JokoJokes

Fails Jokes

71 fails jokes and hilarious fails puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fails that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Fails Short Jokes

Short fails jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fails humour may include short failed jokes also.

  1. I signed up for Binary 101, but failed it miserably. I had no idea it was a Level 5 course.
  2. Why do January 6 deniers never last very long in Dungeons & dragon campaigns? They always fail their Constitution checks.
  3. I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting between two identical twins. It was impossible to differentiate between them.
  4. My mate phoned me and asked what I was doing. "Probably failing my driving test," I replied.
  5. McDonald's tried to create a beef version of the McRib, but failed. Hopefully, they learned from their McSteaks.
  6. TIL Steve Irwin had a failed "Crocodile Hunter" sunscreen brand. Apparently it didn't protect you from harmful rays
  7. I failed my chemistry lab exam. I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.
  8. Two chemists walk into a bar. Chemist 1: I'll have H20 please
    Chemist 2: I'Il have water also
    Chemist 1 walks away frustrated as his assassination attempt failed
  9. A failed rapper, a failed rock star, and a mediocre country singer walk into a bar He tells the bartender "anything but Budweiser."
  10. I started carrying a knife after a failed mugging attempt last year... All my attempts have been pretty successful this year.

Share These Fails Jokes With Friends




Fails One Liners

Which fails one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fails? I can suggest the ones about success and fault.

  1. We should've known communism would fail. There were a lot of red flag.
  2. It's very rare that a defibrillator fails. But when it happens no one is shocked.
  3. If I got 50¢ for every math test I've failed I would have $7.20 by now
  4. Trump has done in 4 years what 80% of presidents fail to do in 8 years Lose an election.
  5. What did chuck norris do when his parachute failed to open? Brought it back for a refund.
  6. Why did the feminist fail algebra? She couldn't solve inequalities
  7. If i got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I'd have $ 6.30 now
  8. My friend text me 'what are you doing now?' I replied 'Probably failing my driving test'.
  9. I think I'm failing my marine biology class My grade is below C level.
  10. In my 4th grade class the cutest girl threw away my love letter.. ..so I failed her!
  11. I come from a family of failed magicians I have 2 half sisters
  12. If I had $5 for every time I failed a math test I would have $37
  13. My friend failed his Aboriginal Music class... I asked him "Did'ja redo it?"
  14. Why did the Atheist fail algebra? He didn't believe in higher powers.
  15. I failed my Greek Mythology exam. It has always been my Achilles' elbow

Fails joke, I failed my Greek Mythology exam.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about fails can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of fails puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Gather Around for Fun Fails Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about fails you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean tests jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make fails prank.

A French, a German and a Spaniard are trying to shoot three targets at 50 meters

The French goes first and gets it in one shot
The German goes next and also hits the target with his first shot.
Turn now for the Spaniard, who fails. The other two men are very surprised.
After all, nobody expects the Spanish imprecision.

What happens when a political party filled with loyal members builds its entire platform on being unwilling to cooperate with the opposing party in a system based on compromise between parties that share power?

Your government fails.
wait... sorry I wrote this joke last year, I guess its not that funny anymore.

Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev and Gorbachev are sitting together on a train...

The train breaks down. Lenin tries to rally the workers to work together and get the train running again. When that fails, Stalin lines up all the workers and shoots them. When that doesn't help, Khrushchev tries to reform the workers back to life. When that also fails, Brezhnev pulls down all the curtains in the rail car and says "let's just pretend the train is moving."
After sitting in the dark for a while, Gorbachev breaks the silence and says "Hey, any of you guys wanna pick up some McDonalds?"

Fast Thinker

Guy's first time parachuting... yada yada c**... fails, reserve fails. He's falling. But he sees a speck coming up toward him, faster than he's falling. He realizes it's a guy and figuring he has nothing to lose, he yells,
"Hey do you know anything about parachutes?"
and as they pass the other guy yells back,
"Sorry man, I don't . Do you know anything about propane BBQs?"

UN Food Survey Fails...

UN Phone Survey

Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a complete failure because:

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

Best Ultimate Fails and Funny Compilation March 2015 part 1

Jesus Never Fails

If Jesus was a program, he would never fail.
Why?
Because he was born in a stable environment.

My blonde gf thinks...

My blonde gf thinks that USB is a back up plan just in case USA fails.

My physics professor fails any student turning in a report without a blue coversheet

After working on my report all night, I accidentally used a white coversheet in a sleepless stupor. When I got to class the next morning, I panicked and threw the report at him at close to the speed of light!
I got a B+

Your mom fails so hard at life...[n**...]

I gave her a D out of sympathy.

Epic skateboarding fails 2015

Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.

Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

They should call the "Emergency Brake" the "All-h**... Brake"

Because if it fails on a step hill, then "All-h**... brake's loose."

What's the difference between a c**... and a parachute?

Well when c**... fails a life comes, when parachute fails a life goes.

"Sorry someone hacked my Facebook"

The best comeback when coming out fails.

I`m not getting any younger so.....

I decided to get in shape by going to the local gym. I said to the trainer "Which machine should I use for best results in attracting women." He said "There`s one outside never fails, it`s called an ATM."

A man walks into the bar

But fails since he was too busy drinking through law school

A man walks into a bar....

...and spectacularly fails at Limbo.

When all else fails...

...make All Else 2.

What happens when USA fails?

USB

Chuck Norris once went inside /dev/null, guess what?

He never came out..
Sorry, Linux fails not.

What does a samurai do when he fails a math class?

He commits Sudoku.

We can learn so much from Internet explorer.

Even if it's clicked on by accident still it never fails to aspire to be the default browser.

Two chemists walk into a bar...

The first chemist says "I'll have some H20"
The second chemist says, "I'll have some H20 as well."
The first chemist kicks himself as his assassination attempt fails.

If a parachute fails while skydiving, don't worry!

You have plenty of time. You have the rest of your entire life to fix it!

Catholics fail trigonometry because they're afraid of sin

Irish people fail trigonometry because they can't tan.
Everyone else fails trigonometry just cos.

If someone fails at performing the Heimlich

Is it safe to say they choked?

TIL if one of the engines on a plane fails, the remaining engine can still get the plane to the ground.

Even faster, in fact.

A Mobster's son fails his exam

Mobster asks him what happened. "They questioned me for three hours," says the kid, "but I told them nothing."

If someone fails while attempting the Heimlich maneuver...

...is it fair to say he choked?

Engineering Joke: What do you call a musical artist who screws up and fails due to stress?

Thread Shearin'

Le'veon Bell is a famous football player,

However his fame fails in comparison to his older brother, Taco.

what do you call a substance which fails to reduce friction

lubrican't

45000 feet above the Atlantic, the aircraft engine fails

And the captain declares an emergency. Everyone aboard the plane was scared shitless. A passenger sitting next to the pastor loses it and screams, 'Don't just sit there, do something religious!'.
The pastor promptly took up a collection.....

If you're ever skydiving and your parachute fails to open don't panic

You will have the rest of your life to try and fix it

A dad takes his special needs son to soccer tryouts.

After his son fails at shooting, passing and set pieces, the coach approaches the father and says, "are you sure your son is cut out for this?"
The father replies, "you haven't seen his best attribute yet."
"What's that?"
"Dribbling."

Why the png can't get a decent job?

Because he fails the background check.

What's something that can stop water but never fails to make someone wet?

A k**....

How to survive a Canadian goose attack.

1. Try reasoning with the goose.
2. Contact the parents of the goose.
3. And if all else fails, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

What does Batman say when he fails his mission?

Gotham it.

A priest, a fisherman, and an engineer were sentenced to death by guillotine.

The executioner told the priest he could say/do one more thing before he was executed. So the priest prays to God to spare his life. So as the priest was being executed, the guillotine got stuck. Now according to the law, if the guillotine fails to kill the person, they are set free.So, the priest was let go.
Next up was the fisherman. Seeing what had happened with the priest, he also prayed to God to have his life spared. Once again, the guillotine failed, and the fisherman was let go.
Finally came the engineer. He spends his last moments looking at the guillotine. Oh, I see the problem...

Nation's attempt to impound water fails as barrier breaks loose

Citizens: Dam!

A man goes to buy a parachute

He asks the cashier,
what happens if the parachute fails to deploy?
The cashier responds: Oh, Just pull the reserve c**..., you will be fine.
The man asks again: What if the reserve c**... fails???
The cashier responds: Well, In that case bring it back and we will give you a full refund!

Two guys walk into a Bar.

One fails and the other becomes an ace attorney.

Jesus and Satan are having a contest

They want to see who is the best programmer.
So the first challenge is screens. It's a tie.
Then Assembly. Tie again.
Web Design. Tie again.
Challenge after challenge nobody is winning. So after like five days the power fails. So they wait for it to come back on. Then when the power come back on Jesus is the clear winner.
Because Jesus saves.

An old joke I once heard from a friend, never fails to crack me up

A homeless man finds a shiny lamp by the road while trying to find a place to pass the night.
Picking it up, the man was just about to shove it in his bag when a genie appeared out of it.
"I can grant you one wish." Said the genie.
Not wanting to waste the wish, the man spent much time to think of the best wish.
"I want an apartment, make it a big one and make sure it's in downtown." The man said.
The genie shook his head.
"I can't fulfill that wish."
The man was disappointed. "I thought you were supposed to be able to do anything!"
The genie simply said: "Do you think I would be living in this lamp if I could afford a place of my own?"

If you parachute fails, don't worry

You have the rest of your life to figure it out.

i came up with this one and i think its a little silly. what do you call it when a missile fails to reach it's destination?

projectile dysfunction

Guys, if your marriage fails don't just blame her. It takes 2 people to make a toxic relationship.

Blame her and her mother.

USB is a great backup.

Especially if USA fails

What happens when a computer engineer fails flirting with a waitress?

Error in connecting to the server

I think it's smart for Texans to remove books from libraries...

They're going to need more fuel for the fires after the Power Grid fails again

What gets four As and a B but still fails in schooling?

ALABAMA

My son asked me, "Dad, what does the Z stand for on Russian tanks?"

"Well son", I said, "You've heard of Plan A and when that fails, you go to a Plan B?"
"They're on Plan Z already."

If something doesn't exist, it isn't. if someone fails to do something, they didn't. if liquor isnt the solution to anything, what does that make it?

A solven't.

Fails joke, If something doesn't exist, it isn't. if someone fails to do something, they didn't. if liquor isnt

jokes about fails

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these fails jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.