The Best 74 Facebook Jokes

Following is our collection of Facebook jokes which are very funny. There are some facebook tumblr jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these facebook myspace puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

This week in DC, Mark Zuckerberg is currently doing the hardest thing imaginable.

He's explaining Facebook to old people.

Why is Facebook like a prison?

Because you write on walls and people you don't know poke you.

How many 12 year old girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

11; 1 to actually put the lightbulb in, and the other 10 to take hundreds of pictures and upload them to Facebook.

What did one passive aggressive republican say to the passive aggressive democrat?

I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed.

Facebook

So I was in a public library and saw a homeless man I had seen around town on facebook.
It got pretty depressing because the page wouldn't load every time he tried to click 'home'...


Why is it so hard to play cards in the jungle?

There are too many cheetahs.

Courtesy of the St. Louis Zoo Facebook page.

What's the difference between Doctor Who and Facebook?

When the Doctor changes the timeline, it's usually for a good reason.

Guys that try and pick up girls on Facebook are pathetic..

Girls, if you agree message me your number so we can talk about it.

pH number.

So a random person I don't know sends me a message on Facebook which goes like, "cn i hve ur pH no? :)"

To which I reply, "7."

How to pick up chicks at the gym

Pasted from Facebook:
A man asks a trainer in the gym: I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use? Trainer replies: Use the ATM

My New Girlfriend

Facebook asks what I'm thinking.

Twitter asks what I'm doing.

Google asks where I am.

The internet has turned into my girlfriend.

Top Facebook Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore facebook whatsapp reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean facebook twitter dad jokes. There are also facebook puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I asked an Asian girl for her number

She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"

I said, "Wow.."

Her friend said, "She meant 6663629".

Found this joke on Facebook, so I thought I'd share with you guys :)

Facebook bought WhatsApp for $19 billion. What a bunch of morons.

They could've just downloaded it for free.

What spoils quicker than unrefridgerated meat?

The Walking Dead's facebook page.

Facebook should make a bigger deal over privacy, certainly as far as photos are concerned.

I managed to find a really attractive girl I'd seen before, and without adding her, I could see all her photos, including some in a bikini.
I mean, she's lucky it's only me wanking and not some pervert.

Me: Dad, How did you guys manage without Whatsapp & Facebook?

My Dad:Β We used to keep useless information to ourselves.

Colorblind people are wondering why is everyone on Facebook is celebrating Fifty Shades of Grey

I log in facebook to see that everyone is at the bar...

I go to the bar to see that everyone is on facebook.

If you're going to do something illegal don't plan it through Facebook

Do it somewhere private where no one will see you, like google+.


Facebook..in real life...

Presently, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.

Therefore, every day I go down on the street and tell the passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before and what I will do tomorrow night. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog and me gardening and spending time in my pool.
I also listen to their conversations and I tell them I love them.
And it works.

I already have 3 persons following me: 2 police officers and a psychiatrist.

I wanted to make friends but I had no facebook

So I went out on the street and started shouting what I cooked, ate or drank.

Right now I've got 3 followers - two cops and a psychiatrist

Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?

That's as crazy as the discounts at Dave's Furniture Emporium…

I just saved a ton of money on my Christmas shopping by expressing my political views on facebook.

I think somebody went on my Facebook without me knowing...

Everything on it is French now.

"Batman, we need your help in Paris immediately."

"Worry not, Commissioner, I've already changed my Facebook profile picture."

How did realism get me banned from Facebook?

I sided with cancer on the "Kids VS Cancer" page.

The difference between rural, suburban, and urban.

- If you stand naked on the front porch and the neighbors can't see you, it's rural.
- If you stand naked on the front porch and the neighbors call the cops, it's suburban.
- If you stand naked on the front porch and the neighbors ignore you, it's urban.

Credit to someone on /u/jasonreid1976's Facebook.

My daughter asked me what "fap fap fap" means...

I think I should stop commenting on her Facebook pictures.

Facebook Problem

Someone knocked at my door last evening. When I opened it, I saw a guy from Dominos holding a chicken pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and onion rings.

"I haven't ordered any pizza," I said. "This must be a mistake."

"I know," he replied. "Your neighbour forgot his Facebook Password and wanted to show you what he was eating for dinner."

Like it or not...

That's how Facebook works.

Roses are red, Violets are blue...

Pornhub is down, your facebook will do ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)

A dying grandma tells her grandchild....

A dying grandma tells her grandchild, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash." The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, "Oh grandma, you are SO generous! I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?" With her last breath, Grandma whispered, "Facebook..."

What's the difference between a Pokemon Go player and a Facebook user??

Pokemon Go players are only wasting their own time ;)

I don't understand Facebook.

If I wanted to convince complete strangers that my life was better than theirs I'd become a rapper.

Earlier today I saw the Facebook group 'kids vs cancer'

Well, it turns out writing "my money is on cancer every time" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail.

One day Facebook, YouTube and Twitter will merge.

It will be called YouTwitFace.

Mark Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter.

He runs Facebook.

A vegan friend's status said if we had to kill...

A vegan friend's status said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn't eat meat.

I think if he had to build his own computer he'd wouldn't whine on Facebook.

I just realized I haven't taken a Facebook quiz in years.

I don't even know who I am anymore.

Why does Voldemort use Twitter but not Facebook?

He only has followers, not friends.

I tried training for the Samaritans once.

But they told me I wasn't good at listening and I said "what?" and they said I wasn't good at listening.

-- This joke was made by a friend on facebook in the UK who currently has a really really bad time - homeless and suicidal. I found the joke really funny. Would be really nice if I could show him that he is actually a pretty funny lad and has reasons to continue living. (I'm 100% serious!!)

New fast and the Furious movie should be called... 'Fast 10: Your Seat belts'

Source: Wife's Facebook... made me chuckle.

I set up a Facebook page for Chinese nazis

It has 3 reichs

My girlfriend just sent me a Facebook message saying:

My girlfriend just sent me a Facebook message saying:

helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalternative

Does anybody know what 'ternative' means?

My ex updated her status on Facebook to standing on the edge of a cliff.

So I poked her

So I set up an internet page for Chinese Nazis...

So far it's gotten three Reichs on Facebook

A plus sign, a multiplication sign , and a minus sign walk into a bar.

The bartender serves the multiplication sign first, then he serves the plus sign, and the minus sign from left to right and a bunch of people from Facebook don't know why.

Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet.

Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.

Yesterday my brother uploaded a status on Facebook.

He wrote in his facebook status "I love my girlfriend <3"

I knew that he liked them young but this is getting out of hand.

Facebook is like jail

You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know

I just opened up a Facebook page for Chinese Nazis

It has three Reichs so far

If it wasn't for my wife, I'd probably be writing depressive Facebook messages all day.

But she changed my password.

I started a Chinese-Nazi Facebook page

so far its got three reichs

So much for privacy...

Google: We really value your privacy

Twitter: We'd never collect anything

Apple: We securely encrypt everything on-device

Facebook: Literally gives you an ad for something you dreamt about

If I had a vaccine for every bullshit news article that's been spread about by stay at home moms on Facebook

I would have autism.

The misuse of users' Facebook data has caused Mark Zuckerberg significant emotional distress.

He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.

Facebook will reveal what information about you was leaked in recent years.

Just log in and fill out this quiz on our new app.

Mark Zuckerberg values your privacy

at $157 Facebook stock price

Technologically slow dad

Asks his son
"Son, can you show me how to remove a picture I posted on Facebook?

Son, busy, replies
"Why do you ask me every time? Why don't you ask someone else to teach you?"

Dad replies
"Well, a man always learns from his mistakes!"

Why did Zuckerberg create Facebook?

He couldn't pass the captcha for Myspace.

Just tried to change my password to..

Just tried to change my password to.. 'The_Last_Jedi,' but Facebook wouldn't let me. Said there are too many useless characters.

If Facebook buys Gmail, instead of 'mark as read' the feature will be called,

'Mark has read'.

People say Facebook knows more about us than we do

Facebook still thinks I have friends.

If Facebook buys Gmail....

If Facebook buys Gmail then the 'mark as seen' option would be changed to 'Mark has seen'.

I started a Facebook group for people who love bicycling

But apparently nobody wants to join the Pedalphiles.

I just got kicked out of a Flat Earth Facebook group....

.... because I asked if the 1.5m social distancing had pushed anyone over the edge yet.

Since Facebook claims ownership of everything you post on their website

I think I should start uploading my bills.

Tinder is for rookies

Go to Facebook marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It'll show you recently divorced females in your area. From there you can filter by size

I just got kicked out of Flat Earth Facebook group.

I just got kicked out of Flat Earth Facebook group because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing guideline has pushed anyone over the edge yet.

6 years ago i DMed my facebook crush telling her that I am going to take her out on a date. Today I asked her to marry me.

She said no both times and blocked me

Whats Forrest Gump's Facebook password?

1forrest1

IF YOU SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK SAYING "CLICK HERE FOR TRUMP NUDES" DON'T OPEN IT

IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.

I've given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles.

Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I've eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.

And it works. I already have three people following me… two police officers and a psychiatrist.

I swear Grandma didn't send this to me on Facebook...

Doctor - so, what did you have for dinner last night?

Patient - I had a fruit salad.

D - only fruit salad? Well, that should help with your cholesterol. And strawberries are very high in...

P - well, it was mostly grapes.

D - mostly?

P - well, all grapes.

D - still, fresh grapes are...

P - they weren't overly fresh. Well, a little older, maybe. Fermented?

D - ...

P - Okay, wine. I had wine for dinner.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the facebook offline jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working facebook status piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes