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Eyebrows Jokes

95 eyebrows jokes and hilarious eyebrows puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eyebrows that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh until your face hurts with these hilarious eyebrows jokes! From eyebrows thicker than a forehead to eyes looking like they've been spaced too far apart, these jokes will have you asking "why did I even ask for this?" Read on to find out why people are so obsessed with eyebrows.

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Funniest Eyebrows Short Jokes

Short eyebrows jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eyebrows humour may include short eyelids jokes also.

  1. I told my wife she'd painted her eyebrows too high this morning I don't know if she agreed but she seemed surprised
  2. My wife has been penciling in her eyebrows lately… I think that she draws them a little high, so I told her. She just looked at me surprised
  3. I had a friend who used to draw on her eyebrows. One day, she accidentally drew them to high. When I told her, she looked surprised.
  4. I told this girl I was seeing she had drawn her eyebrows on too high She looked very surprised
  5. they asked a 100year old grandpa why were all the women still crazy about him? grandpa said nothing! just gently licked his eyebrow
  6. Cosmetic surgery used to be such a sensitive subject. But now when you make jokes about botox, nobody lifts an eyebrow.
  7. I told the lady at the grocery store that she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
  8. I was on a date. "How many ladies have you slept with?" she said.
    I said, "Do you want me to round it to the nearest 10?"
    She raised her eyebrows and said, "OK..."
    I said, "Zero."
  9. I saw a woman in the supermarket pick up her kids by the hair Certainly raised a few eyebrows
  10. My girlfriend started crying because I called her fake So I wiped away her tears and accidentally her eyebrows too

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Eyebrows One Liners

Which eyebrows one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eyebrows? I can suggest the ones about big eyes and eye bags.

  1. I told my wife she was applying her eyebrows too high She looked surprised.
  2. I told a girl at work she drew on her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
  3. I told a girl she had drawn her eyebrows on too high... She looked surprised.
  4. I told my friend she drew her eyebrows on too high... She seemed surprised.
  5. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
  6. I told my girlfriend she painted her eyebrows on too high... She looked surprised!
  7. I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows too high... She looked surprised.
  8. What do you call it when you're shopping for new eyebrows? Browsing.
  9. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows on too high She looked surprised
  10. Don’t worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows.
  11. I told my wife she'd painted her eyebrows too high this morning she looked surprised
  12. I told my gf she drew her eyebrows too high She looked surprised
  13. I told my sister she'd drawn her eyebrows on too high she looked suprised
  14. When is one bigger than two? Eyebrows.
  15. Surprised. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.
    She seemed surprised.

Eyebrows Up Jokes

Here is a list of funny eyebrows up jokes and even better eyebrows up puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high She told me she's tired of my repost BS and divorced me. It was definitely a surprise.
  • My friend's eyebrows I told my friend she draws her eyebrows too high.
    She looked surprised.
  • I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows way too high You should have seen the surprised look on her face
  • I said to my wife that she was drawing her eyebrows on too high... ...she looked surprised.
  • Remember when talking about plastic surgery was considered a forbidden subject? Now you can talk about Botox at a restaurant, and nobody will raise an eyebrow.
  • I told my ex that she had drawn her eyebrows on too low today She just scowled at me the entire time
  • I told the cashier that her eyebrows were drawn too high I guess she didn't realize because she seemed pretty surprised.
  • When my wife was putting on her makeup, I told her that she had put too much arch in her eyebrows. She looked surprised.
  • I made a very tasteless joke at an alopecia convention... ...fortunately it didn't raise any eyebrows.
  • Bank Teller: "Sir, your account is overdrawn." Me: "So are your eyebrows, but you made it work, didn't you?"

Eyebrows Like A Jokes

Here is a list of funny eyebrows like a jokes and even better eyebrows like a puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Bassists are like eyebrows You dont notice them until they're gone
  • Having bushy eyebrows are like dating twins... ...if you stop paying attention to them they'll touch eachother.
  • A son comes to his grandpa.. ... And asks him "Grandpa, how comes all girls still like you?"
    "Eh, eh, my lil' son...", said the old man l**... his eyebrow
Eyebrows joke, A son comes to his grandpa..

Drawn On Eyebrows Jokes

Here is a list of funny drawn on eyebrows jokes and even better drawn on eyebrows puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I said to my wife; "You've drawn your eyebrows too high." She looked really surprised!
  • My wife was putting her makeup on... I commented that she had drawn her eyebrows a little high.
    She looked surprised.
Eyebrows joke, My wife was putting her makeup on...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about eyebrows can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of eyebrows puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Laughter Eyebrows Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about eyebrows you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean eye popping jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make eyebrows prank.

Dating in 1962

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"
"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.
"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.
"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."
"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.
"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"
"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.
"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.
"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.
"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The d**... dance is called the Twist!

A hobo got robbed

A hobo had been robbed and beaten into unconciousnes.
When he woke up he checked about his person for damages and missing items, and found that all injuries were superficial but he had lost all his belongings.
He stormed into the nearest police station.
"I want to report a robbery! all my 53 belongings have been stolen from me!"
"How can you be so sure about the number of the stolen items?" the officer asks sceptically with a raised eyebrow.
"It was a deck of cards and a bottle opener!"

Three men died on Christmas Eve...

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It's a candle", he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.
The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."
Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".
The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's p**....
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The p**... replied, "These are Carols".

Vow of Silence

Chap decides to to join a monastery. As a novice he is only allowed to speak two words to the prior, once every 7 years.
The first seven years go by and he whispers, "Cold floors..."
The next seven years go by and he whispers, "Bad food..."
Seven more years go by and he croaks, "I quit!"
The prior raises his eyebrows and replies, "I'm not surprised. You've done nothing but complain since you joined."

One soldier

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

Two functions walk down the street

Two functions walk down the street, 5 and e^x. They see Derivative walking towards them. 5 freaks out, screaming Oh no! Oh no! Derivative is going to come up and operate on me, and then I'll be zero - Oh no!! e^x smugly walks up to Derivative and says, Ha! I'm e^x. You can operate on me all you want and I'll still be e^x. You can't touch me. Derivative looks up, raises an eyebrow, and responds, Oh yeah? I'm partial, with respect to Y.

It's Christmas time at the Pearly Gates..

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
'In honour of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.
He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates'
Saint Peter said.
The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.
He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said
'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally
pulled out a pair of women's p**....
St. Peter looked at the man
with a raised eyebrow and asked,
'And just what do those symbolize?'
The p**... replied, 'These are Carols.'

The eyebrows agree that they deserve a raise

The eyebrows agree that they deserve a raise.
They say to the man, "hey, we've done exactly what you've asked for years with little compensation. We deserve a raise!"
The man looked surprised.
The eyebrows said, "Thank you."

blond joke

A blonde went into an internet cafe to send a message to her mother overseas.
When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "I don't have any money, but I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."
The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).
"Anything?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.
Well, then, "Just follow me" said the man as he walked towards the next room. The blonde did as she was told and followed the man. "Come in and close the door" the man said. She did.
He then said "Now get on your knees."
She did.
"Now take down my zipper."
She did.
"Now go ahead ... Take it out....." He said.
She reached in and grabbed it with both hands. Then paused.

The man closed his eyes and whispered .."Well ... Go ahead."
The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, .... tentatively said .... "Hello. Mum, can you hear me?"

A good, short oldie to end your Monday

A professor is working in his office during his open hours. It's only a week away from the final exam, so he thinks nothing when one his students comes in. That is, until he sees she's in a short skirt, a low cut top, and closes the door behind her.
She quickly takes a seat and leans over the desk, saying, "Professor, I *really* need to pass this class. If I pass this exam, I'll pass the class, so I really need your help. It's very important to me. I mean, I would do *anything* to pass this exam."
She reaches out and touches the professor's hand lightly. The professor raises an eyebrow and glances at the closed door. He clears his t**... and leans in.
"Anything?" he asks.
"Anything," she nods.
He takes in a deep breath and then asks, "Would you . . . study?"

A commissar goes to a collective farm...

... And hails a farmer to ask about how his village's farms are doing.
The farmer says "Oh Comrade Commissar, if we stacked all the potatoes in a pile, it would reach the foot of God!"
The commissar raises an eyebrow and says "Comrade farmer, we live in the USSR. There is no god."
The farmer replied: "That's okay, there are no potatoes either."

A joke I heard some time ago

A texan man is driving over the Mexican border with his family. The border guard looks out his booth and notices the jam-packed pickup truck with trailer.
Raising an eyebrow he asks the man: "Planning a longer stay, sir?"
"We're emigrating." the man replies.
Visibly surprised the guard asks: "Why's that?"
The man responds: "Thirty years ago homosexuality was despised. Twenty years ago it became tolerated. Ten ago it was widely accepted. This year it became equal. We're leaving before it becomes mandatory."

Husband Wanted

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again.

She put an ad in the local paper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70s),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day, she heard the doorbell.
Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair.
He had no arms or legs.
The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you ... you have no legs!
The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!'
She snorted. 'You don't have any arms either!'
Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I can never beat you!'
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, 'Are you still good in bed???'
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said,
'Rang the doorbell, didn't I?'

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.


'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.
The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's p**....
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'
The Irishman replied, 'These are Carol's'
And So The Christmas Season begins......and I sure hope the jokes get better.

n**... sunbathing....

A man was sunbathing n**... at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."
He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly, it would lift itself."

My friend s**... her eyebrows and has been drawing them on. Lately, she's been drawing them too high.

When I told her, she looked surprised.

When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a t**... subject...

These days if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow.

2 year old son spits on the floor.

Wife: We don't spit. If it's in your mouth you s**... it.
Husband raises eyebrows.
Wife: You shut up!

A man brings his 12 year old daughter to the doctor.

He tells the doctor he needs birth control for his daughter.
Raising his eyebrows the doctor replies "Is your daughter s**... active?"
The man replies, "s**... active? No. She usually just lays there and cries."

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a t**... subject.

Now when you talk about botox no one raises an eyebrow

Remeber when plastic surgery was a t**... subject?

Now you mention botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

Plastic surgery used to be such a t**... subject...

Nowadays if you talk about Botox nobody raises an eyebrow.

A guy notices a crowd of women at the end of the bar

Curious, he walks toward the end and sees an immensely ugly guy being hit on by several ladies. He sits next to another fella and asks "So, what's this guy's deal? Is he rich or famous?" "Dunno," says the other guy, "he just sits there l**... his eyebrows."

A guy goes into a bar for a drink

He orders a beer and a beautiful woman walks up to him and says, "hey, for $300 bucks I'll do anything you want . . . Anything. "
He raises an eyebrow and replies "anything?"
She nods "anything!"
He pulls out his wallet excitedly and removes 3 crisp $100 bills and gives it to her. Then he says "paint my house."

A stormtrooper walks into a bar and orders a martini

The bartender asks while handing the stormtrooper his drink, "Shouldn't you not be drinking on the job?"
The stormtrooper arches his eyebrow, "And hit what I'm aiming for?"

My grandpa was telling me about when he used to hunt tigers.

He said, "this one time I was alone in the jungle when out of the bushes, right in front of me, a huge tiger leaped out suddenly and went RRROOOOAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!! Kid, you won't believe it, I s**... myself."
I raised my eyebrows. "You bet I believe it, I'd have s**... myself too if that happened to me."
"That's not what I mean g**..., go fetch me some toilet paper."

An inmate asked his cell mate what he was in for.

The man said he was in for murdering a man. He asked what he was in for.
Honestly I shouldn't be in here. They said it was because I had s**... with a woman.
The man raised an eyebrow and asked did she consent?
Yes. She consented.
How old was she?
23.
Then why did they put you in here?
The man scoffed and replied, they said dog years don't count.

A bodybuilder sees a group of beautiful women flocking around a skinny guy at the gym one day...

The bodybuilder is baffled. He asks his friend: "What the h**... do they see in that wimp?"
"I hear he can bench press a hundred pounds," says the friend.
"A hundred pounds?!?" The bodybuilder snorts. "h**..., I can bench press over three hundred and fifty!!"
The friend raises an eyebrow. "With your tongue?"

Plastic surgery used to be a t**... subject

Now if you mention Botox, no one even raises an eyebrow

A man walks in to a bar

And sees an ugly old humpback of a guy, who is constantly surrounded by women.
How to spot a millionaire, am I right? he winks and smiles at the bartender
No, Larry is a plumber, not a millionaire
Okay - so he must be extremely charming?
Larry is actually a man of very few words
Then what on earth makes him so incredibly popular with women??
I actually have no idea - every day he comes here, he just sits there quietly, drinking his beer, l**... his eyebrows..

A group of soldiers stood in formation at an army base.

The drill sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out!"
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The drill instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow.
The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

I remember when plastic surgery was a bit of a t**... subject..

..but nowadays when you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow.

Little Jimmy puts his hand up in class: "Miss! Miss! I have to go to the toilet, quick!" The teacher replies: "Not until you say the alphabet."

So Little Jimmy recites: "ABCDEFGJKLMNOPQRUVWXYZ"

The teacher raises an eyebrow. "Excuse me," she says, "but where's the S, H, I and T?"

Little Jimmy just sighs. "...In my pants..."

Cosmetic surgery used to be a t**... subject...

Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

Plastic surgery used to be such a t**... discussion topic...

...now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow

Remember when plastic surgery was a t**...

Now you mention Botox and no one rises an eyebrow

Eyebrows joke, I told this girl I was seeing she had drawn her eyebrows on too high

jokes about eyebrows

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these eyebrows jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.