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Fact Jokes

134 fact jokes and hilarious fact puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fact that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your next party or outing memorable with these funny fact jokes! From fun facts about animals to crazy traits of Chuck Norris, these laughs are sure to never be forgotten. Enjoy some of the weirdest and most unshakable true facts that nobody could have made up.

Funniest Fact Short Jokes

Short fact jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fact humour may include short truth jokes also.

  1. Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math" Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"
    Interviewer: "Whats 14x27"
    Me: "49"
    Interviewer: "that's not even close"
    me: "yeah, but it was fast"
  2. Fun fact: "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. . . At least, I'm pretty sure that's correct.
  3. My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives... I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
  4. My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives... I️ said, No, in fact, I️ like your mother in law a lot better than I️ like mine
  5. A bikini is an outfit where 90% of a woman's body is exposed. The amazing fact is that men are so decent, they only look at the 10% that isn't.
  6. science fact - did you know you can find the gender of an ant by putting it in water? If it sinks, girl ant.
    If it floats, buoyant.
  7. "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry... Because I always back up my rage with facts and well documented sources" -The Credible Hulk
  8. My Wife just accused me of hating her side of the family and relatives. I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
  9. A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?" "For drinking." replies the cop.
    "Great" says the man. "When do we start?"

    (credit to "Fact and Fun" on youtube)
  10. Tuna must age about five times faster than humans. This is supported by the fact that tuna half-hours are equal to 150 minutes.

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Fact One Liners

Which fact one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fact? I can suggest the ones about actual and feat.

  1. Fun fact: You can't breathe correctly while smiling Just kidding, I made you smile :)
  2. Fun fact: Betsy Devos' name contains every letter of the alphabet that she knows of.
  3. Lazy people fact #4564321564 You were too lazy to read that number.
  4. I'm not just alright with my extra chromosome... In fact, I'm down with it.
  5. The next iPhone won't be a failure In fact, it'll be a huge 6S.
  6. A little known fact... Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.
  7. BREAKING NEWS: Scientists have discovered an amazing fact about icebergs... More below.
  8. I quite enjoy blowing air around a room. In fact, I'm a big fan.
  9. Facts About Lazy People #389479305784 You were too lazy to read that number
  10. There's two types of people Those that can deduce facts from incomplete data
  11. Top 13 facts you NEVER knew about non-conductors. #7 won't shock you.
  12. I went to a posh school. In fact it was so posh, their gym was called James.
  13. Where do facts come from? The factory.
  14. My father always said I was a bright kid... So bright in fact, he always called me son
  15. Reddit, no matter how much I love cake... ...I would never dessert you.

Fun Fact Jokes

Here is a list of funny fun fact jokes and even better fun fact puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Fun Fact- Dogs make different noises according to where they are on Earth. For example, a dog in Korea makes a sizzling noise.
  • Fun movie fact: Did you know that the movie "Speed" featuring Keanu had no director? Because if it had direction, then the movie would be called "Velocity"
  • Fun Fact: The Mortal Kombat theme was actually inspired by an old european song of praise. It was a Finnish hymn.
  • Fun history fact: The trampoline was originally sold under the name "Jumpoline" . . .until June 15th, 1982, when your mom got on one.
  • Fun fact I was born the same day a Green Day album was released So, that means two American Idiots came out that day
  • Fun fact Mt.Everest grows by approximately 44 millimeters every year. when will it everest
  • Fun fact: It is confirmed that monks are allowed to use email. Just as long as there are no attachments.
  • Fun fact: 99% of voters who live in the "path of totality" for the upcoming solar eclipse voted for trump. Which is ironic, because the *last* thing they wanted to do is make the country darker.
  • Wanna hear a fun fact about the Titanic? The pool is still full.
  • Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs. It's also their biggest import.

Matter Of Fact Jokes

Here is a list of funny matter of fact jokes and even better matter of fact puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Fun fact: No matter how much you try to prevent it, one day you may wake up with a large washbasin knocking on your door.
    Just let that sink in.
  • What will beyonce say after her first twin is born? I could have another you in a minute
    Matter fact he'll be here in a minute
  • I walked in on my little son vigorously rubbing shampoo on his shoulders... ...when I asked him what he was doing he matter-of-factly replied, "Mom the bottle says 'Head and Shoulders.'"
  • My wife accused me of hating her relatives... I said, "That's not true! As a matter of fact I like your Mother-in-law much more than I like mine."
  • I did not sleep with that intern last night. Matter of fact, I was up all night.
  • My co-worker arrivrd at work and I said "Hi". He said "Yes, as a matter of fact."
    (True story)
  • Overused joke. Hope you like it anyways. Person 1: Do you know how to use Outlook?
    Person 2: As a matter of fact, I Excel at it.
    Person 1: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
    Person 2: Word.
  • What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest? Father Les.
    And yes, as a matter of fact, I am a dad.
  • Miners don't have it easy on Jokes. As a matter of fact, I've never seen any strike gold here.
  • my car's fuel economy is not doing so good... as a matter of fact, it's tanking
Fact joke, my car's fuel economy is not doing so good...

Animal Fact Jokes

Here is a list of funny animal fact jokes and even better animal fact puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Studies have shown that a deer can jump higher than an average house. This is because deer are agile animals and also due to the fact that a house cannot jump.
  • What happens if a vegan eats a Venus fly trap plant? have they technically eaten the animal too? or are they just an insec-ssory after the fact
  • Fun fact about bleach Bleach is the only Anime that you can drink.
  • Amazing animal fact: Give a pig an apple and it will make bacon.

Crazy Fact Jokes

Here is a list of funny crazy fact jokes and even better crazy fact puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A Mexican gang member stole a train for some crazy reason... Police still don't know anything besides the fact that he has a loco motive.
Fact joke, A Mexican gang member stole a train for some crazy reason...

Silly & Ridiculous Fact Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about fact you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean matter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fact pranks.

I scared the postman today by going to the door completely n**....

I'm not sure what scared him more. My n**... body or the fact I knew where he lived

Gambler

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."

A factory owner is trying to come up with innovative ideas to save money and therefor save his business from going under.

The owner calls a meeting with all of his 200 employees out on the plant floor.
"Ok everyone, we are in deep trouble. I will give $2000 dollars to the first person that comes to me with a cost saving idea."
Immediately a guy in the front row shoots up his hand.
Owner says "Yes, Barry. That was fast, what's your cost saving plan?"
Barry says "make it $1000".

The two old-timers...

...were having a chat over the back fence.
"You know, Chester," said one, "you should invest in some heavier curtains for your bedroom window."
"Why's that, Clem?"
"Because the ones you have now are kinda transparent. In fact, last night I could see you making love to your wife."
"Pfft! That shows how bad your eyesight is. I wasn't even home last night!"

A Russian man lives all alone in a cabin

One day, someone from the government shows up and tells him that due to a map surveyor's error in the 1940s, the cabin he lives in was mistakenly marked as part of Russia, but in fact, it's actually a part of Belarus.
"Oh thank God!" the man exclaims. "I don't think I would have been able to stand another Russian winter here."

Little Billy comes home early from school, only to find his Dad m**... in the living room...

As Billy is quite young, he is shocked and confused at what he is seeing. His Dad tries to explain:
"Don't be scared, Billy. I'm not hurting myself, I'm doing something completely normal. In fact, you are going to start doing it pretty soon as well."
"Why is that, Dad?", young Billy asks.
"Because, son, my hand is getting tired and I need someone to take over."

The Mystery of Childbirth

A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents, "How was I born?"
His mother awkwardly answers, "The stork brought you."
"Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us, too, and Grandpa and Grandma."
The boy begins his paper, "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

The Flintstones

A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said....'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour,
but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fact that you think that it's not society, but the light bulb that should change is problematic.

I've discovered that 1+1 can, in fact, equal 3.

Because I wasn't wearing a c**....

Funny unknown historical fact:

Pharoahs were burried with their hands crossed their chest because it was a historical belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Getting drunk

at the bar the other night when the bar tender yelled out "Does anyone here know CPR?" I was feeling pretty good so i yelled back "I do, in fact i know the whole alphabet!" Everybody in the entire bar laughed..........except for o**....

I heard the Pope's first choice for a guest was in fact Hillary...

But he couldn't afford her speaking fees

Bill Clinton said Hillary is clearly the best choice for president...

He knows for a fact there is no chance she'll blow it.

The CIA, FBI, and the KGB are tasked with finding a rabbit in a forest...

The CIA show up after a few days and release a 6000 word article on the fact that rabbits don't exist.
The FBI show up with a dead rabbit and say in a press release "The rabbit had it coming."
The KGB show up with a bruised and beaten bear. The bear is forced to make a statement "I am a rabbit, my father was a rabbit, and my mother is a rabbit. My whole family are rabbits!" the bear disappears shortly after...

Facts of life

At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he thought that he'd be around for his 104th.
"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."

My recent letter from the BBC read...

"Thanks for entering your wife into our new quiz show.
However, we feel you may have misread the title?
The show is actually called "Fact Hunt"
Credit @ShitJokes via Twitter.

Modern technology has never matched the simplicity and grace of the traditional pen.

In fact, you could say that there is still no e-quill.

I freaked out my mailman today

I freaked out my mailman today when I came to the door completely n**.... I'm not sure what shocked him more, my n**... body, or the fact that I knew where he lived.

A Doctor gives his patient the bad news that he only has a week to live...

Patient - "No, I don't accept that! I'd like an alternative fact please"
Doctor - "Money-wise, you are now set for life"

What's all the fuss about Donald Trump's Russian Ties?

I know for a fact that all his Ties are made in China.

A man walks into a psychologist's office

The psychologist says, "Tell me about yourself?"
The man replies, "It is my deeply held belief that I am in fact a moth."
The psychologist is a little surprised, but being a professional, he thinks for a moment and says, "Well, I am sure I can help you overcome that."
Indignant, the man shoots back, "No way! I love being a moth, thank-you very much!"
"So why on Earth did you come in here?"
"Oh, well I was just passing by and I saw your light on..."

The fact that president Obama needs four inches of bullet proof glass at every public speaking event, is proof that racism is still alive

Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot everyone.

What did the man say to the feminist to get her angry?

Nothing. The fact that he didn't say anything to her made her think that he thought he was superior and therefore a sexist, misogynistic, s**... of the earth

My neighbor's in the guinness book of records.

He's had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me, in fact it's just a stone's throw away.

A brunette goes to the doctor

A brunette goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere I touch it hurts."
He asks "What do you mean?"
So she showed him what she meant. She touched her knee and said "Ouch!" Then she touched her chest and said, "Ouch!" Then her shoulder, "Ouch!"
The doctor looks at her and asks, "You're really blonde, aren't you?"
She replies "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?"
Doctor says, "Well your finger is broken."

There was a kid that was born with no eyelids.

The doctor was able to use the skin from the circumcision to make him new eyelids.
It went really well other than the fact the kid is a little c**...-eyed

I have come to the realization that I am, in fact, a man trapped inside a woman's body…

In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have put the l**... next to the glue…

My neighbors think I'm having s**... with a 3 year old.

I tried to explain it to them but they didn't seem comforted when I cleared up the fact that my German Shepherd is actually 21 in dog years.

My girlfriend is mad about the fact that I have a bad sense of direction

So I got up and right

*Fantastic Ocean Life Facts* The Blue Whale is by far the world's largest animal...

...it's so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.

Did you know that there's a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house?

This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can't jump

So they say m**... regularly is supposed to increase how long you live by about a year and a half.

I have done the math, and figured out that I am, in fact, immortal.

[blonde] Two girls were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour.

"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do."
"Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again. "Yes... no... yes... no...yes..."

Some species of frog can jump higher than a 3-story office building.

It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.

I had this friend named Leonardo. We called him Lee. Anyway, he didn't have alot of money. In fact, he was basically broke...

So one day he stole some bread because he was starving and couldn't buy food. He was caught and sentenced to death. It's really not that funny, but this joke was poor Lee executed.

Timmy had a hard time accepting the fact that he was gay and dyslexic...

He was in Daniel.

It's a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child

Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki

My daughter informed me that the earth is tilted at a 23.5 degree angle

I responded, That's not right.
With a scowl, she pulled up google and proved to me that the earth is, in fact, tilted at a 23.5 degree angle.
Precisely, I agreed. If the angle were right it would be 90°.

I scared the postman today by showing up to the door completely n**......

I'm not sure what him scared him more, the fact I was n**... or that I knew where he lived.

Years ago, my Mother-in-law began reading, "The Exorcist". She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn't finish it, took it to the ocean and threw it off the pier.

I went out, but another copy, ran it under the faucet, and left it beside her bed.

I scared the mailman today by coming to the door n**....

I don't know what terrified him more, the fact that I was n**... or that I knew where he lived.

God and Satan arranged a basketball game between Heaven and h**....

"I know for a fact we are gonna win," said God. "We have all the best players up here...Wilt Chamberlain, Moses Malone, Kobe Bryant, and so on."
"I wouldn't count on that, God," said Satan. "You see, down here, *we* have all the referees."

A woman is preparing a dinner for her parents and sends her husband out to buy some fresh snails.

The husband buys the snails then pops into the pub for a quick drink. One thing leads to another and he stays for a few rounds, so many in fact, that by the time he leaves it's nine in the evening. Realizing he's extremely late the husband runs home, pours the snails over the path leading to his house, then he rings the bell. His furious wife opens the door. 'Where the h**... have you been?' she screams. The husband waves back to the snails, 'Come on, lads!' he shouts 'We're nearly there!'

Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math"

Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math"
Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"
Interviewer: "Whats 14x27"
Me: "49"
Interviewer: "that's not even close"
me: "yeah, but it was fast"

A doctor received a call from his colleague.

"We need a fourth to join us for a game of golf," said his friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
As he was putting his pants on, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," he answered gravely. "In fact, they are three doctors there already."

I've have got this weird f**... for figuring things out.

Matter of fact I just came to that realization.

I've heard that Argentina is starting to get a little colder...

In fact, it's bordering on Chile

So I held a race between my farmhands. They ran equally fast, and demanded I determine the winner.

However, they both threatened to leave the farm if I declared the other the winner. I felt unable to make a decision. As a matter of fact, my hands were tied.

FACT: 24 astronauts AND the Wright Brothers were born in Ohio.

Something about that c**... state makes people want to flee the Earth.

It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe.

Not even remotely.
(I stole this joke from fb and it made my drunk a**... laugh out loud so I wanted to share but I'm sorry if it's a repost)

An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas.

Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've f**... at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!" The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week." The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the h**... you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

I tried having my mother's phone disconnected, but customer service told me that since the account was in my dad's name, he'd have to be the one to put in the request.....

The fact that he'd been dead for 40 years didn't sway the rep. Then a solution hit me: If I stop paying the bill, you can turn off the service, right?
Well, yes, she said reluctantly. But that would ruin his credit.

Dear sir, On behalf of Channel Four may I thank you for your application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new reality show.

Also the charming photograph you enclosed. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that the correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt". Kind regards Channel Four.

23andme is a scam.

I know for a fact my grandparents immigrated to America from Argentina, but my results still came back German .

It was a sad and disappointing day

when I discovered my universal remote control did not in fact control the universe.
Not even remotely.

23andme is a fake, rip-off scam website.

The results of my ancestry came back 85% German and 10% Bavarian/Eastern European, but I know *FOR A FACT* that my grandparents came to the USA from **Argentina!**

The fact Ozzy has COVID now just shows bats always get their revenge.

(All the best to them, hope he gets to live a long time)

a long fish story

An ichthyology student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How are the studies going?" the bartender asks. "Really great. In fact, right now I'm working on my thesis to explain why koi fish always swim in groups of four," the student replies. "Why do they do that?" the bartender asks. "Well, in the wild, if a group of four koi are attacked by a predator, the odds are good that let's say the A koi, the B koi, and the C koi will all escape to reproduce and live another day," the student says. "Because the predator will always go for the D koi."

A disheveled man is busking on the side of the street in London with a sign that says Falklands War Veteran

A well-dressed man notices this and feels bad, having himself been a veteran of the British Army. He pities the busker and tells him, It must be a pity to serve your country and then come home to this. I served in the army, in fact, so I know what it's like. Maybe this will help you out. He then gives the man a rather large stack of cash.
The busker is overjoyed, and as the well-dressed man walks away, he tells him, ¡Muchas gracias, señor!

Fact joke, A disheveled man is busking on the side of the street in London with a sign that says  Falklands War

jokes about fact