Fabric Jokes
49 fabric jokes and hilarious fabric puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fabric that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you need a good laugh? Check out this collection of funny fabric jokes— perfect for making your friends and family chuckle. From jokes about fabric softener to plush jokes and even jokes about upholstery and sandals, this list is sure to have everyone in stitches!
Funniest Fabric Short Jokes
Short fabric jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fabric humour may include short cloth jokes also.
- I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener. Now her clothes don't fit.
- What do you call a seamstress who makes things up? A *fabric*ator.
It was a slow day at work... - My great grandad used to make fabric booths for clairvoyants and fortune tellers.. He was a con-tent creator.
- My friend told me he holds a world record in quilt making I suspect his whole story is fabricated.
- The police didn't believe me when I told them I found a flying carpet... They called the whole thing fabricated.
- I thought my wife was going on a belgium holiday to buy chocolates. When she got back, I found out she'd actually been on holiday in Paris buying curtain materials. It was a fabrication.
- So my grandmother came up to me and asked me to cut a piece of fabric into strips for her. I asked her "What width?" She replied: "with scissors of course."
- What is the difference between a piece of fabric with elastic around the edges, designed to go on a bed, and an unexpected bout of diarrhea when wearing sandals? One is a fitted sheet...
- Did you hear about the kayaker that hit a submerged couch during the Rio Olympics? It was fabricated.
- Someone tried to steal my silk sheets and replace them with a cheaper fabric. Not today, satin.
Not today.
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Fabric One Liners
Which fabric one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fabric? I can suggest the ones about craft and piece cloth.
- Did you hear the joke about the false piece of cloth? It was fabricated.
- Did you hear about the new cult that worships fabrics? They're Satinists.
- Went to the hardwear store today... They could really use some fabric softener.
- what fabric softener do special ed kids use? Downy
- What did the fabric manufacturer name his two daughters? Poly and Esther
- Sure, you can borrow my black and white fabric Just don't make a habit out of it
- What's super marios favorite type of fabric? Denim denim denim.
- What is a communist's favorite fabric? Linen.
- My mate is made completely out of matted wool fabric. He's felt better
- What type of fabric does communist Russia use? Lenin.
- What do you call a lie told by a T-Shirt? A fabrication
- What holds the fabric of spacetime together? *Epoch*xy
- Are you a carpenter? Because your fabricating stories!
- What did the stubborn, fabric-bound book say to the leather books? I will not be suede!
- What fabric softener is used on the uniforms at the Special Olympics? Downy
Fabric Softener Jokes
Here is a list of funny fabric softener jokes and even better fabric softener puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I lost a court case against a well known fabric softener company. Yes, I fought Lenor and Lenor won
- What's the best fabric Softener to use on a cat? Pounce...
The Funniest Fabric Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about fabric you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean coat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fabric pranks.
James Bond is laid off
James Bond is laid off and at the job center, there are only two jobs available, one in a call center and the other in a fabric coloring plant
"Huh, " said Bond, "you expect me to talk?"
"No Mr Bond, " replied the interviewer, "I expect you to dye. "
A daughter comes home and proudly shows off her new dress to her dad.
"Oh honey, that's a beautiful dress! What fabric is it? Is it felt?"
The girl looks confused and asks, "um, I don't know, why?"
The dad walks up to her, touches her sleeve and goes:
"Well, it is now."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say g**... destroy the very fabric of society.....
Nonsense! No gay man would ever dream of destroying fabric.
[OC] What did the fabric say to the sewing machine?
You seam to keep things together around here.
I recently found out that my aunt is both a bigot and illiterate when...
she refused to shop at the local fabric store because they were having a sale, but it was only for muslins.
Did you hear about the time in someone fixed an attack helicopter with nothing but fabric?
It was apache fix at best
What are the five best fabrics of all time?
Think about it! Nylon, Nylon, Nylon, Nylon, and Nylon.
"That's a really nice dress you're wearing, what fabric is that?" "It's cotton."
"Wow, and here I am thinking it must be felt."
I can only wear clothes that have holes in the fabric
How else am I going to put my arms and legs through them?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Some people fear gay marriage will ruin the fabric of American society.
But no worries! The g**... will just put a towel down first.
Did you hear about the jeans manufacturing company that changed their product to pants made from one piece of fabric?
They made a seamless transition.
Did you hear Scotland is forming a new branch of their military?
They are calling it The Scotchgard. Its motto is "To protect the very fabric of our nation."
A lady walked into Bill Cosby's fabric store
She got felt.
What do you call a Dadaist fabric?
Man Rayon
Dad
Dad of three buys white fabric sofa.
