Face Mask Jokes
73 face mask jokes and hilarious face mask puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about face mask that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Face Mask Short Jokes
Short face mask jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The face mask humour may include short face covering jokes also.
- Just been in to starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"
She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter." - Coughy Filter Joke The barista at Starbucks was wearing a face mask.
Me: Why are you wearing a surgical mask?
She said: I'm not, it's a coughy filter. - PSA do not wear a washington wizards face mask. CDC studies have shown they provide no defense
- Today at the pharmacy I saw a woman without a face mask buying a pregnancy test. She clearly isn't a fan of protection
- I forgot to wear a mask in the local supermarket. The manager told me to never show my face there again.
- I feel so bad for the deaf people who need to read lips to communicate, because of all of the face masks right now. Let's give them all a moment of silence.
- A Republican walks up to a Democratic with a face mask and say, do you know what I say to sheep like you?... Whatever the Republican Party tells me too say.
- PSA: If you or a loved one has been forced to wear glasses and a face mask at the same time They may be entitled to condensation
- Man with a beard a 100 years ago: "Ok, I'll go chop down some trees." Man with beard today: " I found a great face mask that's gluten and cruelty free."
- I recently went paintballing but they gave me a faulty mask that kept falling off... I complained until I was blue in the face.
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Face Mask One Liners
Which face mask one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with face mask? I can suggest the ones about wear mask and masks.
- Yo mamma so ugly... The whole world faked a virus just to get a mask on her face.
- Dolly Parton is launching a new face mask It's called worKN95
- Are you an N95 mask? Cause I want you on my face
- A big nose is no excuse to not wear a face mask After all, I wear pants...
- Yo momma so fat She has to wear a pillow case as a face mask
- I was wondering why my face mask crashed... Turns out it's one of those WiN95 masks.
- What did Luke get for pulling Darth Vader's face mask off? A 15 yard penalty.
- Who wears a toga and a face mask? The Roman Umpire.
- Yo mama so s**... She wears a face mask on a zoom meeting
Face Mask Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about face mask you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wearing mask jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make face mask pranks.
During a bank robbery, the thief's mask slipped off.
He fixed it and asked a hostage, "Did you see my face?" The hostage had, so the thief killed him. He asked the next hostage, same result. After he asked a third hostage, the guy responded, "No, but my wife did."
From a Southwest Airlines employee
"Welcome aboard Southwest Flight x**... to Chicago. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."
A masked thief bursts into a bank...
As he climbs over the counter his balaclava catches and comes off for a second, before he quickly puts it back on.
The thief says to the cashier "did you see my face?", the cashier says "yes, I did!". Then the thief shoots her dead.
The thief then goes up to a customer and says "did you see my face?", the customer says "yes", then the robber shoots him right in the head.
The thief then runs up to a couple and says to the man "did you see my face?", then man says "no, but my wife did!".
Are my .....
A male patient is lying in bed at a hospital with an oxygen mask over his face and still heavily sedated from more than four hours of operation. A young female nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.
Patient: Nurse (he feebly mumbles from behind the mask) are my t**... black?
Embarrassed young nurse: I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet.
Patient (struggles again to ask): Nurse, Please, Are my t**... black?
Finally, she removes his covers, lifts his gown, takes a close look and says: There is nothing wrong with them!
Patient (slowly after removing his oxygen mask): That was very nice but listen very, closely – ARE…MY…TEST…RESULTS…BACK?
Great joke to make fun of any profession that is hard to get a job in
I'll be using a musician, since I'm a frustrated musician.
There once was a musician looking for a job, he was starting to get desperate since it had been so long since he made any money. One day he gets excited finding out that there's an opening for a musician in the Circus so he goes to the interview.
Arriving at the Circus, the Circus owner explains to him that unfortunately the musician job opportunity had already been taken, but if he really needed a job he had one for him...the musician is disappointed but so desperate he says he will be up to anything.
The circus owner shows him what he has to do, he has to dress up as a deer and cross the high rope over a cage full of hungry lions... hesitant, but desperate the musician accepts.
On his first night in the job, the musician gets ready for his performance, dresses up as a deer and starts crossing the high rope, when he is halfway through he falls, right into the middle of the lions and all the lions immediately surround him.
The lions start running towards him, getting closer and closer until the closest one is right in front of his face...
The lion takes off his mask and says "don't worry! just play along! we're all musicians!"
A man is laying in a hospital bed...
He has just taken a few tests, to find out what is wrong with him. He is feeling pretty awful, so he has an IV, and oxygen mask, etc. So the nurse walks in to see if the man needs anything.
Would you like anything? She says.
The man says, Yes, are my t**... black?
The nurse is very confused.
I don't know, sir. She says.
Please check, He says, if my t**... are black .
The woman is still confused, but she decides to check. She lifts up his hospital gown, sees that everything is in order, and puts it back down.
Well, sir, she says, you are fine. Your t**... are not black .
That's great, now listen closely, the man says, removing the oxygen mask from his face, *are my test results back?*
A women is working at a s**... bank
A man with a ski mask comes and points a gun at her face, he says "hey you open that fridge" she says but sir this isn't a regular bank its a s**... bank" he says "I know now open that fridge and take out one of those containers" terrified she does so, he then says "now drink it" as she slowly starts drinking it the man takes off his mask and says "see honey its not so bad"
Masked man robs a s**... bank...
... He approaches the safe with a gun and yells at the nurse,
"Open up this safe!"
Nurse replied in fear, "But sir this is a s**... bank, we don't have any money here."
I said open up this safe now!" he yelled again and the nurse opened it up.
"Now drink this viel!"
"But sir this is s**...!"
"I said drink!" and the nurse drank with disgust.
"Drink another!" and she emptied another viel with less resistance.
The robber reveals his face and nurse found out that the robber was actually her husband.
"Now Sharon, was it really that hard?"
In the process of robbing a bank, a robber's mask came off
He quickly put it back on his face and asked the teller directly ahead of him if she saw his face. She admitted that she did, so he shot and killed her.
He then turned to a man, who just happened to be in the bank at the time of the robbery, then he asked if the man saw his face.
The man replied with, "No, but I'm pretty sure my wife did."
A Bank Robber Forgot His Mask
A bank robber wanted to keep his identity a secret, but he forgot to bring his mask. He told everyone in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them.
One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the bank robber did what he said he would... he shot him. The robber asked the crowd if anyone else had seen his face...
One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said "I think my wife got a glimpse."
What did the quadriplegic mountain climber who always wears a bee-keepers mask say to his d**... Sherpa girlfriend?
I can't feel my face when I'm with you.
But I love it.
A hooded bank robber burst into a bank demanding cash
Once his bags were full he started making his way out when a brave soldier ripped his mask off and sees his face. The robber, realizing his face has been exposed, shoots and kills him dead. The robber turns around and sees a bank teller looking him in the eyes so he walks up to him and shoots him dead aswell. He puts his mask back on and yells "did anyone else see my face?". At this point everyone is staring at the floor too terrified to look up. After a few moments of utter silence an old man raises his hand his while keeping his face on the floor he says "my wife got pretty good look at you"
I murdered my coworker
I murdered my coworker, took off his skin, and wore his face like a mask for a month.
All because my wife told me to be Frank with her.
A bank robber's mask falls off mid-heist.
He makes eye contact with a hostage directly facing him and shoots him. He puts his mask back on and turns to face the other two hostages, a man and a woman. "Did either of you see my face?!" He yells.
The man answers, "I didn't, but I think my wife might have..."
A bank robber just finished his heist
Unfortunately, his mask accidentally dropped for a few seconds. He picked it up, put it back, then asked a guy kneeling next to him.
"Did you see my face?" Asked the robber.
"Yes, but I swear I won't-" A bullet went through the guy's head. Then the robber asked the next guy kneeling next to his wife.
"And you? Did you see my face"
"No, sir. But my wife did"
If I had a mask that only revealed the attractive parts of my face...
People would think I was really in to b**...
An archery contest
Once upon a time there was an archery competition.
The first contestant, wearing a long cape covering his face, put a watermelon on a volunteer, took 100 paces away then turned and fired. The watermelon exploded. The archer took off his cape and claimed: I AM ROBINHOOD!
The second one with a hood put an apple above the volunteer head, took 200 paces and fired right through the apple. He then removed the hood and shouted: I AM BAYEK OF SIWA!
Finally, a third man with a mask lined up in position. He put a grape on the volunteer's head and went away for 500 paces. He shot, then grinned and said: ^^^^^I ^^^^^am ^^^^^sorry .
Bank Robber
A masked armed robber runs into a bank and up to the first teller. As he begins to tell her to give up the cash, his mask falls off. He puts it back on and then asks her if she saw his face. She replies yes, so he shoots her dead. Next teller is asked the same thing, replies yes and bang, dead. He then turns to a couple standing in line and asks the man if he saw his face. The man replies "No, but my wife did."
TIFU by accidentally cheating on my partner at a b**... convetion with a transgender person who was whearing the same leather face mask
Whooooops, wrong sub.
I bought my missus a beauty face mask for her birthday.
It says to leave on for 3 hours. That's the longest I could find.
BE CAREFUL IN SUPERMARKETS!!!
My wife and I went to grocery. Of course, we had face mask and goggles to be safe.
When we got there, wow, there are still too many people. Scary !
I decided, and I pulled my wife to go home cos we might even catch Covid there.
But, contradicting me, she wants to let go and doesn't want to go home!
Oh my goodness! I really dragged her back to the car.
In the car, she ignores me and is angry.
When we arrived home, when we remove face mask.
She is not my wife.
Why does Batman's mask hide only half his face?
So that the cops can see he's white and not shoot him on sight.
A shy horse wants to go to the bar and have a drink.
But he does not want to be seen in public. So he puts on a a donkey mask. Wearing the donkey mask, the horse walks into the bar.
The Chinese bartender says, "Hey, why the wrong face?"
I have started using the left cup of a bra as a face mask when going outside.
It's so I won't look like a right t**....
Just a question for people that put the face mask when they're alone in their car,
Do you put the c**... when you're alone in bed?
I'm confused on what you need to enter a store or restaurant nowadays....
... is it a face mask or a brick?
My daughter wanted to use a Snapchat filter on my face, but I wouldn't let her...
I said, It would make me feel E-mask-ulated.
Now that I'm wearing a face mask all day, half my face is constantly hot.
Not too bad being a 5/10
My dog is in diapers because she's in heat, so I took her picture while she was sleeping and printed it onto my N95 mask.
Now I have a resting b**... face mask
Doesn't wearing a mask make you more likely to get the virus?
After all, your face is covid.
This is an important message from Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe:
Having to wear a face mask along with your glasses?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Call us today!
A guy with a face mask is leaning up against the outer wall of a Wells Fargo bank.
A police officer comes and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm holding up this bank," the man says.
"Very funny. Now move along."
The man walks away, and the bank falls down.
I've just bought my pet duck a face mask so I can take him for a walk during corona-virus.
Its nothing flashy but it fits the bill.
Time machine back to 2019
Dr. Fauci is at the beach when he discovers a bottle, he opens it and a Genie appears.
The Genie says, "I have been trapped for 1000 years.
As a reward you can make a wish."
Dr. Fauci thinks about it and says - Get me time machine so that I can go to 2019 and stop the Chinese spread corona virus.
The Genie replies, "I don't know I can do a lot, but this? Don't you have another wish?"
Dr. Fauci thinks and finally says, OK.
Can you get Floridians wear face mask?
The Genie says, "Which year did you say?"
You can recycle an old brassiere into a face mask. It is important to remember to only use the left cup...
otherwise you will end up looking like a right t**....
I get why Karen's hate wearing face masks
Because they make mouth breathers smell their own breath
A man and his wife are at a bank when it gets robbed.
While the robber is filling his bag, his mask falls off.
"Okay, everyone get in a line!" and the robber questions the first person, "Did you see my face when my mask fell off?"
The customer, scared and confused, says, "Well... I mean, yeah."
Boom, the robber shoots him dead.
He goes to the second person in line. "Did you see my face when my mask fell off?"
The next customer goes, "Oh no, not at all!"
The robber moves on to the next person in line. "Did you see my face when my mask fell off?"
"Oh no, I didn't see you face. But my wife did."
I walked into my local bank, they asked me to remove my mask..
I said there was no way I was going risk my life or theirs by exposing us to an unprotected face.
.
.
.
Then I gave them 1 minute to fill the duffle bag.
I'm gonna lose my mind if someone says they cant breathe or talk wearing a face mask
I had a girl in my basement for seven months wearing a b**... and she's fine
Little Johnny showed up to school b**... n**... except for a mask on his face.
When the teacher asked why he came to school like this, to which Johnny replied:
"They said admittance will be with mask only, so I came with a mask only."
If you ever feel like your life is meaningless
Just remember that someone out there provides Donald Trump with face masks.
The 12 Days of Corona
In the year 2020, the pandemic gave to me:
12 Cancelled Plans
11 Face Masks
10 Sanitizers
9 m**... Hornets
8 Zoom Calls
7 Mental Breakdowns
6 Feet Apart
5 Curbside Pickups
4 Quarantines
3 Travel Restrictions
2 Karens Complaining
And a massive shortage of Grocery Store TP
Thoughtful Gesture
N Y Governor Cuomo assured the public that he always wore his face mask while s**... harassing his accusers
An armed masked man bursts into a bank yelling "EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS UP, THIS IS A ROBBERY!"
The patrons and staff, terrified, comply.
He's loading up his sack with cash when his mask slips off. He quickly pulls it back up and sees two guys who may have seen his face. He points his gun at the first.
"Did you see my face?"
"Yes"
BANG, he shoots him.
He then points it at the second guy.
"Did you see my face?"
The second guy points at a woman sitting far off in the reception area.
"No, but my mother in law did!"
"Oh no, the rubber ripped!"
\- Alissa (21 y.o.) panics and runs into bathroom
\- Alfred (24) needs new tires
\-Lara (27) now has no pony-tail
\- Ben (28) holds his mask to his face
\-David (29) watches his friend during bungee-jump