The Best 87 Extra Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Extra jokes. There are some extra conjunctions jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these extra paycheck puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Extra Jokes and Puns

A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy.

The man says, "Who would ever miss the World Cup final?

The guy replies, "Well that was my wife's seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.

The man says back, "That's terrible, but couldn't you get another close family member to come with you?

The guy says, "No. They're all at the funeral."

A man from the Census Bureau knocks on an apartment door in the projects

A black woman answers the door and the man asks, "Excuse me, Ma'am, how many people live here?"

The woman replies, "Me and my 12 children".

"Wow" the man exclaims, "I had better go get an extra record sheet so I can write down all of their names".

"No, you won't need to" she says, "I named them all Leeroy".

The man stops for a second with a puzzled look on his face. "But Ma'am, how do you call them each to dinner?"

"I just yell 'Leeroy, time for dinner!' and they all come".

"But then how do you get them to go to bed?"

"Same thing. I just yell 'Leeroy, time for bed!' and they all get to bed".

"So what do you do when you want to speak to them one on one?"

"That's easy, I just call them by their last name."

A Woman Walks Into A Drugstore And Asks...

the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"

She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"

Extra joke, A Woman Walks Into A Drugstore And Asks...

Little Billy had been blind since birth...

...and one night his mom tells him "If you pray extra hard tonight God will allow you see in the morning."

So little Billy prayed his heart out before going to sleep that night. The next morning he opened his eyes and to his surprise he screamed out.
"Mommy I still can't see!"
"I know son, April fools."

You know what gets me down?

An extra Chromsome


Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme.

Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.

*Wow, thanks! I was expecting a much chilier reception, but your warm comments have kept those fears at bay (that's what you get for encouraging me :)*

It has been scientifically proven that women with few pounds extra tend to live a lot longer than...

...men who point that out.

Extra joke, It has been scientifically proven that women with few pounds extra tend to live a lot longer than...

Two old ladies are outside smoking a cigarette

It starts raining and without hesitating one of the ladies pulls a condom out of her purse and covers the cig to keep it from getting wet.

The other lady thinks this is genius and walks to the nearest pharmacy.

She grabs a pack of extra large condoms and proceeds to check out.
The cashier says," ma'am, are you sure you need these in extra large?"

The old lady replies, "well I'm not sure, do you think they'll fit a Camel?"

A Blonde and Condoms

The most beautiful blonde woman you've ever seen walks into the drugstore. She walks to the pharmacy and asks if they sell Extra-Large condoms, the cashier says yes and points her down aisle 11. About 30 minutes go by and the pharmacist notices that the blonde is still looking at the condoms. He decides to see if she needs any help. He says, "Did you find the extra large condoms?" She responds, "Yes, now I'm just waiting for someone to buy some."

Latest reserch shows, that women with extra weight...

Live longer, than the men, that mention it.

Job Interview

A games programmer is at a job interview at Electronic Arts.

As the interview comes to an end, the interviewer glances down at the programmer's rΓ©sumΓ© and sees "please turn over" written at the bottom.

He turns the rΓ©sumΓ© over, but finds that the other side is blank.

The interviewer asks, "Where's the rest of your rΓ©sumΓ©?"

The programmer replies, "Oh, that's downloadable content; it costs an extra ten dollars!"

You can explore extra spare reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean extra payment dad jokes. There are also extra puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man goes into the bathroom to take a dump.

When he's done, he realizes there's no toilet paper. Knocking on the stall next to him, he asks, "Hey, do have an extra roll of toilet paper?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have a newspaper?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have an old handkerchief?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have change for a five?"

Got this one from my grandpa.

A pizza guy enters an obesity clinic and says, "I have 15 meat lover pizzas with extra cheese."

The nurse at the receptionist desk angrily asks him, "Why would you come here and mock our patients?"

The pizza guy defensively answers, "It's just what the doctor ordered!"

Why did the golfer wear a extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one

Mayweather will probably win against Pacquiao

He gets extra practice with his wife.

Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers?

The FIFA headquarters.

Extra joke, Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers?

4 college students are having a great time on spring break.

So they decide to spend an extra week away from class. One of the students calls his professor, and says "prof, we are stuck in Daytona beach. We won't be able to make it back in time for exams because the tire on our car blew. We need to get it fixed before we head back".

The prof says "no problem. Your safety comes first. Do what you need to, and when you get back the four of you can write the exam at that point".

So the students live it up for another week. Drinking. Partying. Etcetera.

When they get back to school a week later, the prof welcomes them, sits them each in different rooms, and hands them the exam.

When they turn the page over to start writing, they find their exams have only one question: "which tire?"

EXTRA-LARGE CONDOMS

A woman asks the pharmacist if he sells extra-large condoms.
The pharmacist replies, "Yes, would you like to buy some?"
The woman says, "No, but do you mind if I stand here and wait to see if anyone buys a box?"

Old couple goes to a fast food restorant.

They order one burger and fries, sit down and divide the burger and fries. A man from table next to them sees that and asks politely: "If you want, I can buy some extra food for you." "No thanks, we are a old couple, we share everything." Time goes by and the man is eating, but the woman is not. From the table next to them, the man asks again:"I really have no problem buying you food." Man replies:"Dodnt worry about it, she will eat! We share everything" But the stranger is not happy with that and asks the woman:"Why are you not eating?" Woman looks at him and says:"I am waiting for the teeth."


Waiting for... eeeeeer... someone?

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms. He replies:
- "Yes, we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds:
- "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"

Monkey Business

A zookeeper notices the lonely female gorilla is feeling depressed and needs to cheer her up again. He asks the redneck janitor of the zoo if he'll have sex with the gorilla for $500.
The redneck says that he'll do it under 2 conditions.
Ok, says the zookeeper, what are they?
I don't want anyone to ever find out.
Ok, done! What's your second condition?
The redneck says; "I'll need an extra week to come up with the five hundred dollars."

"I always try to go the extra mile for my customers"

-New York's most hated cab driver

Courtesy of @lordbeef on Twitter

Facebook Problem

Someone knocked at my door last evening. When I opened it, I saw a guy from Dominos holding a chicken pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and onion rings.

"I haven't ordered any pizza," I said. "This must be a mistake."

"I know," he replied. "Your neighbour forgot his Facebook Password and wanted to show you what he was eating for dinner."

I've just been fired from the clock making factory

after all those extra hours I put in.

I got fired from my job as a taxi driver.

Turns out my customers didn't like it when I tried to go the extra mile.

I asked my friend with an extra chromosome if he wanted to hang out...

He said he was down

Don't let...

...an extra chromosome get you down.

I met an alien who couldn't stop swearing...

He was an Extra Tourettes-trial.

Me: Can I have a few extra days off before Christmas?"

Boss: It's May.

Me: Sorry, may I have a few days off before Christmas?

In Italy, they call me Olive Oil

Its because im extra virgin. :(

Camped

Dad: We're going camped tomorrow, and I think we'll go extra deep into the woods.

Son: That sounds really fun, but wouldn't the proper statement be 'we're going camping.'

Dad: Normally, yes, but the verb changes because I'm sure we'll be going past tents.

I saw a man on the street with a sign saying he was hungry.

I told him I had an extra sandwich and he could pick which one he wanted, turkey or roast beef. He looked at both sandwiches for about 30 seconds, them threw up his hands and ran off.

I wondered for a second, then I remembered,

"Beggars can't be choosers"

Your cat died

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.

Her husband said: The cat just died.

She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?

Husband: She is playing on the roof.

A guy wants a dog

A guy wants a dog. He goes to one of his relatives if he has an extra dog. The relative says yes.
"Does he like kids?"said the guy
"Yes he does, but you can just give him dog food"

How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to tell you they are vegans.
.......
Well apparently the correct answer is three. The extra one is needed to post whiny replies when they all get triggered by this joke.

Two women are discussing their love lives

Jo says: "I have to be careful not to get pregnant."

Jenny looks confused. "But I thought Tony recently had a vasectomy."

"He did." says Jo. "That's why I need to be extra careful."

How to add extra fun during your amusement park ride ?

Carry some extra nuts and bolts with you.

as soon as the ride begins, Tap on the shoulder of the guy in front of you. Show them the nuts and bolts and ask

"Are these from your seat ? "

A beautiful blonde woman approaches a pharmacist and asks, "Do you have extra large condoms?"

The pharmacist replies, "Yes, isle 11."

The blonde goes to the isle. But about 30 minutes later she is still looking at the condoms. The pharmacist calls over to her, "Do you need some help?"

The woman replies, "No, I'm just waiting for somebody to buy some."

As God created this human child, God asked him...

"How about an extra chromosome?"

The child replied, "I'd be down for that."

A gynecologist decided to become a mechanic...

He graduated mechanic school with a 5.2 gpa and asked his teacher how that was possible.

The teacher said "Well, you aced the written exam thats half. Then you reassembled the motor perfectly, and we had to give you the extra credit when you did it all through the Muffler"!

I'm not just alright with my extra chromosome...

In fact, I'm down with it.

Dating a hoarder

I used to date a hoarder, and she broke up with me. That stings extra hardβ€”I'm like the one thing she can get rid of.

A beautiful girl asked me in a restaurant,"Are you single?"

I Happily I replied," Yes...."

She took away the extra chair in front of me.

My seatmate on a flight was a woman.

Ever the charmer, I asked, Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?

Yes, she said, but I wasn't willing to pay.

I can't believe that they fired me from the clock making factory!

After all the extra hours I put into it!

Mom, I found a $10 bill today, but I threw it away, cause it was fake.

"Oh, how did you know it was fake?"

"It had an extra zero."

The doctor asked me how I'd feel about having an extra chromosome.

I told him I'd be 100% down with that.

A cute girl winked at me

She must be extra interested because she winked with both eyes.

Studies show that women who carry a little extra weight live longer

than the men who mention it.

My doctor asked if I wanted an extra chromosome.

I told him I'd be down with that.

If you're a criminal and you go camping with EA, don't forget to bring something to sleep in...

... or they'll make you pay for the extra con tent

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the cashier "do you have extra large condoms".

the cashier says "yes, second aisle to the left. You wanna buy some?"

the woman says

"No, but would you mind if I wait here until someone else does"

It took Gandhi over a month to cross the Alps barefoot, no washing, worn out, and survived only on garlic. He was a...

Super-calloused fragile mystic, extra halitosis.

I think I saw my friend with an extra electron...

...so I'm going to keep an ion him.

I tried to be an Uber driver...

Trouble is, my passengers didn't appreciate when I went the extra mile.

Do not shampoo in the shower

I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,

"For extra body and volume."

No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads

"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."

Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.

What do you get when you buy 3 aliens but they give you 5?

Extra terrestrials.

My friend had purchased an extra stand-up comedy ticket for me. I turned him down.

After all, I could never enjoy jokes at other people's expense.

If I had a nickel for every time my roommate stole from me

He would have an extra $50.

Did you hear about the kid born w/o an eyelid?

When they circumcised him, they used the extra skin to fix his eyelid.

The procedure went fine, he's a little cockeyed now though...

The most beautiful woman I've ever seen came up to my table in a restaurant and asked me if I'm single...

I happily replied,

"Yess..."

She took away the extra chair in front of me.

My teacher used to tell me that I'd never amount to anything.

But ten years later, guess who I saw at mcdonalds? My teacher.

I served him a bic mac with no pickles even tho he wanted extra. Who's laughing now?

Extra Large Condoms...

A beautiful woman approaches a pharmacist and asks, Do you have extra large condoms?

The pharmacist replies, Yes, aisle 11. The blonde goes to the isle. But about 30 minutes later she is still looking at the condoms.

The pharmacist calls over to her, Do you need some help?

The woman replies, No, I'm just waiting for somebody to buy some.

The person sitting next to me on a flight was a woman. Ever the charmer, I used one of my pick-up lines on her.

I asked, Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?

Yes, she replied, but I wasn't willing to pay.

Why do people keep adding an extra s after 'needles'?

I don't see the point, it's needless.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer

... than the men who mention it.

What do you get when you cross Father's Day and Cake day?

Extra Karma... I hope.

What do incels use for lubrication?

Extra virgin olive oil.

What's common between me, good quality olive oil, and probably you?

They're all extra virgin.

I was at a restaurant...

A girl came over to me and asked "are you single? So I excitedly replied "Yes!"

So she took the extra chair from my table.

A pretty lady in a restaurant just asked me if I was single and I happily replied yes

She took the extra chair in front of me away

I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees.

He counted and gave me 13.

Sir, you gave me an extra , I said.

That's a freebie.

I've been smoking weed for most of my life, and today I quit cold turkey.

I'll make do with the much cheaper chicken cold cuts and put the extra money towards buying more weed.

This pastor decided to skip church one sunday morning and go play golf.

He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.

He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried is an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.

An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"

How does the Hulk make extra money?

He flips cars.

I went to a beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13.

Sir, you gave me an extra. That's a freebie.

I went to a pet store to buy 12 bees..

They gave me 13..

The extra one was a freebie.

After five months on the job, a new employee believes he deserves a huge raise and decides to ask his boss.

And how much of a raise do you want? asks his boss.

I'm thinking an extra $10,000 a year, says the employee.

The boss nods. Sounds about right. And what would you say to a package of ten weeks vacation, 20 paid holidays, and a company car leased every two years, say, a silver Cadillac?

The employee sits up straight. Wow! he says. Are you kidding?

* Yes, but you started it. *

I tried watching LGBT movies to celebrate Pride month

but I need to pay extra for LGBT Plus

A new study found

A new study found

that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits..

And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims..

I always feel bad using a new toothpaste

In front of my extra sensitive one.

A blonde was going door to door...

She was looking to do odd jobs and chores to make some extra money. She knocks on a door, a guy answers and she asks if he has any chores he needs done. He said "sure I need my porch painted. I'll give you $100 if you do a good job". He shows her where the paint and brushes are and she says she'll make it look great. 30 minutes later, she knocks on his door and says "I'm done" and he replies "already? I thought it would take hours". She assured him she was finished and then said "by the way, that's a Ferrari, not a porch".

The Boss

The boss comes to work with a new car and some employee was in the parking lot also.

The employee sees the car and says:

- Wow, nice car boss.

The boss replies:

- If you work hard and put in extra hours, next year I'll buy a better one.

The Taliban are banning opium and will be growing olives instead.

For the extra virgin.

Why do golfers have an extra pair of socks?

Incase they get a hole in one.

A man downloaded a calculator app, but needed to pay extra to unlock the plus button

He had to pay in order to use additional features

Did you hear about the guy who won an award for having the most extra body parts?

He won the Chernobyl Piece Prize.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the extra fee jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working extra special piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes