golf"
Why did the first monkey...
Fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.
A joke told by my dad many a time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If your fat uncle named jack falls over your dad.
"Will you help your uncle j**... your dad ?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The day my dog died
When I was about four years old my brother had an old beater of a sports car, and one day he and my dad were draining the gas tank before they do more work. So they drain the gas into a bucket and then go inside for beer. My dog Hershey's t**... on up to the bucket and takes a nice long drink.. And then he began to run laps around our house, faster and faster until my dad came out to see all the commotion. Just as he got out Hershey's falls down on to his back and is still.
My dad frantically asked me What happened is the dog okay?!
I laughed and said Yeah he's fine, he just ran out of gas.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... with Bill Cosby is like watching Ghost Dad.
You'll fall asleep two minutes in, and won't want to admit it happened for the next 30 years.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hey dad, why is my sister named Uma Thurman?
"Oh it's your mother's favorite fall out boy song"
"Thanks Dad"
"No problem I've Got A Bad Idea And A Dark Alley That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth!"
A dad and a son walk into the bar the kids 21st birthday.
The son is only a head however. The dad places him on the bar and asks the bartender for 2 drinks. After the son finishes the first his torso magically appears. Astonished the dad asks for another round. The sons arms appear. Again and his legs appear until the son has all his limbs. The son is so estactic that he runs around the bar for the first time in his life until he falls and hits his head and dies. The bartender turns to the father and says he should've stopped while he was a head.
An oldie my Dad constantly tells me
Two men walk into the the theatre to watch a charlie chaplin film. Guy 1 makes a bet: "I bet Chaplin gets bopped the moment he walks around the corner" and guy 2 accepts.
They watch the film and as predicted, Chaplin get hit on the head so guy 2 has to pay up.
The first guy returns the money saying: "It wasn't a fair bet, I had already watched it ahead of time" but guy 2 tells him to keep it: "I did too, but I didn't expect him to fall for the same trick twice".
Bazinga
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy's wishes started coming true
There was a boy who was scolded by his teacher everyday and one day he said to himself, "I wish the s**... man gets run over" and sure enough the next day, news come of the death of his former teacher. The next day he was teased by his older sister so he said again, "I wish she breaks her arm" and sure enough her sister falls from the stairs and breaks her arm. One day his dad tells him off for something and he says, "I wish my dad would die." When he wakes up the next day, his dad was still there however his mum was nowhere to be seen. So he asked his dad where was his mother gone and his dad replies, "she has gone to attend the neighbor's f**...."
Simon is in the school play and invites his parents
Now his parents don't think he'll be very good. Halfway through the play a floorboard breaks underneath Simon and he falls through. 'Dont worry' Simon's dad whispers to his wife 'It's just a stage he's going through!'
Monster under the bed
Jim hears his son call his name, so he walks in his sons room. Jim's son, Howard says with a tremble in his voice, "Dad, there's a monster under my bed." Jim unconvinced walks to his son's bed and looks underneath. There he sees his son crying and startled as he whispers, "Dad, there's a monster sleeping in my bed." Jim falls backwards from the shock and comes to a sence of relief when he realised that he had forgotten that he had twins.
Moses, Jesus and an old man are playing golf together.
Moses swings and the ball rolls towards a river. The river splits and the ball goes through. Jesus shrugs, and hits the ball straight onto the river. It rolls straight over. The old man smiles and hits the ball into the river. A fish swallows the ball, an eagle swoops down, grabs the fish and flies off. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, it drops the fish, the ball falls into the hole. Moses turns to Jesus "I hate playing with your dad."
Moses, Jesus and an old man were playing golf.
Moses swings and the ball rolls towards a river. The river splits and the ball goes through. Hole in one.
Jesus shrugs, and hits the ball straight onto the river. It rolls straight over. Hole in one.
The old man smiles and hits the ball into the river. A fish swallows the ball, an eagle swoops down, grabs the fish and flies off. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, it drops the fish, the ball falls into the hole.
Moses turns to Jesus and says
"I hate playing with your dad."
Pete and Repeat walk across a bridge. Pete falls off, who's left?
Admittedly it works better verbally, but my dad always liked to get me with this one. Without fail it would always send 5yr old me into fits of giggles and rage.
