Following is our collection of Facebook jokes which are very funny. There are some facebook tumblr jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these facebook myspace puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
He's explaining Facebook to old people.
Because you write on walls and people you don't know poke you.
11; 1 to actually put the lightbulb in, and the other 10 to take hundreds of pictures and upload them to Facebook.
I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed.
So I was in a public library and saw a homeless man I had seen around town on facebook.
It got pretty depressing because the page wouldn't load every time he tried to click 'home'...
There are too many cheetahs.
Courtesy of the St. Louis Zoo Facebook page.
When the Doctor changes the timeline, it's usually for a good reason.
Girls, if you agree message me your number so we can talk about it.
So a random person I don't know sends me a message on Facebook which goes like, "cn i hve ur pH no? :)"
To which I reply, "7."
Pasted from Facebook:
A man asks a trainer in the gym: I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use? Trainer replies: Use the ATM
Facebook asks what I'm thinking.
Twitter asks what I'm doing.
Google asks where I am.
The internet has turned into my girlfriend.
You can explore facebook whatsapp reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean facebook twitter dad jokes. There are also facebook puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"
I said, "Wow.."
Her friend said, "She meant 6663629".
Found this joke on Facebook, so I thought I'd share with you guys :)
They could've just downloaded it for free.
The Walking Dead's facebook page.
I managed to find a really attractive girl I'd seen before, and without adding her, I could see all her photos, including some in a bikini.
I mean, she's lucky it's only me wanking and not some pervert.
My Dad:Β We used to keep useless information to ourselves.
I go to the bar to see that everyone is on facebook.
Do it somewhere private where no one will see you, like google+.
Presently, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.
Therefore, every day I go down on the street and tell the passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before and what I will do tomorrow night. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog and me gardening and spending time in my pool.
I also listen to their conversations and I tell them I love them.
And it works.
I already have 3 persons following me: 2 police officers and a psychiatrist.
So I went out on the street and started shouting what I cooked, ate or drank.
Right now I've got 3 followers - two cops and a psychiatrist
That's as crazy as the discounts at Dave's Furniture Emporiumβ¦
Everything on it is French now.
"Worry not, Commissioner, I've already changed my Facebook profile picture."
I sided with cancer on the "Kids VS Cancer" page.
- If you stand naked on the front porch and the neighbors can't see you, it's rural.
- If you stand naked on the front porch and the neighbors call the cops, it's suburban.
- If you stand naked on the front porch and the neighbors ignore you, it's urban.
Credit to someone on /u/jasonreid1976's Facebook.
I think I should stop commenting on her Facebook pictures.
Someone knocked at my door last evening. When I opened it, I saw a guy from Dominos holding a chicken pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and onion rings.
"I haven't ordered any pizza," I said. "This must be a mistake."
"I know," he replied. "Your neighbour forgot his Facebook Password and wanted to show you what he was eating for dinner."
That's how Facebook works.
Pornhub is down, your facebook will do ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
A dying grandma tells her grandchild, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash." The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, "Oh grandma, you are SO generous! I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?" With her last breath, Grandma whispered, "Facebook..."
Pokemon Go players are only wasting their own time ;)
If I wanted to convince complete strangers that my life was better than theirs I'd become a rapper.
Well, it turns out writing "my money is on cancer every time" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail.
It will be called YouTwitFace.
He runs Facebook.
A vegan friend's status said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn't eat meat.
I think if he had to build his own computer he'd wouldn't whine on Facebook.
I don't even know who I am anymore.
He only has followers, not friends.
But they told me I wasn't good at listening and I said "what?" and they said I wasn't good at listening.
-- This joke was made by a friend on facebook in the UK who currently has a really really bad time - homeless and suicidal. I found the joke really funny. Would be really nice if I could show him that he is actually a pretty funny lad and has reasons to continue living. (I'm 100% serious!!)
Source: Wife's Facebook... made me chuckle.
It has 3 reichs
My girlfriend just sent me a Facebook message saying:
helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalternative
Does anybody know what 'ternative' means?
So I poked her
So far it's gotten three Reichs on Facebook
The bartender serves the multiplication sign first, then he serves the plus sign, and the minus sign from left to right and a bunch of people from Facebook don't know why.
Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.
He wrote in his facebook status "I love my girlfriend <3"
I knew that he liked them young but this is getting out of hand.
You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know
It has three Reichs so far
But she changed my password.
so far its got three reichs
Google: We really value your privacy
Twitter: We'd never collect anything
Apple: We securely encrypt everything on-device
Facebook: Literally gives you an ad for something you dreamt about
I would have autism.
He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.
Just log in and fill out this quiz on our new app.
at $157 Facebook stock price
Asks his son
"Son, can you show me how to remove a picture I posted on Facebook?
Son, busy, replies
"Why do you ask me every time? Why don't you ask someone else to teach you?"
Dad replies
"Well, a man always learns from his mistakes!"
He couldn't pass the captcha for Myspace.
Just tried to change my password to.. 'The_Last_Jedi,' but Facebook wouldn't let me. Said there are too many useless characters.
'Mark has read'.
Facebook still thinks I have friends.
If Facebook buys Gmail then the 'mark as seen' option would be changed to 'Mark has seen'.
But apparently nobody wants to join the Pedalphiles.
.... because I asked if the 1.5m social distancing had pushed anyone over the edge yet.
I think I should start uploading my bills.
Go to Facebook marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It'll show you recently divorced females in your area. From there you can filter by size
I just got kicked out of Flat Earth Facebook group because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing guideline has pushed anyone over the edge yet.
She said no both times and blocked me
1forrest1
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I've eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.
And it works. I already have three people following me⦠two police officers and a psychiatrist.
Doctor - so, what did you have for dinner last night?
Patient - I had a fruit salad.
D - only fruit salad? Well, that should help with your cholesterol. And strawberries are very high in...
P - well, it was mostly grapes.
D - mostly?
P - well, all grapes.
D - still, fresh grapes are...
P - they weren't overly fresh. Well, a little older, maybe. Fermented?
D - ...
P - Okay, wine. I had wine for dinner.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the facebook offline jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working facebook status piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.