Factory Workers Jokes
50 factory workers jokes and hilarious factory workers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about factory workers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Factory Workers Short Jokes
Short factory workers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The factory workers humour may include short office workers jokes also.
- Why did the match factory burn down? Because the workers went on strike
I just thought of this, not sure whether its an original joke - How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a chemical factory worker? Write down the word *'unionized'* and ask them to pronounce it.
- An Apple Factory in China is expected to cut production of iPhones by 18% in response to ongoing worker protests. The workers' main demand is "more playtime".
- Why did workers in the industrial revolution have better sense of smell? It's because of all that time they spent in the ol-factory.
- NOT OC but thought you'd like it. BREAKING NEWS: a match factory is on fire after workers decided to strike.
- Did you hear about the optimistic workers down at the Washing Machine factory? They absolutely hated their jobs but no matter what they always put a good spin on it.
- Why did the socialist kill all the average workers at the factory? He wanted to cease the means of production
- Think about all the underemployed, low-wage workers at those fake butter factories They're so Margarinalized.
- There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
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Factory Workers One Liners
Which factory workers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with factory workers? I can suggest the ones about construction worker and working class.
- Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
- Why do tuna factory workers take vacations? Because they can!
- How many workers does it take to run a burrito factory? Just Juan
- What kind of music does a factory worker listen to? Industrial Metal
- Why'd the factory worker hate their job? Because it was soda pressing.
- How does the worker of the curved edges factory feel about his job? Pointless.
- A worker at a German orange factory got fired.
- Why did Kashi kill one of their factory workers? Because the cereal he made was khashoggi
- How much do deodorant factory workers get paid? A pittance.
Cheeky Factory Workers Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about factory workers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean union worker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make factory workers pranks.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
A doctor complains to his colleagues about the sanitary problems at a latex glove factory in Mexico.
"Workers stick their hands in melted latex and then dip their hands in a vat of cooling water to solidify the latex. The glove is then thrown in a finished products box."
His colleagues are disgusted by the lack of care taken in keeping the gloves sanitary.
"That's not all," says the doctor.
"You don't even want to know how they make their condoms!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why were the workers at the denim factory euthanized?
So they wouldn't spread their defective jeans!
I can't keep a steady job!
I worked in an orange juice factory but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
I worked in the woods as a lumber jack but I just couldn't hack it. They gave me the ax.
I worked as a tailor but I wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
I worked in a muffler factory but it was too exhausting.
I attempted to be a deli worker but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.
I worked as a musician but I found out I wasn't note worthy.
I worked as a doctor but I didn't have any patience.
I became a professional fisherman but I found out I couldn't live on my net income.
I worked as a pool maintenance worker but it was too draining.
I worked at the zoo, feeding giraffes, but I wasn't up to it.
I worked as a historian but found out that there's no future in that.
I worked at Starbucks but I quit because it was always the same old grind.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Relationship Advice
A middle-aged factory worker finds that his love-life has fallen a bit flat lately. During lunch, he asks his buddy:
"Hey man, do you and your wife do anything special to keep s**... interesting? Like...I dunno, do you say anything special to your wife during s**...?"
"Nah." Says the other guy. "I don't keep the phone by the bed."
Old Lady Laughing at The Dentist.
An old lady went in for her dental appointment and was real nervous so the dentist tries to calm her down with an interesting fact.
Dentist:"Did you know the way they used to make latex gloves is they had the factory workers stick their hands in Vats of Latex?"
The old lady nods in amusement and minutes later starts giggling.
Dentist: "What is so funny?"
Old Lady:" I was just thinking about how they used to make condoms."
(Unoriginal Joke heard on the streets).
Two factory workers talking: Woman
Physics Teacher: Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?
Student: Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything.
Two factory workers talking:
Woman: I can make the boss give me the day off.
Man: And how would you do that?
Woman: Just wait and see. She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
Boss comes in: What are you doing?
Woman: I'm a light bulb.
Boss: You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.
The man starts to follow her and the boss says: Where are you going?
The man says: I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark.
An old joke told in the Soviet Union...
Every other Friday a factory guard saw a worker coming out of the factory pushing a wheelbarrow packed with hay.
The guard searched inside the hay, found nothing and let the guy go. This ritual repeated over several years until a time when the guard was about to retire.
When the guy pushing the wheelbarrow appeared at the gate he told him: I know you are stealing something. I am just about to retire and this is my last day here. I will not tell anybody, but, please, let me know what are you stealing. The guy smiled and answered, Oh, I am stealing the wheelbarrows.
A new manager was hired....
The new manager walked all around the factory, inspecting his workers, when he came to a room where he saw someone slacking off, leaning against the wall. The manager hid behind a few pipes and watched the employee for 5 minutes.
The person didn't move a muscle, so the manager aproached him and ordered him to get into the manager's office.
"What is your name?" Asked the manager.
"Steven," he replied.
"And how much do you make in a week?"
"I make about 400 dollars."
the manager pulls out 400 and hands it to him.
"Here's this week's pay, now get out of here and never let me see you again!"
Steven then gets up and goes away.
Realizing he needs a replacement, the manager then walks up to a random worker and asks him: "that guy, Steve, who just left, what does he do around here?"
"Oh Steve?" Replied the worker, "that's the pizza delivery man!"
Two factory workers are talking.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
A man on the floor in a factory stands, not doing any work.
A man on the floor in a factory stands, not doing any work.
CEO comes up and asks his salary.
The man replies - $1000
The CEO pulls out his wallet, gives the man $1,000 and says - here's your month salary. I pay people to work here. Get out and never come back !
The man leaves.
The CEO asks workers - who was this guy ?
They reply - a pizza delivery man.
You're Fired
There is a young man standing on the factory floor, appearing idle.
The CEO of the organisation sees him. He storms up and says, "tell me, what do you earn in a year?"
The young man responds "$1,000"
The CEO reaches into his wallet and pulls out $1,000. He hands it to the young man the money and says "Here, now get out of my factory. You're fired. I don't pay people to be idle."
The young man leaves.
A few moments later, another worker appears on the factory floor. Between breaths, he says, "hey, where did the pizza guy go, I was trying to find my wallet to pay him."
Three Russian men are in the gulag talking with each other.
They get to talking about why there were sent to the gulag.
I was sent here for coming early to work in the factory. I was accused of trying to put myself ahead of my fellow worker. The first one said.
Aye comrad I was sent for being late to work at the factory. I was accused of delaying the revolution. the second commiserated.
Well I was on time to work and I was still sent here. The third said.
Why? They ask.
I was accused of owning a western watch!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a four-legged, three-eyed, mute, deaf, transgender, African-American, handicapped, e**..., cancer-riddled, rich, thrice-divorced, tired, fashionable, pansexual, elderly factory worker?
I don't know.
A factory burned in a fire
One of the survivors, a worker from the factory, goes home to his wife
Honey, there was a fire, the factory burned down and many of my coworkers died
That's horrible! She replied
Tragic... The company is insuring the families of the deceased with hundreds of thousands of dollars
How did you survive? The wife asked.
I stepped outside for a smoke when it caught fire said the husband, to which the wife relied
This is why I've told you a million times to quit smoking!
Three Russian prisoners sit in neighboring cells in the Gulag.
One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"
The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."
The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of wanting to be favored and promoted over my fellow workers."
Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?"
"Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, and so they accused me of having a watch from the West."
Two factory workers
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
A worker was suspected of stealing
Every day the security guys would check his wheelbarrow when he was leaving the factory site. They never found anything. It took them weeks to realize that he was stealing wheelbarrows.
Three men are talking in a Soviet gulag.
One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"
The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."
The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of wanting to be favored and promoted over my fellow workers."
Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?"
"Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, and so they accused me of having a watch from the West."
Soviet Factory
One compatriot who works in a factory suddenly decides to get a folding ladder, climbs to the top, and hangs upside down holding himself with his legs.
The factory officer notices, comes over to him, and says "what are you doing?"
He responds "I'm a light bulb".
The factory officer reponds "Uhh, clearly you are too tired, go home and rest!"
The worker climbs down and leaves for home.
A few seconds later, another worker stumbles towards the exit.
The officer says "Where are you going?"
and he responds "I can't work in the dark"
A foreman of a factory was making his rounds inspecting how all of the workers were doing their jobs.
Well," he said to one blond worker, "I see you are doing a very diligent job stamping all of the boxes 'THIS SIDE UP'."
"Yes," the worker replied, eager to please, "and just to be extra sure I stamped the bottom also!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Vladimir Putin, surrounded by his aides and bodyguards.....
visits a modern art exhibition. "What the h**... is this green circle with yellow spots all over?" he asked. His aide answered, "This painting, president Putin, depicts our heroic peasants fighting for the fulfillment of the plan to produce two hundred million tons of grain."
"Ah-h… And what is this black triangle with red strips?" "This painting shows our heroic industrial workers in a factory." "And what is this dwarf with donkey ears?"
"Mr. president, this is not a painting, this is a mirror."
Factory arson
A factory producing frozen Chinese dumplings is reported to have suffered the worst case of arson in recent history, presumed to be the work of a disgruntled worker.
The police chief said he had never seen a case of such wonton destruction.