Fall Break Jokes
46 fall break jokes and hilarious fall break puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fall break that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Fall Break Short Jokes
Short fall break jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fall break humour may include short fall season jokes also.
- BREAKING NEWS: Ethiopian falls into crocodile pond 17 crocodiles confirmed dead so far, with ethiopian still actively feeding.
- I dropped the thanksgiving dinner and caused a geopolitical incident. The fall of Turkey. The splattering of Greece. And the breaking up of China.
- I remember during P.E. Class when I never played but held everyone's Samsungs while they did play so they didn't break or fall. Guess you can say I'm guardian of the galaxies....
- What's mostly black, and if it were to fall out of a tree, would break your heater? Your heater
- A Mexican and an Israeli couple have a falling out and break up "I'm sorry Moshe, it's not me, it's jew"
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Fall Break One Liners
Which fall break one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fall break? I can suggest the ones about fall leaves and fall leaf.
- What can't a man with no arms break? His fall.
- It's black, and when it falls out of a tree your piano breaks. Your piano.
- What's white and breaks when your refrigerator falls out of a tree? Your refrigerator.
- What hurts more than a break up? Hair fall.
- What is grey, very big and when it falls out of a tree the stove breaks? The stove.
- What falls down but never breaks? Anyone?
- Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?
- What is old, rusty and when it falls on your face it breaks your neck? 911x Nokia 3310's
Fall Break Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about fall break you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean summer break jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fall break pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I heard this one at school today
Jack and Amy both work for the same company. Their work is going fine until the economy falls and the company starts downsizing. The boss was given the option to fire one of them. He calls Amy into his office to break her the news. He says: "I'll either have to lay you or j**...".
Drunk man refuses to pay bus fare.
On Friday night a drunk man gets on a bus. Bus driver tells him its $1.25 and the drunk reaches into his pocket slowly trying not to fall. The bus driver notices this and steps on the gas causing the drunk to fumble to the back of the bus. Then the bus driver steps on the break pedal and caused the drink to stumble to the front of the bus. The bus driver does this multiple time over the course of 10 blocks until the drunk tells him his stop is the next. The bus driver reminds him he still has to pay. The drunk says "what for? I walked the whole way!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three guys were at the gates of Heaven.
God says to each of them, "If you tell me how you died, I'll let you into Heaven."
The First guy looks at God and says, "I live in an eight story apartment building and my apartment in on the seventh floor on the west side of the building. I had left work early because I had an assumption that my wife was cheating on me.
"So I had made it home and saw my wife in bed, clothed in only a bath robe, and she was sweating. I searched around for the guy she was cheating on me with, but I couldn't find him.
"So I go outside on my balcony and I see a pair of hands hanging from the balcony. I just knew that was him! I tried stepping on his hands but his grip was too strong; so I go inside, which is the kitchen, and tip my refrigerator over and push it off the edge. Unfortunately, my leg was caught by the cord and I fall to my death."
God allows the man into Heaven.
The Second man, furious, says, "I live in an eight story apartment on the top floor. I am a business man. I was outside sorting paper work when a gust of wind blows my papers in the air. As I reach for them, the fence to my balcony breaks and I was hanging on for dear life a floor below when this idiot steps on my hands and throws a refrigerator at me!"
God allows him into Heaven.
The Third guy looks at God and says, "Picture this... You're in a refrigerator... n**....."
Out on the golf course, a beautiful woman asks three men for some help with her putt.
"Whichever of you can help me sink this putt, I will give that guy a night he will never forget."
The teenager walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup."
The middle-aged man walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster! Aim 12 inches to the right, and the ball will break left two feet from the hole and fall into the cup."
The elderly man looks at the other two men in disgust, picks up the ball, drops it into the cup, takes her by the arm and says, "That's a Gimme."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Everything can be reduced to a f**... joke ...
Even physics:
We know that everything on earth falls at the same rate of acceleration, 32 feet per second per second. The difference comes down to mass and wind resistance, as shown by a flat piece of paper and one balled up. This means that the determining factor in your total decent is how much wind you break!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... and Michael are out walking when p**... falls down a well....
Michael shouts down "p**...! have you broken anything???"
p**... replies "No! there's nothing down here to break!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old couple is sitting on the front porch
Old couple is sitting on the front porch. Grandpa is sitting on the bench reading the newspaper, grandma is in a rocking chair knitting. They have been together since prom night. *Grandma seems angry, gets up from the chair goes to grandpa and slaps him so hard he drops the newspaper, his glasses fall on the porch breaking the lens in it.*
Grandpa seems more offended than angry and ask grandma:
*\- Why did you do this?*
grandma replies:
*\- Because throughout the 50 years of our marriage s**... with you was awful!*
Grandpa picks up the newspaper from the ground, fumbles with his lens. After about a minute, *grandpa gets off the bench walks to grandma and kicks out the rocking chair of grandma.* Grandma falls into the flowerbed, sweeps the dirt from her hair and asks grandpa:
*\- Are you out of your mind old f**...? What did you this for?*
grandpa replies:
*\- How do you know what good s**... is?!*
An Indian man is at home...
An Indian man is at home, cooking for his family. He is a very wealthy scientist, so he was able to purchase a tandoor. Tonight he decides to break it in. As he takes his bread out, he notices something strange. It almost falls apart in his hands. As he gets it on the plate, it turns into a viscous liquid. Amazed, he began trying to figure out what this was. After several minutes of keeping his family waiting, he let's out an audible "Aha!" He then proceeds to slam his fist onto the bread. Miraculously, the bread held together and almost seemed to form a solid.
"Just as I thought." He says.
"A Naan-Newtonian Fluid."
So a blonde goes to a lying competition...
The goal of the competition is to tell the most convincing, outrageous lie. The blonde thinks for days and days over what lie she is going to tell but she is never able to come up with a good one.
On the day of the competition, she walks up on stage, still lacking a good lie. She reaches for the microphone, grasping for any idea, and stares at the crowd. "hmm, let me think about this", she mutters to herself.
The crowd breaks into cheers and applause, confetti falls from the sky, and the Judge walks up to her, and gives her the first place award.
( i think this is original, it works better the way my father said it in hindi, but it I hope yall like it)
Two men are climbing a mountain. One of them slips and falls.
"Oh my god are you alive?!? Can you hear me?!?"
-- "Yes, I'm alive."
"Did you break your legs?"
-- "No, my legs are fine."
"Did you break your arms?
-- "No, they're OK."
"Well, thank goodness, climb back up!"
-- "I can't."
"Why not?"
-- "I'm still falling."
Donald Trump Skating on a Frozen Lake...
Donald Trump is staking on a frozen pond when suddenly the ice breaks and he falls in. Luckily three small boys were on hand to pull him out. ""You boys saved my life" says Donald. "How can I repay you?"
The first boy asks for a toy car and the second boy asks for a toy plane. The third boy however asks for a motorised wheelchair. "Why do you want a wheelchair? You look perfectly healthy" says Donald. "I am" says the boy. "But I'm going to need one after my sister discovers I saved Donald Trump".
May Sound like a Joke to Some
Husband comes home drunk and breaks some crockery,
vomits and falls down on the floor...
Wife pulls him up and cleans everything.
Next day wen he gets up he expects her to be really angry wid him....
He prays that they should not have a
fight..
He finds a note near the table...
"Honey..your favorite breakfast is ready on the table,
i had to leave early to buy grocery...
i will come running back to you, my love.
I love you. ...
He gets surprised and asks his son..,
'what happened last night..?
Son told...,"
when mom pulled you to bed and tried
removing your boots and shirt..
you were dead drunk and you said......
" Hey Lady ! Leave Me Alone...
I M Married !!!
Expecting Wife
Just as Dave was about to fall asleep, his wife shook him and said, "I hear someone breaking in."
At least two nights a week for twenty years Dave had gone through this. He knew that the only way he would get any rest was to go and check it out. So, he went out for a routine check.
When Dave entered the living room he was suprised to see a thief. The man held a gun on him and continued to rob the house.
As the theif was about to leave Dave said, "You have to go and meet my wife."
The thief said, "Why would you want me to meet your wife?"
Dave replied, "Well, she's been expecting you since 20 years."
A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg,...
When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him. The narwhal comes and the penguin asks "Thank goodness you're around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?". The narwhal stares at him for a bit.
"Ok, so what are your hobbies?"
3 years ago during my first reservists training
I am from Singapore and all relatively healthy males need to serve the army for 2 years and 10 reservist cycles
During my first reservists, many of our combat boots start to fall apart due to the adhesive hardening up and breaking apart, thus many of us have to walk to the store to purchase new boots while wearing the boots that were disintegrating with every step
There is only 1 route and it is a walk by the road, and many boots do not hold itself together long enough to reach the store
I call this road
*The road of lost soles*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
i went to the liquor store on my bike.
i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle v**... and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. so i drank it all right there and its a good thing i did cause i fell 7 times on the way home
apparently this was posted before...i had no idea. a friend sent me a voice recording of someone telling it and i posted it ..sorry
Jesus is on the cross..
..fading fast he yells to his disciple Paul.
"Paul come to me my child. Come to me!"
Paul musters all his strength to break through the crowd.
"Yes my lord, I am coming to you"
Jesus continues to yell for Paul. Paul now crying falls at Jesus feet....
"Yes my lord!!!?"
"Paul, I can see your house from here".
Loch Ness
An atheist is walking along the bank of Loch Ness, suddenly, out of the depths appears Nessie.
She snatched the athiest up in her jaws and threw her head back, throwing the atheist up in the air. Just before he was about to fall into Nessie's jaws he cries out :
"Oh god help me!"
Amazingly, time froze and God appeared next to the atheistand God asked:
"My son, all your life you have forsaken me, why now do you call upon me?"
The atheist responded with: "Give me a break, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster five minutes ago either!"
A staggering drunk knocks over a pregnant lady who is carrying a bag of groceries...
2 eggs and a bottle of ketchup fall and break to the sidewalk. The drunk say "Sorry lady, but it would have died anyway. Its eyes were too far apart.
So a blonde is invited to a Lying competition
The goal of the competition is to tell the most convincing, outrageous lie. The blonde thinks for days and days over what lie she is going to tell but she is never able to come up with a good one.
On the day of the competition, she walks up on stage, still lacking a good lie. She reaches for the microphone, grasping for any idea, and stares at the crowd. "hmm, let me think about this", she mutters to herself.
The crowd breaks into cheers and applause, confetti falls from the sky, and the Judge walks up to her, and gives her the first place award.
A historian went to a restaurant during Christmas
Once a historian went to a resturant during Christmas and ordered foods. While bringing the foods the spanish waiter lost balance and everything fell to floor.
So the historian said in his mind, " First the fall of Turkey, then breaking-up of China, over-throw of Greece, humiliation of Spain and finally loss of America !"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy's wishes started coming true
There was a boy who was scolded by his teacher everyday and one day he said to himself, "I wish the s**... man gets run over" and sure enough the next day, news come of the death of his former teacher. The next day he was teased by his older sister so he said again, "I wish she breaks her arm" and sure enough her sister falls from the stairs and breaks her arm. One day his dad tells him off for something and he says, "I wish my dad would die." When he wakes up the next day, his dad was still there however his mum was nowhere to be seen. So he asked his dad where was his mother gone and his dad replies, "she has gone to attend the neighbor's f**...."
Simon is in the school play and invites his parents
Now his parents don't think he'll be very good. Halfway through the play a floorboard breaks underneath Simon and he falls through. 'Dont worry' Simon's dad whispers to his wife 'It's just a stage he's going through!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys in a helicopter are crossing a mountain range when the rotor breaks and the chopper is going to c**....
As they are falling to their certain death, the pilot calmly reaches to his pocket and pulls out a bright red lipstick. He puts lipstick on, then tears the steering wheel out of the dashboard and shoves it up his a**.... Passenger looks at the pilot in horror and shouts "what the h**... are you doing, we are going to die!" Pilot quietly answers "there's nothing we can do, I'm just giving the c**... investigators something to think about."
Growing Up
My son, Bob, was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the February break.
When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5 feet, 11 inches. My son was as surprised as I. "Couldn't you tell by your clothes that you'd grown?" I asked him.
"Since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied, "I just figured everything had shrunk."