Facility Jokes
46 facility jokes and hilarious facility puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about facility that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funny facility jokes that will make facility managers, maintenance technicians, storage facility attendants, and center staff laugh. See funny jokes about wildebeest and kindergartens.
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Funniest Facility Short Jokes
Short facility jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The facility humour may include short equipment jokes also.
- What do you call the facility where they make lower quality, but still acceptable, goods? The satisfactory.
- I can't believe I got fired from my job at the DNA testing facility. After all the blood, sweat, and tears I put in.
- What did the pencil say to the suspicious piece of paper? I dot my i's on you!
-Heard this from an 85 year old lady in a nursing facility. The mental image of this joke is quite funny! - My friend just told me he's opening up an underground water storage facility. Oh, three of them, actually.
Well, well, well... - A company in Thailand recently opened the first combination brothel/tennis facility. They operate on a first come / first serve basis.
- Volkswagen announces it will open a facility in Israel to make a new advanced vehicle... The new models are are so advanced not only will they stop on a dime, they'll actually pick it up.
- Pete Townshend and Keith Moon were arrested last night after releasing 1000 pugs from a cosmetic company's testing facility. The Who let the dogs out.
- Did you hear about the guy that tried to get a date at a facility for women with eating disorders? It was slim pickings.
- Building grain processing facilities is a lucrative business I'm hoping to make a mill by the end of the year.
- So I'm trying to open a chain of outdoor, overnight facilities to help children overcome symptoms of ADHD. Unfortunately I'm having trouble getting the bank to approve a loan for concentration camps.
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Facility One Liners
Which facility one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with facility? I can suggest the ones about service and fitness.
- The sign outside the drug rehab facility was very fitting "Stay off the grass."
- I hate going to aluminium recycling facilities Its soda-pressing.
- The all new self-driving Tesla has a shower facility in it Time to get rid of that Musk
- A Russian walks into an alchohal rehab facility... Wait...what?
- How does Google clean their facilities? They use Google Mops.
- What do you call the research facility in the Middle East? Darpa Darpa
- My grandfather is at a gay retirement facility It's s**...-term care.
Facility Management Jokes
Here is a list of funny facility management jokes and even better facility management puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the manager at the radio telescope facility tell the maintenance guy? Don't forget to do the dishes.
- What do you call a basic university class on golf facility management? A coarse course course.
Correctional Facility Jokes
Here is a list of funny correctional facility jokes and even better correctional facility puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did they decide to call a correctional facility a penitentiary? Because calling it penetrationary would've ruined the surprise.
Great Facility Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about facility you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean firm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make facility pranks.
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."
A cow joke
Our professor started our lecture on ketosis of dairy cows by telling us about an exciting new research project at our veterinary school's dairy facility. They are working with NASA to launch some cows into outer space to orbit the earth. The title of the project is The herd shot round the world.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I heard they built a gayporn production facility on the CERN-compound...
Apparently it's called the "Large h**... Collider".
A recently deceased man was being shown around heaven.
St Peter was looking after him by showing him the various facilities that were available. At the end of the tour, St Peter asked the man if he had any questions.
The man could only think of one. He pointed to a long wall running along one side. "Why do you have a wall there?" asked the man.
St Peter sighed and said, "That is for the Catholics. They`re on the other side. They like to think that they are the only ones here."
A Nigerian man.
*A Nigerian man fainted outside Mr. Biggs (an eatery). Soon a crowd gathered around him and someone suggested, Give him some water, it will help. Hearing this, the man opened one eye and said, Commot from here, if na water I wan drink, I for go faint for water board… (Translation: Get lost! If I needed water, I would faint in front of a water facility)
Miley Cyrus
So Miley Cyrus entered a rehab treatment facility last week but was denied admission because they didn't think it would "twerk" out
R.I.P.
Today a man died after jumping into a waste treatment facility.
The coroner ruled it a sewercide.
We moved my 87 year old grandma into a nursing facility run by nuns
It's assistered living
I had the worst audience participation at my concert
That's the last time I sing If You're Happy and You Know It at a depression treatment facility.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
EA to donate 50% of profits from future titles to starving children around the world.
After they make them purchase the postage, packing materials, fuel for the planes, silverware, plates, drinking cups, seasonings, construct hand out facilities, eating establishments, refuse disposal, environmental studies on said refuse disposal, labor costs and finally any and all expenses from Frank Gaybeau's c**... induced, hotel filled, 5 figure by the hour e**... stuffed full on satanic o**... fest.
My friend built a thatch residence out of prairie grass. He decided to use it as a storage facility for regnal furniture.
I told him that was not a good idea. When he asked why, I told him that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
In Germany it's common for mentally ill patients to be committed to least ten different facilities.
They're in-zehn asylums.
I realised at the last minute that i forgot my protective goggles at the nuclear test facility this morning. My line manager saved my vision and shielded me from the intense light!
He's my super visor
For the second time this month all the animals in a feline cloning facility were killed
Police are looking for a copycat killer
Checking out the birth facility
My pregnant daughter and her husband were checking out a new birth facility that was more like a spa. The birthing room had a hot tub, soft music, and candlelight.
"What do you think?" she said
He looked around. "Isn't this how we got here in the first place?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Choices
A man in a nursing facility turned 80. At his party, a large cake was wheeled in, and an e**... popped out of the cake and said, "Hey birthday boy, would you like to have some super s**...?" And the old man replied, "I guess it depends on what kind of soup."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
First day at a mental asylum.
There was a guy who just got a job at a mental asylum. On his first day, he wanted to familiarise himself with all the patients at the facility. While doing so, he met this dude who looked perfectly normal, muttering some things to a wall. As he came closer, he started to make out what he was saying and it sounded like "98, 98, 98". He walks up to the guy and says, "Hi, I'm John, and I just got hired here". The dude stopped talking; took a good look at him, and slapped the s**... out of him, and looked back the wall and started saying "99, 99, 99".
Scottish Sutherland Vertical Launch facility will not launch manned flights.
Their afraid the astronauts might get kilt.
Three engineers were arguing.
The mechanical engineer, the electrical engineer, and the civil engineer. They were arguing about what sort of an engineer God must be.
"Well, God must be a mechanical engineer, because look at the human skeleton. Look at all the stress it's able to absorb."
"But look at the nervous system. Look at all the wiring. God must be an electrical engineer."
"Well, God must be a civil engineer, because only a civil engineer would run a liquid waste disposal unit right through a major recreational facility."
A man in a mental health facility was having an argument.
A man in a mental health facility was arguing with a hazelnut. "I'm not crazy! You're crazy!" He says.
The squirrel chimed in and said, "You're both nuts!"
