Eyelids Jokes
29 eyelids jokes and hilarious eyelids puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eyelids that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Eyelids Short Jokes
Short eyelids jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eyelids humour may include short eyebrows jokes also.
- Did you hear about the kid born w/o an eyelid? When they circumcised him, they used the extra skin to fix his eyelid.
The procedure went fine, he's a little cockeyed now though... - Ben was born without eyelids So they circumcised him and used the skin.
The operation was a success, he's just a little cockeyed. - I fell asleep in biology class today... The teacher woke me up and I casually told him that I was studying my inner eyelid.
- My friend got bit by a spider on his eyelid last week. Just wanted to share that on this website.
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Eyelids One Liners
Which eyelids one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eyelids? I can suggest the ones about eye socket and eye related.
- I just heard a speech on how to use your eyelids It really opened my eyes
- I bought my wife some lashes made of bread. She didn't baton eyelid.
- How do people with no eyelids sleep? Lightly
- Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
- How does a cyclops blink? With his eyelid d**....
Comical Eyelids Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about eyelids you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean eye bags jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eyelids pranks.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Born without eyelids.
Last week a little boy was born at the hospital without any eyelids. Puzzled the doctors didn't know what to make of it. In a snap of genius, when they circumcised the boy they also replaced his missing eyelids. Only problem is now he's c**...-eyed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the kid born without eyelids?
Yeah, apparently a baby boy was born without eyelids just last week! Obviously that was a problem and the child's sight wouldn't last long unless the doctors acted quick, so they decided to take a skin graft from the boy and use it to protect his eyes. The most logical solution for the quick thinking doctor was to use the child's f**..., since he would probably be circumcised anyways.
Those are about all the details I know from the story, but I guess the baby is doing ok. The doctor said he would be fine, and should keep his eyesight, he just might end up a little c**...-eyed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young burn victim gets new eyelids made from his f**...!
Doctors say he will be a little cockeyed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
(AP) New York - A baby delivered without eyelids had surgery today at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan, NY. Doctors successfully removed the child's f**... and were able to use the tissue to successfully form eyelids. Doctors said the child will be fine.
Just a little cockeyed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A l**... is sitting at a lunch counter eating soup.
Suddenly the tip of his nose falls off, *plunk*, right in his bowl. Yet he keeps on eating.
The guy to his right starts gagging.
Then one of the l**...'s eyelids falls off, *plunk*. Again he goes on slurping.
The guy on his left starts dry heaving.
Suddenly the l**... stops and says, "I'm sorry gentlemen, am I making you sick by eating here?"
"It's not that," replies one of the fellows. "It's the guy behind you dipping chips in your back!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My niece was born with no eyelids, bless her heart, but the doctors were able to replace them with surgically removed f**......
Only side effect is she's a little c**...-eyed now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Cutting-edge medical procedure
A new father was overjoyed to learn that his wife had just given birth to their first child: a son. However, the doctors informed the couple that their baby boy suffered from a rare but serious birth defect: the child had no eyelids. He had been born perfectly healthy in every other way, but lacked eyelids.
"All hope is not lost, however," the chief resident said. "The muscles and connective tissue appear to be normal, he just lacks the mucous membrane. If we circumcise your little one, we should be able to graft that tissue onto the place where his eyelids should be, and he can live a relatively normal life."
"Ok," the father said after discussing it with his wife,"go ahead and see what you can do for him."
The operation was a resounding success; the baby was blinking normally within a week.
The only problem was that the child ultimately grew up to be c**...-eyed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I work in a hospital.
The neonatal intensive care unit is one of the toughest places to work. Rooms full of babies who were born too early and/or far too sick. It's really sad what you see.
One of the worst cases I ever saw, a baby was born with no eyelids. A very rare case that happens to 1 in every 500,000 kids. It took days for doctors to figure out what to do.
Finally, they decided to transfer f**... to the face to act as eye lids. Amazingly, it worked.
The kid turned out just fine, he's just a little c**...-eyed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A baby boy born without eyelids...
Recently at a baby boy was born prematurely without eyelids. The doctors decided to take him off to surgery and circumcise him and use the skin removed to make new eyelids.
The surgery went great except he came out a little cocked eyed...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A baby boy is born without eyelids
A baby boy is born without eyelids. The parents are distraught, asking the doctor what can be done. "There's a procedure, experimental, but successful in all cases," the doctor explains. "The procedure involves using the f**... removed during circumcision, and using it as the eyelids." "Why, that's wonderful!" exclaims the father. "The tissue actually seems to be quite similar" he ponders.
It seems a perfect procedure.. "But doc," asks the mother, "are there any side effects?
Breathing a heavy sigh, the doctor explains, "Why yes. Your son will be a bit c**...-eyed."
A kid was born without eyelids.
Don't worry the doctor assured the father.
When we circumcise him we will use the skin to make him new eyelids. After the procedure the father is with the doctor. Well what do you think of the procedure? asks the doctor. I don't know? Does he look a little cockeyed to you?
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Doctor: So your child was born without eyelids.
Mother: Well isn't there anything you can do?
Doctor: Yes, when we circumcise him we can take that excess skin and make him eye lids.
Mother: Will he be okay?
Doctor: Yeah, he will be fine, just be a little c**...-eyed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was born without eyelids, so they created them from my f**......
Now I'm a little c**...-eyed.
My dad has a lazy eye and tells this joke when someone asks about it.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had to have f**... removed when I was thirteen
My sister was born with no eyelids and the doctor suggested making them out of f**....
Worked awesome, she can blink and wink normally. Only thing is that she is a bit cockeyed...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to the doctors to get his first son circumcised...
A man goes to the doctors to get his first son circumcised. He meets with a pediatrician who says "ya know we used to use the f**... from the circumcision to do skin transplants for kids born without eyelids... But we had to stop because they started coming out cockeyed"
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When I was circumcised they accidentally took a little extra off.
They ended up using it as skin grafts for a pair of twin's eyelids.
Now I'm getting sued by the parents because they're a little c**...-eyed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
*n**...* Went to school with a kid who had no eyelids.
They used his f**... to make eyelids.
He could see fine, he was just a little cockeyed.
^I'll ^see ^myself ^out.
A jewish woman goes to the hospital to give birth to her son.
Unfortunately the baby boy is born without eyelids.
The jewish woman is hysterical and says: Doctor, doctor what am i going to do? My baby boy has no eyelids!
The doctor calmly replies: Missus Levine, don't worry your son is going to be circumcised so we can do a transplant and give him eyelids.
Missus Levine says: Doctor, doctor but I don't want a son that's gonna be cockeyed!
Doctor replies: But Missus Levine imagine what foresight he'll have!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the boy born with no eyelids?
They used the skin from his circumcision to make his new eyelids.
The doctor said he made it through the surgery fine, but may end up a little cockeyed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Medical science has come a long way.
There's a tribe in Africa whose exposure to chemical runoff in the water from local mines created birth defects. One out of every three children are born with no eyelids. Volunteer doctors created a procedure where they take the f**... from new born males and create eyelids for those born without them. The procedure has been highly successful, although the children do look a little cockeyed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to attract women:
My friend keeps complaining that he can't attract women. I told him "Why don't you try a s**... look...like lowering your eyelids and biting your lip?"
My friend takes the advice and runs off. He comes back complaining "I TRIED YOUR SUGGESTION AND THE GIRLS KEPT RUNNING AWAY SCREAMING!"
"Hmmm... can you show me what you were doing?"
Friend bites his lip and squints his eyes.
"AH! I see the problem...next time try biting your LOWER lip..."
