Fabric Jokes

50 fabric jokes and hilarious fabric puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fabric that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you need a good laugh? Check out this collection of funny fabric jokes— perfect for making your friends and family chuckle. From jokes about fabric softener to plush jokes and even jokes about upholstery and sandals, this list is sure to have everyone in stitches!

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Funniest Fabric Short Jokes

Short fabric jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fabric humour may include short cloth jokes also.

  1. I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener. Now her clothes don't fit.
  2. They say Gay marriage will ruin the fabric of society... ...which is ridiculous, a gay man would never ruin fabric.
  3. What do you call a seamstress who makes things up? A *fabric*ator.
    It was a slow day at work...
  4. My great grandad used to make fabric booths for clairvoyants and fortune tellers.. He was a con-tent creator.
  5. My friend told me he holds a world record in quilt making I suspect his whole story is fabricated.
  6. The police didn't believe me when I told them I found a flying carpet... They called the whole thing fabricated.
  7. What do the LGBT community and computers have in common? Most people over 50 are scared of them and think they are destroying the fabric of society!
  8. I thought my wife was going on a belgium holiday to buy chocolates. When she got back, I found out she'd actually been on holiday in Paris buying curtain materials. It was a fabrication.
  9. So my grandmother came up to me and asked me to cut a piece of fabric into strips for her. I asked her "What width?" She replied: "with scissors of course."
  10. What is the difference between a piece of fabric with elastic around the edges, designed to go on a bed, and an unexpected bout of diarrhea when wearing sandals? One is a fitted sheet...

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Fabric One Liners

Which fabric one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fabric? I can suggest the ones about craft and fiber.

  1. How do Muslim women get wrinkles off their faces? Fabric softener.
  2. What fabric is Mario's overalls? denim denim denim.
  3. Did you hear the joke about the false piece of cloth? It was fabricated.
  4. Did you hear about the new cult that worships fabrics? They're Satinists.
  5. Went to the hardwear store today... They could really use some fabric softener.
  6. what fabric softener do special ed kids use? Downy
  7. What did the fabric manufacturer name his two daughters? Poly and Esther
  8. Sure, you can borrow my black and white fabric Just don't make a habit out of it
  9. What's super marios favorite type of fabric? Denim denim denim.
  10. What is a communist's favorite fabric? Linen.
  11. What's Mario's favorite fabric?
    Denim, denim, denim.
  12. My mate is made completely out of matted wool fabric. He's felt better
  13. What type of fabric does communist Russia use? Lenin.
  14. What's a communists favorite fabric? Lenin
  15. What do you call a lie told by a T-Shirt? A fabrication

Fabric Softener Jokes

Here is a list of funny fabric softener jokes and even better fabric softener puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I lost a court case against a well known fabric softener company. Yes, I fought Lenor and Lenor won
  • What fabric softener is used on the uniforms at the Special Olympics? Downy
  • What's the best fabric Softener to use on a cat? Pounce...
Fabric joke, What's the best fabric Softener to use on a cat?

The Funniest Fabric Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about fabric you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean piece cloth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fabric pranks.

James Bond is laid off

James Bond is laid off and at the job center, there are only two jobs available, one in a call center and the other in a fabric coloring plant
"Huh, " said Bond, "you expect me to talk?"
"No Mr Bond, " replied the interviewer, "I expect you to dye. "

My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath,

"Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.

James Bond hits upon hard times and finds himself facing a job seeker interview...

James Bond hits upon hard times and finds himself facing a job seeker interview,
"Well Mr Bond we have two positions we can offer you, one is giving lectures to children on the benefits of a career in military intelligence, and the other is in the fabric staining department of a yarn mill. "
"Do you expect me to talk? "
"No, Mr Bond, I expect you to dye. "

I don't like Muslin Afghans and think people should stone them.

A good stonewash can make muslin fabric softer and more flexible which is better suited for afghans and blankets in general, otherwise just go with a soft acrylic yarn.

A daughter comes home and proudly shows off her new dress to her dad.

"Oh honey, that's a beautiful dress! What fabric is it? Is it felt?"
The girl looks confused and asks, "um, I don't know, why?"
The dad walks up to her, touches her sleeve and goes:
"Well, it is now."

They say g**... destroy the very fabric of society.....

Nonsense! No gay man would ever dream of destroying fabric.

Someone tried to steal my silk sheets and replace them with a cheaper fabric.

Not today, satin.
Not today.

[OC] What did the fabric say to the sewing machine?

You seam to keep things together around here.

I recently found out that my aunt is both a bigot and illiterate when...

she refused to shop at the local fabric store because they were having a sale, but it was only for muslins.

Did you hear about the time in someone fixed an attack helicopter with nothing but fabric?

It was apache fix at best

What are the five best fabrics of all time?

Think about it! Nylon, Nylon, Nylon, Nylon, and Nylon.

"That's a really nice dress you're wearing, what fabric is that?" "It's cotton."

"Wow, and here I am thinking it must be felt."

I can only wear clothes that have holes in the fabric

How else am I going to put my arms and legs through them?

What holds the fabric of spacetime together?


Fabric joke, What holds the fabric of spacetime together?

jokes about fabric