Faith Jokes
128 faith jokes and hilarious faith puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about faith that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Need a laugh? Check out this collection of jokes about faith and religion! From leap of faith to trust and convert, you're sure to find a joke to make you smile. Enjoy this fun assortment of quips about having faith, blind faith, faith healers, and more!
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Funniest Faith Short Jokes
Short faith jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The faith humour may include short confidence jokes also.
- I was recently asked if I believed faith could move mountains. Apparently "No, but I've seen what it can do to buildings," is the wrong answer.
- I never believed that faith could move mountains But I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers
- Faith vs science I'm not convinced that faith can move mountains, but I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers.
- Mike Tyson said he was going to convert me to atheism At least I'm pretty sure that's what he meant by "I'm gonna break your faith!"
- I'm not convinced faith can move mountains, but I know what it can do to skyscrapers. (Come on, it's been 15 years.)
- "Science gives us airplanes and skyscrapers..." "but it's faith that brings them together."
- Went to see the worst faith healer ever last night... He was so bad, a man in a wheelchair got up and walked out.
- I was kicked out of my church for suggesting Jesus may have spoke with a lisp It was a real slap in the faith.
- I'm so faithful, I don't even have a girlfriend and I STILL don't sleep with other women!
- I don't like how people love their fandoms more than their god Especially Star Wars fans
I find your lack of faith disturbing
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Faith One Liners
Which faith one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with faith? I can suggest the ones about trust and religious.
- Science builds planes and skyscrapers but faith brings them together.
- I'm not sure faith can move mountains... But we all know what it can do to skyscrapers.
- Mike Tyson is SO religious That he punches people in the faith.
- The pope walks into a synagogue... The rabbi says, "Why the wrong faith?"
- The pope walks into a mosque The imam says "Hey, why the wrong faith?"
- I've found religion after meeting Mike Tyson Dude hit me right in the faith.
- What does a teenager with a lisp and a nun have in common? Faith book
- The pope walks into a Mosque A Muslim looks up and asks
"Why the wrong faith?" - The temple of the giant sea cow has recently been rebuilt Faith in huge manatee restored
- Faith may not be able to move mountains But I've seen the impact it has on buildings.
- A church sign says "Come Honor Faith"... Mike Tyson starts giggling.
- What do you call Kanye after he gave up religion? Ye of little faith!
- Jesus said, " my faith can move mountains" Mohammed said, "my faith can move skyscrapers"
- They say faith can't move mountains But I've seen what it can do to skyskrapers
- What weapon do sisters of the faith use? Nun-chucks!
Have Faith Jokes
Here is a list of funny have faith jokes and even better have faith puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A wife begins to question the faith of her husband. Wife: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
Husband: "You're Both."
Wife: "What do you mean?"
Husband: "You're pretty ugly." - Jesus and Muhammad were having an intense debate about which of their religions is stronger. My faith moved mountains, exclaimed Jesus.
Yes, agreed Muhammad, but mine moved skyscrapers. - The God of Thunder crossed the skies, astride his faithful filly. "I'm Thor!" He cried. His horse replied,
"You forgot your thaddle, thilly!" - Bill Clinton voted for Hillary Clinton in the electoral college today. First known instance of him being faithful.
- Ever want to find out who is more faithful.... your wife or your dog? lock both in the trunk of your car for 6 hours and watch who is happier to see you when you let them out.
- The Pope-mobile Because nothing says "faith in God" more than 4 inches of bullet-proof glass...
- By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.
- If a person does exceedingly well in the Catholic faith, they become a saint. But if someone does equally well in the Hindu faith, they become a... Saint Bernard.
- If you rearrange the letters in the words Faith and Religion, you can make "Microwave." No, don't test it or question it, just believe me.
- Why did Rihanna abandon the Catholic faith? She found love in a Popeless place.
Faith Name Jokes
Here is a list of funny faith name jokes and even better faith name puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I once met a member of the Catholic faith who could only face North, East, South and West... His name was Cardinal Directions
- American policemen beaten Chinese tourist after asking him for his name... "I lost faith in humanity", said Fak Yu from the hospital.
- I used to believe in things like faith and destiny... ...then I realized those are just stripper names.
Faith In Humanity Jokes
Here is a list of funny faith in humanity jokes and even better faith in humanity puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The quickest way to lose faith in Humanity Customer service jobs.
- I still have some faith in humanity and I owe it to the kind people who leave free unbrellas at public places on rainy days. Just when you need them the most.
- Youtube Rewind 2018 `YouTube Rewind has joined the server`
`Faith In Humanity has left the server` - I look both ways before crossing a one street. That is how much faith I have left for humanity.
- If everyone was like you the human race would lose faith in the world.
Blind Faith Jokes
Here is a list of funny blind faith jokes and even better blind faith puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How would you call St Paul's religious belief? A blind faith.
Leap Of Faith Jokes
Here is a list of funny leap of faith jokes and even better leap of faith puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A man was about to jump off a cliff... ...and before he jumped he said, "I'm doing this for Jesus Christ!"
I think he took a leap of faith.
Comedy Faith Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about faith you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean believing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make faith pranks.
Three nuns
Sisters Anne, Mary, and Teresa are driving across the country when they are in a car c**... and all die tragically.
In heaven, the three of them are standing in front of the pearly gates and St. Peter is standing before them. He says to them, "Sisters, I understand that you are all women of faith, and I would be more than happy to let you into heaven without hesitation, but as it is the rules, I must ask you each one question that you must answer correctly before I can let you enter"
The nuns all agree and Sister Anne steps forward first.
"Sister Anne, what was the name of the first man?"
She barely misses a beat before announcing happily "Adam!"
*Gong!*
The gates open and she enters.
Sister Mary then steps forward and St. Peter asks her, "Sister Mary, what is the name of the first woman?"
"Eve!"
*Gong!*
The gates open and Sister Mary enters heaven.
St. Peter then addresses Sister Teresa, "Teresa, what is the first thing that Eve said when she saw Adam?"
Sister Teresa thinks for a minute... two minutes... three minutes.. then mutters to herself "That's a hard one..."
*Gong!*
What do Bill Gates and the Pope have in common?
They've both put their faith in the cloud.
A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son turned out.
A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it.
"I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he told me last week that he has decided to be a Christian. Rabbi, where did I go wrong?"
"Funny you should come to me," said the Rabbi. "Like you, I, too, brought up my boy in the faith, put him though university, cost me a fortune, then one day he came to me and told me he has decided to become a Chrsitian."
"What did you do?" Asked the lawyer.
"I turned to God for the answer," replied the Rabbi.
"And what did he say?"
He said, "Funny you should come to me..."
It was just discovered that islams prophet mohamed was a huge help.
A nomad happened upon mohamed and asked him what he was doing.
The architect of the Islamic faith turned red and said: *"I was just helping this goat through the fence!"*
My Future
I have a lot more trust and faith in my guidance counselor's advice after getting an empty fortune cookie at a chinese restaurant.
THREE RELIGIOUS TRUTHS IN AMERICA, WE CANNOT ESCAPE:
1) Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3) Baptists AND MORMONS do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at h**....
What was the Christian plastic surgeons specialty?
Faith lifts
Faith
God and Jesus are planning the inspiration for the Bible. Jesus asks God, "Dad, shouldn't we say something about not taking these stories literally?" God replies, "Don't worry Jesus, these people aren't that dumb... Have a little faith!"
What is Darth Vader's least favorite band?
Faith No More
People tend to put their faith in a higher power.
But to me that's just a primitive solution.
Darth Vader...
Of all the things that Darth Vader lost when the Death Star blew up, it was the destruction of his George Michael box set that affected him most deeply.
He finds his lack of Faith disturbing.
Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard george michael will only play new songs at his concerts?
He found his lack of Faith disturbing.
Faithfull
After having died, a couple souls flied to the heaven gate, St.Pierre opened the door and informed that for one time of unfaithfulness to each other in their life they will be prod by a needle.
After being prod 5 times, the wife turned to ST.Poerre and asked:
Where is my husband?
He is lying on the sewing-machine table St.Pierre replied.
Science created airplanes and skyscrapers
Faith brought them together
Why is faith greater than science?
Science made buildings and planes but faith brought them together.
A Recent Study Found That...
...Christian women tend to become atheists after marriage. I don't find that surprising. After marriage, a woman does lose faith in a man's ability to come a second time.
I failed stats because i have no faith in myself..
I couldn't find anything more than a 0% confidence interval.
Decided to vote today, so I bought a locket
and put my ballot in it, guess I really put my faith independant
The Lost Bible
One day a devout preacher lost his favorite Bible while he was at a spiritual retreat in the mountains. He was devastated, and began to lose his faith. Three weeks later, a dog walked up to him after church service, carrying the Bible in its mouth. The preacher couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the dog's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the dog. "Your name is written inside the cover."
Jesus and Mohammad are debating religion.
Jesus, with a smug smile, says: "My faith can move the tallest of mountains."
Mohammad confidently replies: "How well does it do with skyscrapers, brotha?"
An angry teenager from a Catholic home began dressing as a monk to mock his parents' faith.
When asked by a friend how her son had been, the boy's mother replied, "Well, he's been-a-d**...-teen lately."
What did Darth Vader say when the Church of Scientology website got hacked?
"I find your hack of faith disturbing."
My girlfriend is like Bigfoot
She hasn't been found yet but I have faith she's still out there.
A co-worker grabs the new guy by the arm...
A co-worker grabs the new guy by the arm and insists that he join everyone for beers.
New guy looks at him, and tells him, my Faith doesn't allow me to drink.
Why the co-worker asks, are you muslim?
No, my wife, Faith, she punches above her weight.
Christian to an Atheist, "If God isn't real, how do you explain walking on water? Can you walk on water like Jesus?"
Atheist : Yes.
Christian : Show me a video of you walking on water.
Atheist : I don't need to. You just need to have faith that I did.
I'm so high on God right now...
I can't feel my faith
Midget priest
The new bishop is visiting local churches to meet the priests and introduce himself.
He walks in to see a midget priest.
Surprised he exclaims "wow you must be the only midget catholic priest in the whole faith, what's that like?"
The midget says "actually we prefer little people"
Bishop replies "Who doesn't"
A priest, a monk, and a Rabbi walk into a barbershop.
A priest walks into a barbershop. After he gets his hair cut, he goes to pay. The barber says "I do not charge men of faith." The next day the priest leaves twelve eggs in front of the barbershop as thanks.
Soon after, a monk walks into the same barbershop and gets his hair cut for free. The monk leaves twelve apples by the door as thanks.
A few days later, a Rabbi walks into the barbershop. He gets his free haircut. The next day the barber comes to work to see twelve Rabbis by the door.
Science gave us plane and skyscrapers
Faith brought them together
There are three truths in religion:
1) Jewish people do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3) Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.
Satan asked to test a person's faith...
God knew a man just right for the Job.
Why is faith a virtue?
Doesn't matter, I have faith that it is.
My New Year's resolution is to have Faith and Hope...
It'll be a great t**....
How much faith does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, faith can only move mountains.
A climber fell off a cliff, and, as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch.
"Help! Is there anybody up there?" he shouted.
A majestic voice boomed through the gorge:
"I will help you, my son, but first you must have faith in me."
"Yes, yes, I trust you!" cried the man.
"Let go of the branch," boomed the voice.
There was a long pause, and the man shouted up again, "Is there anybody else up there?"
A young m**... on his first term in Africa..
..was reading his bible in a clearing when a lion came up and laid down beside him. As he quietly prayed for deliverance, another lion came out of the bush and laid down on his other side. Convinced that this was a test of his faith, he returned to reading his bible. As soon as he did, the two lions pounced on him and devoured him. Moral: Do not try to read between the lions.
Courage, Discipline, Faith. We are the total package.
Join the United States Postal Service.
Faithful dog for sale
Faithful dog for sale read the add, as such John called up the owner for details.
- Hey, I saw your offer for a good natured dog, I have a couple of questions.
- Shoot.
- He good with kids?
- Very. He's kind and gentle and has endless patience.
- yard dog or house dog?
- House trained but loves the yard as well.
- Cool. Last, is he really faithful?
- Oh yeah, very faithful. This is the fifth time I'm selling him.
A quick way to figure out a Jewish person's level of devotion to their faith is made simple by using the PH scale.
Basic or Hasidic
Anyone wanna join my prayer group for woodworkers?
It's called "Oh, Ye of Whittle Faith."
The stripper's parents didn't have faith that their daughter would go on to do something better...
They just didn't believe in destiny.
Reporter 1: The cult members seem totally brainwashed, and still place their blind faith in a false savior offering hollow promises of salvation!
Reporter 2: And that concludes our report from the White House.
After many faithful years as a Christian, John's dedication finally paid off as he found himself the girl of his dreams.
At the wedding he walks over to his best friend for advice.
"Hey man! What is it that I'm supposed to do when I get her all alone after the wedding?"
"Ah, that's simple. You just take your most prized-possession and stick it in where she pees."
"Ah! Thanks dude!"
"No problem!"
Later that night, John took his bowling ball and put it in the toilet.
As a gesture of good faith, Trump and some of his former staff known to be white nationalists are trying to raise money for victims of the Charlottesville march by running in a charity race.
It's a 3K.
A Rastafarian who has spent his whole life helping people and accumulated no possessions is writing his will. His lawyer looks at it and realizes it is nothing more than a lengthy description of his faith. "Are you sure this is all you have for a will?" asks the lawyer.
Ya. This is what I be leavin'.
You donate to God's house as a sign of faith and
you buy insurance as a sign of lack of it.
my friend with a lisp asked about his faith
i told him he was ugly
With money you can buy land; with faith you can move mountains.
With s**... mining you can do both.
A man lost at sea is found on an island 20 years later.
The sailors that find him are surprised to see three large buildings on the island. They ask the man why he built the buildings. "This first building is my house" he says. "I was able to set up a crude aqueduct to create some form of indoor plumbing". The sailors are impressed and ask about the second building. "This second building is my church" he says "I am a Christian and my faith is very important to me". The sailors nod in understanding and ask about the third building. "Oh, that one" the man says. "That's the church I USED to go to".
A man is hanging from a branch
A man is hanging by a branch above a ravine and looks down then back up and says if there is anyone up there tell me what to do, give me faith then a voice responds if you have faith then let go so the man looks down then back up and says is there anyone else up there
A gospel choir leader with a lisp embezzled tens of thousands of dollars from his church.
But eventually he got caught and had to faith the music.
At the u**...
Two man, p**... side by side.
"Sorry sir, do you happen to be of the Jewish faith?"
"Erh... yes I am."
"You are from Krakow?"
"Yes."
"And did you always go to the small synagogue in the Lipowitz Street?"
"Yes, do we know each other?"
"I don't think so. But you were born between 1970 and 1980?"
"Yes, could you finally tell me where we met?"
"We have not met, sir. But in the small synagogue in the Lipowitz Street in Krakow, Rabbi Goldberg war responsible for the bris in between 1970 and 1980. And the good Rabbi never managed to make a clean cut. And you're p**... on my shoes".
Darth Vader walks into a record store
Darth Vader walks into a record store and asks if they have a copy of George Michael's first studio album. The clerk says they are sold out, to which Vader responds - I find your lack of Faith disturbing!
