Extensible Jokes
68 extensible jokes and hilarious extensible puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about extensible that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Extensible Short Jokes
Short extensible jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The extensible humour may include short jokes also.
- After extensive research I've come to the conclusion that 10 is smaller than 5! I finally understand factorials!
- It's comforting to know that the US government works the same way as a college student when it comes to deadlines... They both wait until the last minute, then get an extension.
- A new study proves that beavers cause extensive flooding I've read it. The evidence against them is damning.
- "Suspect is an elder female with an extensive criminal background..." "We don't have any leads, but we'll search every crook and nanny until we find her."
- Professor: The homework is due Monday. Student: Can I get an extension?
Professor: No worries. The homework is due Monday.png. - Yesterday, Iran asked the U.S. for an extension on disabling their nuclear program. When asked how much time they needed, they said, 10, 9, 8…
- After rounds of extensive life saving operations, I asked my nurse if she'd visit me when I finally get out. She told me she doesn't like cemeteries.
- Some historians were convinced that Jesus's birth place didn't exist After extensive research they conducted that it Israel
- What keyboard shortcut is extensively used by journalists who work for Breitbart News? alt right
- After 4 months without the gym I finally went back and a great weight was lifted off my shoulders After they removed the weight, the paramedics then took me to the hospital for extensive surgery.
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Extensible One Liners
Which extensible one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with extensible? I can suggest the ones about and .
- How do babies keep track of their fathers? They use an extensive dada-base.
- After extensive research FDA suggests smoking cures Ham
- Which file extension is the most rasta? .ini
- I did 300 leg extensions at the gym the other day... My leg was pretty long afterwards.
- What does it take to be a conductor? Extensive Training
- What does a gun say when it gets a barrel extension? "Help! I'm being suppressed!"
- Today I was given a box of Jamaican hair extensions.... It was dreadful
- What's the world's sexiest phone number extension? 6969
Extensible Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about extensible you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make extensible pranks.
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night.
After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?”
The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son:
"Dad, what is Windows 95?"
"Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
One day a blonde woman entered an autobody shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car.
The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents.
He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out.
The woman went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway.
She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when another blonde woman walked by and asked what she was doing.
After hearing the whole story the second blonde pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down. Your personal check for the full $30,000.”
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill.
He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.
The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.
“This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely n**... virus, which is extremely contagious!”
“Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?”
“Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.”
“Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully.
The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
Some members of a health club were having their first meeting.
The director of the group said, "Now, I’d like each of you to give the facts of your daily routine."
Several people spoke, admitting their excesses, and then one obviously overweight members said, "I eat moderately, I drink moderately, and I exercise frequently."
"Hmm?" said the manager. "And are you sure you having nothing else to add?"
"Well, yes," said the member. "I lie extensively."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.
As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat.
Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual s**... Studies Convention in Chicago".
He swallowed hard.
Here was the gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting about s**... studies!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my extensive personal experience to share interesting facts about sexuality.
"Really," he gulped,"like what?"
"Well," she explained, "For instance, Native American Indians are the most passionate. While Jewish men are the most likely to satisfy a woman fully. And in terms of lasting the longest, surprisingly it's the Southern r**...."
Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.
"I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."
"Um, Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."
The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline.
No one remembers where this tradition originated, but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.
A plane is spotted trying to land at Area 51
One day at Area 51 a radar tech spots a single engine plane on final approach to the secret Air Force base. The plane touches down and is immediately surrounded by armed guards. The plane is impounded and the pilot is whisked off for questioning. The pilot claims that he had been flying from Las Vegas, gotten lost, and nearly run out of fuel, so he put his plane down at the first runway he saw. After extensive background checks, it is proven that the pilot isn't a spy and he is set to be released the following morning.
Before he is allowed to leave, he is given the "You didn't see anything" talk, and is told that under absolutely no circumstances is he allowed to tell anyone where he was, or what he saw. The Air Force fuels up the man's plane, gives him a proper heading to get back to Las Vegas, and sends him on his way.
Later that day, the man's plane is again spotted getting ready to land at Area 51. This time there are two people in the plane. When the plane touches down, it is immediately surrounded by guards again. As soon as it comes to a stop, the man hops out and yells: "Do whatever you want to me, but SOMEBODY has to tell my wife where I was last night."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sensitive men do exist
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his apartment and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears.
Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears,especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.
She turns to him... they kiss...and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot s**... love.
After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they're lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and she asks,
smiling,
"Well, how was it for you?"
The guy says:
"Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."
Cops
The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten black bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay, okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit."
Ronald Reagan
Ronald Reagan's doctor comes to him and says,"I'm afraid it's Alzheimer's, Mr. President."
Reagan muses this information over then replies,"Well, I always say 'trust, but verify' so verify it to me doctor."
The doctor goes and has extensive tests done on Reagan's brain and even calls in a second doctor for confirmation. After waiting a few days for the results he visits Reagan again.
"Mr. President, I have conclusive evidence that my prior diagnosis was correct.", the doctor says confidently.
"What diagnosis?", Reagan replies confused.
"The one that said you have Alzheimer's.", the doctor said mouth gaping open.
"Oh, well I always say, 'trust, but verify' so..."
The NYPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.
The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The NYPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!'
Chicago Police Department
In an effort to determine the top crime fighting agency in the country, the president narrowed the field to three finalist, the CIA, the FBI, and the Chicago Police.
The three remaining contenders were given the task of catching a rabbit which was released into the forest.
The CIA went into the forest. They placed animal informants throughout. They questioned all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation they concluded that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI went into the forest. After two weeks without a capture, they burned the forest killing everything in it, including the rabbit. They made no apologies. The rabbit deserved it.
The CPD went into the forest. They came out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear was yelling "Okay, Okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit".
(My favorite joke)Who is best at apprehending criminals?
The CIA, the FBI, and the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later dragging a badly beaten bear. The bear is screaming, "Okay, okay! I'm a RABBIT!! I'm a RABBIT!!"
How do you make a female chemist feel self conscious?
Ask if her hair is an extensive property
Teddy Bears
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"
The woman says, "You can have any prize from the BOTTOM shelf."
The KGB, the FBI and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at catching criminals
The Secretary General of the UN decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is screaming: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
After extensive marketing research the Colonel concluded that the franchise would benefit from better traffic patterns on the other side of the intersection.
(from my grandmother's Reader's Digest circa 1988)
A man is staring into his whiskey
The barkeep asks if something's the matter.
"3 of my servers have the same virus, there are reports of bugs and extensions cropping up in our clientelle's cookies, and today icecream sandwich ruined my phone."
"IT sounds rough" he adds sympathetically.
"IT?" the customer says, " I work at Baskin Robbins."
A man visits a dentist
He has horrible pain in his mouth.
The dentist examines him, and says, "There is extensive damage in here, what is your diet like?"
The man says, "Hollandaise sauce. Morning, noon and night. I eat it on everything."
"Well, the damage seems very extensive, but I think I can fix it. You will need several root canals, and then I will install a chrome plate."
"A chrome plate? That seems really severe."
"Don't worry, you will be able to eat anything you want. No problems."
"Even hollandaise? I really love that sauce."
"Why sure, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."
I bought an extension ladder from a recovering alcoholic on Craigslist...
But it only has 12 Steps!
The CIA the FBI and the KGB hold a competition
The KGB, the FBI and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary General of the UN decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that the rabbit does not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming. The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
What does extensive knowledge about the Scandinavian god of thunder make one?
An a-Thor-ity.
Through voting, users determine what posts rise to the top of community pages and, by extension, the public home page of the site
...until the mods wake up.
I've been using the STAYFOCUSED extension which I find helpful.
Because I use it to block out work related websites so I can focus on my procrastination.
Starting salary
Reaching the end of an extensive job interview, the HR person asked a young Engineer fresh out of college, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The engineering graduate said, "In the range of $100,000 - 125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The HR person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years -- say, a brand new BMW?"
The engineering graduate sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... burns 300 calories an hour.
After doing some extensive calculations, this year I burned roughly 5 calories.
My uncle is trying to become a locomotive engineer
but he couldn't handle the extensive training
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After extensive research, I've concluded that unvaccinated children will have a higher chance of not being on the Autistic Spectrum
Instead, they have a considerable higher chance of being dead...
After extensive research, I have finally found out what happened to Hillary Clinton's emails
Calvin had a mean teacher.
So when he missed a deadline for an assignment, Calvin begged for an extension.
The teacher said, No, I'm giving you a 0, Calvin.
Calvin replied, You are absolutely cold.
I was just thinking about the great empires...
After extensive research I found the Ottoman Empire was the only one that took its fall sitting down.
I don't mean to brag... but my Christmas wrapping is art. I wrap presents like it's an extension of my soul.
It just so happens my soul is twisted, torn and barely held together with tape.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know it's i**... for the president to use an extension cord?
That'd be an overreach of his power.
14. Having your title be an extension of the post as well
Things I hate
1 Lists
2 Irony
4 Numbers being out of order
5 Skipping numbers
F Inconsistency
7 Repetition
7 Repetition
8 Speling wurdz rong
9 DLC
10 Replying to your own comment
In the early 1970s, researchers discovered...
...that a certain enzyme in a specific breed of seagull chicks granted dolphins that ate them a dramatically increased lifespan. Hoping that this could be made viable for humans, they started extensive testing. Unfortunately, the breed of gulls wasn't native to the area around their laboratory.
They sent a research assistant up the coast to gather additional specimens. On his way back with a truckload of the tiny birds, he accidentally struck a cougar in the road. Unfortunately for him, it was (at the time) the state animal, and harming one was a felony.
The poor guy was charged with transporting young gulls across a state lion for immortal porpoises.
When I compose songs on my piano, I play multiple notes at once to make my songs longer.
They're extension chords.
The "L"
A kid was writing the numbers by extension on the board and he was doing very well for his age untill he wrote "elleven", the teacher saw and warned him about the mistake, so the kid looked at the board and then at the teacher and said "What, the L?"
A Hydrogen atom sits crying in the corner...
I approached and asked if he was okay. He said "No, I lost my electron"
I said "Are you sure?"
He said "Yes, I'm positive"
(This joke once scored me a week's extension on some chemistry coursework I hadn't been doing)
I ordered an extension course, How to Deal With Life's Disappointments .
Yesterday, I got the first lesson by post.
It was an empty envelope.
Christmas wrapping
I don't mean to brag... but my Christmas wrapping is art. I wrap presents like it's an extension of my soul. It just so happens my soul is twisted, torn, and barely held together with tape.
God spoke to His angels
He said, "after extensive trials I have figured out a way to rotate a planet so it receives an even distribution of sunlight and evening."
"Wow," said one angel. "What are you going to do now, sir? "
And God said, "Call it a day."