Eye Clinic Jokes
10 eye clinic jokes and hilarious eye clinic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eye clinic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Eye Clinic Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good eye clinic joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to the clinic today and nervously said, "Doc, this is a little embarrassing, but I've got a problem." Rolling his eyes, chuckling softly, he retorted, "Trust me, I'm a doctor. Nothing you can show me would be startling."
Hesitating just a bit, I stammered, "Well...I...I...I seem to have 5 p**...."
Stunned, eyes wide, he rasped, "Wait, what?! How did you get your pants on!?"
I whispered, "Actually, they fit like a glove."
A furious lady marches into the eye clinic's reception area and shouts at the receptionist, "Who stole my wig during my eye surgery yesterday?"
The doctor immediately rushes out to pacify her. "I assure you, no one on my team would do such a thing. What makes you think it was stolen?"
The woman replies, "Well, before the procedure, my wig was perfect, but when I woke up, it was a tangled mess, and made me look ugly and cheap."
"I think," says the surgeon gently, "this means your cataract operation was a success."
Opening a laser eye clinic. Going to name it CircumVision...
SEE what I did there?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Saw Marshawn l**... at the eye clinic a few days ago.
He told me he was just there so he won't get blind.
Last week, I saw a man fall face first into some stinging nettles...
but luckily he was right next to an eye clinic.
I thought, well that's a sight for sore eyes.
A Soviet citizen entered a medical clinic one day and asked to see an ear-and-eye doctor.
Asked about is problem, the man replied, "Well, I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."
A Baby Boomer Eye Surgeon opened a clinic that specializes in treating Millenials.
It's called, "We Do Real Eyes."
People have become so mean, ruthless and straightforward these days I tell you,
There is an eye clinic in my colony named "Asif Eye Care"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Helping The Doctor
A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work to go fishing, so he approached his assistant.
"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients".
"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.
The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: "So,Murphy, how was your day?"
Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so I gave him Paracetamol."
"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor.
"The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon," says Murphy.
"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in!
Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everything including her bra and her p**... and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!'"
"Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor.
"I put drops in her eyes."
At the mental health clinic.
A fresh patient arrives and is being guided around by a staff member.
"This right here is John" sais the staffer "he is a paranoid delusional"
"Oh dear!" speaks the newbie "do you really think they are out to get you?"
"No!" shrieks John, tears running down his eyes, "nobody's out to get me, nobody!", and John storms off crying.
"Wow, you guys must ave some cold blooded, but hard hitting therapy", sais the newbie.
"Actually ..." replies the staff member, "John is being treated for self esteem issues."
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