Fairy Tale Jokes

"Mommy," Little Johnny asked, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'?"
"No, dear," she replied. "Sometimes they start with 'Darling, I'll be working late at the office tonight...'"

Little Johnny asks his mum, "Mum, do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time in a faraway land'?" 
"No darling," says his mother, somewhat distressed, "Sometimes, they can begin with 'I've got too much work in the office tonight, I'll come home later'."

A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog.

The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want."
The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you."
He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened.
And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."

A little girl asked her father...

A little girl asked her father, Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with `Once Upon A Time`?
He replied, No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with `If elected I promise`.

Fairy tales

A father is tucking in his son at night. His son asks him if he can tell him a fairy tale.
"Of course," the father replies. He begins telling a story, "Once upon a time..."
The son interrupts him, asking "Do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time?"
The father says, "No, son. In fact, most fairy tales begin with the words, 'When I'm elected...'"

My marriage is pretty much like a fairy tale.

Every time i try to tell my wife she's a princess she either falls asleep, runs away, or asks me to prove it.
and since i don't have a magic carpet or poison apple it's kind of hard...

Q: What do you call it when an honest politician rides a unicorn to victory in the Kentucky Derby? A: A Fairy Tale, there is no such thing as an honest politician

One day a handsome young man proposes to his girlfriend, but she says no.

And the man lives happily ever after!

Which fairy tale character would be most likely to be shot by the police?

An un-armed gingerbread man

Fairy tales

My granddaughter asked me, "Do all fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time?
I said, no, some begin with "If elected, I promise to……………………"

Man in the book store

a man enters a bookstore and asks: do you have a book called " men- king of the house"
gets a reply: No, we don't sell fairy tales here.

Do all Fairy Tales begin with ''Once Upon a Time''?

No........
The Best begin with ''If Am Elected''

World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "No!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motocycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank.
The End

A Fairy Tale

After his daughter is cursed by the dark fairy, Maleficent, King Stefan summons his royal carpenters and commands them to make the finest, most comfortable bed in all the land.
"It will be done, Your Majesty," replies the master builder. "Does His Majesty prefer a queen or a king?"
"A king, since you asked," whispers Stefan, "…but don't tell that to the queen!"

Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with 'once upon a time'?

No, there are a whole series of fairy tales that begin with 'If elected, I promise...'

"Religion is a fairy tale," one man said.

"That's harsh," I replied. "Fairy tales aren't a cause of war."

A young man is walking through the woods. Suddenly a grandmother comes out of the forest.

\- My dear, I'm enchanted princess, if you sleep with me, I will turn into a beautiful girl and execute your three wishes.
The young man, of course, is disgusted, but still three wishes ... He agrees, has s**... with his grandmother and says "come on, turn to a princess, here are my wishes..."
\- Wow, boy, you are so big and still believe in fairy tales

What is the difference between a capitalist fairy tale and a Marxist fairy tale?

A capitalist fairy tale begins with Once upon a time, there was.....
A Marxist fairy tale begins with Someday, there will be...

What's the difference between a fairy tale and a r**... tale?

Fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time...", while r**... tales begin with "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**......"

First Time

**My new girlfriend says that our first s**... experience should feel like a fairy tale.**
**I'm looking for 7 midgets to join us this evening. No weirdos please.**

What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?

A northern fairy tale begins, Once upon a time, …
A southern fairy tale begins, Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit…!