JokoJokes

Eyes Jokes

192 eyes jokes and hilarious eyes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eyes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready for a side-splitting set of jokes about eyes! From blue eyes to big eyes and bloodshot eyes, have a laugh over the hilarious quips involving all things ocular. Whether you have bags under your eyes, are a four eyes, or just find yourself with cross eyes, these jokes will have you staring with delight!

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Funniest Eyes Short Jokes

Short eyes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eyes humour may include short optic jokes also.

  1. As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said Y'know, one would have been enough.
  2. I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes... But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle
  3. A Tibetan monk sees the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine. He raises his eyes to the heavens and exclaims "I can't believe it's not Buddha!"
  4. I took an epileptic girl to a rave I jokingly told her, "I hear this place has rave reviews", but she just rolled her eyes at me.
  5. What is something with 8 eyes, 8 leg, and 8 hands? 8 pirates
    My little brother told me this joke and I am so proud of him.
  6. China has now banned any military personnel to use apple watches due to security reasons. One soldier says with tears in his eyes but but my daughter made it for me .
  7. My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce.... We didn't see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.
  8. If you have a bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
  9. There's a way of telling if an orange is male or female… If it squirts you in your eye without warning, it's a male.
    If it's bitter for no apparent reason, it's a female.
  10. Patient says, "Doctor I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea" Doctor says, "Take the spoon out of your mug"

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Eyes One Liners

Which eyes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eyes? I can suggest the ones about eyed and vision.

  1. I can cut down a tree just by looking at it It's true, I saw it with my own eyes
  2. You know what has 8 legs 8 hands and 8 eyes? 8 Pirates
  3. "You want to see a pig with three eyes?" A piiig
  4. What do you call a spider with 20 eyes? Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider
  5. You'll never believe who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor! Everybody.
  6. My girlfriend poked me in the eyes... So unfortunately I stopped seeing her for a while.
  7. I can cut wood by staring at it. I saw it with my own eyes.
  8. I have 3 eyes, 6 heads and 15 limbs, what am I? A liar.
  9. You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days? It's the mask era.
  10. Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils.
  11. I have the heart of a lion, the eyes of an eagle... ..and a lifetime ban from the zoo. 😕
  12. There was a cross-eyed teacher who got fired Because she couldnt control her pupils.
  13. What kind of eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie? That's a Moray.
  14. Why did the anime girl eat too much? Because her eyes were bigger than her stomach.
  15. It's true, I can cut a piece of wood just by staring at it I saw it with my own eyes

Rolling Eyes Jokes

Here is a list of funny rolling eyes jokes and even better rolling eyes puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • "It's a boy", David shouted, "It's a BOY!" With tears rolling down his eyes, David came running out of the room. And never visited Bangkok again.
  • What's chocolate's preferred pronouns? Her/she
    I got an eye roll from the wife on this one. I guess that's the dad joke seal of approval.
  • My wife really wanted a dog, so I bought her a pug. Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, the dog really seems to like her.
  • "Son, do you know what the opposite of ladyfingers is?" "No dad," I say rolling my eyes.
    "Mentos."
  • Bad puns That's how eye roll.
  • "Its a boy", he shouted. "It's a BOY! I still can't believe it! Tears rolling down his eyes, swearing never to come back to Thailand again.
  • Why are eye jokes worse than toe jokes? Because toe jokes may be cheesy, but eye jokes are cornea.
  • Was grilling burgers and asked the wife if she wanted toasted buns She said yes. I said, well go stand by a fire… I could just about hear the eye roll.
  • Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.
  • My 1 year old was eating dinner and his runny nose got on his food. My wife goes: "uh, yea the snot really makes it"
    I replied: "A little sneezoning."
    I don't think I've seen her eyes roll so hard.

Big Eyes Jokes

Here is a list of funny big eyes jokes and even better big eyes puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I call my wife Bambi and she thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes... Actually, it's because I shot her mother with a hunting rifle...
  • I call my wife Bambi, she thinks it's because she is cute with big brown eyes. But in reality I just hope someone shoots her mother with a hunting rifle.
  • How can you tell what kind of eel you're looking at? Well, if the moon hits it's eye like a big pizza pie, it's a moray.
  • I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she is so cute, with big brown eyes. Actually, it's because I would like someone to shoot her mother, with a hunting rifle.
  • Trump's ego is so big... Trump's ego is so big that when he bangs a super-model, he closes his eyes and imagines he's jerking off.
    -Seth Macfarlane, CC Roast of Trump
  • Why are ET's eyes so big? He got the phone bill
  • I said "My, what big eyes you have!" Followed by "My, what big hands you have!"
    And then "My what big teeth you have!"
    My charity gig for children with disabilities did not start out well.
  • They were so round, big, and beautiful - I just had to touch them! And then she said, "OW! My eyes!"
  • I went up to this fat bird in the pub last night... "You're a big lass, aren't you?" I said.
    "Tell me something I don't know," she replied with a tear in her eye.
    "Salad tastes nice."
  • A private eye recounts one of the cases he's worked in: "From the moment I saw her outside my office window, I knew she was in big trouble." "Mainly because my office was located on the 7th floor."
Eyes joke, A private eye recounts one of the cases he's worked in: "From the moment I saw her outside my office

Blue Eyes Jokes

Here is a list of funny blue eyes jokes and even better blue eyes puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Regretting the compliment... A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"
  • Interviewer: What's your strength? Candidate: I fall in love easily.
    Interviewer: What's your weakness?
    Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.
  • I have blue eyes. I got them from my father. My mother has black eyes. She also got them from my father.
  • What do you call several blonde hair blue-eyed men doing the 100 meter dash? The superior race
  • My kid damaged my iphone so I am giving it away He is 3 years old, blue eyes, blue hair...
  • A son and a dad are talking Son: Why is the sky blue?
    Dad: The same reason your eyes are blue.
    Son: So the sky slept with the postman?
  • A man walks into an interview Interviewer: what are your strengths?
    Man: I fall in love easily
    Interviewer: okay… what are your weaknesses?
    Man: That beautiful blue of your eyes
  • My biology teacher said there is no evolutionary advantage to blue eyes. She must have never heard of the holocaust.
  • What do you call a blue-eyed blonde that doesn't eat meat? A vegetaryan
  • What did the Asian man say to his wife when the hospital nursery tried to send them home with a blonde hair, blue-eye baby? Hmmm... two Wongs don't make a white.

Eyes Watering Jokes

Here is a list of funny eyes watering jokes and even better eyes watering puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What will happen if you take out an eye from a waiter? He will become water.
  • Your eyes water when you yawn, Because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.
  • My Memory is like a Goldfish. Like a Goldfish, all my memories start with water in front of my eyes.
    Just some aqueous humor for you guys.
  • Q: How can you tell when you've passed an elephant? A: Your eyes are watering and you can't get the seat to go down.
  • Did you hear about Harvey Weinsteins new job? He'll water your plants for direct eye contact.
  • Why did 2 fish bump into each other? Because water came into their eyes.
  • Asian's pets Asian's eyes don't water when their pets die, their mouths do.
  • Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
  • black guy drank too much water and the black eyed peas
  • Hey- ZigZag- What causes dry eyes? Ducts out of water ...

Cross Eyes Jokes

Here is a list of funny cross eyes jokes and even better cross eyes puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I had to break up with my cross-eyed girlfriend... Apparently, she was seeing someone else on the side.
  • I had to dump my cross eyed girlfriend I think she was seeing someone else
  • I used to date a cross-eyed girl. I stopped when I found out she was seeing someone on the side.
  • I had to break up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today. She was seeing other people.
  • I broke up with this cross eyed girl... I thought she was seeing someone else.
  • I once dumped a cross eyed girl... ...thought she was seeing someone else.
  • Why did the cross-eyed teacher get fired? She didn't have control of her pupils
  • I broke up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today Turns out she was seeing someone on the side
  • I broke up with my cross-eyed girlfriend. We weren't seeing eye-to-eye and she was seeing some dude on the side.
  • I have a cross eyed friend who just got diagnosed with depression. Makes sense because he never looks forward to anything.
Eyes joke, I have a cross eyed friend who just got diagnosed with depression.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about eyes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of eyes puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Howlingly Hilarious Eyes Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about eyes you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean iris jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make eyes prank.

A boy and his dad are talking.

"Hey Dad."
"Yes son?"
"Did you ever get shot in the army?"
He looks at his son in silence. Tears start to form in the Dad's eyes, and he quietly replies;
"No, but I was shot in the leggy."

I just had a near s**... experience.

My wife flashed before my eyes.

What has 12 hands, 12 legs, and 12 eyes?

12 pirates.

Eyes

Two men are sitting in a bar, talking to eachother. One asks the other if he ever looks his wife in the eyes while making love. "I did once" the other responds, "But I saw a lot of anger in her eyes". The first, looking confused: "Why was that?"
"Because she was looking from outside through the window!"

Funniest joke of all time...according to Wikipedia...thought I share.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"[

A married couple of 20 years are lying in bed

The man rolled over and said to his wife, "Hey, honey, I have a hard on that I just can't get rid of. Think you wanna help?"
The wife turned around and stripped n**....
The husband then rolled back over, closed his eyes, and said, "thanks, honey, that did the trick!"

LPT: How to pick up girls

Try this:
1. Acquire several dozen limes.
1. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
1. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
1. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
1. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
1. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, "Sorry, I'm bad at Pickup Limes."

I don't use pepper spray when I'm being robbed

I just open my wallet and blow the dust into their eyes.

My girlfriend's sister invited me to have s**... with her today...

My girlfriend's sister invited me to have s**... with her today while we were waiting for my girlfriend to get home. I didn't say anything and started to walk to my car. As I opened the door, my girlfriend came out from the kitchen and hugged me with tears in her eyes as she told me that it was a test of loyalty and I had passed!
Moral of the story: keep your condoms in your car

John Snow.

John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.
-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?
John laughs and continues with his drink.
-Why is this funny?
John responds,
-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...

As I looked into her eyes I felt my knees go weak and my stomach turned to butterflies.

That's when I realized I'd drugged the wrong glass.

A horse walks into a bar

A horse walks into a bar and says "bartender, scotch on the rocks please!"
The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says "did.. did you just talk?!"
"Yes I have, why?" Said the horse
"It's just, incredible! I've never seen a talking horse! You know, you should really go talk to the local circus, they would LOVE to have someone with your skills!"
The horse replied "why? Are they short on electricians?"

Peter is different

A couple have 13 children, 12 of them are blonde and have blue eyes, 1 has black hair and brown eyes, his name is Peter. One day the wife of the couple is dying of illness, her husband is sitting on her bed. The husband says "Our Peter is different from the other kids, does he have a different father?" His wife says yes. And, the man says, "Then, who is his dad?" Upon which his wife says, "You".

A girl takes a black guy home.

At the end of a night out on the town, a girl takes a black guy back to her house.
They're kissing and moving towards her bedroom when she looks at him with the most flirtatious eyes she can muster and says: "Is it true what they say about black guys? ;)"
To which the man responded "Of course it is baby.", stabbed her, stole her wallet and left.

A female nudist calls for a taxi

The taxi stops and the driver scans her from head to toe, with big bold eyes.
At this the nudist erupts: Haven't you seen a n**... girl before?
Driver : It's not about that, I'm just wondering where have you kept the money to pay me..

A husband asks his wife...

Husband: Darling, if I lost my vision would you be my eyes?
Wife: Honey, of course I would.
Husband: If I lost my hearing would you be my ears?
Wife: Absolutely sweetheart.
Husband: If I lost my legs would you push me around in a wheelchair?
Wife: You don't need to ask. Why all the questions?
Husband: I just sprained my wrist...

TIL that black eyes are hereditary

You get them from your father if you drink his last beer.

A student comes to a young professor's office hours...

She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "I would do... anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
"Anything."
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"

Two hunters are out in the woods when one collapses...

He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "I think my friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

What's got two eyes, but can't see, two wings, but can't fly, and two legs, but can't walk?

A dead bird.

Some people have difficulties sleeping...

but I can do it with my eyes closed.

Hillary Clinton has a seizure during the debate...

"Mrs. Clinton," the Moderator asks, "What is your plan to lower the national debt?"
Suddenly, Hillary flails her arms around, rolls her eyes wildly, foams at the mouth, and gibbers incoherently for several awkward minutes. Finally, she collapses in a heap and soils herself.
"Hey!" Trump interrupts, "Is she allowed to just steal my answer like that??"

Give me a compliment.

A woman looks into the mirror and says to her husband: "I feel fat, old and ugly, give me a compliment". The man replies: "Your eyes are still working great".

My wife recommended I do some light reading to relax at the end of the day...

Not really relaxing, as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out, "60 Watts - Made in China."

Throwing acid is wrong...

...in some people's eyes.

At the pharmacy I asked for 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing.

I turned around, looked them straight in the eyes and said, "Make that 52."

Two men are golfing at a local golf course

The first man is about to putt when he sees a long f**... procession right near the course. He stops mid-putt, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in prayer.
The second man is in awe. "Wow, that is the most touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years."

Went to a n**... beach today and let me tell you- I had a lot of women's attention.

I could just feel them dressing me with their eyes.

My girlfriend left me 6 weeks ago because she thinks I'm immature. Now I'm all alone on Christmas day and crying my eyes out

because Santa didn't come.

What does it mean when a man looks deep into your eyes?

it means that you are flat chested.

I found my son hanging from a rope in his bedroom.

On the floor was a note saying, "I can't stand the critism anymore."
I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breathe.
As he lay in my arms I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."

The police officer holds up a photo and asks a man; "is this your wife?"

The man looks at the photo and answers; "Yes that is her."
The police officer looks the man in the eyes and calmly exclaims; "I am afraid it looks as though your wife has been hit by a train."
The man replies; "Yes, officer, but she is kind and makes great food for me."

Two men are playing golf. One of them is about to take a swing when a f**... procession appears on the road next to the course. He stops mid-swing, takes off his cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in respect.

His golfing buddy says "That must be the most touching thing I've ever seen. You are a very compassionate and kind man."
The man, recovering himself, replies, "Yeah, well we were married 25 years."

I went to a pharmacy and asked for 50 condoms.

There were 2 girls behind me who started laughing. I turned around and looked them straight in the eyes and said, "make that 52".
.
.
.
.
.
.
Now both of them have c**... balloons :D

After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting...

"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"
Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time"

Best son ever

5 year old son after reading a story of a king
Son : mom, I also want 3 wives, one will bathe , one will cook and one will sing
Mom : which one will put you to sleep?
Son: no mom, I will still sleep with you. Mom's eyes filled up with tears... God bless you son
Mom : who will the 3 wives sleep with?
Son : let them sleep with daddy
Daddy's eyes filled with tears... God bless you son

A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet.

'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'.
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy'.

Why do CSGO terrorists hate the desert?

Because they don't want de dust 2 get in their eyes.

So, Jesus is going over the bill for the Last Supper...

So Jesus is going over the bill for the Last Supper when the apostles notice he has closed his eyes, and is rubbing the bridge of his nose. Exasperated, he asks: "Why... WHY would anyone order wine?"

Watching my wedding video in reverse brought tears to my eyes

I took off her wedding ring, returned her to her dad, and moonwalked my way out of the church.

My girlfriend looked at me with her s**... eyes and said, "I want you to make me scream with your two fingers baby"

.... so I poked her in the eyes.

A cute girl winked at me

She must be extra interested because she winked with both eyes.

Just saw a man slumped over a lawn mower crying his eyes out.

He said he'll be fine, he's just going through a rough patch.

Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.

Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.
Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.
Einstein says Newton, you're terrible, I've found you! Newton says No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!

Brought a girl home from a bar last night and after we went down on each other for a while I slipped on a c**.... Suddenly, she looked me dead in the eyes and demanded either forty more minutes of foreplay, or that I drop down and give her 100 pushups. When I asked why she said

"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."

A son was arguing with his dad, insisting that 1+1 equals 11

The father then looked at his son's eyes and said:
-Right, then go and buy 2 popsicles!
His son then goes and buys 2 popsicles.
Then, his dad said:
-Now give me one and the other to your brother!
Son asks:
-What about mine?
Father answers:
-You can have the other nine left over, stubborn kid!

The man came home early from work to find his wife lying n**... on the bed, crying her eyes out.

What's wrong? he asked.
I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she
sobbed.
Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that
he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice
pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi
there Tom, the green silk gown…

I can cut wood using just my eyes

It is true, I saw it with my own eyes

When Mary had a baby boy, the wise men weren't surprised...

...but you should have seen their eyes when she had the little lamb.

As I looked into her eyes across the candlelit table, I felt my knees go weak, my heart began to race and my stomach turned to butterflies...

That's when I realized I drugged the wrong glass!

I don't mind the Chinese students in my Math class being really good at the subject

But I must say, it's pretty c**... of them to do the problems with their eyes closed.

What has 6 eyes, 16 tentacles and quacks like a duck?

I don't know either but it's in my kitchen please help.

Wife: "Why are the dishes still in the sink?"

Husband: "Because if I let them soak for long enough, getting them clean will be effortless.
 
\**Wife rolls eyes*\*
 
Wife: "Oh forget it. I'll do it myself."
 
\**Wife goes to wash the dishes*\*
 
Husband (under his breath): "See? Effortless."

What do you call a pig with three eyes?

A piiig

A cop just stopped me for jaywalking and then tasered me after exchanging a few words...

Police: Turn around.
Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round...
Police: TURN AROUND!!
Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ev--AHHHHHH!

I can cut a piece of wood in half by only looking at it

It's true, I saw it with my own eyes

Happy father's day!

5 year old son after reading story of a king says to his mom:
Son: Mom, I also want 3 wives... one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me
Mom: And which one will put you to sleep
Son: No mom, i will still sleep with you
Mom's eyes filled up with tears.
Mom: God bless you son. But who will sleep with your 3 wives?
Son: Let them sleep with daddy.
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son !
Happy Father's day!

I before E, except after C.

We ***feign agreeing***, but this ***foreign poltergeist*** of a rule is ***neither efficient*** nor smart- and ***therein*** lies the ***height*** of the issue. It's as if an ***ancient deity*** has influenced the ***zeitgeist*** of the people. We must remove the ***weight*** of this ***veil*** from ***their*** eyes, and ***forfeit*** the ***leisure*** of this ***weird*** and ***heinous*** rule from our ***science*** and ***leisure*** alike.

I looked her square in the eyes and said, "s**... isn't real, right? It's just u**..., right?"

"I meant any questions about the job." the interviewer sighed.

Two men on a train both have black eyes.

Man 1: "how did you get that black eye?"
Man 2: "I was buying my ticket from this beautiful b**... girl and instead of saying 'a ticket to Pittsburgh' I accidentally said I wanted 'a picket to Tittsburgh' so she hit me. How about you?"
Man 1: "Yeah, something similar happened to me. I was sitting around having breakfast with my wife and I meant to say 'pass the wheaties' and I accidentally said 'you ruined my life you s**... b**...'."

My mom opened the door and caught me m**....

I looked straight into her eyes and said "shut the door!"
Her face turned all red and she yelled at me "get inside!!!"

Even though my girlfriend is addicted to m**..., I still love her.

She's so beautiful. Those lips, those eyes, that tooth.

I bought a pug for my wife.

Despite the bulging eyes, wrinkles and layers of fat, the pug seemed to like her.

A mp3 hits your ears a mp4 hits your eyes

An mp5 hits your vital organs.

My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he said something with a weak voice, "There's something I must confess."

"Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is alright."
"No, I must die in peace" he said, "I had s**... with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker."
"I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you... Now close your eyes."

I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a customer with her barcode reader for being rude.

The look on his face was priceless.

A husband died

A husband died.
A few years later, his wife died.
As she got to heaven she saw her husband and ran up to him with tears in her eyes.
"Darling, oh how I've missed you!"
The husband extends his arms, stopping her from embracing him and says,
"Woah there woman. The contract was until death."

3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp

One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!
"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!
"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.
And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of him!
"I wish for a meat shower!" The second dinosaur said.
And so the genie made all different sorts of meats from different animals rain from a small cloud above the dinosaur's head.
Not wanting to be outdone by his friends the third dinosaur quickly tries to think of something better.
"I wish for a meatier shower!"

I can cut a piece of wood in two pieces just by looking at it.

It may seem impossible, but I saw it with my own two eyes

Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.

It's Einstein's turn. He counts till ten and opens up his eyes.
Pascal is nowhere to be seen.
Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein with a chalk in his hand. He's sitting on a box he's drawn, one metre a side.
Einstein: Newton you're terrible, I can see you!
Newton: No No Einy, you've found one Newton per square metre. You've found Pascal!

Eyes joke, Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.

jokes about eyes

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these eyes jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.