faints Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious faints puns

A man walks into the bar...

The bartender: "Hi Dave!"

The boss faints.

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Best Joke in the history of jokes, maybe ever

2 guys are hunting in the woods. The first guy faints and stops breathing. The second guy calls 911 and they say "911, what's your emergency?".

The guy says "My friend and I were hunting in the woods and he fainted. I think he's dead."

The 911 operator responds "First make sure that he is dead before anything"

A loud shot is heard. The guy then says "Ok, what do I do next"

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A small white guy goes into an elevator...

A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: 7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown

The small white guy faints!!

The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy. What's wrong?

The small white guy says; Excuse me but what did you say?

The big black dude looks down and says 7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown.

The small white guy says, Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around.'

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Turner Brown

A skinny little white guy gets off work and walks into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 15 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The little guy faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me? "

The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.

I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 15 inch penis, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "oh thank God, I thought you said turn around."

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A newlywed couple decide to go on a honeymoon...

... To Florida. The husband gets there before his wife does and decides to send her an email. He finishes unpacking and types it out, but when he sends it, he misstypes the adress and accidentally sends it to an old lady whose husband had recently died. The old lady reads the message and faints. It said:
"Dear honey,
I have arrived at our destination. I have unpacked and everything is ready for your arrival. I miss you and expect to see you soon!
Love,
Husband

P.S. Sure is hot down here!

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A man with 3 balls

A man with 3 balls visits a doctor to talk about his situation. But when the time comes, he is embarassed to talk about it. So he says, "Hey doctor. Between the 2 of us, there are five testicles in the room." Hearing this the doctor faints out of shock.
When he comes to his senses the man asked " What happened doctor? Are you alright?"
The doctor replies, "Yes. I was just surprised how you survived this long with just one testicle."

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The Name is Turner Brown

huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says, 7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown. The small guy faints.

The big dude picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small guy, What's wrong with you?

The small guy says, Excuse me, but what did you say?

The big dude looks down and says, 7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.

The small guy says, Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn around'.

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Doctors at a funeral

Dr. Ray recently died and his brothers, Dick and Max, also doctors, are at his funeral. Since Ray is a cardiologist, his coffin is enclosed in a big heart shaped tomb. Dick starts laughing, and Max says, "Why are you laughing, our brother died!" Dick says, "Well, as you know, I'm a gynecologist, and I'm thinking about what my tomb might be shaped like when I die." Max, who is a proctologist, suddenly faints.

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Meeting the Irish Mother

A young Irish lad takes the girl he loves to meet his family.

The matriarch of the family asks the girlfriend, "So, tell me, lass, what is your occupation?"

The girl hesitantly says, "Well, Mrs. O'Malley, I'm a prostitute."

Immediately, the lad's mother faints. After regaining consciousness, she asks again, "Forgive me, dearie. I don't think I heard you correctly. What is your occupation?"

Again the girl says, "Mrs. O'Malley, I'm a prostitute."

The mother laughs, "Oh my, dearie, for a moment there I thought you said you were a Protestant!"

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Skinny Irishman

Skinny little white Irishman goes into an elevator, looks up and sees
this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him, he looks down and
says: 7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles,
Turner Brown.'
The little white Irishman faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down, shakes him, and brings him to.
The big guy says, 'What's wrong with you?'
In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'
The big dude says, 'I saw your curious look and I figured I'd just give
you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.... I'm 7
feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles
weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.'
The little white Irishman says: 'Turner Brown'?!.... Sweet Jesus, I
thought you said, "Turn around"!

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The entrance exam for medical college had just one question

if a young woman faints ,the first thing you need to do is to feel her PU_S_ .










Those who answered PULSE , passed and the rest are reading this joke

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A father is waiting for his newborn child outside a hospital

A doctor comes out holding the child by the leg, and walks over to the man. The father asks: "Is it a girl or a boy?". But the doctor smashes the baby on the concrete wall, and the father faints. The father wakes up on a hospital bed in a room, and the doctor is staring at him with a grin. The doctor says: "Alright alright i was joking, the baby was dead before it was even born".

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A young Irish man is going out with a woman.

He decides to introduce her to his parents over dinner. At their house, the boy's mother asks the girl what she does for a living. The girl hesitates. "I'm a prostitute," she eventually says. Suddenly the mother lets a scream out of her, and faints. After she regains consciousness and comes to her senses, she says to the girl, "I'm sorry, my dear, did you just say that you were a prostitute?"
"Yes," the girl says.
"Oh, thank God," says the mother. "For a minute there I thought you said you were Protestant!"

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What happens when a tomato faints?

It becomes tomatose.

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A Chicago Bears' fan, a Minnesota Viking's fan, and a Detroit Lions' fan find a genie in a bar...

The 3 fans are sitting at the bar when suddenly, a genie comes out of a bottle of vodka the bartender opens.
[](/sp)
The genie says to the bartender: "Congratulations, you have released me from my prison, and to repay you for that, I shall allow you to make 3 wishes your heart most desires and make them come true." The bartender faints from the sheer sight of a real genie in his bar.
[](/sp)
Seeing this, the genie says: "Well, it looks like he's not waking up. You three gentlemen are the only here, so you'll have to split the wishes to 1 each. What do your hearts most desire?"
[](/sp)
The Chicago Bears' fan says: "I want all Minnesota Vikings' fans were shot and thrown out of a bridge."
[](/sp)
The Minnesota Vikings' fan says: "Oh yeah, well I want all Chicago Bears' fans were lynched and choked to death."
[](/sp)
They kept battling each other, throwing one insult after another. Meanwhile, the genie turned to the Detroit Lions' fan and asks the same question: "What do you wish for ?"
[](/sp)
The 3rd fan says: "Me? I want a cup of coffee."

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Two men walks into the bar

Two men walks into the bar

Bartender: Hi Dave!

The boss faints.

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An Italian soccer player walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar. He says: *Ouch* .
An Italian soccer player walks into a bar. He **SCREAMS IN PAIN, CLUTCHING HIMSELF IN AGONY YELLS AT PEOPLE NEARBY AT RANDOM TO CALL THE POLICE, CONTINUES SCREAMING FOR MINUTES ON END, UNTIL HE FINALLY FAINTS VIOLENTLY.**

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Question in Med school exam - Answer the following Question. When a young girl faints, you immediately touch and check her p - - s -

Only the people who answered

P U L S E,

passed the exam

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A horse walks into a bar...

"I'd like a beer please." The horse says.

The bartender faints in shock

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A duck waddles into a lake...

The geese say 'Hi Dave!'
The boss faints.

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What are the most funny Faints jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Faints? Well, here are the best Faints dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Faints pick up lines to share with friends.

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