Fail Jokes
138 fail jokes and hilarious fail puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fail that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the best fail jokes. Whether it's that never-fail exam or a diet that flunks out, these jokes will have you complying with laughter. Be sure to check out the epic fails of technology and the postulated driving test!
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Funniest Fail Short Jokes
Short fail jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fail humour may include short fault jokes also.
- I signed up for Binary 101, but failed it miserably. I had no idea it was a Level 5 course.
- Why do January 6 deniers never last very long in Dungeons & dragon campaigns? They always fail their Constitution checks.
- I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting between two identical twins. It was impossible to differentiate between them.
- McDonald's tried to create a beef version of the McRib, but failed. Hopefully, they learned from their McSteaks.
- TIL Steve Irwin had a failed "Crocodile Hunter" sunscreen brand. Apparently it didn't protect you from harmful rays
- I failed my chemistry lab exam. I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.
- A failed rapper, a failed rock star, and a mediocre country singer walk into a bar He tells the bartender "anything but Budweiser."
- I failed a biology test today, they had asked me what was commonly found in cells Apparently black people was not the answer.
- What do you call a failed abortion? Survival of the fetus
- I have an archaeology exam tomorrow And it doesn't matter if I pass or fail because either way...
My future's in ruins.
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Fail One Liners
Which fail one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fail? I can suggest the ones about attempt and fuse.
- We should've known communism would fail. There were a lot of red flag.
- It's very rare that a defibrillator fails. But when it happens no one is shocked.
- If I got 50¢ for every math test I've failed I would have $7.20 by now
- Trump has done in 4 years what 80% of presidents fail to do in 8 years Lose an election.
- What did chuck norris do when his parachute failed to open? Brought it back for a refund.
- Why did the feminist fail algebra? She couldn't solve inequalities
- My friend text me 'what are you doing now?' I replied 'Probably failing my driving test'.
- I think I'm failing my marine biology class My grade is below C level.
- In my 4th grade class the cutest girl threw away my love letter.. ..so I failed her!
- I come from a family of failed magicians I have 2 half sisters
- My friend failed his Aboriginal Music class... I asked him "Did'ja redo it?"
- Why did the Atheist fail algebra? He didn't believe in higher powers.
- Why did North Korea's missile fail? It had projectile disfunction.
- Why did Chewbacca fail his driving test? He made a few Wookiee errors.
- What did Vizzini say to his wife after failing to have children? INCONCEIVABLE
Exam Fail Jokes
Here is a list of funny exam fail jokes and even better exam fail puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his exams? "Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours,
but I never told them anything!" - Just found out I've failed my German exam. Sacre bleu!
- I just failed my butcher's exam. Mis-steaks were made.
- Why did communism fail the exam? Because it lost Marx.
- I took a prostate exam at home, I think I failed... I lost my pen
- Why did the communist fail his exam? He didn't get full Marx
- Bad news. Just found out that I've failed my English exam That's the 3th time now...
- I passed my Algebra test today but failed my Biology exam. The aftermath was really difficult.
- After failing my first 2 exams, I just got an A on my third Anatomy exam... the answers were inside me the entire time
- I failed a lot of maths exams More than I can count
Never Fail Jokes
Here is a list of funny never fail jokes and even better never fail puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Gravity will never fail you... But it will always let you down.
I'll see myself out... - Why did Dracula always fail job interviews? He could never answer, "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
- When the magician failed at his trick, he could feel everyone's eyes on him. He never felt so embarassed. He just wanted to disappear.
- A failed knock knock joke My friend: Knock knock.
Me: ...
My friend: Oh, come on! Just play along.
Me: I'm Deaf. I never heard the knock…
*Source*: I'm Deaf myself. - I failed algebra class when I was in school... I never knew Y.
- I just failed my third drug test this month At this rate, I'll never become a pharmacist.
- The Soviet Union never failed... ...it was so successful that they decided that they no longer needed each other
- My sister failed high school and has never been in a relationship I told her "If you tried harder, you could have gotten a D"
- Jesus Never Fails If Jesus was a program, he would never fail.
Why?
Because he was born in a stable environment. - Dad-Son Dad: There's this test we need to go for.
Son: You never told me earlier! I'm going to fail now.
Dad: It's a DNA test. You have to pass.
Driving Test Fail Jokes
Here is a list of funny driving test fail jokes and even better driving test fail puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was surprised to learn my kid failed the road driving test... ...she Tweeted three times that it seem to be going well.
- my mate rang me earlier.... My mate rang me earlier and says "Hey dude, what you up to?" "Probably failing my driving test" I say
- My friend told me he'd failed his driving test for running over a rabbit I said they couldn't fail you for that, he said they can when it's in the butcher's window.
- Driving I failed my driver's test today. The instructor asked me "What do you do at a red light?" I said "I usually check my emails and see what people are up to on Facebook."
- Why did Walter White fail his driving test? Because he was braking bad.
- Driving test (Blonde) Why did the blonde keep failing her driving test?
Every time the instructor said "let's start" she would jump to the backseat ...
....
.... - Paul Pierce failed his driving test because of poor turns Apparently, the Truth can't handle the U
- Why did North Korea fail its driving test? He has no concept of rights
- Why did the Irishman fail his driving test? They asked him what the solid yellow line means, and he got out of the car and tried to walk a straight line.
- Why did the dog fail his driving test? Because he's a dog. Dogs cannot drive.
Message Fail Jokes
Here is a list of funny message fail jokes and even better message fail puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What message did the cyborg see upon his failed attempt to flirt with the waitress? Error! Unable to establish a connection with server.
- A robot tried to start a conversation with an attractive waitress But he wasn't so successful in doing so. The error message read:
`Error: failed to establish connection with server. `
Howlingly Hilarious Fail Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about fail you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fail pranks.
What does the titanic and the canucks have in common?
They both fail big time when they hit the ice..
After 3 failed marriages, an old woman decides to try an online dating site..
She sets up an account with all her info and says she is looking for "a man who will not beat me, Will not walk all over me, and is great in bed." After 2 weeks no one has replied. Then, one day some one rings the doorbell. The woman gets up and opens the door to see a man with no arms and no legs sitting there. He says "Hello, I'm here about your online dating profile." the woman says to him, "well I want a man who won't beat me.." the man says "I have no arms, therefore I can not beat you." the woman says "well I want a man who won't walk all over me." the man replies "I have no legs, so I can't even walk." the woman says "well, I want a man who's great in bed.." the man replies "hey, I rang the doorbell didn't I?
Why did Steve Irwin fail his computer science class?
String Arrays
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A greedy man, a r**..., and an alcoholic...
A greedy man, a r**..., and an alcoholic meet a genie. The genie says to them, "If you can resist your urges I will grant you each one wish. But should you fail, you will disappear" The three men agreed and tried to go a full day without alcohol, r**..., and theft. The alcoholic's wife leaves him so he takes a drink, then he disappears. Later the greedy man is on the bus and a lady drops a dollar. The man bends down to keep it, and the r**... disappears.
Why is North Korea going fail against America?
They lack the element of supplies
After failing miserably at a standup routine I told my girlfriend I was going to try physical comedy. She said...
"You can't pull your pants down in public."
I failed my Japanese final
My only option at this point is to commit sudoku...
Why did the mule fail his math test?
He was half-assing it
A man goes to a store to buy groceries.
When he gets to the Butchery, he asks for three steaks.
The butcher asks if he'd like to play a game, after which the man replies that he would.
The butcher climbs a ladder up to the ceiling, easily 9 or 10 feet, and hangs them on hooks up there.
When he climbs down, the butcher says "If you can jump up and get all of your steaks in 3 tries, all of your groceries are free."
The man asks, "What's the catch?"
The butcher replies, "If you fail to get the steaks in three tries, you have to pay for your groceries and those of the man behind you in line."
After some consideration, the man replies "No."
The butcher asks, "Why not?"
The man simply replies "The stakes are too high."
Why did Henry VIII fail his classes?
Because he lost all his Tudors.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Best pickup line that should not fail.
Guy: Wanna have great s**....
Girl: No.
Guy: Great, let's go then.
Why did Johnny fail his programming class?
His mom kept telling him to do his homework, "No ifs, ands, or buts!"
Why did the dyslexic engineer fail college?
Because he didn't understand psychics.
why did the orange fail school?
It couldn't concentrate.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do failing college girls always screw their professors?
Cause they want the D.
I failed my Health and Safety Test today
apparently when they ask what steps you should take in case of a fire, large ones was not the correct answer
Why did the privileged white guy fail his algebra test?
He didn't know enough about inequalities
I had a teacher that refused to fail anyone...
No "F"s given.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was h**... doomed to fail?
because jew wrongs don't make a riech
Why did the Mexican fail English 101?
He wouldn't turn in his essay
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I failed my biology test today. There was a question that asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"
I guess my teacher didn't think "black people" was a good answer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are so many computer scientists atheists?
Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.
I failed medical school for the same reason I failed English class
Improper: Colon placement
North Korea athletes...
North Korea athletes, who fail to win gold medals in this year's Olympic Games, will have a chance to win gold medals in the next Paralympic Games.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Helen Keller fail her road test?
Because she was a woman
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the Mexican fail English class?
Because he refused to turn in his essays
I think I'm gonna fail my Women in Islam class
The course covers everything
I failed my Biology test yesterday
I was asked to name a parasite currently living in Britain.
Apparently 'Muslims' isn't the correct answer.
I failed my AP Biology test...
They asked; "what is something commonly found in cells?"
Apparently black people wasn't the correct answer
A failed tv presenter, a disgraced newspaper editor and a phone hacker walk into a bar....
..and the barman says "What'll it be, Piers?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I identify as a tri-s**......
I try to have s**..., but I fail.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I am hosting a charity event for people who fail to reach c**... during s**...
If you can't come, let me know
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it.
Those who fail to clear their history are doomed to explain it.
I don't get why record stores fail.
They have record sales every year
Why does the cell always fail at Math?
It performs division for multiplication.
Dinner Date Fail...
Had a date with a beautiful woman last night, but she abruptly stormed off when I informed our server that he had given me her peas.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the k**... fail calculus?
Because they hated integration so much.
I came up with my New Year's resolution. I will be more of an optimist
But I know that won't happen. Something will go wrong, and I'll fail.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Women say all men are dogs
but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.
A failed hurdle jumper walks into a bar...
Get it ?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did h**... fail his drivers ed?
He used his turn signals on the two left turns but failed at the 3rd r**...
Germany's failure in the World Cup wasn't that surprising
They have always struggled to progress in Russia.
Obscure jokes are like ultra early archer rushes against diety AI in Civ III
They usually fail miserably.
Why did the T-Rex family business fail?
They couldn't keep up with the orders... They were always short handed!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do all german exchange students fail math?
Because nobody wants to see their final solution.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do colourblind people s**... at dating?
Because they fail to see the red flags in a relationship
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did h**... fail as an artist?
He refused to mix colors.
I always fail my trigonometry test
That's because I don't understand sine language
A man walks into a bar and sees 2 steaks hanging from the ceiling.
He sits down and orders a beer, and asks the bartender
"what's the deal with the steaks?"
"It's a competition. If you can jump up and slap both steaks at the same time, one with each hand, you win the bar. If you try and fail, though, you pay for everyone's drinks for the rest of the night"
The man sits and thinks it over, and a couple minutes later the bartender asks if he wants to have a go.
"Nah, the steaks are too high"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Teacher to student: I'm sorry Steve but i have to fail you on your french, you are just terrible...
Teacher:what do you have to say for yourself?
Student : Gracias
A truck carrying cows and a truck carrying cannabis get into a car accident.
Neither party can agree on who's fault the accident was, so they hire a detective. This is the detective's first day on the job and his boss tells him, If you can solve this case you get a promotion, however if you fail you will be fired. The steaks are high.
I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled out
I'm going to fail so many perception checks without them :(
I've already failed No Nut November
I failed the first time at 1:37am, and the second time at 1:11am.
A man spends his days studying archeology at university, and his nights dreaming of someday finding a girlfriend.
No matter how hard he tried, he could never master the techniques of dating.
Eventually, his professors had to fail him.
Why did Anakin Skywalker fail as a lawyer?
His arguments didn't have a leg to stand on.
A father, finally exasperated looking at his son's failed test scores, shouted: " Son, if you fail your exams one more time today, don't you EVER call me your father again!!"
"Yes, father.", the son replied meekly.
After the exams, the son came home.
"How were the exams, son? Do you think you managed to pass this time?"
"NO PROBLEMO, DUDE!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Failed DIY project
I thought it would be cool to tar up my driveway, but it ended up looking hideous. Can't even blame anyone, it's my own s**... asphalt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the hot dog vendor fail s**...-ed?
He didn't know what condiment.
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:
"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy are crossing the Atlantic on an airplane when the engines fail.
They find three parachutes.
Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, The world needs a great person like me!
Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, I need to help make choices for our world , so he jumps off the plane.
At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane.
The Pope says to the boy, take the last parachute, I am too old and I'm going to die soon one day.
Actually there are two left. Donald Trump took my backpack.
What gets four As and a B but still fails in schooling?
ALABAMA
Pete and Repeat walk across a bridge. Pete falls off, who's left?
Admittedly it works better verbally, but my dad always liked to get me with this one. Without fail it would always send 5yr old me into fits of giggles and rage.
I failed as a farmer. I think I could be a musician.
Look at all my sick beets.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Russian, and a Ukrainian are on a a plan when the plane's engines fail and it starts to go down.
The pilot grabs one of the parachutes and jumps from the plane. The remaining passengers see that there is only one c**... left, and quickly do the math.
The Englishman stands up, straightens his tie, says "God save the Queen!" and jumps from the plane.
The Frenchman, not wanting to be seen as less noble than the Englishman, says "Vive la France!" and jumps to his death.
The Ukrainian stands up, straightens his vyshyvanka, says "Slava Ukraini!" and throws the Russian out.
geography test
What is the capital of Austria?
\- Berlin
What is the capital of France?
\- Berlin
What is the capital of Poland?
\- Berlin
All wrong. Adolf, you're gonna fail the test
\- We shall see
