Face Jokes

Funniest Face Short Jokes

Short face jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The face humour may include short facing jokes also.

1. So Tekashi69 could face life in prison Which is nice because we might finally get to see a mumble rapper completing a sentence
   
2. What do you call a mac 'n' cheese that gets all up in your face? Too close for comfort food!
3. I threw my girlfriend a surprise bukakke party. Everyone came, you should have seen her face.
4. My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She's at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.
5. A Tibetan monk sees the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine. He raises his eyes to the heavens and exclaims "I can't believe it's not Buddha!"
6. What did the Tibetan monk say when he saw the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine? "I can't believe it's not Buddha."
7. When I asked my daughter what she wanted for dinner, she said with a straight face, "uncooked boys." Ramen. Took me second, but I was much relieved when I figured it out.
8. I bought my wife a fridge as an anniversary present. I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
9. (from my 11 yo) What does Darth Vader say after cutting someone's head off with a lightsaber? "I find your lack of face disturbing."
10. I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary... I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it.

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Face One Liners

Which face one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with face? I can suggest the ones about skin and appearance.

1. Why does Batman leave his lower face visible? So cops can see that he's white
2. Break ups are the worst in China... You see her face everywhere.
3. What does Chris Rock have on his face right now? Fresh prints!
4. Why are gay people bad liars? They can't keep a straight face
5. Face is a four letter word. But preface is a foreword letter.
6. I first noticed I was going bald When it took longer and longer to wash my face.
7. Why is your nose in middle of your face? Because it's the scenter.
8. "Siri, why am I single?" Siri: opens front face camera
9. Box of condoms = $6.99 Cashier's face when you ask where the fitting room is = Priceless
10. Why do gay people smile so much? It's hard for them to keep a straight face.
11. Had to quit my job at the watch factory. The guy sitting opposite me, kept making faces.
12. Why do gay people laugh a lot? Because they can never keep a straight face.
13. I finally figured out why I look so bad in photos. It's my face.
14. Yo Mama has so many warts... Her face spells "ugly" in Braille
15. Why can't gay people play poker? Because they can't keep a straight face.

Your Face Jokes

Here is a list of funny your face jokes and even better your face puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My wife threatened to leave me because I wouldnt stop singing "I'm a believer". I thought she was joking And then I saw her face...
• What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits untill a boy's 12 before it comes on his face.
• My wife threatened to leave me due to my obsession with 'The Monkees'. I didn't think she was serious. And then I saw her face...
• After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. Who was that?
• My mom laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.
• I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
• There's a support group for people addicted to plastic surgery... The head of the group walks in and says, "I'm seeing a lot of new faces this week, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."
• It was 11 years ago today that my pal Joey came running out of that room shouting it's a boy it's a boy with tears streaming down his face. We never went back to Thailand.
• Why did the mermaid rush out of her maths exam, red faced and embarrassed? Because her algaebra didn't hold up.
• My little sister made a face at my mom and said "Guess who I am?" My mom answered "Who?"
  "Your daughter"
  courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago

Sitting On Face Jokes

Here is a list of funny sitting on face jokes and even better sitting on face puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Me and the wife had a few issues in the bedroom last night... That's the last time I use my Sean Connery accent to ask her to sit on my face.
• Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White? 'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.
  *Joke's from my Dad and his friend*
• Well, that's the last time I tell my girlfriend to sit on my face... whilst doing a Sean Connery impersonation.
• One thing that Sean Connery asked his wife only once and never again. To sit on his face.
• My father always told me, he liked his women like he liked his sunglasses. Sitting on his face.
• What are the two main problems about being an egg? You only get laid once and the only woman to sit on your face is your mother.
• I like my women like I like my glasses Sitting on my face
• Why is it no fun being an egg? You only get laid once, you only get smashed once and the only bird who sits on your face is your mother.
• Did you hear about the woman banned from Disney World? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming, "Lie to me, Pinocchio! Lie to me!"
• I feel bad for eggs. They only get laid once, they only get smashed once and the only chick who ever sits on their face is their mother.

Sit On My Face Jokes

Here is a list of funny sit on my face jokes and even better sit on my face puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My girlfriend wakes me up by sitting on my face. I've been waking up at the crack of Dawn.
• If a were a serial killer I would kill my victims by sitting on their face until they suffocate The media would call me the Assphyxiator
• Why was Raggedy Ann thrown out of the Toy Box? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, saying "Lie to me!"
• Why is Pinocchio the most requested at the Disney brothel? Because he lets girls sit on his face while he tells them lies.
• What the difference between glasses and a girl with glasses? :glasses seem to sit a bit higher on my face
• Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"
• I'd sit on Ellen Pao's face... ... Just so I wouldn't have to look at it.
• What did Pinocchio say to his girlfriend Sit on my face and I'll tell you some lies.
• Roses are red, so are your lips. Sit on my face and wiggle those hips.
• How do you know when your wife has suddenly put on weight? When she sits on your face and you can't hear the stereo.

Long Face Jokes

Here is a list of funny long face jokes and even better long face puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Horse walks into a bar, bartender asks why the long face? Horse replies, The bank denied my home loan because I don't have stable income.
• A horse walks into a bar... The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
  The horse replies, "My alcoholism is destroying my family."
• A horse walks into a triangular bar of dimensions X,Y, and Z, where X and Z are perpendicular. He asks the barman where the toilets are. "Y, the long face."
• A horse walks into a bar and says, On a right-angled triangle with sides X, Y and Z, if X and Z are perpendicular, which side is opposite the right angle? The bartender says, Y, the long face.
• I'll never forget the look on the cashier's face... when she scanned the packet of bird seed, and I asked her if she knew how long it took for the birds to grow once the seeds have been planted.
• A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" To which the horse replies "I have testicular cancer".
• Facing the consequences A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, How long have you been wearing that bra? The friend replies, Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.
• A pony goes into a bar, and the bar tender asks him why the long face? I didn't make it into the men's choir.
  Well, you are a little horse.
• A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, why the long face?" "Because I have a crippling addiction to alcohol." says the horse.
• A horse walks into a bar. He orders a shot of whiskey and a beer.
  The bartender says Why the long face?
  The horse replies My alcoholism is destroying my family.

Hilarious Face Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about face you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean figure jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make face pranks.