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Fail Jokes

139 fail jokes and hilarious fail puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fail that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the best fail jokes. Whether it's that never-fail exam or a diet that flunks out, these jokes will have you complying with laughter. Be sure to check out the epic fails of technology and the postulated driving test!

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Funniest Fail Short Jokes

Short fail jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fail humour may include short fault jokes also.

  1. I signed up for Binary 101, but failed it miserably. I had no idea it was a Level 5 course.
  2. Why do January 6 deniers never last very long in Dungeons & dragon campaigns? They always fail their Constitution checks.
  3. I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting between two identical twins. It was impossible to differentiate between them.
  4. My mate phoned me and asked what I was doing. "Probably failing my driving test," I replied.
  5. McDonald's tried to create a beef version of the McRib, but failed. Hopefully, they learned from their McSteaks.
  6. TIL Steve Irwin had a failed "Crocodile Hunter" sunscreen brand. Apparently it didn't protect you from harmful rays
  7. I failed my chemistry lab exam. I was in the middle of performing a chemical reaction but I got sued by the Fine Bros.
  8. Two chemists walk into a bar. Chemist 1: I'll have H20 please
    Chemist 2: I'Il have water also
    Chemist 1 walks away frustrated as his assassination attempt failed
  9. A failed rapper, a failed rock star, and a mediocre country singer walk into a bar He tells the bartender "anything but Budweiser."
  10. I started carrying a knife after a failed mugging attempt last year... All my attempts have been pretty successful this year.

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Fail One Liners

Which fail one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fail? I can suggest the ones about attempt and fuse.

  1. We should've known communism would fail. There were a lot of red flag.
  2. It's very rare that a defibrillator fails. But when it happens no one is shocked.
  3. If I got 50¢ for every math test I've failed I would have $7.20 by now
  4. Trump has done in 4 years what 80% of presidents fail to do in 8 years Lose an election.
  5. What did chuck norris do when his parachute failed to open? Brought it back for a refund.
  6. Why did the feminist fail algebra? She couldn't solve inequalities
  7. If i got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I'd have $ 6.30 now
  8. My friend text me 'what are you doing now?' I replied 'Probably failing my driving test'.
  9. I think I'm failing my marine biology class My grade is below C level.
  10. In my 4th grade class the cutest girl threw away my love letter.. ..so I failed her!
  11. I come from a family of failed magicians I have 2 half sisters
  12. If I had $5 for every time I failed a math test I would have $37
  13. My friend failed his Aboriginal Music class... I asked him "Did'ja redo it?"
  14. Why did the Atheist fail algebra? He didn't believe in higher powers.
  15. I failed my Greek Mythology exam. It has always been my Achilles' elbow

Exam Fail Jokes

Here is a list of funny exam fail jokes and even better exam fail puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • There is a good chance you'll fail your calculus exam if you are sitting between identical twins. Because it's hard to differentiate between them.
  • I failed my calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins. I couldn't differentiate between them.
  • I have an archaeology exam tomorrow And it doesn't matter if I pass or fail because either way...
    My future's in ruins.
  • If I had 50 cents for every math exam I failed in college... I would be up to about $6.30 now.
  • I signed up for Binary 101 this semester and I'm failing in all the exams. Turns out it is a level 5 course.
  • What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his exams? "Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours,
    but I never told them anything!"
  • Just found out I've failed my German exam. Sacre bleu!
  • If I had 50p every time I failed a maths exam I would have £3.57 right now
  • My friend told me he failed his authentic Australian music exam. I asked "didja redo it"?
  • I just failed my butcher's exam. Mis-steaks were made.

Never Fail Jokes

Here is a list of funny never fail jokes and even better never fail puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Take it or leave it Medusa never failed making a man hard.
  • Gravity will never fail you... But it will always let you down.

    I'll see myself out...
  • Why did Dracula always fail job interviews? He could never answer, "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
  • When the magician failed at his trick, he could feel everyone's eyes on him. He never felt so embarassed. He just wanted to disappear.
  • I never told them anything. Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad
    when he failed his examination?
    A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours
    but I never told them anything.
  • A failed knock knock joke My friend: Knock knock.
    Me: ...
    My friend: Oh, come on! Just play along.
    Me: I'm Deaf. I never heard the knock…
    *Source*: I'm Deaf myself.
  • There's one test I will never fail A blood test I always get an A+
  • I failed algebra class when I was in school... I never knew Y.
  • I just failed my third drug test this month At this rate, I'll never become a pharmacist.
  • The Soviet Union never failed... ...it was so successful that they decided that they no longer needed each other
Fail joke, The Soviet Union never failed...

Driving Test Fail Jokes

Here is a list of funny driving test fail jokes and even better driving test fail puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My mate just rang me and said "what are you doing at the moment?" I said, "probably failing my driving test."
  • Why did Chewbacca fail his driving test? He made a few Wookiee errors.
  • I was surprised to learn my kid failed the road driving test... ...she Tweeted three times that it seem to be going well.
  • my mate rang me earlier.... My mate rang me earlier and says "Hey dude, what you up to?" "Probably failing my driving test" I say
  • My friend told me he'd failed his driving test for running over a rabbit I said they couldn't fail you for that, he said they can when it's in the butcher's window.
  • Driving I failed my driver's test today. The instructor asked me "What do you do at a red light?" I said "I usually check my emails and see what people are up to on Facebook."
  • Why did Walter White fail his driving test? Because he was braking bad.
  • Driving test (Blonde) Why did the blonde keep failing her driving test?
    Every time the instructor said "let's start" she would jump to the backseat ...
    ....
    ....
  • Paul Pierce failed his driving test because of poor turns Apparently, the Truth can't handle the U
  • Why did North Korea fail its driving test? He has no concept of rights

Message Fail Jokes

Here is a list of funny message fail jokes and even better message fail puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What message did the cyborg see upon his failed attempt to flirt with the waitress? Error! Unable to establish a connection with server.
  • A robot tried to start a conversation with an attractive waitress But he wasn't so successful in doing so. The error message read:
    `Error: failed to establish connection with server. `
Fail joke, A robot tried to start a conversation with an attractive waitress

Howlingly Hilarious Fail Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about fail you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fail pranks.

After 3 failed marriages, an old woman decides to try an online dating site..

She sets up an account with all her info and says she is looking for "a man who will not beat me, Will not walk all over me, and is great in bed." After 2 weeks no one has replied. Then, one day some one rings the doorbell. The woman gets up and opens the door to see a man with no arms and no legs sitting there. He says "Hello, I'm here about your online dating profile." the woman says to him, "well I want a man who won't beat me.." the man says "I have no arms, therefore I can not beat you." the woman says "well I want a man who won't walk all over me." the man replies "I have no legs, so I can't even walk." the woman says "well, I want a man who's great in bed.." the man replies "hey, I rang the doorbell didn't I?

Why did Steve Irwin fail his computer science class?

String Arrays

A greedy man, a r**..., and an alcoholic...

A greedy man, a r**..., and an alcoholic meet a genie. The genie says to them, "If you can resist your urges I will grant you each one wish. But should you fail, you will disappear" The three men agreed and tried to go a full day without alcohol, r**..., and theft. The alcoholic's wife leaves him so he takes a drink, then he disappears. Later the greedy man is on the bus and a lady drops a dollar. The man bends down to keep it, and the r**... disappears.

Why is North Korea going fail against America?

They lack the element of supplies

Why did the mule fail his math test?

He was half-assing it

A man goes to a store to buy groceries.

When he gets to the Butchery, he asks for three steaks.
The butcher asks if he'd like to play a game, after which the man replies that he would.
The butcher climbs a ladder up to the ceiling, easily 9 or 10 feet, and hangs them on hooks up there.
When he climbs down, the butcher says "If you can jump up and get all of your steaks in 3 tries, all of your groceries are free."
The man asks, "What's the catch?"
The butcher replies, "If you fail to get the steaks in three tries, you have to pay for your groceries and those of the man behind you in line."
After some consideration, the man replies "No."
The butcher asks, "Why not?"
The man simply replies "The stakes are too high."

Why did Henry VIII fail his classes?

Because he lost all his Tudors.

In school, the teacher warns her students...

..."I will not tolerate any excuses for any kind. I might consider a nuclear attack, serious injury or even the death of a relative, but whoever misses this exam will fail the class."
The class's wise-guy says:
"But teacher, what if tomorrow I arrive to class completely exhausted from last night's amazing s**...?"
The teacher says:
"Well I guess you'll have to do the exam with your left hand, then."

We should've known about the failure of communism

In retrospect, there were a lot of red flags...

Best pickup line that should not fail.

Guy: Wanna have great s**....
Girl: No.
Guy: Great, let's go then.

Why did Johnny fail his programming class?

His mom kept telling him to do his homework, "No ifs, ands, or buts!"

Why did the dyslexic engineer fail college?

Because he didn't understand psychics.

Some people think that the next iPhone will fail

But I think it'll be a 6S.

why did the orange fail school?

It couldn't concentrate.

Why do failing college girls always screw their professors?

Cause they want the D.

I failed my Health and Safety Test today

apparently when they ask what steps you should take in case of a fire, large ones was not the correct answer

Why did the l**... fail his driving test?

He left his foot on the clutch.

Why did the privileged white guy fail his algebra test?

He didn't know enough about inequalities

I had a teacher that refused to fail anyone...

No "F"s given.

Why was h**... doomed to fail?

because jew wrongs don't make a riech

Why did the Mexican fail English 101?

He wouldn't turn in his essay

I failed my biology test today.

The question was: "What is commonly found in cells?"
Apparently, "African Americans" wasn't the correct answer.

I failed my biology test today.

Apparently, "black guys" isn't the answer to the question "What is found in cells."

Geography class

-Whats the capital of Germany?
-Berlin teacher
-Whats the capital of France?
-Berlin again teacher
-Whats the capital of Poland?
-Still Berlin teacher
-Adolf! If you keep this up you'll fail geography!
-We'll see about that

I failed my biology test today. There was a question that asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"

I guess my teacher didn't think "black people" was a good answer.

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

I failed medical school for the same reason I failed English class

Improper: Colon placement

North Korea athletes...

North Korea athletes, who fail to win gold medals in this year's Olympic Games, will have a chance to win gold medals in the next Paralympic Games.

Why did Helen Keller fail her road test?

Because she was a woman

I failed my Biology test yesterday

I was asked to name a parasite currently living in Britain.
Apparently 'Muslims' isn't the correct answer.

I failed my AP Biology test...

They asked; "what is something commonly found in cells?"
Apparently black people wasn't the correct answer

A failed tv presenter, a disgraced newspaper editor and a phone hacker walk into a bar....

..and the barman says "What'll it be, Piers?"

I identify as a tri-s**......

I try to have s**..., but I fail.

I am hosting a charity event for people who fail to reach c**... during s**...

If you can't come, let me know

Why did North Korea's missile fail?

It had projectile disfunction.

Why did the restaurant on the moon fail?

The food was decent but it had no atmosphere.

Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it.

Those who fail to clear their history are doomed to explain it.

Why does the cell always fail at Math?

It performs division for multiplication.

I failed a biology test today, they had asked me what was commonly found in cells

Apparently black people was not the answer.

Catholics fail trigonometry because they're afraid of sin

Irish people fail trigonometry because they can't tan.
Everyone else fails trigonometry just cos.

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink.

Then he notices there are pieces of meat nailed to the ceiling of the bar so he asks the barman what they are for. The barman replies, "If you can jump up and pull one of them down you get free beer all night. If you fail, you have to pay the bar £100. Do you want to have a go?"
The man thinks about it for a minute before saying, "Nah, the steaks are too high!"

Why did the k**... fail calculus?

Because they hated integration so much.

I came up with my New Year's resolution. I will be more of an optimist

But I know that won't happen. Something will go wrong, and I'll fail.

Women say all men are dogs

but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.

Why did communism fail the exam?

Because it lost Marx.

Germany's failure in the World Cup wasn't that surprising

They have always struggled to progress in Russia.

It was obvious that Communism would fail.

There were just so many red flags.

Why did the T-Rex family business fail?

They couldn't keep up with the orders... They were always short handed!!

Why do all german exchange students fail math?

Because nobody wants to see their final solution.

Why do colourblind people s**... at dating?

Because they fail to see the red flags in a relationship

Why did h**... fail as an artist?

He refused to mix colors.

A man walks into a bar and sees 2 steaks hanging from the ceiling.

He sits down and orders a beer, and asks the bartender
"what's the deal with the steaks?"
"It's a competition. If you can jump up and slap both steaks at the same time, one with each hand, you win the bar. If you try and fail, though, you pay for everyone's drinks for the rest of the night"
The man sits and thinks it over, and a couple minutes later the bartender asks if he wants to have a go.
"Nah, the steaks are too high"

A truck carrying cows and a truck carrying cannabis get into a car accident.

Neither party can agree on who's fault the accident was, so they hire a detective. This is the detective's first day on the job and his boss tells him, If you can solve this case you get a promotion, however if you fail you will be fired. The steaks are high.

I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled out

I'm going to fail so many perception checks without them :(

A Man Walks Into a Bar...

A man walks into a bar and looks up at the ceiling. He sees 2 steaks stuck to the ceiling and a jar filled with 100 dollar bills to the brim. He asks the bartender what is up with the steaks. The bartender says, "I will pay anyone $1,000 if they can get the steaks down, but if you fail, you have to pay me $200." The man backs away and says, "I can't do it! The steaks are too high!"

A man spends his days studying archeology at university, and his nights dreaming of someday finding a girlfriend.

No matter how hard he tried, he could never master the techniques of dating.
Eventually, his professors had to fail him.

After failing maths, Jared's parents decide to move him from the local public school to a nearby Catholic school

Within a few months, he is passing with flying colours. His parents ask him the reason behind his sudden improvement. "Was it the strict nuns, the rigour of class, the example of other students? Jared shook his head. "Well what was it then"? Jared replied "Truth is, when I first arrived and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business".

A doctor and a lawyer loved the same girl

Everyday the doctor brought her roses, while the lawyer got her an apple, without fail. One day, the girl decides to ask the lawyer why the apples, to which the lawyer replies, an apple a day keeps the doctor away

Why did the hot dog vendor fail s**...-ed?

He didn't know what condiment.

Why did the atheist fail his math class?

He didn't believe in a higher power.

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy are crossing the Atlantic on an airplane when the engines fail.

They find three parachutes.
Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, The world needs a great person like me!
Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, I need to help make choices for our world , so he jumps off the plane. 
At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. 
The Pope says to the boy, take the last parachute, I am too old and I'm going to die soon one day.  
Actually there are two left. Donald Trump took my backpack.

Why did the lifeguard fail to rescue the hippie drowning in the ocean?

Because he was too far out, man.

What gets four As and a B but still fails in schooling?

ALABAMA

Pete and Repeat walk across a bridge. Pete falls off, who's left?

Admittedly it works better verbally, but my dad always liked to get me with this one. Without fail it would always send 5yr old me into fits of giggles and rage.

Why did Spider-Man's evil twin fail his driver's test?

He was a bad parallel Parker.

Why did spiderman's evil twin fail is diver's test

Because he was a bad parallel parker

I failed as a farmer. I think I could be a musician.

Look at all my sick beets.

A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Russian, and a Ukrainian are on a a plan when the plane's engines fail and it starts to go down.

The pilot grabs one of the parachutes and jumps from the plane. The remaining passengers see that there is only one c**... left, and quickly do the math.
The Englishman stands up, straightens his tie, says "God save the Queen!" and jumps from the plane.
The Frenchman, not wanting to be seen as less noble than the Englishman, says "Vive la France!" and jumps to his death.
The Ukrainian stands up, straightens his vyshyvanka, says "Slava Ukraini!" and throws the Russian out.

Fail joke, A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Russian, and a Ukrainian are on a a plan when the plane's engines fail

jokes about fail